Anyone -who has had dealings with a book club lately will
readily 'agree with me that this next story is frighteningly
plausible.

COMPUTERS DON'T ARGUE

Gordon R. Dickson

Treasure Book Club
PLEASE DO NOT FOLD, SPINDLE
OR MUTILATE THIS CARD
Mr: Walter A. Child Balance: $4.98
Dear Customer: Enclosed is your latest book selection.
"Kidnapped," by Robert Louis Stevenson.

437 Woodlawn Drive
Panduk, Michigan
Nov 16. 1965

Treasure Book Club
1823 Mandy Street
Chicago, Illinois

Dear Sirs:
I wrote you recently about the computer punch card you
sent, billing me for "Kim," by Rudyard Kipling. I did not open
the package containing it until I had already mailed you my
check for the amount on the card. On opening the package, I
found the book missing half its pages. I sent it back to you,
requesting either another copy or my money back. Instead, you
have sent me a copy of "Kidnapped," by Robert Louis
Stevenson. Will you please straighten this out?
I hereby return the copy of "Kidnapped."
Sincerely yours,
Walter A. Child

Treasure Book Club
SECOND NOTICE
PLEASE DO NOT FOLD, SPINDLE
OR MUTILATE THIS CARD
Mr: Walter A. Child Balance: $4.98
For "Kidnapped," by Robert Louis Stevenson
(If remittance has been made for the above, please disregard
this notice)

Treasure Book Club
1823 Mandy Street
Chicago, Illinois

437 Woodlawn Drive
Panduk, Michigan
Jan. 21. 1966

Dear Sirs:
May I direct your attention to my letter of November 16,
1965? You are still continuing to dun me with computer punch
cards for a book I did not order. Whereas, actually, it is your
company that owes me money.
Sincerely yours,
Walter A. Child

Mr. Walter A. Child
437 Woodlawn Drive
Panduk, Michigan

Treasure Book Club
1823 Mandy Street
Chicago, Illinois
Feb. 1.1966

Dear Mr. Child:
We have sent you a number of reminders concerning an
amount owing to us as a result of book purchases you have
made from us. This amount, which is $4.98, is now long
overdue.
This situation is disappointing to us, particularly since there
was no hesitation on our part in extending you credit at the
time original arrangements for these purchases were made by
you. If we do not receive payment in full by return mail, we will
be forced to turn the matter over to a collection agency.
Very truly yours,
Samuel P. Grimes
Collection Mgr.

437 Woodlawn Drive
Panduk, Michigan
Feb. 5, 1966
Dear Mr. Grimes:
Will you stop sending me punch cards and form letters and
make me some kind of a direct answer from a human being?
/ don't owe you money. You owe me money. Maybe I should
turn your company over to a collection agency.
Walter A. Child

FEDERAL COLLECTION OUTFIT
88 Prince Street
Chicago, Illinois
Feb. 28, 1966
Mr. Walter A. Child
437 Woodlawn Drive
Panduk, Michigan
Dear Mr. Child:
Your account with the Treasure Book Club, of $4.98 plus
interest and charges, has been turned over to our agency for
collection. The amount due is now $6.83. Please send your
check for this amount or we shall be forced to take immediate
action.
Jacob N. Harshe
Vice President
FEDERAL COLLECTION OUTFIT
88 Pnnce Street
Chicago, Illinois
April 8, 1966
Mr. Walter A. Child
437 Woodlawn Drive
Panduk, Michigan
Dear Mr. Child:
You have seen fit to ignore our courteous requests to settle
your long overdue account with Treasure Book Club, which is
now, with accumulated interest and charges, in the amount of
$7.51.
If payment in full is not forthcoming by April II, 1966, we
will be forced to turn the matter over to our attorneys for
immediate court action.
Ezekiel B. Harshe
President
MALONEY, MAHONEY,
MACNAMARA and PRUITT
Attorneys
89 Prince Street
Chicago, Illinois
April 29, 1966
Mr. Walter A. Child
437 Woodlawn Drive
Panduk, Michigan
Dear Mr. Child:
Your indebtedness to the Treasure Book Club has been
referred to us for legal action to collect.
This indebtedness is now in the amount.of $10.01. If you
will send us this amount so that we may receive it before May
5, 1966, the matter may be satisfied. However, if we do not
receive satisfaction in full by that date, we will take steps to
collect through the courts.
I am sure you will see the advantage of avoiding a judgment
against you, which as a matter of record would do lasting harm
to your credit rating.
Very truly yours,
Hagthorpe M. Pruitt, Jr.
Attorney at Law
437 Woodlawn Drive
Panduk, Michigan
May 4,1966
Mr. Hagthorpe M. Pruitt, Jr.
Maloney, 'Mahoney, MacNamara and Pruitt
89 Prince Street
Chicago, Illinois
Dear Mr. Pruitt:
You don't know what a pleasure it is to me in this matter to
get a letter from a live human being to whom I can explain the
situation.
This whole matter is silly. I explained it fully in my letters to
the Treasure Book Company. But I might as well have been
trying to explain to the computer that puts out their punch
cards, for all the good it seemed to do. Briefly, what happened
was, I ordered a copy of "Kim," by Rudyard Kipling, for $4.98.
When I opened the package they sent me, I found the book had
only half its pages, but I'd previously mailed a check to pay
them for the book.
I sent the book back to them, asking either for a whole copy
or my money back.  Instead, they sent me a copy of
"Kidnapped," by Robert Louis Stevensonwhich I had not
ordered; and for which they have been trying to collect from
me.
Meanwhile, I am still waiting for the money back that they
owe me for the copy of "Kim" that I didn't get. That's the whole
story. Maybe you can help me straighten them out.
Relievedly yours,
Walter A. Child
P.S.: I also sent them back their copy of "Kidnapped," as
soon as I got it, but it hasn't seemed to help. They have never
even acknowledged getting it back.
MALONEY, MAHONEY,
MACNAMARA and PRUITT
Attorneys
89 Prince Street
Chicago, Illinois
May 9, 1966
Mr. Walter A. Child
437 Woodlawn Drive
Panduk, Michigan
Dear Mr. Child:
I am in possession of no information indicating that any item
purchased by you from the Treasure Book Club has been
returned.
I would hardly think that, if the case had been as you stated,
the Treasure Book Club would have retained us to collect the
amount owing from you.
If I do not receive your payment in full within three days, by
May 12, 1966, we will be forced to take legal action.
Very truly yours,
Hagthorpe M. Pruitt, Jr.
COURT OF MINOR CLAIMS
Chicago, Illinois
Mr. Walter A. Child
437 Woodlawn Drive
Panduk, Michigan
Be informed that a judgment was taken and entered against
you in this court this day of May 26, 1966, in the amount of
$15.66 including court costs.
Payment in satisfaction of this judgment may be made to this
court or to the adjudged creditor. In the case of payment being
made to the creditor, a release should be obtained from the
creditor and filed with this court in order to free you of legal
obligation in connection with this judgment.
Under the recent Reciprocal Claims Act, if you are a citizen
of a different state, a duplicate claim may be automatically
entered and judged against you in your own state so that
collection may be made there as well as in the State of Illinois.
COURT OF MINOR CLAIMS
Chicago, Illinois
PLEASE DO NOT FOLD, SPINDLE
OR MUTILATE THIS CARD
Judgment was passed this day of May 27, 1966, under
Statute $15.66
Against: Child, Walter A., of 437 Woodlawn Drive, Panduk,
Michigan. Pray to enter a duplicate claim for judgment
In:  Picayune CourtPanduk, Michigan
For Amount: Statute 941
Samuel P. Grimes
Vice President, Treasure Book Club
1823 Mandy Street
Chicago, Illinois

437 Woodlawn Drive
Panduk, Michigan
May 31, 1966

Grimes:
This business has gone far enough. I've got to come down to
Chicago on business of my own tomorrow. I'll see you then and
we'll get this straightened out once and for all, about who owes
what to whom, and how much!
Yours,
Walter A. Child
From the Desk of the Clerk
Picayune Court
June 1,1966
Harry:
The attached computer card from Chicago's Minor Claims
Court against A. Walter has a 1500-series Statute number on
it. That puts it over in Criminal with you,  rather than Civil,
with me. So I herewith submit it for your computer instead of
mine. How's business?
Joe
CRIMINAL RECORDS
Panduk, Michigan
PLEASE DO NOT FOLD, SPINDLE
OR MUTILATE THIS CARD
Convicted: (Child) A. Walter
On: May 26, 1966
Address: 437 Woodlawn Drive
Panduk, Mich.
Crim: Statute: 1566 (Corrected) 1567
Crime: Kidnap
Date: Nov. 16, 1965
Notes: At large. To be picked up at once.
POLICE DEPARTMENT, PANDUK, MICHIGAN. TO POLICE DE-
PARTMENT CHICAGO ILLINOIS. CONVICTED SUBJECT A. (COM-
PLETE FIRST NAME UNKNOWN) WALTER, SOUGHT HERE IN
CONNECTION REP. YOUR NOTIFICATION OP JUDGMENT FOR
KIDNAP OF CHILD NAMED ROBERT LOUIS STEVENSON, ON NOV.
16,  1965. INFORMATION HERE INDICATES SUBJECT FLED HIS
RESIDENCE, AT 437 WOODLAND DRIVE, PANDUK, AND MAY BE
AGAIN IN YOUR AREA.
POSSIBLE CONTACT IN YOUR AREA: THE TREASURE BOOK CLUB,
1823 MANDY STREET, CHICAGO, ILLINOIS. SUBJECT NOT KNOWN
TO BE DANGEROUS. PICK UP AND HOLD, ADVISING US OF CAP-
TURE . . .
TO POLICE DEPARTMENT, PANDUK, MICHIGAN. REFERENCE
YOUR REQUEST TO PICK UP AND HOLD A. (COMPLETE FIRST
NAME UNKNOWN) WALTER, WANTED IN PANDUK ON STATUTE
1567, CRIME OF KIDNAPPING.
SUBJECT ARRESTED AT OFFICES OF TREASURE BOOK CLUB,
OPERATING THERE UNDER ALIAS WALTER ANTHONY CHILD AND
ATTEMPTING TO COLLECT $4.98 FROM ONE SAMUEL P. GRIMES,
EMPLOYEE OF THAT COMPANY.
DISPOSAL: HOLDING FOR YOUR ADVICE.
POLICE DEPARTMENT PANDUK, MICHIGAN, TO POLICE DEPART-
MENT CHICAGO, ILLINOIS
REF: A. WALTER (ALIAS WALTER ANTHONY CHILD) SUBJECT
WANTED FOR CRIME OF KIDNAP, YOUR AREA, REF: YOUR COM-
PUTER PUNCH CARD NOTIFICATION OF JUDGMENT, DATED MAY
27, 1966. COPY OUR CRIMINAL RECORDS PUNCH CARD HEREWITH
FORWARDED TO YOUR COMPUTER SECTION.
CRIMINAL RECORDS
Chicago, Illinois
PLEASE DO NOT FOLD, SPINDLE
OR MUTILATE THIS CARD
SUBJECT (CORRECTIONOMITTED RECORD SUPPLIED)
APPLICABLE STATUTE NO. 1567
JUDGMENT NO. 456789
TRIAL RECORD: APPARENTLY MISFILED AND UNAVAILABLE
DIRECTION: TO APPEAR FOR SENTENCING BEFORE JUDGE
JOHN ALEXANDER MCDIVOT, COURTROOM A, JUNE 9, 1966
From the Desk of
Judge Alexander J. McDivot
June 2, 1966
Dear Tony:
I've got an adjudged criminal coming up before me for
sentencing  Thursday  morningbut  the  trial  transcript  is
apparently misfiled.
I need some kind of information (Ref: A. WalterJudgment
No. 456789, Criminal). For example, what about the victim
of the kidnapping. Was victim harmed?
Jack McDivot
June 3, 1966
Records Search Unit
Re: Ref: Judgment No. 456789was victim harmed?
Tonio Malagasi
Records Division
June 3, 1966
To: United States Statistics Office
Atta.: Information Section
Subject: Robert Louis Stevenson
Query: Information concerning
Records Search Unit
Criminal Records Division
Police Department
Chicago, III.
June 5, 1966
To: Records Search Unit
Criminal Records Division
Police Department
Chicago, Illinois
Subject: Your query re Robert Louis Stevenson  (File no.
189623)
Action: Subject deceased. Age at death, 44 yrs. Further
information requested?
A. K.
Information Section
U. S. Statistics Office
To: United States Statistics Office
Atta.: Information Division
Subject: RE: File no. 189623
No further information required.

June 6,1966

Thank you.
Records Search Unit

Criminal Records Division
Police Department
Chicago, Illinois
June 7, 1966
To: Tonio Malagasi
Records Division
Re: Ref: Judgment No. 456789victim is dead.
Records Search Unit
June 7,1966
To: Judge Alexander J. McDivot's Chambers
Dear Jack:
Ref: Judgment No. 456789. The victim in this kidnap case
was apparently slain.
From the strange lack of background information on the
killer and his victim, as well as the victim's age, this smells to
me like a gangland killing. This for your information. Don't
quote me. It seems to me, though, that Stevensonthe
victimhas a name that rings a faint bell with me. Possibly, one
of the East Coast Mob, since the association comes back to me
as  something  about  piratespossibly  New  York  dockage
hijackersand something about buried loot.
As I say, above is only speculation for your private guidance.
Any time I can help . ..
Best,
Tony Malagasi
Records Division
MICHAEL R. REYNOLDS
Attomey-at-law  .
49 Water Street
Chicago, Illinois
June 8, 1966
Dear Tim:
Regrets: I can't make the fishing trip. I've been court-
appointed here to represent a man about to be sentenced
tomorrow on a kidnapping charge.
Ordinarily, I might have tried to beg off, and McDivot, who
is doing the sentencing, would probably have turned me loose.
But this is the damnedest thing you ever heard of.
The man being sentenced has apparently been not only
charged, but adjudged guilty as a result of a comedy of errors
too long to go into here. He not only isn't guiltyhe's got the
best case I ever heard of for damages against one of the larger
Book Clubs headquartered here in Chicago. And that's a case I
wouldn't mind taking on.
It's inconceivablebut damnably possible, once you stop to
think of it in this day and age of machine-made recordsthat a
completely innocent man could be put in this position.
There shouldn't be much to it. I've asked to see McDivot
tomorrow before the time for sentencing, and it'll just be a
matter of explaining to him. "Then I can discuss the damage suit
with my freed client at his leisure.
Fishing next weekend?
Yours,
Mike
MICHAEL R. REYNOLDS
Attomey-at-law
49 Water Street
Chicago, Illinois
June 10
Dear Tim:
In haste
No fishing this coming week either. Sorry.
You won't believe it. My innocent-as-a-lamb-and-I'm-not-
kidding client has just been sentenced to death for first-degree
murder in connection with the death of his kidnap victim.
Yes, I explained the whole thing to McDivot. And when he
explained his situation to me, I nearly fell out of my chair.
It wasn't a matter of my not convincing him. It took less than
three minutes to show him that my client should never have
been within the walls of the County Jail for a second. Butget
thisMcDivot couldn't do a thing about it.
The point is, my man had already been judged guilty
according to the computerized records. In the absence of a trial
recordof course there never was one (but that's something I'm
not free to explain to you now)the judge has to go by what
records are available. And in the case of an adjudged prisoner,
McDivot's only legal choice was whether to sentence to life
imprisonment, or execution.
The death of the kidnap victim, according to the statute,
made the death penalty mandatory. Under the new laws
governing length of time for appeal, which has been shortened
because of the new system of computerizing records, to force an
elimination of unfair delay and mental anguish to those
condemned, I have five days in which to file an appeal, and ten
to have it acted on.
Needless to say, I am not going to monkey with an appeal.
I'm going directly to the Governor for a pardonafter which we
will get this farce reversed. McDivot has already written the
Governor, also, explaining that his sentence was ridiculous, but
that he had no choice. Between the two of us, we ought to have
a pardon in short order.
Then, I'll make the fur fly . . .
And we'll get in some fishing.
Best,
Mike
OFFICE OF THE
GOVERNOR OF ILLINOIS
June 17,1966
Mr. Michael R. Reynolds
49 Water Street
Chicago, Illinois
Dear Mr. Reynolds:
In reply to your query about the request for pardon for
Walter A. Child (A. Walter), may I inform you that the
Governor is still on his trip with the Midwest Governors
Committee, examining the Wall in Berlin. He should be back
next Friday.
I will bring your request and letters to his attention the
minute he returns.
Very truly yours,
Clara B. Jilks
Secretary to the Governor
June 27,1966
Michael R. Reynolds
49 Water Street
Chicago, Illinois
Dear Mike:
Where is that pardon?
My execution date is only five days from nowl
Walt
June 29,1966
Walter A. Child (A. Walter)
Cell Block E
Illinois State Penitentiary
Joliet, Illinois
Dear Walt:
The Governor returned, but was called away immediately to
the White House in Washington to give his views on interstate
sewage.
I am camping on his doorstep and will be on him the moment
he arrives here.
Meanwhile, I agree with you about the seriousness of the
situation. The warden at the prison there, Mr. Alien Magruder,
will bring this letter to you and have a private talk with you. I
urge you to listen to what he has to say; and I enclose letters
from your family also urging you to listen to Warden Magruder.
Yours,
Mike

June 30, 1966
Michael R. Reynolds
49 Water Street
Chicago, Illinois
Dear Mike: (This letter being smuggled out by Warden
Magruder)
As I was talking to Warden Magruder in my cell, here, news
was brought to him that the Governor has at last returned for a
while to Illinois, and will be in his office early tomorrow
morning, Friday. So you will have time to get the pardon
signed by him and delivered to the prison in time to stop my
execution on Saturday.
Accordingly, I have turned down the Warden's kind offer of
a chance to escape; since he told me he could by no means
guarantee to have all the guards out of my way when I tried it;
and there was a chance of my being killed escaping.
But now everything will straighten itself out. Actually, an
experience as fantastic as this had to break down sometime
under its own weight.
Best,
Walt
FOR THE SOVEREIGN
STATE OF ILLINOIS
I, Hubert Daniel Willikens, Governor of the State of Illinois,
and invested with the authority and powers appertaining
thereto, including the power to pardon those in my judgment
wrongfully convicted or otherwise deserving of executive
mercy, do this day of July 1, 1966, announce and proclaim that
Walter A. Child (A. Walter), now in custody as a consequence
of erroneous conviction upon a crime of which he is entirely
innocent, is fully and freely pardoned of said crime. And I do
direct the necessary authorities having custody of the said
Walter A. Child (A. Walter) in whatever place or places he
may be held, to immediately free, release, and allow unhindered
departure to him . . .
Interdepartmental Routing Service
PLEASE DO NOT FOLD, MUTILATE,
OR SPINDLE THIS CARD
Failure to route Document properly.
To: Governor Hubert Daniel Willikens
Re: Pardon issued to Walter A. Child, July 1, 1966
Dear State Employee:
You have failed to attach your Routing Number.
PLEASE: Resubmit document with this card and form
876, explaining your authority for placing a TOP RUSH
category on this document. Form 876 must be signed by your
Departmental Superior.
RESUBMIT ON: Earliest possible date ROUTING
SERVICE office is open. In this case, Tuesday, July 5, 1966.
WARNING: Failure to submit form 876 WITH THE
SIGNATURE OF YOUR SUPERIOR m,ay make you liable to
prosecution for misusing a Service of the State Government. A
warrant may be issued for your arrest.
There are NO exceptions. YOU have been WARNED.
l