Went for 4 days to the southern canyon lands of Utah. Found an isolated camping spot and spent the first evening setting up camp site 30 feet from cliff edge. Beautiful blond cliffs with red layers below me, blue soaring skies above. Eating light first night.

Up at sunrise. Fruit, nuts and water in pack, didgeridoo over shoulder, and off on a hike to get my body present in the new local. I have always found that walking, covering ground, and then napping midday to be a useful scenario for getting present in the local land's energy.

Walked six+ miles down hill. Short break at around 2pm. Nap and didge playing in the crevices of the sandstone. Feeling more connected and open. The textures of the stone and grass and clouds are guide me into a more natural pace. Myedges are softening.

The six mile back up to the rim and my site was strong medicine. Arrived back at site for an exhausted nap and very light dinner. After dinner I wandered around and vibrated the lingering feelings of fear and loneliness. I have never taken the medicine alone in the wilderness. I feel strong in my intent to break through into another level of seeing tomorrow. no evidence of other people here.

Morning. Just tea at my small fire pit. The pinon/cedar smoke is delicious. I set up the tent for ease of access and napping. Refilled water containers. Then mixed up the henna soup for painting myself. Using the small mirror and a smooth stick I patiently draw the lines, circles and spirals I feel are appropriate on my hands and arms and face. Making the intention real.

By the time the henna has dried and is flaking off it is nearly noon. My skin hlds the designs lightly. The sun is hot but the breeze over the rim is nice and cool. It is time. I remove the medicine (dried mushrooms) from their bag. Line them up on the rug. Breathing deeply I take them one at a time. It is mid-morning to mid day. Although every time I do this it works... I always feel like nothing will happen this time. Weight unknown... a medium handful of stems and caps.

They taste musty-good. I chew then thoroughly, mixing with saliva, and letting the essence enter me first through the membranes under my tongue. Then laying down and breathing deeply. Vibrating the anticipation outward. Staying present.

Then the electric rushes begin to zing through my body and inner ear. I am seeing color tracers and auric rimming. Breathing it all in deeply. At this point the journey takes off and I feel the connection between that-which-is-looking-out-from-within-me and the surround. I move carefully through the desert rock pinon -scape. The silver-dried elder trees reach upward in wild patterns.

Laying in the shade of a wide cedar, I feel the ground shudder and am letting go deeper and deeper into the Earth's frequency. I ask for healing. I intend transcendence of ordinary. I listen deeply. The rock layers shimmer and vibrate. All seems as it really is -totally alive. I walk slowly on being as being.

Later I am laying in the tent, eyes closed, riding the energy washes. Just watching the land from the open door is deeply satisfying. I loose the thread of awareness-continuity here and find myself getting up to walk to find... something... something else. I keep looking to see the non-ordinary. Intending the miraculous.

Then I am laughing at myself. The spaces I see and feel are all familiar. I have been here many times while journeying sans-etheogens. I am pleased that I can get to this state in other ways... And without the buzzy mushy shroom distraction. I thank the ally(s) for the journey and the medicine. I am grateful to Earth, Sky and the shimmering life everywhere.

Later I feel both filled with connection and at the same time empty and quiet as the medicine runs its course. The sunset seems to take days to fade. I don't think about it, I don't analyze (ever notice that analyze is so anal?), I am just breathing being. Sleep comes easily and deeply.

Morning is spent expressing, releasing, and receiving. I intend to open my receiving to glean all that I can from this quest. I see selfishness and addiction to preoccupation in my living. I see that I keep myself so busy I have no space to receive omens, guidance and overview in life. I see I must pause to break the continuity of the ordinary much more often. I receive this medicine. I intend expanded reality. I want communion with my people and deep ongoing connection with Intent. I move with this on the cliff top. I move and vibrate until I feel all this circulating in my body.

Then its under the shade, on the blanket and letting go of limiting beliefs I have had. I change my reality and my path to integrate the seeing from yesterday and the morning. It is well.

Later I break camp and drive home, strong with the desire for this new life.

May the balance be restored.