Perfect your personal relationships with PSI power

One of the great strengths of PSI power is the everlasting bond it is capable of cementing between blood relatives and close friends. It forms part of the unspoken channel of communication between man and wife, parent and child, and kindred spirits. Often it ignores the boundaries of space and time, it continues beyond life and into death. Those who are close to you will never 'die.' Their physical presence may vanish but their spirit will remain with you forever more.
Relationships with loved ones do not always run a smooth course, no matter how deeply you feel for each other. I firmly believe that friendships should never be permanently wrecked. For this reason, it is important to understand differences of opinion and to come to terms with them through the medium of PSI. Why live a life of despair when with a little thought and effort you can make your lot a happy one? If you work on it, your personal happiness will reach unknown peaks and the benefits you will derive will spread to other areas of your existence.
An understanding of those closest to you is the key to this success. But first you must come to terms with yourself. Know your real self. What are your beliefs and values, your standards and aims, your strengths and weaknesses? What motivates you? What sort of person are you? I hope by now that you are beginning to understand your real self through PSI and the various tests I have asked you to do. In knowing yourself, you will be in a better position to understand why your actions produce different behaviour patterns in the people with whom you come into contact.
Here is a further test to help evaluate your real self. It determines if you like getting your own way. Answer the questions honestly with a 'Yes,' 'Not Sure,' or 'No.'
1. Are you at your happiest when telling others what to do?
2. Do you often find yourself to be the leader when in a group?
3. Do you enjoy arguing your own point of view?
4. Are you good at settling arguments for other people?
5. Do you often find yourself giving advice to friends and other people?
6. Can you usually talk your wife, other members of your family, or friends round to your point of view?
7. Do people often look to you for advice?
8. If you are on a committee, say at a school or social club, would you enjoy being in charge?
9. Do you sometimes find you have a powerful influence on others?
10. Are you good at getting your own way when it suits you?
11. Do you enjoy persuading others?
12. Do you consider it an important principle to stand up for your rights?
13. Do you enjoy questioning public speakers?
14. Do other people consider you the manipulative type?
15. Have you often got into trouble for speaking your mind too openly?
Scoring: Give yourself 2 points for each 'Yes' answer, 1 point for 'Not Sure' and 0 points for 'No.'
A score of l2 or more points suggests that you are a person who has a basic need to dominate others. You tend to be the assertive type, wanting to win others around to your own point of view. You are also the sort of person who will win an argument. A score of 18 points or more means you are a born leader. With your drive you should go far, but you must be careful not to be too dominating at home and with friends. Unless your partner and friends are content with playing second fiddle they will resent your inclination to be Number One.
A score of 11 or less indicates that you tend to be a follower rather than a leader. You might want to reserve your judgment in important matters before speaking your mind and when you do so you could well find that it is your opinion that is given most weight, even though you are not assertive in giving it.
Marriage
This is one of the most formidable institutions in the human race. It has created dynasties and kingdoms, it has brought unimaginable happiness and deepest despair. It has caused lasting feuds, inspired centuries of poetry, created life and destroyed life. It has aroused every emotion known to man, it has fed an army of lawyers, it has been embodied in the unwritten tribal law of primitive races and written into the statutes and case law of modern societies. Today, under Islamic law, an unfaithful wife can still be sentenced to death by stoning and in western society, a man can be dispossessed of much of his property through divorce proceedings. And despite all this, many people still wander into marriage without proper thought and often with very little advice or instruction. It is the one contract where allowances are made for the heart, rather than for the brain. If it later turns sour we can select, from millions of words written about the subject, an appropriate and pithy maxim like that noted by William Congreve (1670-1729) the Restoration playwright:
'Thus grief still treads upon the heels of pleasure: Marry'd in haste, we may repent at leisure.'
PSI power coupled with good practical sense could help you choose the right partner, and if you are married, assist you in overcoming problems within your relationship.
Choosing a partner: Love may be blind but your inner PSI power is not and you must have the good sense to rely on it to help you choose as best you can. Both you and your partner are making the biggest commitment of your lives and it is in your interests that you make the right decision.
Explore your inner minds together. See how well you 'read' each other's thoughts. Do you think the same way? Be honest with yourselves and learn what each of you is really like. Find out if your views on religion are similar. Are your attitudes to life and your aims compatible? What are your attitudes towards sex? Do you like the same things in sex? Do you enjoy sex together? One of the biggest stumbling blocks to a happily married life can result from sexual problems.
Are you happy with your partner's looks? Are you happy with each other's status and prospects and intelligence? If there is a considerable age difference between you, then a strong factor in your choice of partner may be the high esteem the younger partner has for the older. That could present problems over the years as the younger partner matures and develops his or her own skills thereby devaluing the admiration felt for the other's skills.
Psych yourselves to discover the reasons why you want to marry your partner. If it is for just one reason, say looks or money, circumstances or fortunes may alter that in the future. If you are both very young, you may develop into quite different people as you mature. Find out if you both want children and what your attitudes are to the in-laws. Do you already regard the in-laws as outlaws?
If both of you are going to work, will your proposed marriage be an equal partnership or does the domineering partner want to be boss? How would you handle this? What chores would each of you undertake in this marriage? If both of you are born leaders and are the type to win arguments, watch out. The arguments may never be won or lost but continue throughout your marriage. What happens if suddenly the career prospects of the female partner soar above that of the male partner? Will he feel his traditional role threatened? Will he cope?
Has either of you an overwhelming interest or passion which may eventually lead to an over-indulgence of this interest and a neglect of the other party? Sports widows can be just as unhappy as war widows.
It is questions like these that each partner must answer truthfully. Once your passion has been quelled by the passage of time, other factors must remain to make your marriage happy and stable. Above all, an understanding of each other and good communication, using all your PSI skills, is an essential ingredient to a happy future.
The PSI power way to a happy marriage is not to resist your natural impulses and thoughts but to understand them in relation to your inner self. In my opinion it is not wrong, once you are married, to desire other people. That is a natural impulse and one I have felt on many occasions. As I have already said, as a young man I enjoyed many relationships with beautiful women but finally, I realised that I needed a true and permanent love. I was fortunate enough to meet Hanna and we realised that what we had was something wonderful and stable at the same time. We were married in Mexico where we have a home and both of us are sure that our relationship will last forever.
Although we went through a ceremony, we don't feel the need for a piece of paper to tell us we are together. Our relationship is one of love, respect, affection and friendship. We feel we are lucky to have two beautiful and happy children.
Even so I am still a man. I have not lost a basic desire for other women just because I am married. I personally do not know any man who is not interested or does not desire other women just because he is married. We all like variety in our life even if we do not admit to wanting to be unfaithful. The important thing is that love must be made to grow in marriage and not fade out. But how do you do that?
From a sexual point of view - how many times can you eat rice every day of your life? We are animals and we cannot control our sexual passions. Our desires fade with the same partner. Inevitably, we want to try something else. But if you know the secret of balancing your desire then you can control your animal passions. Don't be obsessed with sex.
Keep a certain distance and leave intervals between making love so it does not become boring. Find out new ways of loving and give each other little surprises. Play love games together and then have periods of abstention. That will help keep alive your sexual interest. Remember too, that your safest sexual partner is the person you know and love and trust.
Growing together: As your marriage progresses, both of you will experience changes of a personal, physical, and professional nature. If one partner becomes career-minded, the other may aspire towards increasing the family; conflicts are likely to arise. Although these changes are regularly taking place, you will nevertheless be able to cope with them adequately, providing that communication between you is good.
You and your partner should undertake meditation together and talk to each other about your inner feelings and moods. Stay on the same wavelength. Don't allow misunderstandings to develop into long silences and a complete break-down in communication. Empathise with what the other partner is going through. Transmit positive thoughts and good feelings to one another.
Children and PSI: Life can seem very unfair on us at times. Some people experience as much heartache in their attempts to have children as others have controlling their too easily conceived but errant offspring.
For those unfortunate people who have difficulty in conceiving, I offer hope through PSI. For there is hope! I know of couples who have been told by doctors that they will not be able to conceive but who have confounded the medical experts. Don't lose hope. Be positive. Medical reports often show that 'childless' couples who adopted their first baby or had it through artificial insemination by donor (AID), were later able to conceive their very own child. Such is the positive power of PSI and love.
Only people who experience extreme problems in having a child, or those close to them, can fully appreciate the anguish suffered. Couples in this situation will sometimes move heaven and earth to achieve their aim. PSI power can help them greatly in coming to terms with their situation. It takes great understanding and power of the mind for an infertile husband to accept another man as the father of his wife's child. Yet if he allows his inner self to fully accept such a baby, he will be fully rewarded in time; the baby will grow up to be his baby. It will adopt all the physical mannerisms of the mother and 'father' and with positive thought it would be impossible, unless told otherwise, for the public to know it was not his very own baby.
The same can be said of an infertile mother who asks a surrogate to have her husband's child. Through positive PSI power, that child will be no different than if it were her own. Again, there are numerous cases of couples who have had a baby of their own after their first was conceived by a surrogate.
Crisis in marriage: Throughout marriage, you will find times when there are crises. It may be experienced early when you think you have made a mistake with the man or woman you married. Alternatively, it may consist of depression and anxiety or there may be sexual tension between you. At various stages we reach a mid-life crisis and menopause. Compassion and care must then be given but achieving this should already be within your grasp through an understanding of communication and inner reflection. Look for the positives and don't let negativism enter your relationship. Don't regret your yesterdays.
Affairs
I cannot act as a moral guardian for anybody about to embark on an affair. But I can ask them to consider all the elements involved and to reflect on their inner selves and question if it is a wise move. Positive thinking and PSI power should help you to determine the consequences of such activities.
If you are married with children and are having an affair with someone in a similar position, think of how many people you could be affecting. Your spouse, the other husband or wife, two sets of children, your friends and the friends of your lover; and that is just the beginning. It may spread to work colleagues and neighbours and your employers. Ask yourself why you are having the affair. Is it just a quick fling for sexual gratification or is it to boost your own ego? Is it out of revenge for your partner or are you simply unhappy in your marriage and looking for someone else to lover
Having asked yourself the reasons, look at the consequences if you are found out. Question whether the affair is worth all the trouble it may give you if you are. Is the other man or woman more important to you than your husband or wife and family? Because you may have to give them up. How compatible a person is your lover? Could you live as happily with your lover as you could with your wife or husband and would the romance die if you were married to each other? Perhaps even more importantly, if he or she plays around now, what does the future hold? Is it likely to happen again with someone different?
PSI and the love cheats: There is a high rate of cheating among lovers in our society despite the alarming risk of contracting serious infectious sexual diseases which can, as in the case of AIDS, be fatal. I would urge everyone to choose their sexual partner with the greatest possible care and always keep in mind that limiting sex to one partner is the safest way to minimise the risk of contracting harmful diseases.
If you suspect your partner has or is engaging in extramural sex, you may choose to ignore it or to have a confrontation, if only to put your mind at ease. Whatever course of action you pursue, your knowledge of PSI will help you ascertain the facts. Here's what you do. Relax your body and mind and concentrate on your partner. He or she has been behaving differently lately and there has been some guilt which you have been able to detect from your inner PSI senses. Transfer your thought patterns to your partner and see how he or she reacts. Touch your partner and 'read' the reaction. Has it changed from before? Does your partner's speech pattern differ? Has their body language changed?
If you are sure that your partner has had illicit sex, try to ascertain if it is a regular feature, a one-off, a holiday romance, or an occasional fling. You may react in different ways depending on how serious you consider your partner's transgression.
The holiday affair: Ask yourself if this is going to be a regular feature or a one-off. Will it really affect you so much if it is a one-off? Do you really want to let him or her know? Perhaps you could try and discuss with your partner the hypothetical case of having a holiday romance. You could ask the offending partner if he or she would mind if you had a romance with someone else on holiday. How would your partner feel about it? From the response, you should be able to draw conclusions as to how far to take this conversation or whether to stop at this point and never again mention the affair.
A one-off fling: I would question the wisdom of jeopardising everything you have for the sake of a moment's passion which afterwards is meaningless. Sexual desire is a natural and basic urge and there are moments when all of us are weak. If you are tempted, your own will-power should be strong enough to resist. If your partner is in tune with you, he or she should be able to tell whether or not you have resisted or taken the forbidden fruit. If you are the innocent party I do not think a one-off fling is serious enough to destroy a good marriage. If you love your partner, be confident enough to tell yourself that he or she really is in love with you and that it will never happen again.
The affair: If your partner is having a serious affair then you must use every effort in determining what has gone wrong with your own relationship. An established affair, unless it is with your blessing, is rarely a healthy sign of a good marriage. If you know the other person your partner is involved with, PSI recognition will probably tell you immediately if they are more than just good friends. Watch for signs of body language, particularly eye contact and verbal communication. Once you have established the affair, tell your partner that you want to discuss it without getting too angry or upset.
Psych yourself for the confrontation. Tell yourself you will not get emotional or irrational but that you will talk this problem out in a sensible manner. Discover the reasons behind the affair. Tell yourself it is not worth becoming emotionally upset because there will be nothing to gain from a negative attitude. Be receptive to your partner's explanation, even if you do not sympathise with it. Explain your feelings and tell your partner what you think the two of you should do about it. Suggest independent advice if he or she is not willing to listen to you.
Open marriages: This type of marriage seems doomed from the outset, because it is usually imposed by one partner on the other and inevitably leads to jealousy and hostilities. I know an eminently qualified doctor who was married to his former nurse and both of them agreed to a liberal life-style where either could sleep with other partners. It was the husband's idea. He told me he would feel less guilty about his own affairs if he told his wife she had carte Blanche to sleep with other men. Eventually he began feeling jealous because of her immense popularity with a number of his colleagues. The pair finally split up and the doctor is a very unhappy man. He feels he has lost a wife who was a wonderful lover and person. Originally, she did not want to sleep with other men but was persuaded by her love for her husband. Neither had used the PSI approach to discover their inner feelings. If they had, the pair might have been more honest with each other and the doctor's foolishness in 'forcing' his wife into something she did not want to do would have prevented the unhappy outcome.
Children: Develop a good and healthy relationship with your children through PSI. A close and happy relationship can be possible if you are aware of the changing cycle of your child's life. The early formative years see many changes as does the period when your child reaches puberty and looks forward to independence. Use the techniques of communication to effectively discuss problems which arise and advise rather than channel your child in a particular direction.
Understanding your own motives in the advice you give can be a helpful indicator. Be sure that your advice is not a result of your own frustrations or disappointments. If you wanted to be a doctor but your parents could not afford it, then don't force that ambition on your child. It could be a recipe for disaster.
Examine your attitude to your child's friends and ask yourself whether the restrictions you put on your child are reasonable. If your child rebels against you, search your inner self to see if you have been in any way responsible for such feelings.
Communicate with your children as much as possible. Teach them to approach you if they have fears or worries about coping with certain aspects of life, particularly drugs. Learn when to say nothing at all but to listen to your child. Discuss your own fears with your child and point out the danger of experimenting with things like drugs. If they ask you about sex, tell them what you think they should know. Warn them especially of the dangers of promiscuity in today's society. Tell them all about AIDS and other sexual diseases. But also try and relax with them and then discuss your innermost thoughts with each other. Above all, show your child that you can be a friend.
Avoid, if possible, having fights in front of the children. If you do argue or fight in front of them, then make sure that the children are present when you make up again. Let them see and hear you say sorry to each other. Let them witness you having a make-up kiss. Explain to them that love has its differences and that despite everything you do still love each other, and them, and that you are sorry for what happened.
Divorce: If your marriage reaches a stage where you feel there is no point in continuing and you are intent on divorce, use all you have learned to make an effective break. Forget the circumstances leading to the break. Accept that they have happened and that it is no longer necessary to rekindle hurtful memories. Be positive. You must now look forward and if you are in any way negative, it will make matters worse for you and your partner.
Before talking to your partner about the break, relax and meditate. Tell yourself that you are going to be firm and positive and that you will not become angry or emotional when discussing the subject of divorce. Choose an appropriate time when neither of you is under pressure. Suggest your partner relaxes with you. Tell him or her that what you want will be the best for both of you. Ask your partner's help. Put yourself outside of the relationship and act, as though you are helping another couple come to terms with their break-up. Make it as friendly as you possibly can. There is no point in getting involved in costly litigation and ending up losing half your proceeds to the lawyers.
Be fair about dividing your assets and allowing access to the children. Make sure that when you break the news to your children, you do so together.
Reassure your children that both of you love them and that it is not their fault. Explain to them the reasons for your marriage break-down and tell your children that it won't affect your feelings for them. Tell them what will happen now that you are going to part and be positive about the future. Let them see the positive side of your separation.
Death: Marriage, divorce, moving house, and death are just four of the main crisis periods in our lives. It is within us all to fight the negative attitudes that prevail in these times of extreme stress. Death is as much a part of our existence as birth. We begin dying the second we are born and we must all come to terms with that. The last thing our loved ones would wish is for us to ruin our own lives with grief as a result of their departure. A period of mourning is healthy, providing it does not continue and overshadow our normal day to day life. Think to yourself how lucky you were to have the friendship and love of the person who has died. Look on the positive side of your friend's or partner's death. They may have been in constant pain and were looking for an escape. Their life, even if it ended prematurely, may have been an extremely happy or fulfilling one.
Continuing to grieve for an excessive period of time is self-indulgent and negative. No good will come of it. You are doing a disservice to yourself and to others and you have a duty to yourself to make the best of your life. Give yourself positive PSI thoughts. Say to yourself: 'I am lucky to be alive. Life is good and enjoyable. My friend would have wanted me to enjoy myself. We are not apart from each other forever. I can feel my friend's presence. I always will. I can still talk to my friend. His departure, though permanent, is in other ways no different from the separation we feel from friends who are thousands of miles away.'
Believe me, this positive PSI thought will make you happier and help you to overcome your grief. I have had many personal experiences of psychic happenings when friends of mine have died. It has helped me to live with the fact that I shall no longer see them in this life. Other experiences I can tell you about have been told to me by friends and I want to share some of these with you.
A close friend who was a jazz musician was dying of cancer. He could not readily accept this fact and asked me for reassurance in his final days. I spoke to him about some of the happy experiences others had told me about when they were near to death and I urged him not to be frightened. We grew very close and just when I felt I was getting through to him and that he was resigned to his fate, we both heard a dog bark. We looked, but there was no dog around. Yet both of us had heard a dog bark. My friend looked at me and said: 'Uri, they are coming for me.' That same night, about ten, I was at home and the lights in my house went out. I turned to Shipi and said: 'Don has died. This is a sign from him.' The next morning his wife rang me to say her husband was dead. I told her I knew. 'He died last night at ten.' She was overwhelmed but the thought that there had been communication somehow helped her get through her own grief and unhappiness.
Another friend of mine, a publisher, told me he wanted to die because he was old and sick and his wife had died some months earlier. He only wanted one person to attend his funeral, a lady who lived in Paris. At his invitation she came to London and his power was such that he died virtually an hour after she had been with him. I told Shipi that this man had such a powerful sense of PSI that he was bound to communicate his temporal passing. I was not disappointed. The moment he died we heard a peck on the window and opened it. A sparrow flew inside. He was letting us know.
How can you feel continuous grief when there is communication of this sort? I knew my friend was happy. He died as he had lived. He was fully in control until the very end.
Some of my very close relatives who have died are still with me in my thoughts almost every day. Particularly my father and grandmother. I don't feel they have left me at all. They are still as vibrant and real to me today as when they were alive. Death has only deprived me of their physical presence.
Many widows I have spoken to were convinced they could not survive without their husbands. Yet, within a short time, they have been able to re-organise their lives. They have taken up educational courses, established new friends, and even travelled round the world. They have found a different kind of happiness which in its own way was just as fulfilling as when they were married. Yet initially they experienced despair and loneliness. Their positive attitude however, soon pulled them out of it, and they were able to make a fresh start.
I think the most positive of all comments I ever heard about death was from a five times married widow in Las Vegas. She cheerfully told me about her many husbands who, she insisted, she had loved as dearly as each other. 'I know they were happy,' she told me. 'They all died with smiles on their faces.'