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Leelanau Talk Blog

## How To Pass Your Drug Test

November 16th, 2008 | Tags: drug tests, guides, howtos, print this shit everywhere!, weed
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The Leelanau School has an extremely invasive policy when it comes to drug testing. Last year, they even started to implement drug testing on a random basis — even to kids who were model students. Find out how to pass your drug test, what causes false positives, and your rights when it comes to testing.

Why is Drug Testing Wrong?
Because what you do with your body and what you put into it is your business, not anybody else’s. Regardless of what you consented to in your applications, it doesn’t change the morality of the issue. If you’re using drugs, it doesn’t matter what drugs you’re using or when you’re using them; as long as you don’t hurt anybody in the process, it’s none of their business.

Drug testing is also wrong because it’s extremely invasive. Getting tested can be an embarrassing situation, even if you’re just taking a baseline. Testing can reveal a number of things about you that you don’t want revealed, such as what medications you take or whether you are having issues peeing on command. For somebody who does, taking these tests is never fun. It can also be embarrassing if you are singled out for a drug test. If you take pride in staying abstinent, it doesn’t look good when you get pulled in for a test especially when the school doesn’t tell you if you pass. (They don’t tell you if you pass, only if you fail)

Drug testing is not even used for its proclaimed purposes. It’s mainly used as a scare tactic in order to perpetuate a culture of fear. Every time we are subjected to testing, it reinforces the idea that we are sujects of the school and that our free will is limited. For example, drug testing is brought up in situations like quiet period and before prom where administrators threaten kids with drug tests. In order to stop kids from doing drugs (again, their business), the school says that they’ll be screening more or screening “everybody”. If drug testing were really to detect members of the community who used drugs, it would be applied on a regular, consistent basis as opposed to the haphazard schedule it has been on in the past. The school also targets students who skip class or act up for more drug tests than regular. This basically subjects students to embarrassing situations when they aren’t acting perfectly, like making them walk down the hall in embarrassing clothes. The Geneva Convention has long outlawed embarrassing prisoners, shouldn’t we apply the same standards to our students? If you’re acting up in class, asking questions, or bringing up controversial topics, you might just be singled out for additional testing. My question is: If your drug use isn’t disrupting the learning environment or causing problems, why should the school even care? In other words: If they can’t tell, why does it matter?

Why Drug Testing Doesn’t Work
Drug tests can prove that you used or were in the vicinity of people using drugs, but they don’t prove when that occurred. What if you were around people using drugs on fall or spring break? The test assumes you have done drugs while in school, and you are punished according to that assumption. If you’re dealing with drugs like weed, whose active chemical THC is fat-soluble, you may have used it a long time ago. THC is stored in fat cells when it is used and if you gain weight after using it, then that THC can be stored in your body for months and months. If you start losing weight, you might just start failing your drug tests.

Drug tests are also subject to numerous false positives. A false positive is when the drug tester says your urine sample contained a drug when it did not. Here is an incomplete list of things that might cause false positives on your drug test. If you fail a drug test and can prove you have taken any of these things (or can come up with an even semi-plausible story), bring it up with school administrators.

THC (Weed):
Dronabinol (Marinol)
Ibuprofen; (Advil, Nuprin, Motrin, Excedrin IB etc.)
Ketoprofen (Orudis KT)
Kidney infection (Kidney disease, diabetes) Liver Disease
Naproxen (Aleve)
Promethazine (Phenergan, Promethegan)
Riboflavin (B2, Hempseed Oil)

Amphetamines:
Ephedrine, pseudoephedrine, propylephedrine, phenylephrine, or desoxyephedrine
(Nyquil, Contact, Sudafed, Allerest, Tavist-D, Dimetapp, etc)
Phenegan-D, Robitussin Cold and Flu, Vicks Nyquil
Over-the-counter diet aids with phenylpropanolamine (Dexatrim, Accutrim)
Over-the-counter nasal sprays (Vicks inhaler, Afrin)
Asthma medications (Marax, Bronkaid tablets, Primatine Tablets)
Prescription medications (Amfepramone, Cathne, Etafediabe, Morazone,phendimetrazine, phenmetrazine, benzphetamine, fenfluramine, dexfenfluramine,dexdenfluramine,Redux, mephentermine, Mesocarb, methoxyphenamine, phentermine,amineptine, Pholedrine, hydroymethamphetamine, Dexedrine, amifepramone, clobenzorex,fenproyorex, mefenorex, fenelylline, Didrex, dextroamphetamine, methphenidate, Ritalin,pemoline, Cylert, selegiline, Deprenyl, Eldepryl, Famprofazone) Kidney infection, kidney disease, Liver disease, diabetes
Over-the-counter cold and allergy remedies that contain ephedrine, pseudoephedrine, propylephedrine, phenylephrine or desoxyephedrine: Nyquil, Contact, Sudafed, Allerest 12 Hour, A.R.M., Triaminic 12, Ornade, Tavist-D, Dimetapp, Sinex, Neosynephrine, Actifed, Bayer Select Maximum Strength Sinus Pain Relief Caplets, Contact Non-Drowsy Formula Sinus Caplets, Dristan Cold Caplets, Maximum Strength Sine-Aid Tablets, Maximum Strength Sudafed Sinus Caplets, Maximum Strength Tylenol Sinus Gelcaps, No Drowsiness Sinarest Tabs, Sinus Excedrin Extra Strength Caplets, Cheracol Sinus, Drixoral Cold and Flu, Efidac/24, Phenegan-D, Robitussin Cold and Flu, Vicks Nyquil, Dexatrim, Accutrim, Amfepramone, Cathne, Etafediabe, Morazone, phendimetrazine, phenmetrazine, benzphetamine, fenfluramine, dexfenfluramine, dexdenfluramine, Redux, mephentermine, Mesocarb, methoxphenamine, phentermine, amineptine, Pholedrine, hydroymethamphetamine, Dexedrine, amifepramone, clobenzorex, fenproyorex, mefenorex, fenelylline, Didrex, dextroamphetamine, methphenidate, Ritalin, pemoline, Cylert, selegiline, Deprenyl, Eldepryl, Famprofazone

Opiates (heroin, etc.):
Poppy Seeds (in large amounts), Tylenol with codeine, Most prescription pain medications
Cough suppressants with Dextromethorphan (DXM), Nyquil, Kidney infection, Kidney Disease
Diabetes, Liver Disease

Ecstacy:
Ephedrine, pseudoephedrine, propylephedrine, phenylephrine, or desoxyephedrine
(Nyquil, Contact, Sudafed, Allerest, Tavist-D, Dimetapp, etc)
Phenegan-D, Robitussin Cold and Flu, Vicks Nyquil
Over-the-counter diet aids with phenylpropanolamine (Dexatrim, Accutrim)
Over-the-counter nasal sprays (Vicks inhaler, Afrin)
Asthma medications (Marax, Bronkaid tablets, Primatine Tablets)
Prescription medications (Amfepramone, Cathne, Etafediabe, Morazone,phendimetrazine, phenmetrazine, benzphetamine, fenfluramine, dexfenfluramine, dexdenfluramine,Redux, mephentermine, Mesocarb, methoxyphenamine, phentermine, amineptine, Pholedrine, hydroymethamphetamine, Dexedrine, amifepramone, clobenzorex, fenproyorex, mefenorex, fenelylline, Didrex, dextroamphetamine, methphenidate, Ritalin, pemoline, Cylert, selegiline, Deprenyl, Eldepryl, Famprofazone) Kidney infection, kidney disease
Liver disease, diabetes

Cocaine - Substances or Conditions which can cause false positives
Kidney infection (kidney disease)
Liver infection (liver disease)
Diabetes
Amoxicillin (antibiotic), tonic water

How drug testing works
As of the 2007-2008 school year, all students received a baseline testing upon enrollment. If a student failed a baseline test, he/she would be subject to random or planned testing from then on (as decided by an administrator). If a student failed a test and tested positive for hard drugs such as heroin or unusually high amounts of drugs such as weed, you would be subject to forced counseling and put on a random screening program. The school could also screen people at random or when they were suspected of using drugs (ie skipping class, acting funny, asking questions, etc.).

What Are My Rights as a Student?
I am not a lawyer, but I do know a lot of law. If you’re seriously considering doing something about being forced to be tested, then be sure to contact a lawyer. When you enroll in the Leelanau School, you agree to be subject to drug testing under certain conditions (random, if they have reason to believe you have been using drugs etc.). If you are forced to take tests for reasons not covered by that release, you have grounds to take legal action. If the school forces you to take a drug test through coercion such as physical violence, or physically forcing you into the testing room, threatening you, etc. then you have grounds for legal action. All the drug testing release form does is insure that you can’t sue because they required you to take a test for enrollment/graduation.

Medical decisions are yours to make and the school may not force you to take a drug test. They can encourage you by subjecting you to dorming, suspension, etc but they may not use force to make you take one. There are certain conditions under which a school may refuse you a diploma, and I’m not sure if refusing a drug test is one of them. I’d need to research that a little more. If you refuse to take a drug test, the school can’t take any type of legal action against you. As a patient, it is your right (or your guardians, depending on your age and the situation you’re in) to refuse any type of medical treatment on any ground. If the school punishes you for exercising your rights as a patient, there might be grounds for legal action. Also, courts and the media tend to be sympathetic to kids when they assert their rights as patients, even when it is technically the decision of their parents.

How Long Will it Stay in My System?
For occasional, healthy users, weed will stay in your system for 7-10 days. As for other drugs, I’m not so sure.

How to Pass: The Condom Method
If you know you have a drug test coming up, this is the safest option. Since the school does not physically watch you pee, this works. Some schools do this, however it’s extremely invasive and many times borders on sexual harassment. You didn’t agree to let them watch you, so they have no right to.

What you’ll need:
A condom (regular, nothing fun or good tasting or anything, it might mess up the test)
A safety pin
Some clean urine (urine from somebody who hasn’t done drugs recently, the school can’t trace this back to them)
Hand Warmers (available at mini-marts, etc.)
Something to keep the condom attached to you (tape, a pocket, etc.)

1. Find somebody with clean urine. Have them fill up the condom with urine and tie it off.
2. If you have a test coming up anything after this second, wrap hand warmers around the condom to keep it warm. You can also tape it to the inside of your leg but it won’t stay quite warm enough and you’ll have to spend some time warming it up before you give it to the nurse.
3. Right before the test (or whenever possible), conceal the condom. You can put it in a pocket, tape it to your leg, etc.
4. Once you’re in the bathroom, shut the door, take out your safety pin, and poke the end of the condom, letting the urine stream into the sample cup.
5. Wash off the urine around the cup to make sure you don’t get the nurses hands all dirty. If they say it’s too cold, say it’s because you washed it off because you figured they didn’t want to get their hands dirty. There have been situations where the nurses have refused samples because they were “too cold” and made students give another one.
6. Walk away knowing you’ve passed your drug test if your friend who gave you the urine was honest with you.

If you’ll need to pass lots of drug tests, this method is a bit easier:
What you need: A catheter, two pairs of boxes, rubber tubing, needle and thread, and some hand warmers.
1. Cut a square piece out of one of the pairs of boxers.
2. Sew the piece you cut out onto the “fly zone”, ie the area where your penis goes through. This makes an area to put the catheter.
3. Cut a rubber tube to a few inches and attach it to the end of the catheter.
4. Fill the catheter with clean urine and put a hand warmer next to it in the pouch.
5. When you take the test, flip the lever and pass!

How to Pass: The Niacin Method
Warning: I am not a doctor. Taking Niacin can be dangerous. I suggest that you talk to a doctor before taking Niacin and follow all instructions on the package. If you have liver damage, a history of liver problems in your family, diabetes, or anything that could make you more likely to experience liver failure, do not take Niacin. Taking Niacin can be dangerous.

Some people say Niacin helps flush you out so you’ll pass your drug test. From what I understand, it only helps you pass drug tests if you’ve been using fat-soluble drugs like weed. I’ve always taken Niacin before tests but I’m not actually sure how much it helps. I know it does something because I have noticed that it delays the effect of drugs (in this case Dramamine) for up to eight hours. I hear from people who are experienced in faking drug tests that it’s hit or miss and from others that it’s sure-fire. You’re more likely to pass the test if it’s been a while since you used drugs and everything is out of your bloodstream. Niacin is available at drug stores, meijers, and grocery stores. It’s expensive so split the cost with somebody you know. If you have liver problems, you’ll want to ask a doctor before taking it. Whatever you do, don’t buy the “flush free” niacin, it’s completely worthless. Taking niacin for extended periods of time or in large amounts can cause liver damage, so please be careful when using it. Remember: Overdosing on Niacin is dangerous (duh). See this article for more information. I hear that you should take one Niacin pill at least one hour before your test and then it will last for eight hours. Supposedly, it opens up your capillaries so that more blood can pass through them, making the likelihood that THC will end up in your bloodstream/fat higher and the likelihood that it will end up in your urine lower. Depending on how much water you’ve had, your weight, etc. you will experience varying levels of side-effects. If you’re low on water, it will give your skin a burning/crawling sensation which is just horrible. For this reason (and to help dilute your urine), drink lots and lots of water before and during the niacin dose. It will also make you look “flushed”, blotchy, etc. To make yourself feel better, it can help to take a cool shower. Whatever you do, don’t itch, move around a lot, or wear lots of clothes as this will only make it worse. Even better, take it naked (I swear it helps). Keep peeing until your test and then hope for the best.

If anybody has any experience with Niacin, I would appreciate hearing their stories so I can make this section more accurate.

How to Pass: Dilution
There are several ways to do the dilution method. It relies on the principle that the more diluted (ie the more water your urine has it is) the sample is, the less drugs will be present in it.
Method One: Dilution via External Sources
Sometimes when you take your drug test, they will put a tablet in the toilet that makes the water blue. This totally defeats this method. If there’s no tablet, then pee into the toilet and then put the urine from the toilet in your cup. You can also fill the sample cup about halfway with water and then fill the rest with your own urine. Pretty simple. Make sure that the urine is “yellow enough” or they might make you take the test again. The school has been known to keep kids in the bathroom for over an hour who ran out of urine, so be wise.
Method Two: Dilution via Drinking
Drinking lots of water dilutes your urine. If you drink tons of water the week leading up to your test but none the day of, it won’t do much for you. You have to be well-hydrated at the time of the test. A good way to check how hydrated you are if the colour of your urine. Clear urine indicates you have been drinking a lot of water. If you drink enough and it’s been long enough since you took the drugs in question, you’ll pass the test. Pretty simple.

How to pass: Breaking the test
If you’re really desperate (ie you will test positive for high levels of heroin or something along those lines), you can botch the test by putting some bleach in it. This will show up as an invalid test, but it might buy you some time.

How to Pass: General Tips
> It’s often best to combine several techniques to help you pass drug tests. For instance, dilution and niacin
> Eat well and exercise before your test. This will help your body clean itself out, especially with fat-solube drugs like weed
> Drink and drink lots. This can not be over-emphasized. If you have a test coming up be sure to drink lots and lots of water. This helps everything in your body run smoothly, which is good for you, and helps your body expel toxins and drugs. It also dilutes your urine so the drugs in it are less concentrated. If you feel like you’re getting sick from drinking too much then stop as this might be a sign you have had too much. It’s better to drink lots consistently than to binge. Use common sense.
> When peeing into the sample cup, make sure the urine in the sample cup comes from mid-stream. Never use the start or the end of your urine stream as your sample, as drugs tend to be concentrated in higher amounts there.
> In order to make your urine more yellow, take some vitamins (in accordance with their labels). B-vitamins are the ones that give it the most yellow colour, but all of them help.
> You can’t just put yellow food colouring in some water and call it good. The testing facility will notice that the pH is off and say the sample is bad. You will also be subject to an interesting array of questions from administrators.
> The thinner and healthier you are, the faster drugs will pass through your system. People with high metabolisms benefit when it comes to drug tests.
> As you use a drug more often, you become less and less likely to pass as it takes these drugs longer to get out of your system.
> Most of the flush/detox kits available out there don’t do anything except mess up your body chemistry. They can be dangerous, so just stay away from them.

Why publish our secrets?
because if they stay secrets, we’re fucked
Some people might read this and ask why we’re publishing this. After all, can’t the school read this and update their drug testing policies to defeat these measures? Not really. A lot of these things can’t be defeated unless the school moved up to hair tests which would never work, especially considering how costly those are.

One might ask, as Emmett Grogan demanded of Abbie Hoffman upon the publication of Steal This Book!, whether it has occurred to us that making all these secret methods public knowledge might hurry them into obsolescence. In limited cases, this might be true, though we’ve made an effort to slant the content so that it won’t be quickly outdated. When these methods become outdated.. well.. then.. we’ll have to come up with new methods! At any rate, our answer to this charge is that these skills and the struggle for which they are useful must both be extended to much broader circles, or else they are doomed to obsolescence anyway. The small group of people who already know this information is too small to make us all pass our drug tests. For massive change to be possible, everybody who has become a victim of drug testing policies must learn how to defeat them. In limited cases, yes, the powers that be will be able to use our advice to prepare themselves for our efforts to contest their control, but we hope that this drawback will be outweighed by the ways in which this work can help equip new generations to strike blows for freedom from unexpected directions and in unpredictable ways.

In short, why give away our secrets? Because if they stay secrets, we’re fucked. If you associate yourself with the struggle for a better world, consider how you can do your part to get these tools into unlikely hands. Talk without action only sets a precedent for more of the same; actions themselves can be eloquent, on the other hand, in ways that words rarely can.

All the best in all the beautiful, dangerous ventures you’re involved in already, friends. May your every dream come true and may you never fail a drug test again!

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