"The White Witch" Script March 17, 2004 Kessel Mines continues to dig deeper into the corners of the Star Wars experience, uncovering some old gems like this previously unpublished screenplay from the Droids series. It is from the pilot episode, "The White Witch," the first part of the four-part Trigon One arc. Droids: The Adventures of R2-D2 and C-3PO "The Trigon One" Episode One: "The White Witch" Moral: A Friend in need is a Friend indeed. Written by Peter Sauder. ACT I Fade In To: SPACE Three A-wing fighters soar through space, near a small planet. They fly through a mess of floating debris: crates, plasti-cargo containers, bundles, etc. and continue out of sight. It looks like someone has dumped their cargo. Cross Dissolve To: EXTERIOR: PLANET (INGO) -- SALT FLATS -- DAY We pan along the desolate, crater-studded outback of the planet Ingo. The last few wisps of a salt storm blow over the barren terrain. More boxes and various containers of the jettisoned cargo are scattered about in the salt drifts. Some have been broken open on impact. All are quickly being eaten away by the incredibly corrosive salt. THREEPIO: (V.O.) Oh what a perilous chain of events! C-3PO sits half buried in a salt drift. He moves with some difficulty and begins to dig himself out, muttering all the time. THREEPIO: We're lost in a game of chance to a new master who turns out to be a smuggler... He gets awkwardly to his feet. THREEPIO: ...then we're tossed overboard with the stolen goods whilst he gets himself arrested... He glances around to get his bearings and for any sign of R2-D2. Threepio sees salt desert, debris scattering, wind blowing. THREEPIO: ...and now this wretched salt storm! He glances around urgently, and starts looking for R2-D2. THREEPIO: (calling) Artoo? Where are you? (exclaiming) Artoo?! (questioningly) Artoo?? He finds something in a mound of acid-salt beside him and holds it up to take a closer look. It looks like a piece of R2-D2, grossly corroded and eaten away. THREEPIO: (shocked, incredulous) R2-D2! Oh, no! What's left of the corroded metal crumbles to bits in Threepio's hands. THREEPIO: (continuing)...You've been eaten!! Consumed!! By this corrosive acid salt!! He is overcome by grief and looks beseechingly up to the heavens. THREEPIO: Farewell, Artoo... you were a miracle of modern technology... a... a true prince among droids... He flops himself down on a mound of salt, and buries his face in his hands. THREEPIO: ...a dear...dear friend. ARTOO: (weakly) ...brip-p-p... Threepio suddenly jumps up and looks down at the mound beneath him. THREEPIO: (incredulous) R2-D2?!?!?!?! R2-D2 pops up from the mound Threepio was just resting on, half buried in sand, he shakes his 'head'. ARTOO: Bwakk...schnorr...ripppp... THREEPIO: (indignant) 'Miracle of modern technology'? I said no such thing. With that, he turns on his heels and walks away. Artoo follows, a bit falteringly, showing the effects of the acid-salt. ARTOO: (weakly) Scree...neummmmmmm...spp... THREEPIO: 'Prince of the scrap pile' if you don't get moving! Threepio keeps moving, expecting Artoo to follow. He tries, but staggers and falls flat on his 'face'. ARTOO: (giving up) whrrrrr... (falls - clunk) ...snor...pop... Threepio hasn't noticed, and turns around to look at him. THREEPIO: Don't think you're just going to rust away and leave me out here alone! LATER AND MANY MILES LATER Threepio is slowly and arduously pushing the little droid along the salt desert. THREEPIO: (more to himself) Oh where is a master when you need one? ARTOO: ...beep...bip...rwww...(warning) THREEPIO: (confused) What landspeeder? Whoooo... Threepio falls to the ground as a landspeeder soars through, just missing their heads by a few inches. THREEPIO: (looking after the landspeeder) Oh! We're saved! DROIDS' P.O.V. The speeder shoots away. THREEPIO: (V.O.) It is a landspeeder! BACK TO SCENE THREEPIO: (beat; despondent) It was a landspeeder. They watch the speeder shoot away and don't notice the approach of another, until it is right beside them. Behind the controls sits Thall Joben, a friendly, but serious, seventeen year old native of Ingo. He is average height and build; his most distinctive features are his Mohawk hair cut and his flashing steel blue eyes. He is dressed in racing leathers. THALL: Where'd you come from? THREEPIO: (whispering to R2) Leave this to me! (to Thall) Allow me to introduce myself, sir... I am C-3PO, human-cyborg relations... Thall is flatly ignoring C-3PO, eyes riveted on Artoo. THREEPIO: (continuing) ...a most useful and dedi... THALL: (interrupting Threepio) (surprised) Hey! An R2 unit! ARTOO: (V.O.) (pathetic) ...wroooooo... Thall has leapt out of his speeder and is kneeling beside Artoo, examining him. ARTOO: (pathetic) woooo.. THREEPIO: (continuing, under Thall) ...a most useful and dedicated... THALL: (to Artoo) Easy! I'm just gonna take a look. The first speeder returns and pulls up. Thall's best friend, Jord Dusat is in the driver's seat. Jord is a few years older than Thall, taller and heavy set. He has a devil-may-care attitude about him. His broad smile and wide eyes spell mischief. Even so, his size would make one think twice about getting on the wrong side of Jord. He leans out to see Thall checking out Artoo. Threepio redirects his story to Jord, hoping he'll be a little more interested. THREEPIO: Ah, you sir, um, ah, allow me to intro... JORD: Well, blast my burners, an R2 unit... Just what we've been looking for! THREEPIO: I..I've been programmed to... Jord and Thall carry on their excited conversation, totally impartial to Threepio's waning efforts to draw some attention to himself. They both check out Artoo. JORD: What kind of shape's he in? THALL: Some circuit corrosion, a few dents... (pause) I can fix 'im! THREEPIO: I am in excellent shape... ARTOO: Brrrrrppppp!! Jord and Thall carry Artoo off and lift him into Thall's speeder. THREEPIO: (continuing convincingly) I speak millions of languages! It looks like they will leave Threepio there -- they still pay him no attention. THREEPIO: (getting frustrated) We so desperately need a master! THALL: (like a father) Take it easy, Threepio... Thall and Jord are leaning against Thall's speeder. They turn to each other, exchange a smile and then look back to Threepio. THALL: (continued) ...You've got one! JORD: (chiming in) Two! (beat) Welcome to the racing team of Thall Joben and Jord Dusat! THREEPIO: (relieved, with gratitude) Oh, thank you, siiiiooooooo... Threepio is yanked and tossed into Thall's speeder; legs sticking up in the air. Thall and Jord hop behind their controls and gun their engines. JORD (V.O.): Last one back to the shop is a two-toed swamp-sucker.... The speeders shoot off over the salt flats at a breakneck speed. THALL/JORD: Wahooooooo!! Wooooaaaaaa!! ANGLE: SPEEDERS -- IN BINOCULAR MATTE Someone is watching them from a distance. ANGLE: THE WATCHER A lone, helmeted figure watches from a semi-concealed position on a ridge. The binoculars hide her face from view. ANGLE: THE SPEEDERS -- IN BINOCULAR MATTE The speeders pass over the lip of a crater. Two gleaming metal spheres about the size of tennis balls glide into view above the lip of the crater and streak after the speeders. FEMALE WATCHER: (V.O.) Uh oh. Those two speeders just crossed over into the restricted zone! ANGLE: THE WATCHER The helmeted figure lowers her binoculars. FEMALE WATCHER: Those seeker probes will destroy them unless I help! EXTERIOR: SALT FLATS -- DAY The seeker probes glide along. ANGLE: THALL'S SPEEDER Threepio has almost managed to right himself in the seat behind Thall. He spots the spheres behind the speeder. THREEPIO: Master. What are those? THALL: I'm not hanging around to find out! BACK TO SCENE Thall and Jord's speeders roar by, followed by the two spheres. They bank sharply, each in opposite directions. The spheres separate as well, staying close on their tail. The boys cannot shake them no matter what they do. ANGLE: THALL'S SPEEDER Threepio is, again, in an awkward position. THREEPIO: (a little frightened) This is most uncomfortable! (more frightened) Sir! Oooohhhh! The speeder is heading for an outcrop of rock. Thall makes a steep bank. THEEPIO: (V.O.) (very frightened) Whhhaaaaaaa!!! The seeker probe continues straight ahead and explodes on impact with the outcrop, turning the rock into dust and rubble. ANGLE: THALL'S SPEEDER The speeder is jostled up and down. Threepio is bounced from the speeder to the ground below, and lands hard on his bottom. THREEPIO: Yeeoooowwwwww!! THALL: (V.O.) (panic reaction) Threepio! Another sphere floats up from another crater. It hovers, remaining directly on a collision course with Thall's speeder. THALL: (startled) Whoooaaa! At the last possible second, Thall swerves, just missing the sphere. Just at that moment, Jord's speeder scoots by, and this sphere joins the one that is already following him. ANGLE: JORD'S SPEEDER Jord looks over his shoulder and sees the two seeker probes gaining rapidly. JORD: Uuuuggggghhhhh: Wwhoo, I'd better bail out! He stands and gets ready to jump. ANGLE: THALL'S SPEEDER THALL: (urgently calling) JORD:!! ANGLE: JORD'S SPEEDER Jord bails out of his speeder just before the spheres make contact. As he does, his 'life-vest' instantly inflates to protect him from the fall. He lands roughly, but his 'life-vest' absorbs the impact. Jord is unhurt. JORD: Whoooooaaaaa: Whooooo! ANGLE: THALL'S SPEEDER The speeder is racing towards Jord. Thall is very concerned. THALL: I'm coming, buddy! THREEPIO: (V.O.) (calling) Master...HELP!! BACK TO SCENE Threepio runs into the foreground, frantically waving after Thall's speeding ship, trying to attract their attention. THREEPIO: (calling) I'm over here!!! Threepio has yet to realize that a guardian droid has appeared behind him. THREEPIO: (disappointed) If anyone cares. Threepio absently looks behind him, and suddenly jumps. ANGLE: THE WATCHER She watches, adjusting a sort of sawed-off bazooka type weapon on her shoulder. BACK TO SCENE The guardian droid advances on Threepio, who is backing off. THREEPIO: (voice cracking) Stay back!...You...you...greasebucket!! Not knowing what else to do, he picks up a small rock at his feet. Its sphere ports snap open; it readies to fire! ANGLE: THE WATCHER She adjusts the focus on the weapon, and loads it. BACK TO SCENE Threepio throws the small rock awkwardly at the guardian droid. THREEPIO: I'm warning you!! ANGLE: THE WATCHER The weapon fires. BACK TO SCENE A short second after Threepio's little rock hits the droid, it explodes into tiny fragments. THREEPIO: (stunned reaction) Oh, my goodness! I did that?!?!! ANGLE: THE WATCHER The watcher lifts the scope from the weapon, and pulls down the scarf that has been hiding her face. We see that the 'Watcher' is a teenage girl. BACK TO SCENE Threepio is standing, in awe of what he has just done, looking at the burning rubble. THREEPIO: Oh, I do hope its owner's not around! Thall's speeder arrives and Jord jumps out when it comes to a halt. JORD: (in admiration) What an arm, Threepio! THREEPIO: (modest) Oh, it was nothing. Eh, but it seems, Sir, that someone is trying very hard to ensure their privacy in this area. (looking around) THALL: Then let's go. THREEPIO: (agreeing) A very wise suggestion, sir. Threepio and Jord hop aboard Thall's speeder and it heads off into the distance. Pull back to reveal ... That we are watching it on a large monitor inside Tig Fromm's 'office' in the crater.' INTERIOR: TIG FROMM'S OFFICE The room is large, clean and very, very hi-tech -- polished chrome and dramatic translucent lighting. An over-abundance of computerized control panels, data processors, monitors, and other electronic goodies clutter the otherwise sterile interior. Tig's office looks new, unused. Beneath the large monitor, sits a raised desk, completely surrounded by computerized hardware control panels. Tig Fromm, the son of the notorious criminal gang leader, Sise Fromm, sits on his chair behind the desk. Vlix, Tig's bodyguard/henchman/babysitter stands to one side of the desk, concentrating on adjusting his shirt cuffs. Both Vlix and Tig are Annoo-Dats, a species of aliens from the nearby planet, Annoo. They are man-sized, reptilian humanoids with large, heavy-lidded eyes, very flat noses and large spots on their faces that become brighter in color as their anger flares. Tig is short, lean and looks out of place behind the overly large desk. His small, delicate features telegraph a somewhat arrogant, haughty disposition, but right now, they tell us that Tig Fromm is about to have a temper tantrum. He struggles to control himself. Vlix, on the other hand, is a monster of Annoo-Dat; big and formidable. He has an "I could care less" attitude about him, not caring for Tig or his "hi-tech" mentality most of the time. But Vlix has been entrusted to watch over the boy on behalf of his true master, Sise. A job is a job. No matter what happens, Vlix always seems preoccupied with his clothes and his appearance. Everything must always be in place with Vlix. Vlix casually glances to the departing speeder on the screen overhead, then addresses his shirt cuffs as he adjusts them. VLIX: (off-handed) They got away, Tiggy. Tig manages, with some effort, to control his temper. TIG: (with some difficulty) Don't...call...me...'Tiggy'! VLIX: Shall I call Sise and tell him the project is off? TIG: No need to concern my father. The project will continue as planned. Tig turns his attention to the screen in front of him. A series of 'hieroglyphics' flash on the screen. TIG: (continuing) Once the Trigon One is completed, it will be impossible for anyone to withstand its power! VLIX: But if those two joy riders leak one word... An image solidifies on the monitor -- we see another chamber in the crater. It is large, about the size of an aircraft hangar. In the center sits the almost completed Trigon One -- a combination. starship, submarine and satellite. It is immense, bristling with weaponry. It is formidable, to say the least. VLIX: (continuing) ...about our secret base, the other gangs will try to... TIG: (interrupting Vlix) ...the other gangs won't know anything until we move on them! (looking back at monitor) Hmmmm. I'll take care of those two meddlers! EXTERIOR: SPEEDER TRACK/TOWN -- DUSK Long establishing shot of the town and the empty speeder track. Dissolve To: EXTERIOR: SPEEDER TRACK -- THE 'SHOP' -- DUSK The little building is a makeshift affair with large doors in front. INTERIOR: SHOP Thall's speeder sits beside another that is covered with a tarpaulin. Jord is hanging over a fender, adjusting something in the engine compartment. Threepio lies under Thall's speeder on a motorized mechanic's creeper. Artoo is suspended from a sort of chain-fall, while Thall brazes him with a small laser torch. The rest of the room (what little there is) is cluttered with mechanic's tools, parts, etc. A few small trophies gather dust on a shelf. Jord's head pops into view, but continues to work with his arms buried inside the engine compartment. JORD: (sighs) I'm going to miss her. That speeder was almost a part of me, you know what I mean? THALL: You're not comparing that old rust bucket to the Witch! ANGLE ON THREEPIO His lower body is sticking out from under the car. We hear the splat of oil squirting on his face. He slides out. JORD: Nothing compares to the Witch! BACK TO SCENE Jord pulls himself out of the engine compartment and replaces the cover of the speeder. Threepio sits up, wiping his blackened face with a rag. THREEPIO: (curious) Excuse me, sir, the Witch? JORD: Let me introduce you... Jord leaps over Thall's speeder and proudly whips the tarp off the other speeder, revealing their super-speeder, the White Witch. JORD: ...Artoo, Threepio, meet the White Witch. Thall spent three years working this baby, right down to the last bolt. It is a beast of a speed machine. Just looking at it knocks Threepio's equilibrium off. Thall, pushing Artoo, comes over. THALL: C'mon, Jord. I couldn't have done it without you. JORD: Ahhh...Thall's the brains behind her... Uh, I just do the heavy work. A wild gleam in Thall's eye. THALL: (knowingly) ...and drive! A giant mischievous grin spreads across Jord's face... the same wild gleam sparkles in his eyes. We can see from this expression that Jord lives to race. JORD: (uncontained exuberance) YOU BET! We're gonna blow 'em right off the track!! Thall lowers Artoo to the floor and reaches to turn the magnets on the lift off. Artoo beetles out. THALL: Yeah, but first we gotta get her off the planet to the speeder races. ARTOO: (thankful) Bwheet... heep! Jord wraps his arm around Threepio, a little too tightly, and draws Artoo in close. JORD: Well, we've got a whole team to figure that one out! Right? ARTOO: Snoooorrrrr...ip!...ip! (agreeing heartily) Dissolve To: EXTERIOR: THE SHOP -- TWILIGHT The moon is out -- it is a bright night. Pan to shop. Jord is standing by the door of the shop. Thall is getting ready to leave. He is at the controls of his speeder Artoo and Threepio are stuffed in the back. THALL: We'll test out Artoo with the Witch in the morning. Jord waves them off. JORD: See ya in town. Thall's speeder scoots off. Someone watches from the shadows across the yard as Thall's speeder moves out. We see it is the girl from the salt flats. Jord returns into the shop. The girl (Kea) makes as though to approach, then stops and watches as a pair of sleek land cruisers glide silently into shot. KEA: What?? INSERT SHOT Another land cruiser follows close on Thall's tail. INTERIOR: SHOP Jord is busily cleaning up the tools. He hears a 'clank' behind him and he turns toward camera. JORD: (absently) Sorry, we're closed... (surprised reaction) WHA?!?:? JORD'S P.O.V.: A dark, menacing mannequin droid moves ominously toward him. Fade to Black EXTERIOR: TOWN -- NIGHT (SHORT TIME LATER) Establishing shot. EXTERIOR: ALLEY The land cruiser that followed Thall's speeder into town slowly moves across the mouth of the alley, searching with a search light at the front. It continues past, out of sight. THREEPIO: (hushed whisper) You were right sir... Pull back to reveal Thall and Threepio leaning against small bit of wall, hiding. THREEPIO: (continuing) ...they were following us. They must be using I.R. sensors! THALL: (hushed urgency) We have to warn Jord! Let's go! Threepio exits after Thall. EXTERIOR: THE SHOP -- NIGHT The area around the building is shrouded in darkness. Nothing moves in the deathly stillness. Suddenly... ARTOO: (V.O.) ...brrrrrr.... THREEPIO: (V.O.) (hushed whisper, scolding) Quiet, Artoo! SFX: Loud crashes, bang, boom, smash, twanggg!! THREEPIO: (V.O.) Woooooaaaaa!! Threepio has fallen into a jumble of junk, wires and cables, small speeder parts, etc. He tries to extricate himself from the junk. His legs are flailing wildly in the air. Thall and Artoo glance over and move towards the darkened shop doors. THREEPIO: (frustrated struggling) Ooohhhhh!!... As Threepio tries to extricate himself from the junk, he sets up an even greater disturbance. INTERIOR: SHOP Thall stands at the doorway and turns on the lights. EXTERIOR: SHOP Threepio manages to stagger up, dragging half the junk with him, wrapped around his body. THREEPIO: Master Thall! Wait for me... INTERIOR: SHOP Threepio enters and stops dead. THREEPIO: (surprised) Oh my goodness!!.... THREEPIO'S P.O.V. The shop has been ransacked. Tools have been thrown around, work benches overturned, etc. Artoo and Thall are looking around. ARTOO: (bleeps) THALL: (calling, urgent concern) Jord! Jord! KEA: (V.O.) (calm, a touch frightened) You're too late. Thall whips around to react toward the sound of the voice. The girl from the salt flats, Kea, stands, leaning in the doorway behind Threepio. Threepio reacts around, surprised and startled, falls backwards, tripping in his wires and falling, landing with a familiar crash. THREEPIO: Wooooaaaaa! KEA: A couple of 'muscle droids' took him away. THALL: (demanding, suspicious) Hey, who are you?!? Kea moves into the room. KEA: (simply) Kea, Kea Moll... We now see that Threepio has landed in the same silly sitting position in a pile of trash. He struggles unsuccessfully to extricate himself from it. Kea moves over and helps him out as she continues her speech. KEA: (V.O.) ...my star runner grounded on the salt flats... engine trouble... She pulls Threepio to his feet. KEA: (continuing) ...I need a mechanic. Saw you racing... thought maybe you could help me! She pulls the pail off of Threepio's head. THREEPIO: Oh... thank you, I'm most grateful. KEA: (somber; to Thall) But... I see you've got your own problems. Thall looks hard at Kea, no longer suspicious, but silent. He nods affirmative. EXTERIOR: THE SHOP NIGHT It is black, heavily shadowed. Nothing moves, but we feel like something is there, lurking in the shadows -- watching. Suddenly we notice it -- Thall's old speeder rocks just a little, almost unnoticeably. Something is out here!! ARTOO: (V.O.) (warning) REEEEEEE!!! INTERIOR: SHOP THREEPIO: (urgently) Master Thall, Artoo's sensors detect movement... (pause - looks at door) ...outside! Thall rushes to the doorway.. . KEA: (alarmed) They're back! ...and peers outside. Kea moves to his side. THALL/KEA'S P.O.V. They scan the darkened yard. Nothing moves. BACK TO SCENE Threepio has joined them at the doorway. THALL: I'll get the speeder. THREEPIO: (concern) B-But Master...! Too late, Thall disappears out the doorway. KEA/DROIDS' P.O.V. Thall quickly moves across the yard toward his speeder. BACK TO SCENE THREEPIO: (to Artoo) Just as I suspected, Artoo! There's nothing out there! ARTOO: (to Threepio) ...bbrrrrreeeee... (suddenly alarmed - looking at yard) REE-(WHISTLE)-POP! Kea and Threepio look out towards the speeder. KEA/THREEPIO: Gasp! KEA/DROIDS' P.O.V Several figures appear, stepping out from behind power sheds. KEA: Oh, no! EXTERIOR: SHOP / YARD -- NIGHT The mannequin droids walk slowly, menacingly, closer to Thall's speeder. Thall is trying to start up his speeder. THALL: (frustrated) Come on! He looks around and sees the dark figures moving closer to him. THALL: (urgent) C'MON! Aw, what's wrong! (he sees the broken hose) Oh, no! ANGLE: ON THREEPIO Standing in the doorway, looking out. THREEPIO: (alarmed) Sabotage!! Oh, no!!.... THREEPIO'S P.O.V. Of Thall, standing up in the cockpit, holding a metal bar, ready to make a stand as the dark figures move in still closer. THREEPIO: (V.O.) (continuing) Our Master is trapped!!! EXTERIOR: SHOP / YARD -- NIGHT Medium shot of Thall, looking around at the dark mannequin droids. ARTOO: (V.O.) (alarm) ...rippp-it...nworrr...REEEEKKKKK!! Fade to Black End of Act I ACT II Fade Into: EXTERIOR: SHOP / YARD -- NIGHT Two mannequin droids move in on Thall from the right and three from the left. They are slowly closing in on him. Close shot of Thall holding a weapon and in position to fight them off. THALL: Don't come any closer! THREEPIO: Oh! Ah! Oh! Master Thall! Cut to Threepio, Artoo and Kea standing in the shop doorway. THREEPIO: Artoo! Do something! Quick! KEA: Come on, Artoo!. Kea and Artoo go into the shop. THREEPIO: I wish I had another rock! Cut to Thall standing on the speeder with the mannequin droids moving in on him. Move in to a close up of Thall and the droids. They hear a noise coming from the shop. Thall grunts. Cut to exterior shot of shop and bay doors. The White Witch comes smashing through the doors. It comes toward the camera then turns left, knocking over a few droids. It turns and knocks over the remaining droids. Close shot of Kea driving the White Witch. KEA: Thall!! Cut to Thall standing on the speeder. The White Witch passes in front of him, and then out of the frame. The droids are rocking on their backs, unable to get up. Thall runs to the White Witch and jumps in. THALL: Let's go!! Back shot of the white witch as it takes off. THREEPIO: ooooooohhhhhhh... The White Witch disappears on the horizon. The camera pans over to the droids, still rocking on their backs. Tig and Vlix step out from the shadows. VLIX: Ha, ha ha ha! Lookit 'em. They look like beached Wabaas! While he speaks he examines his nails, fixes his tie etc. Meanwhile, Tig is frantically working his little control unit, trying to get the droids to respond. VLIX: For what they cost you to build, I coulda' got a few of the old boys together. That's the way old Sise woulda' done it. TIG: If it's not a droid I don't trust it... He keeps working the control unit. TIG: (cont. angry) ...and I'm not my father, I'm me!! VLIX: Maybe so Tiggy, but you would have had both those troublemakers instead of just one. TIG: (exclaims) Don't call me Tiggy! Cut to shot of droids still trying to get up. TIG: Word can't leak to the other gangs about my secret operations base, or the Trigon One! VLIX: If it does... you, me and your father won't be worth a pinch of moon dust. The camera holds on Vlix's face. Fade Out. EXTERIOR: SALT FLATS -- THE NEXT DAY Camera pans right. Thall, Kea and Threepio peek over a ridge. Thall scans the area in front of him with Kea's binoculars. ANGLE: BINOCULAR MATTE through binoculars, as one of the sphere-throwing Guardian Droids patrols the salt flats. As we watch, camouflaged doors in the side of the crater open to let it in. KEA: (V.O.) That's Tig Fromm's secret base. The droid enters through doors. KEA: (V.O., continuing) They're probably holding Jord in there. THALL: (V.O.) If he is, Artoo will find out where. BACK TO SCENE THREEPIO: If you don't mind me asking sir, how do you plan to get Artoo out of there? Close up on Thall as he hands the binoculars to Kea. THALL: Same way I got him in -- we'll use a decoy. THREEPIO: I was afraid you'd say that. INTERIOR: CRATER SMALL COMPUTER UTILITY ROOM A number of maps appear on the monitor. The camera backs up and we see Artoo who is hooked up to the computer port monitor. He turns to look at the door and then back. Cut to Artoo's arm coming out of the port. He turns and leaves. Pan to follow Artoo across the room. As Artoo reaches the door it opens. ARTOO: (beep whistle) EXTERIOR: SALT FLATS -- THE NEXT DAY Cut to Thall in the White Witch. Artoo lets Thall know he's in place. THALL: O.K. Artoo's in place. Get ready! Cut to White Witch with Thall, Kea and Threepio all behind rock. Pan slowly to the right to reveal big crater. INTERIOR: GUARDIAN DROID DISPATCH AREA Cut to inside the guardian droid room. Shot of warning lights and screen showing trespasser. V.O.: Intruder alert! Dispatch guardian droid. A guardian droid reacts to warning and moves toward the door. Shot of droid going up the ramp. Screen up above still shows White Witch approaching. Cut to Artoo peeking around the corner. He watches the guardian droid go up the ramp and out the door. He makes some noises and follows. EXTERIOR: SALT FLATS -- DAY The guardian droid and Artoo are right outside. Close up of the guardian droid spinning around as it hears a noise. Cut to shot of White Witch speeding toward the camera. We follow it as it speeds into the guardian and cuts its head off. Cut to Artoo as he watches the droids head fall to the ground. ARTOO: Reep-a-root-roop ... Close up of Artoo jumping up and down and whistling as he hears the speeder approaching. Wipe to: Top of crater. The camera pans down. We focus on a large opening in the caves. The White Witch is parked outside. Kea sits in the seat; Artoo in his pod. Threepio and Thall stand on either side. They watch the small monitor on the control panel as Artoo replays what he has siphoned and stored in his memory banks. THALL: So these caves should lead us right to the service tubes. ARTOO: Workie-ip (affirmative) The camera moves in on Kea and Thall watching the monitor. THALL: Ha Haa... good work Artoo... looks like you got it all. ANGLE ON: MONITOR A close up of the screen. THALL: (V.O.) Hey, hold it right there. KEA: (V.O.) Looks like a detention area all right. BACK TO SCENE KEA: (pointing at screen) That indicator must be Jord. THALL: Threepio, what are the chances of getting the Witch through the service tubes, picking up Jord, and getting back without being detected? Threepio looks pensive. THREEPIO: I'm afraid about 7 hundred thousand to one sir. THALL: Ah...could be worse. KEA: Not much worse. INTERIOR: TIG FROMM'S OFFICE A long shot of Jord and Vlix in Tig's office. Cut to a medium shot of Jord and Vlix standing in front of Tig's desk. JORD: Nice suit. VLIX: Have a seat! As he says this, he pushes Jord into a chair. JORD: Oh! Nice seat. Jord glances around at the multitude of buttons and controls around Tig's desk. JORD: So, ah (sniffs), you're really into electronics, eh? VLIX: Not me... Mr. Fromm. As he says this, a shadow falls on his face. A close up of Jord as he gasps and we see a door open and a blinding light come out. Tig comes gliding out in an elaborate throne/office chair. JORD: Sise Fromm... the gang leader? A close up of Tig while Vlix chuckles. TIG: (indignant) I am Tig Fromm: I am of the new ways. Technology is the key to the power of the new Fromm gang, not ancient blood ties and old world methods. Those are the ways of my father, Sise. JORD: You're not Sise? Boy, that's a relief! Jord relaxes and puts his feet up on Tig's desk. JORD: (continuing) I've heard stories about your dad... kidnapping, extortion, blaster running. Are they all true? Tig pushes a button on the control box of his chair. TIG: Be careful, Mr. Dusat! I am an ambitious man... A monitor pops out of the desk knocking Jord backwards so that he lands draped across the chair he had been sitting on. He is facing Tig. TIG: ... ambitious men can be dangerous. JORD: Just trying to be friendly. TIG: I don't want your friendship. I just want your silence! JORD: (accomodating) Hey just tell me what I'm not supposed to know and you got it. (smiling) TIG: You know very little, only about this secret base. But even that information in the hands of Jabba, Arnat or one of the other gang leaders could be very harmful to my plans. JORD: (trying to be funny) You sound like you're trying to take over the other gangs or something.. heh heh. Tig almost falls off his chair and glares daggers at Vlix. TIG: Wha? VLIX: I didn't say nothin'!! JORD: I was only kidding... a joke... (sick) ha... ha... TIG: You make too many jokes, Mr. Dusat! But yes, that's exactly what I plan to do! But as for you... VLIX: You want me to rearrange his molecules? TIG: No need. He's being transported to my father's stronghold on Annoo. JORD: Lookit, if you don't let me outta' here I got friends that'll come in and bust me out... ( he leaps over the couch toward Tig) ...and then you'll be sorry. Vlix shoves Jord down on the couch. We hear Jord ooohing and aaahing as he lands hard. VLIX: Show me a droid that can do that! Dissolve To: INTERIOR: CRATER -- SERVICE TUBES -- ENTRANCE Thall, Kea, Threepio and Artoo have reached the door to the service tubes. It is a solid metal door. KEA: Can't go any further... any ideas, Thall? Thall reaches into the White Witch. THALL: I did some repair work for a stranger a long time ago... (he pulls out an object) ...he never came back to pick up his speeder. As he says this, he turns on this lightsaber. He watches the blade grow and looks at the door. THALL: This was in it. THREEPIO: (exclaims) My word! A lightsaber. THALL: This should do the trick... (he waves the lighsaber) ..stand back. With that, Thall slices through the heavy door with the glowing blade. The camera is inside the tunnel, facing Thall, Threepio and the rest. The camera changes to Kea and Thall. KEA: Handy little gadget. THALL: (lightsaber retracts) Now, according to Artoo, there's a control station up ahead. (he jumps into the White Witch) Let's go!!! Thall and Artoo take off in the White Witch. We see Kea in the left of the screen. She watches them take off. KEA: Good luck you two. INTERIOR: VENT SERVICE CONTROL ROOM This room is reminiscent of an old time boiler room. Kea and Threepio are standing in front of and watching the monitor. THALL: (VO) Monitor my position, switch the automatic tube services to manual and redirect the traffic out of my path. THREEPIO: Yes, sir. KEA: (anxiously) I hope they can do it. She notices something wrong. KEA: What's that?!? THREEPIO: A refuse cylinder. We have to redirect it. But to where? Kea redirects the cylinder, and the monitor shows it being redirected. KEA: Tube four. THALL: (VO) Good work, Threepio! KEA: They're heading into a heavy loading area. THREEPIO: Careful, sir! INTERIOR: CRATER -- SERVICE TUBES -- WHITE WITCH The speeder races down a tunnel. THREEPIO: (VO) You're into a bank of elevator bays. The White Witch nearly misses an elevator going up. Cut to Thall looking back at the elevator. THALL: Yeah... so I see! (he looks straight ahead) INTERIOR: VENT SERVICE CONTROL ROOM The camera starts on the screen monitor. THREEPIO: Ready sir. KEA: Easy... easy... The camera is on their hands as they direct all the other traffic with the levers. THREEPIO: Oh... this is all so new to me. The camera cuts back to the monitor. We see the White Witch in relation to all the other traffic. THREEPIO: Computer controls are Artoo's department. As Threepio speaks, Kea turns around and gasps. She taps Threepio on the shoulder. KEA: (singing) Threepiooooo.... Threepio turns and we have a close up of him. The camera pulls back revealing a boiler room droid. THREEPIO: We are the maintenance crew. The automatic service systems are malfunctioning. BOILER DROID: Snick-beep-driot-nifdt! THREEPIO: What do you mean we're not the maintenance crew? As the boiler droid speaks he points to himself. BOILER DROID: Snork...nuffle... blopt... THREEPIO: Ohhh... you're the maintenance crew! Well... that would make us... security. BOILER DROID: (confused, scratching his head) Vat.. veee... dooo... snavy? The camera is on all three and we hear threatening music in the background. THREEPIO: Yes it does! And that means someone sabotaged these systems. Why weren't you at your post?! As Threepio finishes speaking, we see the boiler room door open and one of Tig Fromm's Strong Arm Droids (S.A.) move into the room. Kea moves away as S.A. Droid moves over to Threepio and boiler droid. Boiler droid is still trying to think up excuses. S.A. DROID: (threatening) Eei...yeeachh!! THREEPIO: (pointing at S.A. Droid) Ahh... there's the culprit! BOILER DROID: (as he moves away) Ahaaa...sheeee..ne...mob..bb! THREEPIO: Not the alarm!!! Threepio tries to stop the boiler droid and the droid turns on him. We see Threepio put his arms up in order to protect himself. THREEPIO: Stay back!! The camera switches back to Kea and the S.A. Droid. She has jumped on his back and is trying to prevent him from moving. KEA: Get down... you flyin'... As she says this, the droid throws her across the room. She screams and then we see Threepio with the boiler droid. He is attempting to keep boiler away from the alarm. THREEPIO: You'll force me to do something raaaaaassshhh.... As he says this, the boiler droid charges at him. Threepio ducks and the boiler droid goes charging into the Strong Arm Adroid. They smash and are blown to bits. KEA: Nice footwork, Threepio. THREEPIO: Well... when you've traveled around the galaxy as much as I have. You know I once used a rock to demolish a particular.... The camera cuts to the speaker on the monitor screen. THALL: (VO) Threepio!! Threepio. Kea and Threepio have forgotten all about Thall in the heat of their own battle. THREEPIO: (shocked) The master! THALL: (VO) The gates are closing!! THREEPIO: Who's watching the controls?! Kea rushes towards the controls and starts pushing various buttons. KEA: The controls!!! Nothing's happening! The camera cuts to Kea. KEA: (panicked) The gates must have an override system. INTERIOR: CRATER -- SERVICE TUBES -- WHITE WITCH THALL: Open them Threepio! Open them!!! THREEPIO: (V.O) We can't! INTERIOR: VENT SERVICE CONTROL ROOM Threepio and Kea look at each other. THREEPIO: They're going to crash!!! Fade to Black End of ACT II ACT III Fade in to: INTERIOR: CRATER -- SERVICE TUBES WHITE WITCH Thall and Artoo head straight for the metal gates at full speed. A crash is unavoidable. THALL: Hurry Threepio!! Hurry! INTERIOR: VENT SERVICE CONTROL ROOM Kea and Threepio cannot use the controls to open the gate. THREEPIO: Oh... nothing works. With that, he gives up and kicks the control station. THREEPIO: Ohhhhhh.... The control panel sparks and they back away. KEA: Threepio!! Threepio keeps backing up and continues to moan. INTERIOR: CRATER -- SERVICE TUBES WHITE WITCH The doors of the gate continue to close but at the last possible second they open and the White Witch goes safely through. THALL: We made it!!! INTERIOR: VENT SERVICE CONTROL ROOM Threepio is still backing away. The machine continues to spark. THREEPIO: Ohhh... ahhh!!! INTERIOR: CRATER -- SERVICE TUBES WHITE WITCH The White Witch passes another doorway in the tubes. This door is opening and closing and out of control. INTERIOR: CRATER CONTROL ROOM KEA: (going towards Threepio) Threepio... Threepio say something. The camera is on Threepio. His eyes are spinning all around. He cannot focus. THREEPIO: Artoo... You look lovely! Threepio's P.O.V as we see three images of Kea. He is still unable to focus. KEA: Oh, Threepio... are you all right? THREEPIO: Oh... I'm not quite sure... KEA: Look!!! On the control monitor screen, we see the schematic detention area. The 'blip' symbolizes Jord being moved out of the detention area. KEA: Thall, they're moving Jord. Hurry! INTERIOR: CRATER -- SERVICE TUBES WHITE WITCH The White Witch speeds through the tunnels. The camera is on Thall. KEA: (V.O.) Up the elevator tube... quick!!! THALL: Ah..this won't be easy.. We pan right as the Witch exits through an elevator shaft. INTERIOR: HALLWAY -- ELEVATORS. Camera pans right and we see Jord and his two Strong Arm Droid escorts, waiting outside an elevator door. His hands are bound. INTERIOR: CRATER -- SERVICE TUBES WHITE WITCH THALL: An elevator!!! Thall's POV as the elevator comes rushing down at them. The camera cuts to Artoo as he sounds a warning and spins around. INTERIOR: HALLWAY -- ELEVATORS. We see the Witch crash through one of the elevator doors. JORD: Yahooo... (to S.A. Droids) Ah... thanks guys (to droids) but I've got a ride. Before the droids can react, Jord pushes out his large stomach and 'belly thumps' the one into the other. Both fall over and into the open elevator. He then bangs the elevator control with his head. The doors close and the elevator starts down. He turns to Thall, grinning. He runs to the white Witch and Thall activates his lightsaber. JORD: Hey... how's the Witch handle? THALL: (laughing) Don't you ever think of anything but racing? JORD: Wha?... No.... As they speak, Thall raises the lightsaber and when Jord turns around he cuts the bonds around Jord's wrists. The White Witch takes off through the hallway. They are being fired at by the laser pods on the walls. The Witch maneuvers its way through. JORD: Whoo! Faster Thall!!! INTERIOR: TIG'S OFFICE Tig and Vlix are watching the Witch on their screen. TIG: Vlix! They're escaping! Quick! We'll cut them off in sub-section five. Hurry! Vlix leans over the microphone. VLIX: Attention all units... INTERIOR: HALLWAY -- ELEVATORS Cut to Strong Arm Droids exiting from elevators and reacting to the warning command. VLIX: (V.O.) ...infiltrators in sub-section five. S.A.DROID: (commanding) NWUKKK. . KRR. WRRREE! INTERIOR: VENT SERVICE CONTROL ROOM We see Kea and Threepio standing in front of the control monitor. VLIX: (V.O. cont.) All units to sub-section five! KEA: They're setting up an ambush. THREEPIO: Oh dear! He looks at the control panel and sees a microphone. He picks it up. THREEPIO: Perhaps... Threepio speeks into the microphone. INTERIOR: HALLWAY -- ELEVATORS THREEPIO: (V.O.) All units to sub-section six. We see S.A. Droids moving through the hallway. When they hear Threepio's voice they do an about face and head toward section six. THREEPIO: (V.O.) Repeat! Sub-section six. As S.A. Droids head in the other direction, the Witch comes speeding at them and crashes through them. It continues down the hallway still avoiding the firing from the laser pods. INTERIOR: TIG'S OFFICE Tig is really raving now. TIG: Shut down the power to those laser pods before they destroy everything! Activate the droid cruisers! Seal off the exits! Tig is frantically pushing buttons on his control panel and looking at his large screen. TIG: If they do manage to get outside, my droid cruisers will be waiting! VLIX: As soon as your cruisers stick their noses outside, your sentry droids will blow them to bits! TIG: (shocked realization) The sentry droids! The thermal spheres! Shut down power to the sentries.. hurry! Vlix shuts down the power. VLIX: (under his breath) Ahhh. This is what happens when you send a droid to do a man's job! INTERIOR: HALLWAY. Thall and Jord continue on. The laser fire stops. INTERIOR: VENT SERVICE CONTROL ROOM Threepio and Kea watch the monitor. THREEPIO: They're almost here. KEA: We'll don't just stand there...let's get going. Both exit left. When they get to the door, two S.A. Droids appear. They both exclaim. Threepio puts his hands on Kea's shoulders from behind. They pretend that Threepio is capturing Kea. THREEPIO: I've got this one. The others are on their way (pointing) out there. Hurry! The S.A. Droids make an exit through an open door. KEA: Quick thinking, Threepio. Suddenly there is a collision and pieces of the S.A. Droids come back through open doors. The speeder whizzes by. Threepio and Kea run into the hall looking after the Witch. THREEPIO: Master Thall.. it;s us.. come baaaack. INTERIOR: HALLWAY The Witch comes back in reverse. It comes to a stop. JORD: Which way Threepio? ARTOO: Bleep..blurt.. (alarm) Kea gets into the Witch. THREEPIO: Artoo says there's a way out in there (pointing) Hurry, Master! Hurry!! The speeder glides off into a chamber on the left. Threepio stands there for a beat, then realizes he's been left alone and runs after them. THREEPIO: Wait for me!!! INTERIOR: GUARDIAN DROID DISPATCH AREA. A close up of Threepio as he runs into guardian droid dispatch area. THREEPIO: Whaaaah! THALL: (V.O.) It's safe Threepio, the sentry droids have been deactivated. THREEPIO: (walking into room) If you say so, sir. Threepio walks over to Thall as he attempts to work the ramp controls. THALL: The ramp controls still function. The ramp door opens revealing six armed droid cruisers. THALL: CRUISERS!!! EXTERIOR: SALT FLATS -- DAY One of the cruisers fires. Threepio and Thall exclaim and run under ramp for protection. THALL: Jord... the Witch!! The Witch and the rest go under the ramp as well. Shots are being fired. ARTOO: Nereeep. THREEPIO: We're trapped! KEA: They were waiting for us. That's why the droids' power's been cut. JORD: Now what?! THALL: If we can reactivate the Sentry Droids, they'll destroy the cruisers with their spheres! ARTOO: Bleep... blurt whoop... THREEPIO: There's an emergency override control out there, sir. JORD: So override, Theepio! Override!! Close up on Threepio pointing at himself. THREEPIO: Me sir? Oh if I must. As he says this he darts out into the line of fire from the droids. He dodges laser blasts and runs around a corner to safety. He instantly spots what he's looking for. THREEPIO: Ah, the override controls. He tries to open the plastic cover on the override controls but cannot. THREEPIO: Oh, no... yoo... Cut to close up of laser pod on the wall. Camera pulls back as Threepio reacts to the sound of it moving. THREEPIO: Oh, I'm just not suited for this kind of work. Why did I ever...? Threepio makes eye contact with the laser. As he moves sideways the laser pod follows. He moves back in front of the override control. THREEPIO: I must be out of my mental capacities. With that, Threepio puts his thumbs to the side of his head and wiggles his fingers at the pod, taunting it. THREEPIO: Nyaaa.. nyaaa.. Threepio ducks as the pod fires. The blast misses him and hits the override machine. He surveys the machine (or what's left) and pushes a remaining button. THREEPIO: This should do it!! INTERIOR: GUARDIAN DROID DISPATCH AREA. Guardian droids move to attack droid cruisers. They move up the ramp toward the salt flats outside. We see one get hit and blow up. EXTERIOR: SALT FLATS -- DAY THALL: Threepio did it! They're activated! KEA: Move out! The Witch flies out from under the ramp . Firing continues and the Witch dodges laser fire. Threepio rushes in from under camera. THREEPIO: OOOhhhhhh... THALL: Climb on! THREEPIO: Oh Master. Whoooaaa... Threepio grabs hold of the Witch as it flies up the ramp between the guardian droids. EXT. CRATER SALT FLATS. The White Witch makes it through the main battleground of the Guardian droids and the Droid Cruisers. Lasers are firing and droids are being blown up everywhere. Close up on Thall as Artoo gives a warning 'feee...' They both look behind the Witch and see some spheres heading right toward them. JORD: Slide her, Thall!! KEA: Over there! The Witch banks around a corner and loses the spheres. They roar through the explosion cloud. JORD: Nice moves little buddy! KEA: Are we through yet? THALL: Ahhh... more coming up. The White Witch soars through a veritable storm of spheres. Close in on Threepio hanging on to the safety bar on the back of the Witch. JORD: Hang on, Threepio! THREEPIO: You don't have to tell me sir! The Witch is pursued by three spheres. They maneuver through formations and lose two of them. THREEPIO: Oh dear. Riding inside is bad enough. (He turns and looks behind them) Ooohhhhh...!! We see a final sphere zooming in on the Witch. THREEPIO: It's the end! KEA: JORD! JORD: (to Thall) Push it, buddy! As Jord says this, he throws a fuel container behind them. The sphere and the container explode. THALL: All right!! We hear more cheering all together. KEA: We did sit! JORD: Let's do it again! INTERIOR: TIG'S OFFICE Tig sits in his chair facing the monitor screen that is now sending up sparks and smoke. Vlix is standing to his right. VLIX: (the voice of doom) You blew this one real good. When the other gangs hear that we were settin' up for a takeover.. it's gonna get real hot for us, and your father. TIG: (beaten) I think it's time for a long vacation. I understand the swamps of Borga are almost habitable this time of year. VLIX: (almost growling) Eeeeeshh... SPACE: THE PLANET INGO In a long shot, we see Kea's 'star runner.' INTERIOR: CRUISER Kea sits at the front controls. Thall and Jord sit behind her on either side working other controls. JORD: Well, aren't you going to thank me? THALL: (turns around) Thank you... thank you for what? JORD: You told me to figure out a way to get us and the White Witch to the Boonta speeder race, didn't you? .... Well I did it! Here we are... an express run right to it. THALL: O.K. Thank you. Now ah... what about us? JORD: What do you mean? Kea pushes her chair out and turns. KEA: As I recall... aren't we the ones that risked our necks? THALL: ... to save yours? JORD: (nonchalant) Hey... What are friends for? The camera angles on the droids in the back. THREEPIO: So don't get it into that thick metallic head of yours that you've got a future in speeder racing. ARTOO: Bleep..reep..nrri...ripp.. THREEPIO: Well of course I'm concerned for your well being, but, more than that, I don't think you're capable. It takes a certain sophistication... a subtle turn of the wrist... a delicate command of the controller... a certain.. balance.... As Threepio delivers this speech, he is acting it out. . When he gets to "balance" he crashes to the floor. THREEPIO: Whaaa... aaahhh... ARTOO: Bleep... blurt... whip... THREEPIO: You see, racing is dangerous, even when you're not in a speeder. ARTOO: Bleep... whistle... Threepio rubs his head from the fall and groans. FADE OUT END OF ACT III THE END