I Am the Gate

Talks given from 01/4/71 to 30/06/71

English Discourse series

9 Chapters

Year published: 1976

9 Discourses, Interviews by Ma Anand Pratima

I Am the Gate

Chapter #1

Chapter title: I am consciousness, I am freedom

14 April 1971 am in Bombay, India

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7104140

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GATE01

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Question 1

BELOVED OSHO,

I WISH YOUR FORGIVENESS FOR ASKING YOU VERY PERSONAL

QUESTIONS. I AM ONLY ASKING BECAUSE I FEEL THESE ARE THE

QUESTIONS WHICH ARE BURNING IN THE HEARTS OF MANY PEOPLE.

WHO ARE YOU? WHY HAVE YOU COME INTO THE WORLD? WHAT IS YOUR

WORK HERE, AND HOW WILL YOUR WORK BE ACCOMPLISHED?

It makes no difference whether these questions are personal or not because to me the person does not exist. You cannot ask any personal questions because there is no one to be related to as a person. In fact, it is not presumptuous to ask personal questions, but to assume that a person is is certainly presumptuous. The person is non-existent, a non-entity. In fact, there is no person, or there is only one person. Only God can be said to have a personality, because only God can have a center. We have no centers at all.

The center is non-existent, but we assume a center. The center is hypothetical, illusory.

We feel that without a center life is not possible. This assumed center is the ego.

You can think that this question is personal. As far as the question is arrowed toward me, it is arrowed toward a non-entity. As far as I am concerned, I do not feel at all to be a person. The deeper one goes the lesser one is. And once some one reaches to the ultimate core of himself, there is no self at all.

Secondly, you ask, who am I? I say, "I am not." I always ask seekers to ask, "Who am I?"

not in order that they will come to know who they are, but only in order that a moment will come when the question is asked so intensely that the questioner is not there; only the question remains. A moment is bound to come when the question is absolutely intense, as deep as it can go; then the absurdity of it is revealed. You come to know that there is no one who can ask "Who am I?" or who can be asked "Who are you?" The question is asked not to get any answer, but to transcend the question.

There is no one inside; in fact, there is no inside at all and the moment the inside falls, there is also no outside. The moment you are not, inwardly, then there is no outwardness.

Then the whole world becomes one whole. Then existence is one whole, not divided into the dichotomy of I and thou.

So to me, the question "Who are you?" makes no sense at all. Rather, "What is?" is the only relevant question -- not who? but what? because the what can be the whole. It can be asked about the totality, about all that exists.

The question "What is?" is existential, and there is no dichotomy in it; it does not divide.

But the question "Who?" divides from the very start. It accepts the duality, the multiplicity, the duality of beings.

There is only being, not beings.

When I say there is only being it means there is only beingness, because one cannot exist apart from the other. If there is no other, then to say that one exists is meaningless.

So there is not really being, but beingness. I always say that there is no God, but divineness, because the very word 'being' carries a limitation around it. The very word

'God' carries a finitude; it cannot be infinite. But beingness or divineness becomes infinite; it comprehends all that is. It is all inclusive, nothing is excluded. So when you ask, "Who are you?" the question to me means "What is?" To me it cannot mean anything else except that.

You have asked through me a very fundamental question. What is, is not me but the very being, the very existence. If one goes deep into a single drop, one will find the ocean.

Only on the surface a drop is just a drop. Being the existence itself, the ultimate nature of the single drop of water is the same as that of the ocean. It is oceanic. So only in ignorance is one a drop of water. The moment one knows, there is an ocean.

You have asked me a question about the ocean. So when I answer it, I am not answering about myself but about you also. When I am answering I am not answering about me, but about all that exists.

What exists? There are so many layers. If one is only aware of the surface, then matter exists. Matter is the surface of existence. Science has been only on the surface, in search; to science only matter is real, and all else is not. But now science has taken a step further and says matter is not, but energy is. Energy is the second layer; it is deeper than matter.

If one goes deep in matter, then there is no matter but energy. But that too is not yet enough, because beyond energy consciousness exists.

So when you ask, "Who are you?" I say, "I am consciousness." And this answer is all inclusive -- everything is consciousness. I answer only as a representative of all. You may not have heard that you are consciousness, you may not have known that you are consciousness, but I am answering even for you. Consciousness exists, and when I say something exists, it carries for me a particular, definite meaning. When I say something exists, it means it will never be in nonexistence. If something can go into nonexistence, it would mean that it never really existed. It was only phenomenal, it just appeared to exist.

So all that changes is phenomenal; it is not really existential. All that changes is only the surface. The innermost, the ultimate core, never changes. It is and is always in the present. You can never say it was, you can never say it will be. Whenever it is, it is. Only the present is applicable to it.

There is no past and no future, because the past and future become relevant only when something changes. When something is, then there is no past and future, but only the present. Of course, the meaning of present will be different, quite different. For us, present means something which exists between the past and the future. But if there is no past and no future, then the present will be something very different. It is not something in between the past and future. The present is just a moment -- a moment between two nonexistentials: the past that has gone and is no more and the future that has not yet come. Between these two nonexistentials, one present moment exists. That is impossible.

Between two nonexistentials there can be no existence. It only appears so.

When I say consciousness exists, I do not mean something of the past and future, but something eternal -- not everlasting, because the word 'everlasting' carries the sense of time. When I say it always exists in the present, I mean it is nontemporal; existence means it is nontemporal. It is beyond time and, simultaneously, beyond space, because all that is in space will become nonexistential. Similarly, all that is in time will become nonexistential. And time and space are not two things. That is why I relate them. They are one. Time is only a dimension of space. The movement in space is time; nonmoving time is space. Existence is nontemporal and nonspatial.

So I think you will understand when I say I am someone who is nontemporal and nonspatial. But my I is all-inclusive. You are included, the questioner is included.

Nothing is excluded. Then it will be easier to answer your inquiry. All that changes is purposive; there is something to be done, it exists for a purpose. The moment the purpose is fulfilled, it goes into nonexistence.

But all that is really existential is nonpurposive, because there is no purpose which can be fulfilled. And if there is any purpose and it is fulfilled, then existence will become meaningless. So only temporal things have purposes. They are meant for something. You can say it in this way: they are means to some end. That is what is meant by purposive.

They exist for something to be fulfilled. The moment it is fulfilled, they go. But I will be needed always, and when I say "I," that is all inclusive. There is no purpose in it.

Existence is nonpurposive. That is why it is called a leela, a play. The existence itself has no purpose to fulfill. It is not going somewhere. There is no end to it. But still it is going, still much is going. So it must be a leela, a play -- only outflowing energy. This can be related to me. I am not to be anything at all. Even then, I talk of doing things.

Once you have known that you are a part of the cosmic consciousness, you will realize there is no purpose. You just exist as a play; of course the play becomes cosmic, multidimensional. You do much, and still there is no doer and there is no purpose; those things are not there. It then becomes a play.

And this must be noted: that a doer cannot exist without a purpose, and a purpose cannot exist without a doer. They are two polarities of one ego, and ego feels very uncomfortable if there is no purpose. Ego is fulfilled through purposes. Something is to be done, one is to succeed in doing that, one is to reach somewhere, one is to make something. One has to make a signature. Thus the ego is purposive. Existence, on the other hand, is not purposive. And unless you know that which is beyond the ego, you have not known at all.

So to me, everything is just a play. Neither I am nor is there any purpose. Yet things are going. So it can be asked, "Why are they going?" They are going because there is no purpose in stopping, and there is no one to stop them. You understand me? There is no one to stop, and there is no purpose to stop. So it is there in nature to go. You become a passage. Actively you cannot be a passage, you can never be a medium. Only passivity makes you a medium, and passivity means that you are not. Otherwise, you are verbally passive. The ego is always active. The moment you are passive, the ego is not. Passivity means egolessness.

So I am totally passive. Whatever happens, happens. I never question "Why?" because there is no one to be asked. And even if you find someone, God himself, he will just laugh. Even he cannot answer it. He cannot answer it because the concept of causality, the concept of why, is meaningful only in a divided flux. If you take a beginning and an end, then causality becomes meaningful. If you understand the whole flux as endless, beginningless, then all things go into other things and all things come from other things.

Just like waves in the ocean, every wave has some wave behind and every wave has something in front, something ahead, another wave. And the whole ocean has waves. The waves are eternal.

No one asks, "Why?" except human beings. So no one else is in any anxiety at all.

When the human mind becomes anxious, it creates questions and then supplies the answers. The questions are meaningless, hence the answers are more so. But because we fabricate questions, we cannot be at ease unless we find the answers. Therefore, we go on finding answers and creating questions. If you see this whole nonsense of asking questions and answering them, you may find that you are carrying on a monologue with yourself. Even if you are asking and I am answering, it is the human mind asking and the human mind answering. It is just a hide-and-seek of the same mind. It makes no difference who is asking and who is answering.

The human mind questions, and the human mind answers, and we have created such a great mess of answers and questions, but not a single question has been answered. The questions remain where they were always. If you can see this whole procession of questions and answers, this meaningless, fruitless effort leading nowhere -- if you become aware of this whole nonsense as if in a flash of lightning -- then you can laugh at the absurdity of the human mind. And the moment there is laughter, you transcend the human mind completely. Then there is no question, and then there is no answer. Then you love. There is no purpose, and there is no cause. Then living itself is enough.

You ask and I answer you, but I myself cannot ask any questions. As far as I am concerned there is no answer, and there is no question. I go on living just like the waves in the ocean or just like leaves of the tree or just like clouds in the sky, without any question and without any answer. And the moment I became aware of this whole absurdity of questions, something fell down completely, totally. It was a resurrection. I was reborn, reborn in a cosmic dimension -- not as an I, but as cosmic consciousness itself.

In this cosmic dimension, everything is a play. Once you understand -- not only understand but realize that all is a play -- you are at ease completely, absolutely. Then there is no tension. You are relaxed. There is no ego.

The ego cannot relax. It lives on tensions, it feeds on tensions. When there is no ego, then there is no tension. Then there you are -- all inclusive. Then there is no past, and then there is no future. You are eternity. Then anything that happens is a happening, it is not that you are doing it. It is not that something is to be fulfilled through you. These are all illusory notions. And even a religious person will think in these terms -- of doing something. Then the ego has become settled, pious, and more dangerous. If the ego is there, then both the doer and the doings are there. Only the objects have changed, but the process is the same.

To me... and when I refer to "me," there is no one who is being referred to; it is only a linguistic device in order that you may understand what I say. To me, there is no one who can be referred to as me or you. But then language will be impossible. That is why truth cannot be expressed in language. It cannot take on any linguistic form, because language is created by those who are not -- by untrue ones, nonexistential ones. The mythical ego has created the language. It comes out of ego, it can never transcend it. So even if you know that there is no one who can be referred to as "me" you have to use it in language.

And I remind you that there is no one.

As far as this "me" is concerned, nothing is to be done because things happen by themselves. We ourselves happen. We are happenings. The whole existence is a happening, not a doing. So it would be better if I say that the old concept of God as creator is not meaningful to me -- I will not say "God the creator," because the expression reflects our egoistic conceptions of creation, of doing. As we "do" something, so has God

"made" the world. We have projected ourselves onto the cosmic plane, so there is creation and the creator. The dichotomy is there.

To me, God is that which happens -- not the creator, but that which goes on happening.

God means that which goes on eternally. So anything that happens is God. You and everyone are happenings. This eternal happening is God. There is no creator and no creation. The very dichotomy is egoistic -- our projections onto the cosmic plane.

Once you know that in yourself there is no dichotomy of doing and the doer, then you know that there is no doer and no doing -- only happenings. And once there is this revelation of eternal happening, there is no burden, there is no tension. Your birth is a happening, and your death will be a happening. Your being here is a happening, your not being here will be a happening. You are nowhere.

From where does this ego come which thinks "I am"..."I am doing"? It comes through memory. Your memory goes on recording happenings. You are born, you are a child, then youth comes, then you are old. Things happen -- love happens, hatred happens, and the memory goes on recording. When you look at the past, the whole accumulated memory becomes "I". "I" loved someone. It would be better and more exact to say that somewhere love happened, I was not the doer. But the memory that "I loved" has happened just like birth, just like death.

If a person can remember this only for twenty-four hours, that things are happening and there is no doer, he will not be the same again. But it is very arduous to remember even for a single moment.

It is the most arduous thing to remember that events are happening and you are not the doer. For example, I am speaking. If I say, "I am speaking" and mean that "I" am speaking, then I have misinterpreted the phenomenon. I do not know what the next sentence will be. When it comes you will know it and I will know it. It is a happening, so I cannot relate myself to it. Something comes through me. I am not at all a doer.

Something happens in me.

This is what is meant when we say the Vedas are impersonal. We say they are not created by persons. We mean by this that those who compiled the Vedas know this fact -- the fact that something is a happening. They are not doers, something is coming to them. They are only the passage, the medium, the vehicle, and even this being a vehicle is a happening. It is not their doing that they have become vehicles. Otherwise, the same fallacy will be there on another level.

So go deep in any of your acts, and you will find happenings there. There will be no act, because there is no actor. So how can one ask why? Who can answer this? The house is vacant, the owner is not. Let things go on happening. The house itself without the owner is capable of happenings.

Try to understand it more clearly. Buddha said so many times, "When we walk there is no walker, only the walk." How can this be understood? If I am not, how can I walk?

Walk, and find where you are -- you will find only the walk. We cannot understand how some one can say there is speaking and no speaker. But as you go deep in the act of speaking, you will find no speaker but just speaking. In fact, there have been no poets, only poetry has happened. There have been no painters, only painting has been happening, but the vehicle becomes the owner.

The memory creates the fallacy. But to me the fallacy is not. The memory cannot trap me, it has lost its grip on me. So everything happens, but there is no doer. And all that will happen, will happen. I will not be the primer; I will not be the master.

Once you know that you are not, you become a master in a very different sense. And if you are not, then you cannot be made a slave, negatively. Now your freedom is total.

Now no one can make you a slave. Now neither can there be any slavery nor any possibility of it. Although a paradoxical situation, it is a fact -- one who tries to be a master is always in danger of becoming a slave. One who loses himself, his mastery, his efforts, his doer, is now beyond any slavery. He is free, as free as the sky. He is freedom itself -- not even free, because when one is free the agent is there. He is freedom. So if you like, I will say, I am freedom. And there is no reason, because if there is any reason then you are not free. You are bound to it, tethered to the reason. If there is anything which you are to do, then you are tethered. Then you are not free.

I am absolute freedom in the sense that nothing is to be done. I am an awaiting. Things will happen, and I will accept them. And if they do not happen, then I will accept the non-happening. And I go on waiting. This waiting makes one a medium for the divine forces of existence. Much is done through you when the doer is not, and nothing is done through you when the doer is there. When the doer is there, you are. You are doing something which is impossible. Because the doer is impossible, the doing cannot be possible.

You are engaged in an absurd effort, and only frustration will be the result. When you are not, you always succeed. There can be no failure, because you have never thought of being anything; and even if failure happens, it is a happening. If success happens, it is a happening. And when both are happening, you become indifferent. It makes no difference; either one will do.

So I may conclude that when I say "I," everyone is included. I am consciousness, and I am freedom. I use two words, 'consciousness' and 'freedom', only to make the mystery more understandable for you. Otherwise both have the same meaning. Consciousness is freedom, freedom is consciousness. The less the freedom, the more there is matter. The more there is freedom, the more there is consciousness.

When we say this table is "material," we mean to say that it is not free to move. When we say you are a conscious being, you are free to some extent. But if you become consciousness itself, as you go deep and know the source....

I know that you are consciousness itself, not the conscious being. Consciousness is not a quality attached to you, you are consciousness. You are totally free.

So proceed from anywhere. Either be more free or be more conscious, and the other will result automatically. Be more free, and you will be more conscious. You cannot be more free unless you are more conscious. Be more conscious and you will be more free; you cannot be otherwise, because consciousness creates freedom. And when you are absolutely conscious, you are absolutely free. Then there is no cause and no purpose for you to exist. Then everything is a happening, and a happening is a leela.

Question 2

BELOVED OSHO,

ARE YOU SELF-REALIZED? AND HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN YOUR

RELATIONSHIPS WITH EXISTENCE AND WITH PEOPLE?

The word you say, 'self-realized', is not right, because realization always means a transcendence of the self. The word 'self-realization' is therefore contradictory. If you realize, you know there is no self. If you do not realize, then there is the self. Whereas selfhood is non-realization, realization is non-selfhood. So I cannot say I am self-realized.

I can only say there is no self now!

There was a self -- that was only up to the door. The moment you enter the temple of realization, you find it no more. It is a shadow which follows you up to the door, and not only follows you but clings to you -- but only up to the door, it cannot enter the temple. If you have to save it you will have to remain outside. The self is the last thing one has to throw. One can throw everything, but to throw the self is so impossible, because the effort for self-realization, the endeavor for self-realization, is an effort of the self for the self. The moment you realize, you will not be; you will not try.

So all the great teachers have used words which are fallacious, 'Self-realization' is a fallacious word. But you do not understand if they say 'no-self realization'. It will become absurd. But that is the real thing -- no-self realization. Only Buddha used anatta, no-self.

Only Buddha used it. That is why Buddha was uprooted from India. He was just thrown out, and Buddhism could not get roots unless Buddhism began to use the word 'self-realization'. In China and Japan Buddhism again came back, and they began again to use

'self-realization'. Buddha used 'no-self realization'. I am also using no-self realization.

That is the only realization.

The moment there is no self you have become cosmic. It is a great game! To know the self is the only, no doubt the greatest, the ultimate, game. The self is not something which is to be protected; it is something to be destroyed. It is something which is the barrier to your ultimate potentiality, to your ultimate realization.

So I cannot say I am self-realized. I will say, I am no-self realized, and that is the only realization that is possible. No other realization exists. The emphasis of all who claim self-realization is on the self and not on realization. My emphasis is on realization. That is why I emphatically deny the self.

How am I related to the cosmos and to other people? Relationship exists between two selves. I am one who is not related, one who is not in relationship. Relationship is always between two. This may look paradoxical, but in every relationship you remain unrelated.

Howsoever you are related, you will remain unrelated, because relationship exists between two. The two will be there. So relationship is only a facade to hide the duality.

For moments you delude yourself that you are related, but again you are. You have fallen back to yourself, and there is no relationship.

For example, when we are in so-called love, we appear to be related. We create the fallacy of relationship, but in fact, we are just deceiving ourselves. The two will remain two. However near, the two will always remain two. Even in a sex communion, they will be two. The twoness only creates a fallacy of oneness. Oneness can never exist between two selves. Oneness can only exist between two non-selves.

So as far as I am concerned, I am not related to the cosmic reality, not related at all. And by that I do not mean that I am isolated. By that I mean there is no one who can exist in relationship. As far as the cosmic reality is concerned, I am one, and the cosmic reality is one with me.

From my side, I am one, but as far as others are concerned, I am not one from their side.

They are related. Someone is related as a friend, someone is related as an enemy, someone is related as a brother, and someone is related as a disciple. They may be related to me, but I am not related to them. And the whole happening in me is to make them unrelated. But there cannot be any effort on their part, That only can be a realization of no-self.

If they know that there is no one who can be a disciple and no one who can be a guru, if they know that there is no one who can be related to anyone, only then the self falls and your emptiness is naked. And there are no clothes which give you a boundary, a self. In your total nakedness, when you know that there is no self, you are but a space, an inner sky, emptiness -- then you become one. Or I may say then you really become related.

When oneness happens, then one's self is not.

You have asked me how I am related to the cosmos and to the people. To me they are not two things -- the cosmos and the people. The cosmic happens in so many ways, and one of the ways is the people. The cosmic happens in so many ways -- the sun, the stars, the earth, the trees, the animals, the people. Only frequencies differ, the divinity is the same.

So to me, the cosmos and the people are not two things.

Whatever I have said before is not from thinking. It is a fact. But if I think -- and I have to think if I am to understand your side -- then you are related to me because you are and as long as you are, you will be related. That creates a very difficult situation. Daily, moment to moment, it creates a difficult situation.

You feel yourself related to me. You feel that you belong to me. Then you begin to expect that I should belong to you. Because you feel that you are related to me, you begin to expect that I should be related to you. Because of that expectation, I know that you are bound to be frustrated. With a person who is a self, it is bound to be frustrating, but it may take a longer time. But if you are with a person who is a no-self, it will not take even a short time gap. Every moment will be frustrating because there will be no fulfillment of your expectations. There is no one to fulfil them.

So I am very irresponsible, because there is no one who can be responsible. There are responses but no one who is responsible, so each response, therefore, is atomic. It cannot be a sequence, so you cannot expect anything from the moment that will follow. I even do not know. The response is going to be atomic, each complete in itself, not in any way related with the past or with the future.

The ego is a series of events, happenings, and memories. It is so because you exist in a series -- and you try to take me as a series, but that becomes difficult. So everyone will feel, sometime or other, angry with me, because my response is atomic and not a serial one. The serial response becomes responsibility. Then you can rely.

I am very unreliable. You can never rely on me -- I myself cannot rely on me. I do not know what is going to happen. I am completely open and accepting to anything that happens. And I never think in terms of relationship, I cannot think; rather, I live in terms of oneness.

Whenever you are near me, it does not mean that I am related to you. It is that I become one with you. And this oneness you interpret as love. But this oneness is neither love nor hate, because all that is known as love can change into hatred any moment. But this oneness can never change into hate. You may be near, you may be far; you may be a friend, you may be an enemy; it makes no difference. As far as I am concerned, you may come to me or go from me, it makes no difference.

Relationship is conditional; oneness is non-conditional. Relationship is always with conditions. Something changes in the condition, and the relationship will change.

Everything is always on a volcano. Every relationship is always in a wavering state, always in a dying process, always changing. So every relationship creates fear, because always there is the danger of its being broken. And the more there is fear, the more you cling, and the more you cling, the more fear you create.

But oneness is quite diametrically opposite. Oneness is unconditional. It exists because no condition, no expectation, no fulfillment, no future result, is hoped for. It is neither conditioned by the past nor oriented to the future. It is a momentary, atomic existence, unrelated with the past, unrelated with the future.

So I feel oneness with the cosmos and with the people also, and from the cosmos, the feeling is the same. As I feel one with it, from the cosmos the feeling is of the oneness.

Once I was not feeling this, but I now know that the cosmos has always been in the same feeling towards me.

Oneness is always flowing, it has always been flowing; there has been an eternal waiting for the cosmos. Now I feel it towards the cosmos; I feel it also towards the people. The moment some one feels this oneness towards me, he becomes a part of the cosmic. He is then not a person, he becomes cosmic. And once you feel oneness, even with one person, you have known the taste. You have known the taste of ecstasy. Then you can jump into the all.

So this is what is happening around me. I do not say I am doing -- this is happening around me.

I will call you near just to give you a taste of oneness, and if you can realize this even for a single moment, then you will never be the same again. This is a very patient effort --

very unknown, unpredictable. No one can say when the moment is near. Sometimes your mind is so tuned that you can feel the oneness. That is why I insist on meditation, because it is nothing but tuning the mind to such a peak that you can jump into the oneness.

Meditation to me means tuning of the mind toward oneness, opening of the mind toward oneness. This can only happen when your meditation has gone beyond you; otherwise it can never happen. If it is below you -- you are doing it, you are the controller -- then it cannot happen, because you are the disease. So I persuade you toward meditation in which, beyond certain limits, you will not be. Meditation will take you over. By and by you will be pushed. Of course you will begin the meditation, because there can be no other way. You will have to begin, but you will not end the meditation. You will begin, but you will not end it. In between, somewhere the happening will happen. The meditation will catch hold of you. You will be thrown, and meditation will come in. Then you will be tuned to the cosmos. Then you will be one.

Oneness is important, not relationship. Relationship is sansar, the world, and because of relationship we have to be born again and again. Once you have known oneness, then there is no birth, then there is no death. Then there is no one except you. All are included.

You have become the cosmic. The individual must go before the oneness comes. The ego must go before the divine comes.

Ego is the source of all relationship. The world is the relationship. God is not a relationship, the divine is not a relationship. The divine is not selfness. This means you cannot become one with it. So a bhakta, a devotee, can never reach the cosmic, because he thinks in terms of relationship -- God the father, God the lover, God the beloved. He thinks in terms of relationship. He goes on thinking in terms of self and the other. He can never transcend the ego. This is something very subtle, because the devotee is always struggling to surrender. Devotion, the path of devotion, is the path of surrender. He is trying to surrender, but to someone.

If you try to surrender to someone, the other is there. And the other cannot exist if you are not; so you will go on existing in the shadows. You will forget yourself, but forgetting yourself is not surrender. You remember the divine so much that you cannot remember yourself now, but you are in the back, you exist in the shadows. Otherwise God cannot exist as the other.

So the path of devotion, as it exists, cannot lead you to the transcendental, to the cosmic, to the one. To me, it is not a question of surrendering to someone, it is just a question of surrendering the self -- not at someone's feet, just surrendering yourself. If there is no self, then you have become one.

The self can go on creating the seeds, it can go on creating the deception. And the greatest and most certain deception is that of the devotee and God -- a religious deception. Any deception which becomes religious can be dangerous, because you cannot even deny it. Even to deny it will create guilt. You will feel guilty to deny selfhood to the divine, but to the divine the selfhood is the projection of your self. The moment you are not a self, there is no self as far as God is concerned. The whole existence has become selfless. And when the whole existence has become selfless, then you are one with it.

Selflessness is the path.

Selflessness is the real devotion.

Selflessness is the authentic surrender.

So the problem is always of the self. Even if we think of liberation, moksha, we think of freedom of the self, not freedom from the self. We think that then we will be free. But then you cannot be free -- moksha is not the freedom of the self, it is freedom from the self. So I exist in a selflessness, in a flux, in a process of selflessness. Neither am I a self nor is anyone else a self.

For example, waves are in the ocean, but each wave misconceives itself as separate from the ocean. It appears to be separate. It can deceive itself -- there are so many waves around, and each wave appears different. My wave is higher and yours will be lower, or my wave will be lower and yours higher. How can it be the same? And waves cannot look deep down in the sea. Only the surface is known. Your wave is dying, and my wave is young and rising. Your wave has reached the shore, and I am far off. How can I think that we are both the same? But yet, whether we think so or not, we are the same.

So the wave that is known as "me" is not an ego; it is not a self. This wave has known that the ocean is the wave. The wave is just a surface phenomenon. A surface is an appearance, a surface is a movement. This wave that I call "I" has not known that wavelessness, the waveless ocean, is the real. Even your wave is not different.

I have known that which joins all. You may call it self-realization, I will not. I will call it no-self realization, because this is the essence of all realizations. This is no-selfness. I think you understand what I mean.

Whatsoever I said may not be what I mean, and what I mean may not be what I said. So do not confuse my sayings with my meanings, but always look into the deep. Always listen to that which has not been said, but indicated. There are things which cannot be said, but shown, indicated. All that is deep, and all that is ultimate, can only be shown and never said. And I am saying things which cannot be said. So do not think of my words. Always throw the words as meaningless; then go deep down to the wordless meaning, to the silent meaning. It is always there behind the word.

The words are always dead, the meaning is always living. One can be open to the words, but one can never be open through the intellectual understanding. You can be open with your total being, not with only your intellect. It is not that the intellect sometimes misunderstands -- the intellect always misunderstands. It is not that the intellect sometimes errs -- the intellect is the error. It always errs.

So whatsoever is being said, be sympathetic with it. Do not try to understand it, let it go deep in you. Be vulnerable, open to it. Let it go deep into the heart. Do not create intellectual barriers to it. Then with your full being in participation, you will know. You may not understand, but you will know. And understanding is not enough, knowing is needed. Sometimes you understand or think that you have understood, thus you create a barrier to the knowing. The intellect understands; the being knows. The intellect is just a part, it is your being that is the real.

When you know, you know with your blood, you know with your bones, you know with your heartbeats. But if you understand, you understand only with the mechanism of the mind, which is not so deep. It is only a device, a utilitarian device which is needed to survive, which is needed to be related, but which becomes a barrier toward oneness and toward spiritual death and resurrection. It is only a natural device to survive. It is not meant to reveal the ultimate truth. It is not meant to know the hidden mysteries -- and the mysteries are hidden.

So whatsoever I am saying, do not think about it. Go home and sleep over it. Just let it go in, let it penetrate. Do not guard yourself; be open. Each guarding is against knowing.

And only when it has reached your innermost being will it be known and really understood. That is what is meant by shraddha, faith. It does not mean belief. Belief is intellectual. One can believe intellectually, one can disbelieve intellectually -- both are intellectual. Faith is not intellectual at all. It is the total mystic participation. It is being one with the hidden mysteries. It is a jump.

So whatsoever I am saying, I am not interested in any theory at all, I am not interested in any philosophies at all. I am interested in the existential jump. When I say something, it is only to lead you to that which cannot be said. And when I use words I use them only to lead you toward silence. When I assert something, it is only to indicate the unassertable.

My expression is not really to express something, but to indicate the inexpressible.

So be sympathetic, because only sympathy can be the opening. Let whatever I said drop into you; it will have a flowering. If the seed goes into the depths, it will have its flowering. When the flower comes, you will know that which has been said, but could not be said. You will know that which has been said, but yet remains unsaid.

I Am the Gate

Chapter #2

Chapter title: Neo-sannyas: The answer to human crisis 16 April 1971 am in Bombay, India

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Question 1

BELOVED OSHO,

WHY DO YOU GIVE SANNYAS TO ALMOST ANYBODY WHO COMES TO SEE

YOU?

WHAT IS YOUR CONCEPT OF SANNYAS? WHAT OBLIGATION DOES IT

INVOLVE?

To me, sannyas is not something very serious. Life itself is not very serious, and one who is serious is always dead.

Life is just an overflowing energy without any purpose, and to me sannyas is to lead life purposelessly. Live life as a play and not as work. The so-called serious mind, which is diseased, will in fact convert play into work. The sannyasins are to do the very opposite --

to convert work into play. If you can take this whole life just as a dream, a dream act, then you are a sannyasin. One who considers life as a dream, a dream-drama, has renounced.

Renunciation is not leaving the world, but changing the attitude. An attitude of changing the world is something serious. That is why I can initiate anyone into sannyas. To me, initiation itself is a play. I will not ask for any qualification, whether you are qualified or not, because qualifications are asked where something serious is done. So everyone, by just being in existence, is qualified enough to be at play. He can play, and even if he is unqualified it makes no difference, because the whole thing is just a play. That is why I will not ask for any qualifications.

And my sannyas does not involve any obligation either -- the moment you are a sannyasin, you are totally at freedom. It means now you have taken a decision, and this is the last decision. Now you have not to take any decision anymore. You have taken the last decision now -- to live in indecision, to live in freedom.

One who lives decidedly can never be free. He is always bound by the past, because the decision was taken in the past. You can never take any decision for the future, because the future is unknown and whatever decision is taken is bound up with the past. The moment you are initiated into sannyas, you are initiated into an uncharted, unplanned future. Now you are not tethered by the past. You will be free to live. That means to act, to play, and to be whatever happens to you. This is insecurity.

To renounce a name, to renounce a property, is not really insecurity, it is very superficial insecurity. And the mind remains the same, the mind that was thinking about the property as security. Even property is no security at all, you will die with all your property. Even a home is not security at all, you will die in it. So the false notion that property, home, friends and family are securities is still prevailing in the mind which thinks, "I have renounced; now I am insecure."

Only that mind, only that person lives in insecurity who lives untethered to the past.

Insecurity means untethered to the past; and it has so many meanings, because all that you know comes from the past. Even your mind is of the past.

So one who renounces knowledge is really renouncing something. You yourself come from the past, you are nothing but accumulated experiences. So one who renounces himself is renouncing something. All your desires and all your hopes and all your expectations -- they all confirm the past. One who renounces his past renounces his desires, his hopes, his expectations.

Now you will be just like an emptiness, a nothingness, a nobody. Sannyas means throwing all claims of being somebody. Now you are going into no-identity, nobodiness.

So this is the last decision of your mind, with which the past is closed. The identity is broken, the continuity is not there. You are new; you are reborn.

Everyone who is alive is qualified to live in insecurity. If one is really to live, one has to live in insecurity. Every arrangement of security is renounced living. The more you are secure, the less you are living. The more you are dead, the more secure, and vice versa also. For example, a dead man cannot die again, he is death-proof. A dead man cannot be ill, so he is disease-proof. A dead man is so secure that those who go on living may seem foolish to him -- they live in insecurity.

If you are alive at all, then you are insecure. The more insecure, the more alive. So a sannyasin to me is a person who decides to live to the utmost, to the optimum, to the maximum; it is just like a flame burning from both poles.

There is no obligation, there is no commitment. You are not bound to any discipline at all. If you want to call insecurity a discipline, that is another matter. Of course, it is an inner discipline. You are not going to be anarchic, no! When have I ever said that the person will be anarchic? Anarchy is always bound up with order, with a system. If you renounce order, you can never be disorderly. It is not denying order, it is just renouncing, and renouncing means now to be in order! It is just an act, a play for others' sake. You will not be serious about it, it is just a role of the game. You walk to the left or to the right for others' sake, for traffic's sake, but there is no seriousness about it; nothing is serious in it.

So the sannyasin is not going to be disorderly. As far as he himself is concerned, as far as his inner consciousness is concerned, now there will be no order. That does not mean there will be disorder, because the disorder is always a part of the order. When there is order, there is a possibility of disorder. When there is no order, then there is no disorder, because there is spontaneity. Moment to moment you live, moment to moment you act.

Each moment is complete in itself. You do not decide for it. You have no decision how to act. The moment comes to you, and you act. There is no pre-determination, there is no pre-plan.

The moment comes to you. You happen to the moment, and whatever comes out, let it come. More and more you will feel a new discipline arising in you -- a moment-tomoment discipline. It is a very different dimension, so it will be better to understand it clearly. When you decide beforehand what to do, it is because you do not think you are conscious enough to act in the moment, spontaneously. You are not self-confident; that is why you decide beforehand.

And still you are deciding. You cannot act in the moment, so how can you decide beforehand? Now you are less experienced. You will be more experienced when the moment comes. If I cannot believe in the "me" of tomorrow, how can I believe in the

"me" of today? And when I have to decide it beforehand, it carries no meaning. It will only be destructive.

I decide today, and I act tomorrow. All has changed. Everything is new, and the decision is old. And if I do not act according to the moment, there is guilt. So all those who teach deciding beforehand, create guilt. I do not act, then I feel guilty. And if I act, then I cannot act adequately, and frustration is bound to follow.

So I say you have not to commit yourself to any decision, and you will be free. Let each act, each moment, come to you, and let your total being decide... in that moment. Let the decision come as the act happens. Never let it precede the act, then the act can never be total.

One should know that when you decide beforehand you decide intellectually. Your total being can never be in it, because the moment has not come. If I love someone, and I decide that when I meet him or her I will act this way, I will say this thing, I will do this and will not do that, this can only be intellectual, mental. This can never be total, because the moment has not arrived. The total being has not been challenged, so how can the total being act?

And when I have decided beforehand and the moment comes, the total being will not be able to act because the decision will be there. So I will only imitate, follow, copy, the preceding. I will be the false man. I will not be real because I will not be total. I will have a blueprint to act; I will act according to it. Again this will be a mental act, not with your total being. So either you succeed or you fail, yet in both cases you have failed because the total being could not be in it. You will not feel love.

So let the moment come, let the moment challenge you, and let your total being act. Then the act is total. Then your total being comes to act. Then you are totally in it! And the best that is possible will come out of this totalness and never out of the decisions. So sannyas means living moment to moment with no commitments of the past.

If I give you a mala and if I give you a robe, this is only for your remembrance, that now you have not to decide. It is only to make you remember that you are not the old. When this awareness becomes so deep that you do not need to remember it, then throw the robe, then throw the mala. If it comes to you to throw it, do not make it a decision, do not make it a commitment to me. If it comes to you, then throw them, but not unless the awareness has become so deep that even in sleep you know that you are a sannyasin.

When even in your dream this ocher robe has come, then throw it. When even in your dream this ocher robe is there, then throw it. Then it is meaningless. If even unconsciously you remember, if you cannot forget even in any situation, then there is no need. So this is just a device to help you toward total being, to help you toward total action.

And I will go on conferring sannyas on each and everybody who happens to be with me even for a single moment because, as I have said, I do not know about tomorrow at all.

So I cannot wait. If you come this moment, whatever is to be done is to be done. This moment I cannot wait. I do not know about tomorrow, about what is going to happen, and I cannot plan. So the moment you are with me, whatever is being done is to be done this very moment. It cannot be postponed, because there is no future for me.

And this sannyas is not the old sannyas. It is totally a new concept, or totally an ancient one which has been forgotten completely -- you can call it either. It is the newest and the oldest, simultaneously, because whenever there has been sannyas, really, it has been such. But always there are imitators, and you cannot deny them -- they are. There are imitators, and there will always be. And they make everything a discipline, because only a discipline can be imitated.

Sannyas is something that cannot be imitated. Freedom cannot be imitated, thus sannyas can never be imitated. But those who are imitators, what can they do? They will make a system out of this -- imitators always create systems. Anything other than sannyas they do not destroy so much, because life as it is lived is imitation. Imitation goes on, the whole world is imitating. Your whole upbringing is through imitation -- in language, in morality, in society, in culture, everything is through imitation. Everything is imbibed through imitation.

So imitations are successful everywhere except in sannyas. They destroy much here.

They cannot destroy anywhere else because everywhere imitation is the rule. You cannot be free with language, you must imitate it. You cannot be free with social structure, you must imitate it. Imitators succeed everywhere. Only in sannyas the dimension of total freedom is something with which imitators grow very destructive, because its very dimension is quite opposite. Imitation will destroy it. So Jesus is imitated, you have the IMITATION OF CHRIST. Whenever sannyas is imitated there is no sannyas left. So when I say there is no commitment, I mean there will be no imitation.

You are totally free, I will throw you into an openness. That is what is meant by initiation. It is not narrowing you down, it is giving you an open sky. It is just pushing you to fly in an open sky. Of course there are no routes and no road maps, there cannot be. And there cannot be any road in the sky. So you have to fly alone, you have to depend on yourself alone. Your existence will be the sole company -- the only company.

Life is just like a sky. It is not like earth roads, you cannot follow; following is impossible. You have to be alone. Initiation means that now I push you into aloneness. So now you are alone totally, not depending on anyone, not even me. It requires courage. To imitate is easy, to follow is so easy, to depend on someone is easy. But to be totally alone with no map, with no discipline, with no system, is the greatest courage. And a sannyasin means one who is courageous. This courage is not something which can be imitated, it has to be developed through living.

You will err, you will go astray. That is all implied in it. But by erring you will learn, and by going astray you will come to the right. And there is no other way. You have to pass through arduousness. This walking alone, this flying alone... one has to pass through all this austerity. And this sannyas is different in another sense also, because the old sannyas, the so-called sannyas which is prominent, is less a spiritual renunciation and more a social renunciation. Even the social structure of it is more physiological, less spiritual.

This sannyas is basically spiritual. So you can receive it anywhere, wherever you are. It demands involvement -- inner, deeper, spiritual. And as I see it, the more you are involved physiologically, the less there is a possibility to go deep, because once involved with the physiological you will never be out of it. You will never be out of it because there are intrinsic impossibilities: if someone is trying to be above desires he is struggling for something which is impossible, because desires are natural. Your body cannot exist without them. So you will go on clinging to the body, and still desires will be there --

less, of course, but they will be there. And the weaker the body, the less the desires will be strongly felt. So you can go on weakening, but unless you die the body will have desires.

There are not only desires, there are needs. Needs are to be fulfilled, and the better fulfilled, the less they trouble you, the less they demand, the less time is needed for them.

So once you are struggling with physiological needs, you will waste your whole life. This whole process, this whole old sannyas, is negative, fighting against something. Of course, it is ego-strengthening. Whenever there is fight, ego is strengthened. If you can kill a desire, you may become more egoistic. If you can deny your body a particular need, you become more egoistic. Fight, in any manner, is always ego-satisfying and ego-fulfilling.

To me, sannyas is something positive, not negative. It is not to deny your bodily needs. It is not to deny your superficial needs it is to develop, to grow in your inwardness. It is not fighting against something, it is giving all your energies toward growing something. Your being must grow and must become mature. The more your being grows, the less you will be your ego. And once your being has grown, you know what is need and what is desire.

Otherwise you can never know; you can never make a distinction between what is a need and what is a desire.

Desire is always mad, need is always sensible. If you deny your needs, you are suicidal.

If you go on increasing your desires, again you are suicidal. If you go on denying your needs, you are committing suicide. If you go on increasing your desires, then again you are committing suicide, in a different way.

If desires become too much, if desires are so overwhelmingly great, you will become mad. The tension will be unbearable. If you deny your needs, again you create tensions that will become unbearable. So there are two types of suicidal minds: one which goes on denying its needs, and one which goes on transforming its needs into desires. And this distinction can never be made outwardly. No one else can decide for you what is the desire and what is the need. Your own awareness will be the measure, because to one, something maybe a need and to another it may be a desire. So no ready-made answer can be given.

Only this much can be said: that without which you cannot exist is the minimum definition of need. But one's own awareness will decide, ultimately, and that too cannot be decided forever because today something may be a need, tomorrow it may be a desire.

This moment it is a need, and that moment it may be a desire. But once there is positive awareness in you, you are aware of your mind and its cunning and shattering ways; once you are aware of your ego, its methods of strengthening itself, its methods of feeding itself, you will know the distinction.

So I am not negative. Sannyas, neo-sannyas, is absolutely positive. It is to grow something in you. I am to give you a positive attitude toward your being, not a negative attitude. You are not to deny anything. Of course, many things may be denied -- not by you, but automatically. As you go more inward, you will shrink outwardly. The less one is a being inwardly, the more he has to substitute himself outwardly. He will go on spreading.

But do not struggle with your spreading, outward self. Struggle with the seed which is you, which can grow to such heights that this outward nonsense will automatically fall down. Once you know the inner riches, then there is nothing which is comparable from the outside world. Once you know the inner bliss, then enjoyment is foolish, then all that goes on in the name of entertainment is foolish, stupid. It just falls down once you know the inner ecstasy. Then all that is known as happiness, joy, is nothing but deception. But not before -- unless you have known the inner happiness you cannot say that, and if you say that then you will be in a greater deception.

So a positive attitude toward sannyas means a dimension altogether different. You can be where you are, you can go on doing whatever you are doing -- no outward change is immediately asked for. Of course there will be changes, but they will come. When they come, let them come, but do not try, do not make any effort. Do not force them to come.

And I see more possibility for positive sannyas, for positive renunciation, in the world that is coming.

That negative concept of denying oneself was possible previously for so many reasons.

One was the way society was structured. All the agricultural societies could allow some persons to be completely without work. But the more the society is industrialized, the less will be the possibility of joint families. The more individuality, the less will be the possibility of joint families. Loose economic structure could allow more joint families, but the more planned the economy, the less will be the possibility of joint families. Those who were sadhus and monks seem to be exploiters. Now they cannot be respected, now they cannot exist. And as I see it, everyone must do whatever he can do; one must contribute to the society in which one exists. One should not remain an exploiter. One should not be, and the religious person cannot be, an exploiter. And if a religious person can exploit, then we cannot expect others not to exploit.

To me, a sannyasin will not be an exploiter. He will earn a living. He will be a producer, not only a consumer. So a productive concept also goes with the positive. The old concept of the non-productive monks was well adjusted with the negative attitude. The positive attitude will have more implications. For example, the old concept of sannyas denied many things. It denied a family, it denied sex, denied love. It denied everything that contributes to society's happiness -- that can contribute to your own happiness. It denied -- I will not deny.

That does not mean that I allow. When I say I will not deny, it only means a moment can come when a person becomes absolutely transcendental -- for example, to sex. That is another thing, that is not a requirement but a consequence. It is not needed before sannyas, it will come after sannyas. And I will not make it a guilt if it does not come. The old concept is very cruel, it was sadistic and masochistic both. Sex was denied because sex seems to give a glimpse of happiness.

So many religions allowed sex without happiness. You can just use it for reproduction, but you should not have any happiness out of it. Only then it is not a sin. So sex is not really a sin. "But you should not be happy. To be happy is a sin." To me everything that is given to human beings is not to be denied; it is not to be suppressed. Let the inner flowering come first -- then you will see that so many energy channels have changed their course. And the difference will be great.

If you deny sex, then you have to deny love also. Those sannyasins who deny, will become loveless. They talk about love but they become loveless. They talk about

"universal love." It is always easier to talk about universal love than to love a single individual -- that is more arduous, to love the whole universe is so easy; nothing is involved. And one who thinks in terms of denial will talk of universal love and will go on denying and uprooting individual feelings.

Religion that denies sex will have to deny love, because with love there is every possibility that sex may follow. But as I see it, if sex is not denied but transformed with your positive growth, then there is no need to deny love. You can be loving. And unless you are loving, the energy that may come to you that is not going through the sex channel cannot be used. It will become destructive. So to me a growing love is the only possibility of transcending sex.

Love must grow. It must go up to the universe, but it must not begin from there, it is never from the far. And one who thinks that one should begin from the far is deceiving himself. Every journey has to begin from the near. The first step that is to be taken cannot be taken from the far. One should be a loving individual. And the more one's love grows deep, the less he becomes sexual and the more love will spread.

So I will not deny anything, because ultimately bliss is to be sought. Everyone is seeking bliss. Happiness is not to be denied, but when there is an explosion of bliss you will know that whatever you have been thinking as happiness was fake. But you cannot throw it at this moment. Let the bliss come first. That is what is meant by positive growth. Let something come in you, something greater, only then the lesser will be thrown. And your ego will not be strengthened by it because when you throw it, you throw something useless, worthless.

All those who claim renunciation say they left this and that. They show by this that nothing great has been achieved. Whatever they have renounced yet remains meaningful.

It is there in their memory, it is still a part of the mind, they are still the owners. Of course they have renounced, but how can one renounce something which one does not own? So if you go on thinking about renunciation, you are still owning. In a negative way you are the owner.

But once you know a greater phenomenon -- a greater bliss, a greater happiness -- then you are not renouncing things. They just drop away, just like dry leaves from the tree. No one knows and no one hears, the dry leaves just drop. The tree remains oblivious to it and there is no wound left behind. So, to me, everything has a moment to happen, a moment of ripeness -- ripeness is all. One must ripen; otherwise one will be wandering unnecessarily and harassing himself unnecessarily and destroying himself unnecessarily.

One should ripen, then the opportunity comes by itself.

So renunciation is through positive growth. That is what I mean by my sannyas --

renunciation through positive growth. There is no negativity at all, no denial, no suppression.

I accept the human being as he is. Of course, now much is potential, but as he is, he is not to be condemned. There is nothing to be condemned. He is the seed, and if you condemn the seed, how can you acclaim the tree? I accept the human being as he is -- totally, with no denial at all. Only I do not say that this is all he can be, that this is the end. I only say that this is the beginning. The human being is only a seed which can grow into a great tree, which can grow into divinity. Each human being can be a god. But now, as he is, he is only a seed. The seed is to be protected, the seed is to be loved, and the seed is to be given every opportunity to grow.

Sannyas means that you have come to realize that you are a seed, a potentiality. This is not the end. This is only the beginning, and now you must decide to go into that growth.

That growth comes through freedom, that growth comes through insecurity. You see a seed -- very secure. A tree is not so secure. The seed is closed, closed completely. The moment the seed dies and the tree begins to grow, the potentiality begins to be activated.

There are dangers -- insecurity will be there, there will be every possibility of destruction, a very delicate thing fighting against the whole universe. But now you are only a seed, there is no danger.

To be a sannyasin means now you take the decision to grow. And this is the last decision.

Now you will have to struggle, now you will have insecurity, you will have dangers, and you will have to fight and face them moment to moment. This moment-to-moment fight and struggle, this fighting into the unknown, this fight for the unknown, this living in the unknown, is the real renunciation.

To decide to grow is a great renunciation -- a renunciation of the security that is given to the seed, a renunciation of the wholeness that is given to the seed. But this security is at a very great cost. The seed is dead, it is only potentially living. It can live, or it can remain dead. Unless it grows, becomes a tree, it is dead. And as far as I know, human beings, unless they decide to grow, unless they take a jump into the unknown, are like seeds --

dead, closed.

To be a sannyasin is to take a decision to grow, to take a decision to go into dangers, to take a decision to live in indecision. This seems paradoxical. It is not. One has to begin somewhere, and even to live indecisively one has to have a decision somewhere. Even to go into insecurity is going somewhere, and one has to decide it. I help your decision and create a situation in which you can make a decision. This neo-sannyas can go to the very core of the world. It can reach to everyone because nothing special is needed -- only understanding.

Another thing I would like to explain is that this sannyas is not bound to any religion. On this earth every type of sannyas has been part and parcel of a particular religion, a particular sect. That too is is a part of a security measure. You renounce, yet you belong.

You say, "I have left the society," yet you belong to the sect. You go on being a Hindu, a Moslem or a Sikh. You go on being something.

Really, sannyas means to be religious and not to be bound to any religion. Again, it is a great jump into the unknown. Religions are known, but religion is the unknown. A sect has systems, religion has no system. A sect has scriptures; religion has only existence, no scriptures. This sannyas is existential, religious, nonsectarian.

That does not mean that this sannyas will deny a Mohammedan Mohammedanism, that this sannyas will deny a Christian Christianity -- no! It means, really, quite the reverse. It means it will give the Christians the real Christianity. It will give the Hindu the real Hinduism, because the deeper you go into the Hindu religion, ultimately the Hinduism will drop and you will find religiousness only. The deeper you go into Christianity, the less it will be like Christianity and the more like religion. At once, you reach to the center of the religion.

So when I say by becoming a sannyasin you belong to no religion as such, I do not mean that you are denying Christianity or Hinduism or Jainism. You are only denying the dead part that has become burdensome in religion. You are only denying the dead tradition, and you are uncovering and discovering again the living current, the living current behind all the dead -- dead traditions, dead scriptures, dead gurudoms, dead churches.

You are again finding the living current. It is always there but it is always to be rediscovered; each one has to discover it again. It cannot be transferred, it cannot be transmitted. No one can give it to you. Whatever has been given will be dead. You will have to dig it deep within yourself, otherwise you never find it. So I am not giving you a religion, I am giving you only the push to find the living current. It will be your own finding, and it can never be anyone else's. So I am not transmitting anything to you.

There is a parable....

Buddha comes one day with a flower in his hand. He is to give a sermon, but he remains silent. Those who have come to listen to him begin to wonder what he is doing. Time is passing. It has never happened like this -- what is he doing? They wonder whether he is going to speak or not. Then someone asks, "What are you doing? Have you forgotten that we have come to listen to you?"

Buddha says, "I have communicated something. I have communicated something which cannot be communicated through words. Have you heard it or not?"

No one has heard it. But one disciple -- a very unknown disciple, known here for the first time, a bhikkhu named Mahakashyapa -- laughs heartily. Buddha says, "Mahakashyapa, come to me. I give you this flower, and I declare that all that could be given through words I have given to you all. That which is really meaningful, which cannot be given through words, I give to Mahakashyapa."

So Zen tradition has been asking again and again, "But what was transmitted to Mahakashyap?" -- a transmission without words. What has Buddha said? What has Mahakashyapa heard? And whenever there is someone who knows, he laughs again, and the story remains a mystery. When someone understands, he laughs again. Wherever there are persons who are scholars, who know much and who know nothing, they will discuss what has been told, they will decide about what has been heard. But someone who knows will laugh.

Bankei, a great Zen teacher, said, "Buddha said nothing. Mahakashyapa heard nothing."

So someone asks, "Buddha said nothing?"

"Yes," Bankei said. "Yes, nothing was said; nothing was heard. It was said, and it was heard. I am a witness."

So someone said, "You were not there."

So Bankei said, "I need not have been there. When nothing was communicated, no one is needed to be a witness. I was not there, and yet I am a witness." Someone laughed, and Bankei said, "He was also a witness."

The living current cannot be communicated. It is always there, but you have to go to it. It is nearby, just by the corner. It is in you, you are the living current. But you have never been in. Your attention has always been out, you have been out-oriented. You have become fixed. Your focus has become deadly fixed, so you cannot conceive of what it means to be in. Even when you try to be in, you just close your eyes and go on being out.

To be in means to be in a state of mind where there is no out and where there is no in. To be in means there is no boundary between you and the all. When there is nothing out, only then you come to the inner current. And once you have a glimpse, you are transformed. You know something which is incomprehensible, you know something which intellect cannot comprehend, you know something which intellect cannot communicate.

But yet one has to communicate -- even with a flower, even with a laugh. It makes no difference, they are gestures. Does it make any difference if I use my lips or if I use my hands with a flower? Just the gesture is new, so it disturbs you. Otherwise, it is as much a gesture as any lip moving. I make a sound, it is a gesture. I remain silent, it is a gesture.

But the gesture is new, unknown to you, so you think something is different. Nothing is different. The living current cannot be communicated, yet has to be communicated --

somehow has to be indicated, somehow has to be shown.

So the moment someone becomes ready to take sannyas, it is a decision for him toward a great search, and it is a gesture to me that he is ready to take a jump. And when someone is ready to change, to lose an old identity, to be reborn into a new being... When someone is ready, he need not be qualified; it makes no difference. This readiness is the qualification. When someone is ready, I am ready to push. It is not necessary that he should reach, but is it not a wonder that he should begin?

That is not the point -- that he should reach is not the point at all. But one begins. This beginning is something which is great. Reaching is not so great. Beginning is great because whenever someone reaches, he is capable. And whenever someone begins, he is not capable. You understand me? Whenever someone begins, he is incapable. So the beginning is the miracle.

A Buddha is not a miracle. He is capable, so he reaches. It is so mathematical, there is no miracle. But when someone comes to me with all his desires, with all his longings, with all his limitations and thinks to begin, it is a miracle. And when I have to choose between Buddha and him, I will choose him. He is a miracle, so incapable and so courageous.

So I am not concerned at all with what end you achieve. I am only concerned with the beginning. You begin, and I know once there is the beginning, the end is half in hand.

The beginning is the thing. Once there is a beginning, you will go on growing.

It is not a question of a day or two days, it is not a question of time. It may happen at the next moment, it may not happen for many births, but once you have begun you will not be the same again. This very decision to take sannyas is such a miracle of change. For births continuing you may not achieve, but you will not be the same again. This will come again and recur again.

This remembrance of taking the decision of freedom will be there always amidst all your slaveries, amidst all your bondages. This decision to be free, this longing to be free, this longing to transcend, will be there waiting for the opportunity. So how can I deny anyone a beginning? And whom do I have to ask whether he is qualified or not? If God himself allows you existence, life, and never asks you, "Are you qualified?" who am I to ask?

I am not giving you life, I am not giving you existence, I am just giving you a conversion.

When God is ready to give you life, you must be qualified with all your limitations and weaknesses. He allows you to exist. You must be precious, even in the divine's eyes you must be precious. So who am I to deny you the beginning? But gurus sometimes become even wiser than God himself. They decide who is qualified and who is not. Even God comes to them -- then they will decide who is qualified and who is not. And whenever anyone comes, God is coming. So do not laugh: whenever anyone comes, God is coming, because no one else can come.

So who am I to deny someone when he comes to me? He may not know it, he may not be aware of it, but I am aware of it -- that God is in search of himself. So I cannot deny him, I can just rejoice in his beginning. That is why no distinction is made, no qualification is required. And this sannyas is needed at the moment for the whole humanity. The whole humanity needs it. We have become so unaware of the living current, we have become so unaware of the divinity within and without, that each one should be made aware.

Otherwise, the situation has fallen so low that it may not be possible to come back for a century. It has been going on and on.

Darwin thought that we were animals; now they think that we are automata. Animals have souls at least! They had; now we have not. And soon we will not be such efficient automata either, because better computers will be there, better mechanisms will be there; not only will you be only a machine, but a very ordinary one.

This is the belief -- this is not knowledge -- this is the belief which has been forced on the human mind for three centuries. Now it has become prominent. It is as much a belief as any belief. It makes no difference that science is in support of it, it is a belief. And once humanity begins to believe it, it will be difficult to revive human souls.

So the days that are coming, the last part of this century, will be very definitive. The last part of this century will decide the fate for centuries to come. This is going to be definitive -- definitive in the sense that the belief that human beings are only machines, natural mechanical devices, will become prevalent. When this belief is prevalent, it will be very difficult to come to that lost hidden current again. It will go on becoming more difficult; even today it has become so difficult. There are so few people in this world who really know the living current -- they can be counted on the fingers.

All those who talk are only talking. Very few people really know, and each day the number is falling down. Those who know are not being replaced again. Each day there are fewer and fewer people who know the living current, who know the reality behind, who know consciousness, who know the divine.

This century, this last part of the century, will be decisive. So those who are in any way ready to begin, I will initiate them. If ten thousand are initiated and even one reaches the goal, the trouble is worth taking. And all those who come to know something of this inner world, I would ask them to go and knock at every door, and tell them to stand on the roofs, and proclaim that something blissful, that something immortal, that something divine, is.

Be a witness, go and be a witness to it; otherwise the mechanical belief will become prevalent. It is easier to check it now, it will not be easy to replace it afterwards. And the mind is in a way plastic, more plastic today -- ready to be molded in any mold. Because all the old beliefs have been taken away, the mind is vacant and thirsty to belong anywhere -- even to a mechanical belief. Any nonsense which can give you a feeling of belonging, which can give you a feeling of knowing that you know what reality is, will be caught. And the human mind will become tethered to it.

So not a single moment is to be wasted. Those who know even a bit, those who have even a glimpse, should talk about it to others. And this last part of this century is not so small as it seems. It is a big one, and in a way, bigger even than centuries. Because the speed of change is so great, these thirty years are just like thirty centuries. What could not be done in thirty centuries can be done in thirty years, in three decades. The rapidity of change is such that the time which looks small is not small.

There are three beliefs which are going to kill, which are going to destroy the last bridge between humanity and the divine undercurrent. One is the belief that mind is just a machine. The second is communism -- that man and man's relationship to society is just an economic phenomenon. Then there is no heart, then man is not decisive -- the economic is decisive. Then man is just in the hands of economic forces, blind forces.

Then consciousness is not decisive, but social structure is decisive. Marx says that it is not consciousness which determines society, but society which determines consciousness.

Then consciousness is nothing. If it is not decisive, it is not.

And thirdly, there is the concept of irrationality. The three are: the Darwinian concept which has turned into the belief of the human machine, the Marxist concept which has turned consciousness into an epiphenomenon of economic forces, and the Freudian concept of irrationality -- that man is in the hands of natural forces, instinct. He has to do whatsoever he does, and there is no consciousness but only an illusory notion that we are conscious.

In these three concepts the religions are not prevalent. Neither is Mohammedanism a prevalent religion, nor Christianity nor Hinduism nor Buddhism. Neither is Buddha a prophet now, nor Mahavira nor Mohammed nor Christ. Today's prophets are Freud, Darwin and Marx. All these three are against freedom, and all these three are against immortality.

So I will go on pushing everyone into the inner world, hoping of course, hoping against hope, that someone may come to the living current, the satchitananda, and may be able to express it through his total being -- to live it. If even a few people can be found to live it now, the whole course of the humanity that is to come will be changed. But this can only happen not through teaching, but through living. That is why I insist on sannyas, it is a beginning to living.

I insist on it also in another sense. You may say, "If no outward change is needed, then why change the robe? Why change the name?" I want sannyas to become infectious. For you, it helps you to remember. For others, it begins from a point where they can think about it. They can be for or against it, they cannot be indifferent to it. Your colored robe, the moment someone sees it, he will either be for it or against it; no one can be indifferent. He will think about it; if not, he will laugh about it. He will either think that someone has renounced or he will think someone has gone mad, but he will begin to think. And if these robes go on striking, if a person has to come in contact with these robes daily, so many times, they are going to become infectious. He cannot continue neglecting it. He will have to decide something about it.

I want religion to become a current dialogue. It is not a current dialogue at all. No one talks about it. Everyone talks about politics; no one talks about religion. If someone talks about it, others only tolerate it out of etiquette. They preach, hear or listen only as a social duty, as a Sunday affair. No one takes any care what is happening to his innermost soul.

So religion has to be made a current topic, a current dialogue. Every means should be used, and it should be a living symbol.

Wherever you go, you create waves of thinking, waves of emotion. Even by your passing, just your passing, you create a wave, an atmosphere, a situation. That is why I insist on change. There are other reasons also. The ocher color helps in so many ways, because each color has its own wavelength, each color has its own absorption capacity. You cannot be the same in differently colored robes. You will be different.

When you are in a white robe, you cannot be the same as when you are in a black robe.

With the black you will feel sadness, crippling all around you, in you. You will become sad unknowingly. In this world, in this existence, nothing is meaningless, everything carries a meaning. Everything carries a particular atmosphere with it.

The ocher color is chosen for so many reasons. One reason is that it makes you feel just like the sunrise in the morning; it is the color of the sun rising. The whole atmosphere becomes alive, worth seeing. Everything becomes alive. The rays that come are ocher colored. They create a living atmosphere -- something alive and vibrating. So this color was chosen in order that you might vibrate with divinity. You must be alive with divinity.

No sadness shall have any shelter in you, no sorrow should be allowed to have any shelter.

You must be in a dancing mood twenty-four hours -- it is the dancing color. And it conserves the same atmosphere around your body, just like in the morning. The whole day, it conserves. If you can feel it, cooperate with it, you will know a great difference.

And when one is wearing ocher, it is one thing; when thousands wear it, the result is altogether different. The quantity changes the quality.

Buddha will come to a city with ten thousand ocher-colored bhikkhus. The whole city is surrounded with a new atmosphere, it is a great attack! The whole day the village is as fresh as in the morning, everywhere is the ocher color. Each moment, everyone is remembering. The ocher has a psychological association.

You know that the policeman, when he is off duty and not wearing his uniform, is an ordinary person. You will see the change even in his face -- he is so ordinary. When he is in uniform, he is someone else -- quite a different person. He is not the same man, his whole behavior will be different. He will stand in a different way, he will walk in a different way.

The ocher color has become associated with sannyas. It was used for so long, for thousands and thousands of years. It has become a part of the collective mind. And you should know sannyas is originally an oriental concept; it dawned first on the oriental mind. For at least ten thousand years the Orient has used the ocher color. In your so many lives, the ocher color has been worn as a robe of the sannyasin, It is part of your collective mind, of your collective unconscious. It is a great association.

So once you use it, then the whole ancient collective mind is revived again. Your memories come up again and surround you. They change your personality, they change you. They change the inner structure of your mind. So it is possible to use another color, but it is difficult to create the same association with it now, and the time is short and the moment is crucial.

So many have asked me, why ocher? Why not a new color? A new color can be used, but it will not be useful. If I had ten thousand years ahead of me, then I would change the color, but the time is short and decisive and crucial and a great crisis is to be faced. So I will use your many births.

And if you think that when someone comes to me I will just give him sannyas, it is not so. I may say that I gave sannyas, to anyone who came to me, but it is not just so. It looks so, but it is not just so. The moment anyone comes to me, I know much about him that he has not known about himself even.

Yesterday, someone came to me in the morning, and I told her to take sannyas. She was bewildered. She said to give her time to think and decide, at least two days. I said to her,

"Who knows about two days? So much you require... take it today, this moment." But she was not decisive, so I gave her two days. The next morning she came and took it. She has not taken two days, only one day. I ask her, "Why? You have been given two days, why have you come so soon?" She said, "At three o' clock at night, suddenly I was awake, and something went deep within me telling me, `Go take sannyas.'"

It is not a decision that she has made, but a decision that has been made by her very deep-rooted mind. But the moment she came in the room I knew her, I knew that mind which she came to know twenty hours later.

So when I say take sannyas, there are so many reasons with every person to whom I tell it. Either he has been a sannyasin in the last life, or somewhere in the long journey he has been a sannyasin.

I had given her another name yesterday, but today I had to change it because I gave her that name in her indecision. Now I am giving her a different name that will be a help to her. When she came this morning, she herself was decided. That other name was not needed at all. And I have given her the name Ma Yoga Vivek, because now the decision has come through her vivek -- her awareness, her consciousness.

Ma Yoga Tao is here, for example. She has been thrice a sannyasin. I have given her the name Tao because in a past life she was Chinese and a Taoist monk. She might not know it, but I have given her the name Tao. Someday she remembers, and then she will know why I have given her a Chinese name. Now it is irrelevant, but the moment she will remember that she had been a Taoist monk, she will know why the name was given to her.

Everything is meaningful. It may not be so obvious, and it may not be possible to explain it to you. So many things will remain unexplained for a much longer time, but the more you become receptive, the more I will be able to explain. The deeper your capacities to be sympathetic, the deeper the truth that can be revealed. The more rational the discussion, the less the truth that can be revealed, because only less significant truths can be given any proof with reason. Deeper truth cannot be given any proof with reason.

So unless I feel that you are so sympathetic that reason will not come in. I cannot tell you.

I have to remain silent on so many points -- not because I am withholding anything from you, but because it will not be helpful to you, and on the contrary it may prove harmful.

I Am the Gate

Chapter #3

Chapter title: Occult devices and the spiritual search 18 April 1971 am in Bombay, India

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Question 1

BELOVED OSHO,

IN THE LAST SITTING YOU SPOKE ABOUT THE MALA, ABOUT CHANGING

THE COLOR OF THE CLOTHING, ABOUT CHANGING THE NAME, AND THE

REASONS FOR THESE THINGS. WHY DO YOU WISH YOUR OWN PICTURE TO

BE WORN AROUND THE NECK, ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU DENY BEING A GURU?

I deny being a guru, but I do not deny your being a disciple. One should never be a guru, but discipleship is something without which nothing is possible. And when there is no guru, then discipleship is something inner -- an inner discipline. Both these words come from the same root. 'Discipleship' means a mind which is ready to seek, search, learn -- a mind which is open and vulnerable. So I deny being a guru, but I do not deny your being a disciple.

Another point... the mala with a picture has so many reasons behind it. One, the picture is not mine. Had it been mine, I would have hesitated to put it there. No one would be courageous enough to put his own picture. Everyone would think of putting it there, but no one would put it there. The picture only appears as mine, it is not. No picture of me is possible really. The moment one knows himself, one knows he is something which cannot be depicted, described, framed. I exist as an emptiness which cannot be pictured, which cannot be photographed. That is why I could put the picture there.

Two or three things more are to be understood. The more you know that picture, the more you concentrate on it, the more you come in tune with it, then the more you will feel what I am saying. The more you concentrate on it, the more there will not be the first question about the picture. And the moment you remember me, even unknowingly, in a way I am there. But this you will come to experience by and by.

So many more reasons are there, but I will not talk about them. This much is enough.

Other reasons will be revealed, and it is better that they should not be revealed now.

There are things which should not be talked about, because even by talking about them they become superficial. There are things which should remain occult, should remain secret, because they work in secrecy, otherwise they won't work. They are just like roots of a tree: the roots must remain underground, in the dark, unknown to the tree. Only then do they work.

So there are occult things which must remain unconscious, underground. You must not know them -- only then do they work, otherwise they will not work. The roots must not be known. They must remain hidden. So there are many things you ask that I will not answer, or I will answer only up to that limit where the hiddenness is not uncovered. The hidden must remain hidden. You will come to know, but only by experience.

After three months you will not be able to remain a single moment without the mala. You will feel the difference. But that will be your knowing. It is so great, it cannot remain unfelt. And by and by, as the experience grows deeper and richer, you will not feel the picture there. With your deepening consciousness, the locket will become empty.

Everyone will see the picture, but not you. When this happens, then you can communicate with me directly, immediately, without any medium.

I am trying in so many ways to convey things without any medium, because there are things which cannot be conveyed through any medium. So I will have to create devices --

this sannyas is a device, this initiation is a device. Those who are initiated will soon become capable of knowing things which cannot be told to others -- of so many secrets, keys, which no one can ordinarily understand unless he has seasoned, ripened through occult training.

This is only the beginning; much is to follow. If I feel you are receptive, then much will follow. If I feel you are not receptive, then the beginning will be the end. You will gain much even in the beginning, but not the whole thing. So in many ways I try to know your receptivity.

If someone comes, I give him the mala and the picture with it. It is predictable that he should ask, "Why this picture of yours?" This is very predictable. But if he does not ask -

- if he simply takes the mala and asks no questions, if he is not curious -- he has given a deeper hint about himself, that things which cannot be questioned can be delivered to him. There are things which cannot be delivered if questioned, because no proof can be given for them, no reasoning can be given for them. There cannot be answers to some questions. They are bare statements of knowing -- with no proofs, with no criteria.

So if I see someone who comes to me, and I have given him things about which the ordinary mind is prone to ask questions and he does not ask them, he has proven capable of being given deeper things which should not be questioned. In so many ways, how tethered you are! How much you are tethered to the reasoning part of the mind must be known. I have to know it because the more you are tethered to reason, the less you are capable of knowing the deeper things... because reason is the most superficial part of your being, the most superficial.

Although it claims to be the deepest -- and only the superficial claims to be the deep --

reason is the most superficial part of your being. It has something to do, it has some utility, but only utility. If you think of it as a vehicle to go into the unknown, then you will never, never be able to know anything that is worth knowing.

So I use so many devices to know you also. And each and everything has so many reasons. For example, the case of a person who resists: someone wrote me a letter fifteen days ago saying, "I can be initiated by you. I want to be initiated by you, but I cannot make you my guru."

I am no one's guru, I myself never claim to be a guru -- but to this man I will claim to be a guru. To this man I cannot say "I allow you not to think of me as your guru." He has shown his incapacity so clearly. If you are not a disciple, then I will have to be a guru. If you are a disciple, then I need not be a guru, there is no necessity. But if you insist on your egoistic non-surrender, then I will have to insist on so many things to destroy your ego. I will have to use so many devices to make you egoless.

If you are egoless, then I will not use any device. So the problem becomes more puzzling.

To one who is ready to be a disciple, I will say, "I am not your guru. It is enough that you are a disciple." But to the one who says, "I will not believe you, I will not take you as my guru," I will insist. Otherwise, this man cannot be initiated. He is coming with a condition, and you cannot be initiated with your conditions.

Initiation means that you are ready to surrender, ready to trust; otherwise you need not go through the initiation. The initiation is nothing, this mala is nothing, this robe is nothing.

This is only the entrance, now the ways will be darker. There will be things which you have not imagined. You will have to trust, otherwise you cannot take a single step. So it is better to know at the entrance that you are incapable of trust, that any effort to lead you in will be unnecessary and futile.

Religion is basically neither believing nor disbelieving. Religion is trusting, it is trust.

And whenever there is an unknown to be jumped into, there is no other way. Unless you trust, you cannot know it. And you do not know it now. So what can you do? You can only trust and take the jump. This mala will also help you to create this trust.

When I say that if you meditate on the picture the picture will be absent, do not take it on trust. Try it, and it will happen. When I say that when the picture is absent you can communicate with me, do not take it as a trust. Try it. Take it hypothetically and experiment with it. The moment the picture is absent and you can communicate with me, you will be ready for the things which will need your trust. Then you can take further steps with a trusting mind.

The more civilization has progressed, the more the ego has become crystallized. The ego is the only barrier, and now it is the greatest barrier. It was not so always.

Sariputta came to Buddha. He was one of the most learned men of those times. He questioned many things, he asked many questions, he discussed so many things, then he was initiated. From the moment he was initiated, then continuously for thirty years he was with Buddha. But then he would never ask anything.

So someone asked, "Sariputta, you were such a learned man. People say you know even more than Buddha..."as far as information is concerned, he was a Mahapandit, a great scholar. "... When you came, you discussed such deep things, you questioned many things. We were very happy that someone had come who questions Buddha, so that we could come to know many things which might have remained unknown. Through your questions we could know them. But why have you become silent?"

Sariputta said, "The moment I was ready to be initiated, I had to stop my questions, because to question anything is absurd. I questioned everything before -- before taking the trust. Now my mind is settled."

Sometimes Buddha would say such absurd things, just to find out whether Sariputta would ask again. He said such absurd things that anyone would begin to ask, "What are you saying?" But Sariputta would be silent.

Buddha said to him, "Wherever you are, always pay respect to the direction in which I am -- wherever you are." Wherever he was wandering, he would always pay respect in the direction where Buddha was dwelling.

Sariputta became an awakened one after Buddha's death. Someone said, "You have become awakened. Now you need not pay respect to anybody. You yourself have become a buddha." Sariputta said, "I could not pay respect before, because I was not awakened and the ego was there. Now I cannot pay respect because I have become awakened. Then when will I pay respect? I could not pay respect before, and even if I paid respect, it was with very great difficulty, and the respect paid with difficulty is no respect. Then I could not pay respect because of the ego. Now you say I should not pay because I have become awakened. Then when will I pay respect?" Sariputta said, "Buddha does not need it, but now is the moment. Before it was impossible."

But these were times when trust was easy. Now trust has become quite impossible; that is why religion has become impossible. Religion is bound to be irrational and contradictory.

To jump into existence is bound to be irrational, it is a jump from the rational to the irrational. So by and by I will have to make you ready and prepared. Little by little I will make you ready to go into the irrational. Even if I answer you it is not to convince your reason, but just to shatter it. Even if I sometimes appear to be rational, it is only as a beginning. It is only to begin with your mind. If you feel as if I am rational, then your mind is attuned.

The moment I see you are attuned, I will push you into the irrational. There is no way except that one is pushed into the irrational. And this is not much. The more you are ready, the more I will put things on you which will look insane in others' eyes. The moment I see that you are ready to be insane, when you are not afraid of others' eyes and others' opinions, even of your own reason you are not afraid, only then can the deeper keys be handed over to you, not before. Otherwise, you will just throw the keys away, you will not be able to appreciate them. You will not be able even to understand that they are keys.

So by and by all those who have been initiated into sannyas will have to be ready to go into the irrational. Existence is such, it does not reply to questions. Life is such, it gives no explanations. It is. And all our questions and all our answers are only deceptions. Even scientific answers are deceptions, because they never really answer anything. They only push the question a step back They only go on pushing questions. You become tired, so you do not ask.

No question is answerable through answers. Through the existential jump every question is solved, but not through intellect. If you ask a scientist why oxygen and hydrogen combined create water, he will say that it just happens, it is so: "We can say only this --

that it just happens." But why does it happen? No one will go to ask the scientist why oxygen and hydrogen can create water. Why? Why not helium and oxygen? There is no answer.

The scientist will say, "We can say only how it happens, not why." But with religion we always ask why. Even science, which claims to be rational, cannot answer why. Religion, which never claims to be rational, is always being asked, "Why?"

You ask me, "Why this mala? Why this picture?" I will say, "Use it in this way, and this will happen," and my answer is as scientific as possible. Religion never claims to be rational, the only claim is of being irrational.

Use the mala in this way: meditate on the picture, then the picture will not be there. It happens so. Then the absent picture becomes a door. Through that door communicate with me. It happens so. After doing meditation, take this mala off and feel, and then put this mala on and feel, and you will see the difference.

Without this mala you will feel totally unprotected, totally in the reins of a force which can be harmful. With this mala on you will feel protected, you will be more confident, settled. Nothing can disturb from the outside. It happens so; you will do the experiment and know. Why it happens cannot even be answered scientifically. And religiously there is no question to answer. Religion never claims, that is why so many rituals of religion become irrelevant.

As time passes by, a very meaningful ritual will become meaningless, because keys are lost and no one can say why this ritual exists. Then it becomes just a dead ritual. You cannot do anything with it. You can perform it, but the key is lost. For example, you can go on wearing the mala, and if you do not know that the picture in it is meant for some inner communication, then it will be just a dead weight. Then the key is lost. The mala may be with you, but the key is lost. Then one day or another you will have to throw away the mala because it is useless.

The mala is a device for meditation. It is a key. But this will come only through experience. I can only help you toward the experience. And unless it happens, you will not know. But it can happen, it is so easy, it is not difficult at all. When I am alive, it is so easy. When I am not there, it will be very difficult.

All these statues that have existed on this earth were used as such devices, but now they are meaningless. Buddha declared that his statue should not be made. But the work that was done by statues still will have to be done. Although the statue is meaningless, the real thing is the work that can be done through it.

Those who follow Mahavira can communicate with Mahavira through his statue even today. So what should Buddha's disciples do? That is why the Bodhi tree became so important; it was used instead of Buddha's statue. For five hundred years after Buddha there was no statue. In the Buddhist temples only a picture of the Bodhi tree and two symbolic footprints were kept, but this was sufficient. That still continues. The tree that exists in Bodhgaya is in continuity with the original tree. So still today those who know the key can communicate with Buddha through the Bodhi tree at Bodhgaya. It is not just meaningless that monks from all over the world come to Bodhgaya. But they must know the key, otherwise they will just go and the whole thing will be just a ritual.

So these are keys -- particular mantras chanted in a particular way, pronounced in a particular way, emphasized in a particular way with such-and-such frequencies. A wavelength should be created, the waves should be created. Then the Bodhi tree is not just a Bodhi tree; it becomes a passage, it opens a door. Then twenty-five centuries are no more, the time gap is not there. You come face to face with Buddha. But keys are always lost. So this much can be said: use the locket, and you will know much. All that I have said will be known, and more that I have not said will be known also.

Question 2

BELOVED OSHO,

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE A SPIRITUAL SEEKER?

It means two things, primarily. One, that life as it is known outwardly is not fulfilling, life as it is known outwardly is meaningless. The moment one becomes aware of this fact, that this whole life is just a meaningless thing, then the seeking begins. This is the negative part, but unless this negative part is there, the positive cannot follow. Spiritual seeking means primarily a negative feeling, a feeling that life as it is, is meaningless, this whole process just ends in death: "Dust unto dust." Nothing remains conclusively in one's hands. You pass through life with such agony, with such hell, and nothing is achieved conclusively.

This is the negative part of spiritual seeking, and the whole life helps you toward this.

This part -- this negativity, this frustration, this anguish -- is the part the world is to do.

Once you become really aware of this fact of the meaninglessness of life as it exists, then your seeking ordinarily begins, because with a meaningless life you cannot be at ease.

With a meaningless life an abyss is created between you and all that is life. An unbridgeable gap grows, becoming wider and wider. You feel unanchored. Then a search for something which is meaningful, blissful, begins. That is the other part, the positive part.

Spiritual seeking means to come to terms with actual reality, not with the dream projection. Our whole life is just a projection, our dream projection. It is not to know what is, it is to achieve what is desired. You can take the word `desire' as a symbol of our so-called life -- it is a desired projection. You are not in search of what is, you are in search of what is desired. So you go on desiring, and life will go on being frustrating, because it is as it is. It cannot be as you like it. You will be disillusioned. It is not that reality is antagonistic to you, but that you are not in tune with reality, only in tune with all your dreams. Your dreams will have a shattering disillusionment. So when you are dreaming, it is all right. When any dream is achieved, everything becomes disillusioning.

Spiritual seeking means knowing this negative part: that desiring is the root cause of frustration. To desire is to create, of one's own accord, a shell. Desiring is the world. To be worldly is to desire and to go on desiring, never becoming aware that each desire comes to nothing but frustration. Once you become aware of this, then you do not desire, or your only desire is to know what is.

I am not to project myself but to know what is. Not that I should be this way or the reality should be that way, but only this -- that whatever reality may be, I want to know it, naked as it is. I should not project. I should not come in. I want to encounter it as it is.

Spiritual seeking positively means encountering existence as it is without any desire. The moment there is no desire, the projecting mechanism is not there working, then you can see what is. This "what is" -- that which is -- once known, gives you all.

Desires always promise and never give. Desires always promise bliss, ecstasy, but the end never comes, and each desire only terminates into more desire. Each desire only creates in its place more desires that are still greater and, of course, in the end, more frustrating.

A no-desiring mind is one that is in spiritual seeking. A spiritual seeker is one who is completely aware of the nonsense of desire and is ready to know what is. Once one is ready to know what is, reality is always by the corner, just by the corner. But you are never there, you are in the desire, in the future. Reality is always in the present -- here and now -- and you are never in the present. You are always in the future, in your desires, in your dreams. In dreams, in desires, we are asleep. And the reality is here and now.

Once this sleep has been broken, the dream has been broken and you become awakened to the reality that is here and now, just in the present. You are reborn. You come to ecstasy, to fulfillment, to all that has always been desired but never achieved. Spiritual seeking is to be here and now, and you can only be here and now when there is no desiring mind; otherwise the desiring mind will create wavering. Just like a pendulum, the mind goes either to the past, in the memory, or to the future, in desires, in dreams. But it is never here and now, it always misses the point of here and now. It just goes to the one extreme, the past, or to the other, the future. We miss the reality between these waverings of past and future.

Reality is here and now. It is never past and never future; it is always present. Now is the only moment. Now is the only time. It never passes. Now is eternal. It is always here, but we are not here. So to be a spiritual seeker means to be here. You may call it meditation, you may call it yoga, you may call it prayer. Whatever name is given it makes no difference, the mind must not be. And the mind exists only when there is past or future, otherwise there is no mind.

I was talking to someone yesterday. You cannot think in the present, I was telling him.

The moment you think, it has become the past. So the mind cannot exist in the present. It exists only in the memory of the past, or it projects into the future. It never comes in contact with the present -- it cannot come, that is impossible. So if there is no thought, there is no mind. This no-mindness is meditation. Then you are here and now. Then you explode into reality. Then the reality explodes into you.

Spiritual seeking is not for moksha, salvation after death. Again, that is a desire, even more greedy than the desire for wealth, the desire for prestige, the desire for power. The desire for moksha is even more greedy, because it goes even beyond death.

Spiritual seeking is not to seek God, because again that is greed. If you are seeking God, then again your mind is greedy. You must be seeking God for something. However deep and unknown to you and unconscious to you, you must be seeking God for something.

But I do not mean by this that when spiritual seeking comes to fulfillment, there is no God. I am not saying that when you have come to meditation and the mind is not, moksha is not. Moksha is there. You have liberation but it is not your desire. It is just the consequence of knowing the reality as it is.

God is there, but it is not because of your desiring. He is the reality. So when you know the reality, you know it is divine. The reality is divine. But seeking is not for God or moksha or bliss, because whenever there is desire you will project again into the future.

Spiritual seeking is disillusionment with the future and remaining in the present, being in the present, being ready to face whatsoever comes here and now. The divine explodes, the freedom comes, but these are not your objects. They are consequences, shadows of the realization of the real.

So first be aware of the whole process of life as frustrating. Not a single illusion should be there, otherwise you will be tethered to it. Go deep in each experience of life. Do not escape from it. Know it so deeply that you know its disillusionment. Do not escape; do not renounce. Only then this part is complete, and you can take the jump into the here and now.

If you have become aware that the future is the root cause of all the nonsense that the human mind creates, then you have taken the basic step; you have traveled. Now you can be ready to be aware of what is. In the first part, the negative part, life helps much. So go to every experience, to every desire; know it. Never renounce prematurely.

This happens: you are not really frustrated with life, but have become greedy for religious promises. You have not known that life is divine, but you have become enchanted with religious heavens. Then everything will be difficult, because you have not gone through the first part. The second part will be very difficult.

So go through the first part and the second is very easy. The second is only difficult when the first has not been traveled completely. Then you ask, "How to meditate?" Then you say, "The mind goes on working." Then you say, "The thought process is continuing. It cannot be stopped. How can it be stopped?" Desire is there, so desire will go on creating thoughts. The first part has not been fulfilled.

A mature spiritual seeker is one who has gone without any fear in life, and knows every nook and corner. He has known it so much that nothing has remained unknown. Then meditation is easy, because there is no one to create thoughts, there is no one to create desires. Just by shouting Hoo! you are in the present. Any simple device will make you stand still. The staff of the Zen masters is raised and you are in the present. Even such a simple device can help if the first part is fulfilled.

One day the Zen monk Rinzai is speaking in a temple. He has gone into a sermon, but someone is disturbing him there. So Rinzai stops and asks, "What is the matter?" The man stands up and says, "What is soul?" Rinzai takes his staff and asks the people to give him way. The man begins to tremble. He never expected that such will be the answer.

Rinzai comes to him, takes hold of his neck with both hands and presses it. The man's eyes bulge out. He goes on pressing and asks, "Who are you? Close your eyes!" The man closes his eyes. Rinzai goes on asking, "Who are you?" The man opens his eyes and laughs and bows down. He says, "I know you have really answered what is soul."

Such a simple device! But the man was ready. Someone asks Rinzai, "Would you do the same thing when anybody asks?" He says, "That man was ready. He was not just asking for the question's sake, he was ready. The first part was fulfilled; he was really asking.

This was a life and death question to him: `What is soul?' The first part was fulfilled completely. He was disillusioned completely of life, and he was asking, `What is soul?'

This life has proved just a death to him; now he is asking, `What is life?' So no answer from me would have been meaningful. I helped him to just stand still in the present."

Of course, when someone presses your neck just on the verge of killing you, you cannot be in the future, you cannot be in the past. You will be here and now. It is dangerous to miss the moment. If you just say to such a man, "Go deep and know who you are," the man becomes transformed. He goes into samadhi; he stands still in the moment.

If you are in the present, even for a single moment, you have known, you have encountered, and you will never be able to lose the track again.

Spiritual feeling is to know what is -- what is all this. Not that, this. What is all this -- this me speaking, this you hearing, this whole? What is this? Just stand, be deep in this. Let it open to you, and let yourself open to it. Then there is a meeting. That meeting is the seeking.

That meeting is the whole search. That is why we have called it yoga. Yoga means meeting. The very word yoga means meeting -- joining again, becoming one once more.

But so-called spiritual seekers are not seeking any spirituality. They are only projecting their desires in a new dimension. And no desire can be projected in this spiritual dimension, because this spiritual dimension is only open to those who are not desiring. So those who desire go on creating new illusions, new dreams.

First know that desire is just running and reaching nowhere. Then stand still, and know what is. Everything is open. Only we are closed in our desires. The whole existence is open. All doors are open, but we are running with such a speed that we cannot see. And the more we become frustrated, the more we increase the speed, because the mind says,

"You are not running fast enough. That is why you are not reaching." The mind will not say, "Because you are running, you will not reach." How can it say that? It is illogical.

The mind says, "Because you are not running fast enough, that is why you are not reaching. So run faster. Those who are running faster, they are reaching." And ask those who are running faster. Their minds are saying the same thing: "Run faster still. Those who are really running, they are reaching."

No one is reaching, but always someone is ahead of you and someone is behind. You have gone ahead of someone, but wherever you are, someone is always ahead. Why?

Because desire runs in a circle. We are running in a circle. So if you run very fast, even the person who was behind may come to be ahead of you. Because we are running in a circle, someone is going to be ahead always, and the feeling will be there that you are not running fast enough, that someone else is reaching and you are losing.

We in this land knew so many truths. We called this world sansar. Sansar means the wheel -- not only are you running, but the wheel itself is also running. It is not a steady circle. Even if you stand, the wheel will go on. So one has not only to stop, but to step out of the wheel.

This stepping out is sannyas. Stopping is not enough. You must step off the wheel, because even if you are not running, the wheel will go on rotating. And it is such a great wheel, with such a force, that you will be running even though you are standing in one place. To step off means sannyas -- not only to stop running, but to step off. Do not be on the wheel. Just come out of the rut. Be a witness to it. Only then will you know what this wheel is made of , why it goes on running even when you are not running.

The wheel is created by infinite desires, by all desires that have ever existed, that are in existence today -- all the desires of all persons, of all beings who have ever existed. You will die, but your desires have created waves which will go on. You will not be here, but your desires have created ripples in the noesphere. You will not be here, but I have said something; these words, these sounds, will go on vibrating infinitely.

Whatever you have desired -- fulfilled, unfulfilled, it makes no difference -- the moment the desire has come into your mind, into your heart, you have created ripples, waves.

They will go on. This wheel, this sansar, is constituted of all the desires that have existed and all the desires that are in existence. This is such a great force, of all the dead and of all the living, that you cannot stand still. They will push you, you have to run.

It is just like in a crowd. When the whole crowd is running you cannot stand still. You are just pushed to run. You are safe if you are running; if you are not running you will be killed. It is not that your energy is needed to run. If you do not make any effort, the crowd will push you. This is the wheel -- the wheel of desires. You must have seen the Tibetan picture of the wheel. It is beautifully depicted -- the whole wheel of desires.

To step out of the wheel is sannyas. You just come out of the crowd. You just step down.

You just sit by the side of the road, you say goodbye. Only then do you know the phenomenon of what is the wheel. Only then do you know that some persons are running in a circle, they will pass you so many times -- then you know that this is a wheel.

A Buddha, a Mahavira, could call this world sansar, a wheel, because they knew that it was a wheel when they stepped aside. It is not that you are running in a line, it is a circle -

- repeating the same desires, the same days, the same nights, the same disillusionments, and going on in the whirlwind. Pushed from behind, pulled from the front, you go on.

Sannyas means to step aside, to step out. This is the second part of sannyas. Sannyas has two parts. The first part is knowing the frustration, knowing the anguish. This is the miracle: once you know that the world is anguish, the world is frustration, you are not frustrated at all. The frustration comes because you think the world is not frustrating. The anguish comes because you hope even when you know it is hopeless. That hoping is nonsense. When you know this, then you do not feel hopeless at all. Then there is no need to feel so. Then there is nothing to feel hopeless about -- there is no hope.

That is why Buddhism could not be understood. The Western mind could only interpret it as pessimism. It was a natural fallacy. Buddhism is not pessimistic. But to the Western mind it appeared pessimistic, because of the saying that the world is frustrating, the world is dukkha -- misery. This makes you pessimistic. But this is not the case. The earth has not known so happy, so blissful a person as Buddha, or, it has known very few such people. He was not a pessimist at all. So what is the secret? The secret is this: if you know this world is dukkha, then you do not expect anything except dukkha. Expectation only creates pessimism. When there is no expectation, then there is no need to be in misery. Once life is known as miserable, you will never be in misery, you will be out of it.

So a sannyasin is not one who is frustrated. A sannyasin is one who has known the world as frustrating. He is not frustrated, he is most at ease. There is nothing to frustrate him.

Everything that happens, he knows it happens so. Even death is not an anguish to him, because death is a certainty.

Once you know the nature of this whirling wheel -- of this world, of this so-called life, of this repetitive vicious circle -- then you will become a silent and a blissful person. Now you do not hope, so there is no feeling of hopelessness. You are at ease, composed. The more you are at ease, the more you are composed. The more you are in the moment, the more you are non-wavering, standing still.

In this very moment, here and now, is all that is to be known and realized -- moksha, God, the reality -- in this moment. So in a way, spiritual seeking is not for something. It is not for some object. It is to know what is, and the knowing comes once you are in the moment.

To be in the moment is the secret door, or you may say the open secret. To be in the moment is the open secret.

I Am the Gate

Chapter #4

Chapter title: Love, grace and divinity

20 April 1971 am in Bombay, India

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Question 1

BELOVED MASTER,

QUALITIES OF LOVE AND GRACE HAVE BEEN ATTRIBUTED TO THE DIVINE.

DO THESE QUALITIES EXIST? DOES THE DIVINE EXIST? CAN THIS BE

EXPLAINED?

To say that the divine exists will not be right, because all that exists is divine. Each and everything exists, only the divine cannot be said to exist. The divine is existence. To be divine and to exist is to say the same thing in two different ways. So the quality of existence cannot be attributed to the divine.

Everything else can be said to exist because it can go into non-existence. I can be said to exist because I will go into non-existence, you can be said to exist because there were times when you were not in existence. But the divine cannot be said to exist because the divine is always there. Its non-existence is inconceivable, so existence cannot be attributed to the divine. I will say existence is divine, or divineness means existence.

Nothing exists which is not divine. You may know it or not, it makes no difference as far as your divinity is concerned. If you know it, then you become existence, bliss. If you do not know it, you go on and continue in agony, but you are divine. When asleep, when ignorant, then too you are divine. Even a stone is divine, unknown to itself. Existence is divine.

All those who try to prove that God exists do not know. This is sheer nonsense to prove that God exists. Those who try to prove that God does not exist are in the same boat. No one will prove that existence exists. If you say it this way, if you ask me whether existence exists, the question will be absurd.

To me, when someone says that God exists, it means the same thing, that existence exists.

God and existence are equivalent, synonyms. Once you have become aware of what existence is, you will not call it existence. Then you will call it God. The moment one becomes aware of the total being that is, then you cannot use the existence. You become more intimate with it, so you have to use a personal name. You call it God. To call existence God only means this and nothing else: that you can be in an intimate relationship with it, that you can be in personal contact with it.

It is not something dead. It is not something to which you cannot be related. It is not something which is indifferent to you. When we say existence is God, we mean to say existence is intimately related with us. We are related with it, and it is not indifferent to us. But as far as the human mind is concerned, we do not know a more accurate word to use than God.

If you ask some orthodox Jew, he will not use the full word God. He will only use G-D

the O is dropped. If you ask them, "Why do you use G-D, why is the O dropped?" they say, "Whatever we say is always less than what is. So O is dropped just to symbolize that we are using a word which cannot convey the whole, which cannot be totally comprehensive." The O is symbolic of zero, symbolic of perfection, symbolic of totality, the whole. So the O is dropped, only G-D remains.

Whenever we use any word, it is never meaningful or comprehensive of the whole. It just indicates not something about the divine, but about the human mind. If you say èxistence', then you use a term which is neutral. You can be indifferent to it, and existence can be indifferent to you. When you use èxistence' there cannot be a dialogue between you and existence. Then there is no bridge. But those who have known existence know there is a dialogue with everything that exists; you can be in an intimate relationship, in love. This possibility of dialogue, this possibility of relationship, this possibility of being in love, makes the term `God' more meaningful than èxistence', but they mean the same.

So I will not say that the divine exists, I will say that all that exists is divine. Existence is divine. To exist is to be divine. Nothing is which is not divine. Nothing can be which is not divine. We may know it, we may not know it; we may be aware, we may not be aware. It makes no difference.

Another thing you asked is whether the qualities of love and grace can be attributed to God. Again, no qualities can be attributed to him, because qualities can be attributed only if the contrary is possible. You can say, "Someone loves me," because someone is capable of not loving. If he is incapable of not loving, you will never say, "He loves me."

Then to say that someone loves you carries no meaning. If I cannot be in love, I can only be in hatred. Then I can say, "I love you." If I am incapable of being in hatred, then the quality of love cannot be attributed to me. Love then is not a quality, but nature. And what is the difference between quality and nature?

A quality is something which can be in manifestation and which can be in non-manifestation. A quality is something of which you can be deprived. You can exist with the quality, you can exist without the quality. It is not your intrinsic existence. It is something attributed to you, it is something added to you. It is not your nature.

Nature is something without which you can never exist. So when someone says, "God is loving," he is not saying exactly the right thing. Jesus is right when he says, "God is love," not loving. Then love becomes his nature, not a quality. It cannot be replaced. God can be love, love can be God, because love is the intrinsic nature of the divine.

Love is not something added, it cannot be. It is not possible to conceive of God without love. If you conceive of God without love, you are conceiving of a God who is not a God.

To conceive of God without love is to conceive of a God without godliness, because the moment love is erased there is no godliness left behind. So again, I will not say that love is an attribute. Neither will I say that grace is an attribute; they are nature.

Somewhere Aesop has told us in a fable that by a riverside a scorpion requested of a turtle, "Please carry me to the other shore on your back." The turtle says, "Don't be foolish. Don't think me stupid. You may sting me in the middle of the stream, and I will drown and die." The scorpion said, "I am not foolish; rather, you are foolish, because you do not know simple logic. I belong to the Aristotelian school, I am a logician. So I will teach you a simple lesson in logic. If I sting you and if you are drowned and dead, I will also die with you. So be sensible, be logical. I will not sting you. I cannot sting you."

The turtle thought for a moment and then said, "Okay! It seems sensible. Hop on me, and off we go." And exactly in midstream the sting comes. They both are sinking down.

Before the turtle dies it asks, "Where has your logic gone? You have done a very illogical thing, and you yourself said that this is simple logic, that you would never do it, and now you have done it. Tell me before I die. Let me learn another lesson of your logic."

The scorpion says, "It is not a question of logic at all, it is just my nature. I cannot be without it. I can talk about it, but I cannot be without it. I am incapable, really."

Something which you are incapable of doing or not doing indicates your nature. We cannot conceive of the divine as being non-loving or without grace. The love is always there, the grace is always there. We use two words -- love and grace -- because of our linguistic imitations. Otherwise, one word will do. Either you call it love or you call it grace.

We use two words because with love we always expect something in return, but not with grace. Whenever we love someone, something in return is expected. It is always a bargain, howsoever subtle. Told or not told, made known or not made known, it is an inner bargain. Something is expected in return. That is why we use two words, `love' and

`grace', because with grace nothing is expected in return, and God never expects anything in return from us.

But as far as divine existence is concerned, love and grace are both one and the same. He is loving, and that is his grace. He is always with his grace, that means he is loving. But these are not qualities which can be attributed to him. This is his nature, he cannot be otherwise. But we make distinctions because someone is known to have received grace, someone has become beloved to the divine. That again is a fallacious statement. God is always grace and always love. But we are not always in the receptive mood.

Unless we become receptive we cannot receive it. So when you are not receiving divine grace, it is not anything lacking on the part of the divine, but something like a barrier you are carrying. You are not vulnerable to it. God's nature is to be graceful, to be grace itself.

But as far as we are concerned, we are not naturally receptive, we are naturally aggressive. And these are two different things.

If the mind is aggressive, then it cannot be receptive. Only a non-aggressive mind can be receptive. So all the qualities which carry any type of aggressiveness with them ought to be dropped, and one has to be just a door to receive. Just like a womb, one has to be in total receptivity. Then grace is always flowing, and love is always flowing.

From everywhere grace is flowing. Every moment, everywhere, grace is flowing. It is the nature of existence. But we are not receptive, that is the nature of mind. Mind is aggressive. That is why I always insist that meditation means no-mind. Meditation means non-aggressive receptivity -- openness. But logic can never be receptive, logic is aggressive. You are doing something, then you cannot be receptive. You can be receptive only when you are not doing.

When you are in a non-doing state, absolutely non-doing, simply existing, then you are open from, all sides, and from everywhere comes the flow of grace. It is always coming, but our doors are closed. We are always escaping the grace. Even if it knocks on our doors, we escape.

There is a reason why we go on escaping: the moment mind is born, it is always safeguarding itself. Our whole training, our whole education, the whole culture of mankind is always so. Our whole mind, our whole culture, is based on aggression, competition, conflict. We have not yet become so matured as to learn the secret of cooperation -- that the world exists in cooperativeness, not in conflict; that the other one, the neighboring one, is not just a competitor, but a complementary existence which makes me richer. Without him I will be less. Even if a single individual dies in the world I am a bit less. The richness that was created by him, the richness carried into the atmosphere, is no more. Somewhere, something has become vacant. So we exist in a coexistence, not in a conflict.

But the mind, the collective unconscious, is always thinking in terms of conflict.

Whenever someone is there, the enemy is there. The enemy is the basic assumption. You can develop your friendship, but that will be developed. The basic assumption is the enemy. Friendship can be added to the enemy, but the base in inimical, and you can never relax.

That is why you can never rely on your friendships, because at the base there is enemy.

You have only made a fake friendship, you have added something artificially. But somewhere at the base you know always that there is the enemy -- the other is the enemy.

So even with a friend you are not at ease, even with your lover you are not at ease.

Whenever there is someone, you are tense -- the enemy is there. Of course, the tension becomes less if you have created a facade of friendship. It is less, but it is there.

This attitude has reasons as to why it has developed so -- evolutionary reasons. Man has come out of the jungle. The whole evolution has seen so many stages, so many animal stages. Physiologically also the body knows, because the body is not yours. When I say my body, I am claiming something which cannot be claimed. My body has come through centuries of development. The basic cell is inherited, in my basic cell I inherit all that existed behind me. All the animals, all the trees, all that has existed has contributed to my basic cell.

In my basic cell there is accumulated the whole experience of conflict, struggle, violence, aggression. Each cell carries the whole evolutionary struggle that has preceded.

Physiologically also, mentally also, your mind has not evolved just in this life, it has come to you in a long journey. It may be even longer than the body itself. Because the body evolved on this earth, it cannot be more than forty million years old. It cannot be older than the earth.

But the first mind came from another planet, mind has still deeper evolutionary experiences. And all those experiences make you violent and aggressive. One has to be aware of this total phenomenon. Unless one is aware, one cannot be free from his own past. The whole problem is that one has to be free from his own past, and this past is something very great -- incomprehensibly great.

All that has lived is still living with you. All that has been is still in you in seed, in potentiality. You come from the past, you are the past. This past-oriented mind goes on creating aggression, goes on thinking in terms of aggression.

So when religion says be receptive, the advice goes unheard. The mind cannot think of how it can be receptive. Mind has known only one thing in which it has been receptive, and that is death, in which the mind has not been able to do anything, then it could not act. The only thing that the mind has known in which it has to be receptive is death. So whenever someone says, "Be receptive," somewhere in the shadows you feel death. If I say, "Be receptive," the mind will then say, "Then you will die. Be aggressive if you want to exist and survive. The fittest survives. The most aggressive one survives. If you are just receptive, you will die."

That is why receptivity is never understood -- not heard, not understood. This receptivity has been said in so many ways. Someone says, "Surrender." It means to be receptive.

Surrender means do not be aggressive. When someone says, "Be faithful," it means to be receptive.

Do not be aggressive through your logic. Receive existence as it is. Let it come in. The mind cannot love, because love means to be receptive to someone. Even in love we are aggressive. If you ask a friend, he will say love is nothing but a sort of violence, a mutual violence in which two partners have agreed to become involved. And when a friend says this, he is not just saying nonsense. He means it, and he knows something.

Whenever you are in a sexual act, whenever you are in intimate love, the actions that follow are just like fighting -- you are fighting. If you go deep in any act which we know as love, if you go deep in it, you will find animal roots. Kissing can become biting anytime. If you go on kissing, if it goes deep, it will be biting. It is just a mind form.

Sometimes lovers will say, "I want to eat you" -- a very loving expression. Really, they try. Sometimes it goes deep, becomes intensive, then sex is just a fight.

So two partners, two sexual partners, will always alternate between love and fighting. In the evening they are fighting, in the night they are loving; in the morning they are fighting, in the evening they are loving; in the night they are fighting... This circle will go on -- fighting and loving, fighting and loving. If you ask D.H. Lawrence, he will say, "If you cannot fight with your lover, you cannot love." The fight makes it intense. It is just creating a situation.

The human mind as it is, as it has come out of the past, cannot love because it cannot be receptive. It can only be aggressive. So it is not that you are loving -- you always demand love. And even if you act loving, it is only to force the demand. There is a cunning logic.

It is always demanding, "Give me love." And if I give you love, that is only to demand, to make the demand more forceful. The human mind cannot love.

So if you ask those who have really known love, if you ask Buddha, he will say, "Unless the mind dies, love cannot be born." And unless there is love, you cannot feel grace, because only in love do you become open.

And you cannot love a particular individual because it is impossible to be open to a particular individual and closed to all. This is one of the most impossible things to do.

If I say, "I love you," it is just like saying, "Whenever you are beside me I breathe, otherwise I do not breathe." If this were the case, then another time you will come to me, and you will find me dead. But breathing is not something which I can do and not do; love is not something like that. But whatever is known to us as love is like that. That is why sooner or later a lover will find that the other's love has gone dead, and both will know this. Both will know that there is no love now.

The more lovers know each other, the more unfortunate is the situation. The more they become acquainted with each other, the lesser the hope and the more the disillusionment.

They know that the love has gone dead. You so narrowed it, demanded so narrow a passage, that it could not be alive.

One has to be loving, not a lover. This loving must come as an intensive, natural manifestation, not as something added as an attribute, as a quality. It must come as an inner flowering, not as something perfumed from without. This love can happen. One has to be aware of one's total past. And the moment you have transcended, you are beyond it, because that which is aware is not the mind.

That which becomes aware of the mind is consciousness which carries no past with it --

which is eternal, which is always in the now, which is always new, which is always here and now. That consciousness is known only when you become aware of your mind. Then you are not identified with your mind. There is a gap between you and your mind. You know this is the mind -- this aggressiveness, this hatred, this whole hell, is the mind.

And this mind goes on continuing. This mind will go on continuing, unless you become aware. And this is a miracle: that the moment you become aware the continuity is broken.

Now you will be, but not of the past. Now you will be of the moment -- fresh, young, new. Now each moment you will die, and you will be reborn.

Somewhere, St. Augustine says, "I die every moment." One who has become aware of one's whole mind and its whole process, the continuity, the past continuing itself and carrying on and forcing itself into the future -- one who has become aware of this will die each moment. Each moment the past will be thrown out. One will be fresh, new and young, ready to jump into the new moment that is coming on. Only this fresh consciousness, this young consciousness -- eternally young -- is receptive, is open. There are no walls to it, no boundary walls to it. It is completely open, just like space.

The Upanishads call it the inner space of the heart. There is a space, simply a space. That is consciousness, sakshi -- the expression of awareness. This transcendence of the mind, of the past, makes you open and vulnerable from all sides, to all the dimensions. Then grace is falling on you from everywhere -- from the trees, from the sky, from human beings, from animals, from everywhere. Even a dead stone is graceful then. You feel grace falling toward you.

Then you cannot say this is simply an existence. Then you say, "This is God." This metamorphosis, this transformation of your own mind, this transformation of the dead mind into an eternally living consciousness, from the junk of the mind to the open sky of the consciousness... this transformation changes your attitude toward existence. Then the whole existence is just a flow of love -- friendly, compassionate, loving, graceful. Then you are loved through thousands of hands.

So Hindu religion has created deities with a thousand hands. It means that from everywhere is the hand; nowhere can you go where the divine hand will not be upon you.

Everywhere is the embrace. You can go everywhere, now there is nowhere where the divine is not.

Nanak went to Kaaba. He was tired when he reached the mosque, and he just put down his small bundle, whatever it was, and went to sleep. The priest was furious because his legs were toward the holy stone. So he dragged him out and said, "What foolishness are you doing here? You do not even have this much respect -- that the legs should not be toward the holy stone. Are you an atheist?" Nanak's sleep was broken, and he sat up. He said, "Put my legs in that direction where God is not, and do not disturb me."

There is no direction where God is not, because the direction itself is divine, existence is divine, but you must be open to it.

This whole tragedy, this dilemma of the human mind, is that the mind is closed. The mind is closed and it goes on searching for that which will be freedom. The mind is an imprisonment, and this imprisonment goes on seeking freedom. This is the whole tragedy of human existence.

This mind is a prison. It cannot find any freedom anywhere. It must die before freedom comes to you. But we have taken the mind as us, we are identified with it. This death of mind never happens to us, it never occurs to us.

Mind is something other than "me." But we go on being identified with the mind. How then can you come out of the past if you have become identified with the past? The one who has forgotten that he is a prisoner is the most imprisoned, because there is no possibility of his freedom then. But even that prisoner may become aware. An even greater prisoner is the one who has become one with the imprisonment, one with the prison, who has become identified. The walls of the prison are his body. The whole arrangement of the imprisonment is his mind.

Be aware, be conscious of your mind. And you can be, because you are something different. The dream can be broken, because you are not the dream. The dream is occurring to you, but you are not the dream. You can shatter this imprisonment and come out, because you are not the imprisonment. But there is such a long association with the body and the mind.

And understand this well: that the body is new, each birth is new. Each beginning is new, but the mind is old. It is continuing from your past births. That is why if someone says your body is ill, you are never angry, you feel that he is sympathetic to you. But if someone says your mind is mad, your mind is ill, you are mentally deranged, then you become angry. Then you do not feel he is sympathetic to you. He does not seem friendly.

With the body this is a new association, only of this birth. Other bodies have died with which you have been in association, but this body association is broken with each death.

It has been broken so many times that one thinks himself a body, even he is not identified with his body. So if his body falls ill, something else has fallen ill.

I was reading about an alcoholic's life. He was sentenced so many times... For the tenth time the same judge is sending him to jail. So the judge says in his judgment, "It is only the alcohol, the alcohol, the alcohol, which is the root cause of your problems." The man says, "Thank you, sir. You are the only person who has not made me responsible.

Everyone else says I am at fault. You are the only man who understands that alcohol is at fault, that I am not responsible at all."

With the body, if there is some fault, you do not feel you are responsible. But if the mind feels some fault, then you feel that you are responsible. The identity is keen and deeper. It has to be, because the body is the outer layer of your being. The mind is the inner layer. It is the inner you, you can be more identified with it. It has been with you for so many lives. The mind is the old, always the old, the continuity. But you are not the mind. And this can be known, and there is no difficulty in knowing about it.

Just be a witness. Whenever the mind is working, just sit aside and see it -- how it works.

Do not interfere. Do not come in. The coming in will again create the strength which makes the identity. Do not come in. Do not say anything. Do not be a judge. Just sit aside as if the traffic is passing on the road and you are sitting by the side, just looking. Do not make any judgement. And if even for a single moment you can sit aside and look at the mind's traffic, the continuous traffic, you will see the gap -- the gap between you and the mind. Then this gap can be made greater, wider unbridgeable.

When the gap is such, when the interval is such, then there is no bridge. You have seen from all possible points that the circle of the mind is somewhere where you are not. You are always inside -- somewhere else. When this is not a theory but a realized fact, then you are open. Then you have jumped into an inner space, into the inner sky, into the inner space of the heart. You have jumped in. Now you are there, and you are open.

You will know then that you have always been open. You have been sleeping in an open sky but dreaming that you are in prison, and thoughts are not any other substance than dreams are made of. They are of the same stuff. In the day you call them thoughts, and at night you call them dreams. But because the thoughts are transparent, identifying becomes easier. With anything transparent you can forget it is there.

If there is a totally transparent glass between you and me, I will forget the glass. I will think that I am seeing you directly. It means that I become so totally identified with the glass that it is not there. My eyes and the glass have become one.

Thoughts are transparent, more transparent than any glass you can look through. They are not at all a hindrance then. That is why the identity becomes deeper. The transparency of thoughts is so close to you, you forget totally that there exists a mind which is always around you, always between you and the world. Always, wherever you are -- between you and your lover, between you and your friend, between you and your God -- it is always there.

Wherever you go, your mind is a step ahead of you. It is not only that it follows you like a shadow, it is always one step ahead of you, it has reached before you. But you are never aware of it because it is so transparent.

Whenever you are entering a temple, your mind has entered before you. When you are going to a friend, when you are embracing him, your mind has embraced before. And this you can know, your mind is always rehearsing. That stepping ahead is always rehearsing.

Before you speak, it is always rehearsing what to speak. Before you act, it is always rehearsing what to act. Before you do anything or do not do anything, it is rehearsing.

The rehearsal means that the mind is preparing itself before you, it is always one step ahead. And that is a constant, transparent barrier between you and everything else that you will come across, that you will encounter.

Thus an encounter can never be real, authentic, because something else is always in between. Neither can you love, nor can you pray. You cannot do anything which requires the removal of this barrier. The grace is not felt because the barrier is there, always surrounding you like a transparent shell. Grace or love or existence are not open to them.

When someone is open, he becomes the receiver. But then too we will not say that he has become a receiver. The ego is competitive. We will say he has received grace. We are denying him anything. Now we say, "God has become graceful to him."

It is good that we should say God is graceful because now nothing exists except God.

Once the barrier is not, there is nothing upon which to stand the ego. He cannot say "I,"

so he cannot say, "I have become capable of receiving grace." He can only say "I" have received because "I" was not there. "I" was the barrier. So once "I" is not, he can always say, "It is due to God's grace. What can I do? I is no more."

It is right when he says so, but it is not right when we say so. We are again deceiving ourselves. We are deceiving ourselves because we are not recognizing a great transformation. The ego will not let us recognize it. The ego will say, "God is graceful to him and not to me." We create this very misguiding notion that God is graceful to someone. He is grace.

If someone is ready to receive, he is always giving. He is not even ready to give -- he is giving. When you are not receiving, then too he is giving. When you are closed, then too he is raining, his blessings are raining. Be open and know it. Be conscious and be open, and only then you can know what love is, what grace is, what compassion is. And they are one and the same thing, they are not different things. Basically they are one and the same.

Only then can you know what prayer is. When the barrier is not, then prayer is not to ask for something, it is not begging. Then it is thanksgiving. So wherever there is a prayer that begs for something, the barrier is there. The begging is the barrier, the mind is the barrier.

Whenever there is a prayer which thanks for something, not even for something but thanks for all that is... Whenever grace is received, you feel gratitude. On God's part it is grace, on the receiver's end it is gratitude.

We have not known gratitude at all. We cannot know unless we know grace. We cannot be grateful unless we know grace. And this can be known.

Do not begin a search, do not begin an inquiry for the divine, because that is metaphysical and useless. It has been going on for centuries that the philosophers have been thinking about what are the attributes of God. So there have been metaphysicians who will say, "This is an attribute of God and that is not."

Someone will say he is attributeless -- nirguna. Someone will say he is with attributes --

saguna. But how can we know what we have not known ourselves? And how can we decide whether God is with attributes or without attributes, whether he is loving or not?

Just by thinking we are going to decide it? This is not possible.

So metaphysics will lead us into absurdity. When human imagination becomes logical, then we think that we have achieved something. We have not achieved anything.

Imagination is ours, and logic is ours. We have not known anything.

Always begin with yourself if you are to escape from metaphysics. And if you cannot escape from metaphysics, you cannot be religious. Metaphysics and religion are opposite pillars. Do not begin with God at all. Always begin with your mind -- where you are.

Always begin from there. If you begin from your mind, then something can be done.

Then you can know something, then something can be transformed. Then it is within your capacity to do something. And if your capacity to do something with yourself is used completely, you will grow, you will expand, your barrier will be gone, your consciousness will be naked. Only then can you begin with the divine.

When you have begun, when you are in contact with the divine, then you know what grace is, what gratitude is. Grace is that which you feel showering upon you from everywhere, and gratitude is that which you feel within your heart, at the center of that space upon which the whole is showering his love, his compassion, his grace. Only then is it meaningful to say, "Oh God" or Hare Ram. Otherwise our words are just words --

not known from existence, but only learned from language, learned from the scriptures.

So I will not say what are the attributes of God. As far as I am concerned, as far as I know, God has no attributes. But it does not mean that when we come in contact with him we will not feel his love, we will not feel his grace. It only means that these are not his attributes, these are his nature. This is how he happens to be, and he cannot be otherwise. When you are close to him, when you are just giving back to him, then too he is the same.

It is just like light -- your eyes are closed, but the light is still there. It will not go into nonexistence just because your eyes are closed. Open your eyes! The light is there, it has always been there. Begin with your eyes.

You can never think anything about light. How can you think? And any thinking, any contemplating, will be wrong; from the very beginning it will be wrong. You cannot think, you have not known.

Thinking about that which is known will go on in circles. It can never touch the unknown, it can never conceive of the unknown. The unknown is not for thinking. That is why thinkers will go on denying God, because he is not known to them. When someone says God is not, it is not that he is against God, it is only that he is a man who thinks; it is nothing else. He is not against God, because to be against God will have to be preceded by knowing him. He is not against God. One who knows cannot be against. One who has known -- how can he be against? It only shows that he just goes on thinking. And thinking cannot conceive of the unknown, so he denies it.

Do not begin with God. That is a false beginning, it always leads to nonsense. All metaphysics is nonsense. It goes on thinking about things about which nothing can be thought. It goes on giving statements about the existence, about which no statements can be given. Only silence can be a statement about it.

But if you begin with yourself, then much that is solid can be said. If you begin with yourself, then you begin with the right beginning.

Religion means to begin with oneself, and metaphysics means to begin with God. So metaphysics is madness -- of course, with a method. All madmen are metaphysicians without method, and all metaphysicians are mad but with methodology. Because of their methodology, they seem to be talking sense, and they go on talking nonsense.

Begin with yourself. Do not ask whether God exists. Ask whether I exists. Do not ask whether love is an attribute of the divine. Ask whether love is an attribute of mine --

whether "I" have ever loved. Do not ask about grace. Ask whether I have ever felt gratitude, because that is the pole which is just nearby, which is just a step from us. We can know it.

Always begin from the beginning. Never begin from the end, because then it is no beginning at all. One who begins from the beginning always reaches the end, and one who begins from the end does not even reach the beginning, because to begin from the end is impossible. You can just go on and on.

Make God not a metaphysical notion but a religious experience. Go inward. He is there always waiting for you. But then you have to do something with yourself. That doing is meditation; that doing is yoga. Do something with yourself. As you are, you are closed.

As you are, you are dead. As you are, you are not in any dialogue -- you cannot be in any dialogue -- with the divine, with the existence. So transform yourself. Open some doors, break open some spaces, make some windows, jump outside of your mind, your past.

And then it is not only that you will know, but you will live. You will live with the grace of the divine; you live with the love, you will be part of it, just a ripple of it. And once you have become a ripple of it, a wave of the divine, only then is there authentic divineness.

So I am not a metaphysician at all. You can call me an anti-metaphysician. Religion is existential. Begin from yourself, begin transforming your aggressive mind. Let it be just receptive.

I would like to tell you... Buddha tried for six years continuously to know what the divine is, and it cannot be said that he left anything undone. He did everything that is humanly possible, even some things which seem humanly impossible. He did everything.

Whatever was known up to his day he practiced. Whatever methods were taught to him, he became a master of them.

He went to all the gurus that existed in his time, to everyone. And whatever they could teach, he learned, he practiced. And then he said, "Anything more, Sir?" And the guru said, "Now you can go, because all that I could give you I have given, and I cannot say, as I say in other cases, that you have not practiced. You have practiced. This is all that I can give." Buddha said, "I have not known the divine yet."

With each guru this happened. Then he left all the gurus. Then he invented his own methods. Continuously, for six years, he was in a struggle of life and death. He did everything that could be done. Then, at last, he was so tired of doing, so deadly tired, that one day when he was taking his evening bath in the Niranjana River near Bodhgaya, he felt so weak and so tired that he could not come out of the river. He just clung to a root of a tree and a thought came to his mind, "I have become so weak, I cannot even cross this small river. How will I be alive to cross the whole ocean of the world? I have done everything, and I have not found the divine. I have only tired my body."

He felt that he was on the verge of death. At that very moment he felt that he had done everything, and now there was nothing to do. He relaxed, and new energy came upon him because of his relaxation. All that was suppressed through those six years flowered. He came out of the river, he felt just like a feather, a bird's feather -- weightless. He relaxed under a Bodhi tree.

It was a bright fullmoon night. Someone came -- a girl, a shudra girl named Sujata. The name shows that the girl must have been a shudra because to have the name Sujata means she has not come from a higher caste. Sujata means wellborn. She had promised the Bodhi tree to pay it some homage daily, so she has come with some sweets.

Buddha is there -- tired, pale, bloodless, but relaxed, absolutely unburdened -- and it is a fullmoon night with nobody around. The girl, Sujata, felt that the deity of the tree had come to receive her homage. Had it been another day, Buddha could have refused. He would not rest in the night, he would not eat any food. But today he was totally relaxed.

He took the food, and he slept. This was the first night after six years that he really slept.

He was relaxed with nothing to do. Then there was no worry. There was no tomorrow even, because tomorrow exists only because one has to do something. If one has not to do anything, then there is no tomorrow. Then the moment is enough.

Buddha slept, and in the morning, at five o'clock, when the last star was withering away, he was out of the sleep. He saw the last star disappearing, with no mind, because when you have nothing to do there is no mind. The mind is just a faculty for doing something, a technical faculty. No mind, nothing to do, no effort on his part, indifferent to whether he was alive or dead, he just opened his eyes, and he began to dance. He had come to that knowing to which he could not come through so many efforts.

Whenever someone would ask him how he achieved, he would say, "The more I tried to achieve, the more I was at a loss. I could not achieve. So how can I say I have achieved?

The more I tried, the more I was involved. I could not achieve. The mind was trying to transcend itself, which was impossible. It is just like trying to be a father to yourself, just trying to give birth to yourself."

So Buddha would say, "I cannot say I achieved. I can only say I tried so much that I was annihilated. I tried so much that any effort became absurd. And the moment came when I was not trying, when the mind was not, when I was not thinking. Then there was no future because there was no past. Both were always together. Past is behind, future is in front; they are always conjoined. If one drops, the other drops simultaneously. Then there was no future, no past, no mind. I was mindless, I was I-less. Then something happened, and I cannot say that this something happened in that moment. I can only say that this was always happening, only I was not aware. It was always happening, only I was closed.

So I cannot say I have achieved something."

Buddha said, "I can only say I have lost something -- the ego, the mind -- I have not achieved anything at all. Now I know that all that I have was always there. It was in every layer, it was in every stone, in every flower, but now I recognize it was always so. Only I was blind. So I have lost my blindness; I have not achieved anything, I have lost something."

If you begin with the divine, then you begin to achieve. If you begin with yourself, then you begin to lose. Things will begin to disappear, and ultimately you will disappear. And when you are not, the divine is -- with all its grace, with all its love, with all its compassion, but only when you are not.

Your nonexistence is the categorical condition. For no one can it be relaxed. It is categorical, it is the absolute. You are the barrier. Fall down, and then you know. And only when you know, you know. You cannot understand it, I cannot explain it to you. I cannot make you understand it. So whatever I am saying, I am not saying anything metaphysical. I am only trying to show you that you must begin with yourself.

If you begin with yourself, you will end with the divine, because that is your other part, the other pole. But begin from this bank. Do not begin from the other, where you are not.

You cannot begin from there. Begin from where you are, and the more you will go deep, the less you will be.

The more you will know yourself, the less a self you will be. And once you have come to total understanding about yourself, you will be annihilated, you will go into nonexistence, you will be totally negative -- not. And in that not, in that total negation, you will know the grace which is always falling, which is always raining down from eternity. You will know the love which is always around you. It has always been, but you have not paid any attention to it. Be annihilated, and you will be aware of it.

I Am the Gate

Chapter #5

Chapter title: Meditation and the paths to inner awakening 28 April 1971 pm in Bombay, India

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Question 1

BELOVED MASTER,

HOW DOES MEDITATION REALLY WORK? HOW CAN ONE ACHIEVE A CONSTANT MEDITATIVE STATE? AND IN WHAT WAY DOES KUNDALINI PRACTICE RELATE TO MEDITATION?

Meditation is an adventure, an adventure into the unknown -- the greatest adventure that the human mind can take. And by adventure I mean that you cannot be cultivated in it.

First, you cannot know anything beforehand. Unless you know it, you cannot know it.

Everything said ultimately means nothing: truth remains unsaid. Much has been said, much has been said about nothing; however, not a single word of truth has been uttered.

Unless you know it, you cannot know it. But something about it can be indicated. It will never be to the point, it cannot be. The nature of the thing is such that this is impossible.

You cannot say that this is meditation. All that is possible is to say that this is not meditation, this is not meditation, that is not meditation. The remaining is. And the remaining is left unindicated.

Many reasons for it are there. Meditation is something greater than the mind. It is not something which happens in the mind. It is something which happens to the mind, not in the mind; otherwise the mind will be capable of defining it, the mind will be capable of knowing it, understanding it. It is not something happening in the mind, but to the mind.

The happening is just like death happens to life. Death never happens in life, it happens to life.

Meditation is just like death to the mind, as death is to life. We can say that meditation is a deeper death -- not physical, but psychic. The deeper the death, the deeper is the possibility to be reborn. When there is physical death, you will be reborn physically. As far as you are concerned, nothing will have happened at all, nothing. You will remain the same -- the same continuity, the same old one.

The deeper the death, the deeper is the resurrection. If you die psychologically, if the mind dies, then you are reborn. And this rebirth is not just like physical rebirth, because then the body is replaced; a new one replaces it. But when there is mental, psychic death, the mind is not replaced. Consciousness remains without the mind.

So meditation is consciousness without the mind -- an open sky without any walls around it. We can destroy the walls of this house, but not the room, becausèroom' means nothing but space. So now the room will be the roomness. The room will be there under the open sky. Of course you will no longer see it as the room, because now you cannot define it, it has become one with the sky. But the room is there more than before, only the walls are not. So if you define the room as the roomness, the emptiness between the walls, then without the walls the room will still be there. It will have become greater, infinite.

So as the mind dies -- when I say the mind dies, I only mean the walls of the mind -- the emptiness within this space remains, becomes greater. That is consciousness. Make a distinction. I call the emptiness within, consciousness, and the walls around it the mind.

Or you can say it like this: mind with a small `m' dies, mind with a capital `M' goes on living. Then it is not your mind, it cannot be yours. If these walls are removed, this room will not be mind. The room will be there, but it will not be mind, because mind can only be the walls, mind can only be the limitations. This pure emptiness cannot be mind. So then the mind with a small `m' dies, and the mind with a capital `M' is there; you are not there. And you are not replaced by any other mind, you are not replaced at all.

So meditation is a subtle death -- a deep death of you, your mind, your ego, of all that makes you defined. But that which is within is there. That is pure consciousness.

So firstly, the walls of the mind, the mental processes, are not meditation, they are obstacles. What are walls of the mind? How has the mind defined itself? How has it become a limited thing? Where are the boundaries, the walls, due to which the mind has become separated from the Mind?

There are three things: the first is memory. The greater part of the mind is memory. And this memory is a long one, it goes back to all the infinite lives that you have lived. The mind accumulates everything, not only that which you have collected consciously. When you are asleep the mind is collecting. When you are even in a coma, completely unconscious, the mind is collecting. The mind goes on collecting. Nothing escapes it. The unconscious mind is a great Chinese wall of memories -- a very long one.

This memory is not only a part of your brain, but in fact a part of each and every cell of your being, of each and every cell of your body. That is why twenty-four cells from the male and twenty-four cells from the female begin to create you. They have a built-in program, they have a built-in memory. One day we will be capable of knowing what type of a nose you will have even when you are in the womb the first day. The new egg will indicate what type of eyes you will have, how great will be your age, how much intelligence, how much ego.

That so simple looking cell is as complex as you are. It is all the memories of the whole race. It carries on the collective mind. And then your soul, your ego, your mind, penetrates in it. So the body has its own memories, and your mind has its own. You are a crossroads -- a mind with so many memories, and a body with so many memories of the whole collective race, the whole collective mind. Bodily memories are stronger than the mind. So you always are a victim to them. Howsoever you may think against them, when the moment comes the body wins. Your mind is nothing before it, because it is a racial mind. That is why all the religions fell in a trap when they began to fight the body. You cannot fight it. If you begin to fight it, you will only be wasting your life.

You cannot fight with the body because, in fact, it is the race -- not only the race, it is the whole history of the being itself. Things go on living in you. Everything that has existed goes on living in you body. Your own self carries everything within it. That is why a child in the womb has to pass through all those stages through which the human being passes in evolution.

Those nine months in the womb are total evolution compressed. One begins just as an amoeba, the first primitive cell. One begins just in the same situation as the amoeba had to begin in sea water. The womb contains the same chemical conditions as the sea water.

The womb water in which the cell swims has the same components as the sea water, exactly the same.

In the womb the evolution begins again. Of course, it is a miniature evolution. But the whole thing has to begin again, because the cell has a memory, it cannot work otherwise.

It will go again through the same process. The time will be short. The amoeba had to pass millions of years, then it was able to come on the earth from the sea. This cell, this egg cell within the womb, will pass within a week. But in those seven days there will be the same evolution, compressed from millions of years, and the same stages. These nine months are compressed evolution, and the cell has a built-in program.

So in a way your body is the whole evolution. In a very compressed atomic state the body has a memory of its own. One who desires or longs to be in meditation will first have to understand his body memory, the physiological memory. Do not fight with it. If you begin fighting you are taking the wrong step. You will be more and more disturbed. Be cooperative, there is no other way. Let the body be completely at ease. Do not create any tension between you and the body. Your real fight is not with the body, not with the body memory but with ego memory -- your psyche, your mind. And that is another thing, completely different. So do not fight with the body.

When we fight with the body, we never have time to fight with the mind. And if we begin to fight with the body, it will go on and on. It will be suicidal, it will be destructive, it will just sow seeds of its own defeat. One is bound to be defeated -- a single cell fighting the whole humanity, fighting the whole being as such; that is impossible.

So do not take bodily memories as your memories. For example, hunger is a body memory. You can fight with it, but to win will be very difficult, very arduous, nearly impossible. If you win, your victory will be your total defeat, because if you can win over your hunger you have taken a suicidal step. Within ninety days you will be dead. Even the body will not indicate to you that now is the time to feed it. So it is good that you never win over it, otherwise it will be suicidal. Then between you and your body memories there will be no bridge. That is the only way to win -- but you are not winning really, you are going to murder yourself.

So there are methods which can break the bridge between you and your body. There are methods, so many hatha yoga methods to break the bridge. The body goes on crying hunger, hunger, hunger... but you never know, the bridge is broken. The body goes on, but you never know about it, you become insensitive to it. Never practice anything which makes your body or you insensitive, because meditation is total sensitivity.

When you become meditative, your body will become so sensitive -- you cannot conceive now how sensitive the body organs can be. We never hear exactly, we never see exactly -

- just so-so. You pass through a garden, you seem to be looking but you just look, you do not see. The eyes have become insensitive, you have been fighting with the eyes. The body has become insensitive, you have been fighting the body.

The whole culture is against the body -- this whole culture, wherever it is, East or West, it makes no difference. The culture that has developed on this planet is, in a way, diseased.

It is against the body, and the body is a great mystery. If you go against the body, then in a way you have gone against the universe; it is a miniature universe. Your relationship to the universe, your bridge to the universe, your instruments to the universe, are all through the body. Your body is just a midway station.

So do not fight with the body. Always make a clear distinction of what is the body memory and what is the mind memory. Hunger is the body memory, and you can know it. But the mind has its own memories also. They are not existential; they have no survival value, in fact. Body memories have a survival value, and that is the basic distinction. If you deny the body memories, if you fight against them, you will not survive. But psychological memories have no survival value really. They are simply waste accumulation -- something which is to be thrown if you have accumulated it, something which needs to be thrown. You have only burdened yourself with it. And these mind memories are long.

Whenever you are in anger, there are two possibilities: it may be a body memory, it may be a mind memory. A certain distinction is to be made between them. If your anger has a survival value, if you cannot survive without it, then it has a bodily medium, But if your anger has no survival value, then it is just a habit of the mind, just a mechanical repetition of the mind. Then it is a mind memory. You have been angry so many times, it has become a conditioning with you. Whenever someone just pushes you, just pushes the button, you are angry again. So be aware.

One who is never mentally angry, not habitually angry... his bodily anger will have a beauty of its own. It will never be ugly. Then it will only mean that someone is living, not dead. But the more you are habitually angry, the less will be your capacity to be bodily angry, and your anger will be just ugly. It will not add anything to you, it will just be disturbing to yourself and to others.

We can understand it from another route also, for example, sex. It can be a bodily memory, then it has a survival value. But it can be just cerebral, mental, just out of habit.

Then it has no survival value. And one who has become trapped in the habitual pattern, his sex will become an ugly thing. Neither will it have any love, nor will it have any beauty. Neither will it have any music, nor will it have any deeper response. The more cerebral the sex, the less your body will be capable. You will think about it more, and you will not be able to know what it is exactly, what is its deepest mystery. The mind will go on thinking about sex, and the body will have to follow the mind. And whenever the body follows the mind, there is no life in it; it is just dragged along as a dead weight.

It may be anything -- sex or anger or greed. Always make a distinction as to whether it has a survival value, then you do not have to fight with it. If it is just a mental habit, then be aware of it. This mental memory of all our past actions has become a conditioned thing. You go on repeating them, you act just like a machine. Be conscious of this. You will be surprised to know, if there is no mind in your anger and if it is just a total response to a situation with the whole body in it and no mental preconditioning, then there will be no repentance. You have acted totally in the situation, as the situation required. Then there need be no repentance at all.

Another thing: when there is no repentance, there will be no psychological accumulation.

Nothing will be a habit with you. You need not accumulate anything. Why does the mind need to accumulate memories? Because it is not confident whether it can act totally in a situation. It prepares, it has to go through so many rehearsals. If there is such and such a situation, it is not confident of what it will do. It must know all of what happened, it must sort things out, it must make programs of what is to be done in a particular situation. That is why the mind accumulates memories, and the more it accumulates, the less is your capacity to act totally. And the less your capacity to act totally, the more the mind will be needed.

So act with the body, do not act with the mind. This will look strange, like something never expected from a religious man -- act from the body. Then the act is immeasurable, the response is total. Do not let your mind come in. Then there will be no memory, there will be no mental accumulation, there will be no repentance. The act is just over. Things were such, the situation was such, you acted totally with no part remaining behind. So no one can repent. You were total to it. Otherwise, the part that is withheld repents later on.

The body can act totally; the mind can never act totally. Mind is always divided, mind works in dichotomies. So one part of the mind is angry, another part is simultaneously repenting or preparing to repent. This should also be noted -- whenever there is a part constantly against another part, know that you are acting through the mind not through the body. The body is always total; it cannot act dividedly. The body is just a flow, there are no divisions. When you fall in love, it is the whole body which has fallen in love. You cannot make any distinction such as that the head has fallen or that the hands begin to love. The whole body is in it, but the mind can never be totally in anything. A part of it will always be criticizing, judging, commanding, appreciating; a part of it will always be sitting in the chair to judge, to condemn. So whenever you see that some part of your mind is working against the act, you know that you are doing it cerebrally, mentally.

Begin to do things bodily. When you are eating, eat bodily. The body knows well when to stop, but the mind never knows. One part will go on eating and another part will go on condemning. One part will go on saying stop, and another part will go on eating. The body is total, so ask the body. Do not ask the mind whether to eat or not to eat, to stop or not to stop. Your body knows what is needed. It has accumulated the wisdom of centuries and centuries. It knows when to stop.

Do not ask the mind, ask the body. Rely on the body's wisdom. The body is more wise than you. That is why animals live more wisely than us. They live more wisely, but, of course, they do not think. The moment they think they will be just like us: This is a miracle: that animals can live more wisely than human beings. It seems absurd. They know nothing, but they go on living more wisely. The only ability in which the human being has become efficient is to interfere with everything. You go on interfering with you body. Do not interfere, let the body work. Do not come in its way, and then you will have a clear distinction of what is mental memory and what is body memory.

Memory in the body is a help to survive; mental memory is obstructive. This mental memory is to be destroyed. When I say destroyed, I do not mean that you will not remember anything. In fact, when I say to destroy the memory, I mean that you should not be identified with the memory, you should not become one with it. The memory must not be an autonomous affair, it must not perpetuate itself.

It goes on perpetuating. You are sitting, and the memory is working. You are sleeping, and the memory is working. You are working, and the memory is working. The memory goes on continuously working. What is it doing? What can memory do? It can only desire the same for the future. It can do nothing else. It can perpetuate and project itself into the future: "All that has been should be again, or something that has been should not be."

The memory is always weaving a pattern for the future around you. And once you allow it to weave a pattern for you, you will never be free. You will always be in a pattern. That pattern constitutes the walls around the emptiness of consciousness. Before you take one step into the future, memory has taken many. The path is not an open path, it has become an imprisonment. The memory is always narrowing it down. But we are deceived by it because we think that the memory is helping us to live the future better. It is not helping.

It is just helping you to make your future the same as the past.

The memory cannot project anything which it has not known. It can only project the known: it will project it. Do not fall into the trap. Do not allow the mind to project for the future even for a moment. Of course, it will take time to be without this dead habit. To begin to be aware of it is meditation. And once you are aware, completely aware, intensely aware, alert, the memory will not weave the future for you; it can only weave when you are dreaming.

To be dreaming is a basic condition for the memory to work. That is why, in sleep, it creates real looking dreams -- more real looking than the reality. When you are just sitting in your easy chair, then there are day dreams, there are reveries. Just be a little sleepy, and the memory begins to weave, begins to project. Be alert, conscious, and the memory stops working for the future. Alertness, more alertness within and without, is the beginning of meditation.

This alertness can be created in so many ways. By telling you to be alert I know that you are not going to become alert. You will hear this in a dreaming state, and the memory will project: "Yes, I will be alert tomorrow." And the memory will work upon this and make it a project. If you hear this, "Be alert," you will make it a project. You will say,

"Yes, I will be alert sometime." And if I say that happiness follows alertness, if I say that bliss is bound to come to you through alertness, you will be more dreamy. And the memory will project events.

Only telling you to be alert will not make you meditative; it will not make any difference.

So I create devices, I create situations, in which you cannot help but be alert, situations in which dreaminess is impossible.

I will tell you something.... Dreaminess becomes more possible if there is more carbon dioxide around you; you will be more dreamy. That is why in the day you cannot be so dreamy as in the night. The chemical components change. At night there is more carbon dioxide in the air and the oxygen is less. So if the reverse is possible, if the oxygen in you and around you is more and carbon dioxide is thrown out, you cannot be dreamy. That is why I insist on vigorous breathing. It is nothing but a chemical device to change the chemical atmosphere in you. Oxygen must be there more and more. The more the oxygen, the less you fall victim to the dream. And your memories cannot work without the medium of dreaminess.

In the morning we feel freshness. What happens in the morning with the rising sun? The carbon dioxide decreases and the oxygen increases. So the same chemical change is needed within you. The technique which we are using in our meditation camps nowadays is the most powerful method to create excess oxygen in the body. And after the first three stages, in the fourth, the student becomes charged with tremendous life energy that makes him very alert.

Another device to make you alert is kundalini practice. It is a system to transform sex energy for meditation and awareness. It is useful to a person whose sex energy can be easily and naturally channeled for meditation purposes. In the days of the Vedas and Upanishads, in ancient India, the people were simple and natural and they could easily convert their sex energy. For them sex was not a mental problem at all, it was not at all a problem. Once it is a problem, it becomes mental.

Today, the modern world is so sexually perverse and sexually exploited that kundalini --

the movement of psychic energy in a particular psychic channel -- has become difficult.

But through this method, sometimes the kundalini is felt to be rising. That is another thing. If someone feels his kundalini rising, then I begin to work on his kundalini, then I begin to give him techniques for working on it. But unless there is a spontaneous feeling of kundalini, I will not even touch the point. I will not talk about it. You can by-pass it, and this age is such that you will have to by-pass it. Only with natural, physical sex, with no mind in it, can kundalini work -- with innocent minds it can work.

Somewhere on the way, when you have gone deeper in meditation, your mind loses its grip. As I have said to you, when you go deeper in meditation, then you make a distinction and separation of these two memories, then you become less and less mental about the body and let the body function by itself through its own wisdom.

Then sometimes kundalini will become active. So if it works automatically, then it is good. I won't allow its practice directly. Indirectly, it comes to work itself. And it comes so many times. At least thirty to forty percent of people working on this method feel kundalini. When they feel it, then I am ready. Then they can proceed. Then through this method they proceed through the door of kundalini. But this method is only indirectly connected to kundalini, not directly.

As far as I am concerned there is no future for direct kundalini methods, unless the whole world takes sex as a natural phenomenon. And there are no kundalini techniques that are used before sex maturity. Unless the track for kundalini is created within you before sex maturity, there is every possibility -- even if sex is taken naturally -- that you may not turn out to be a pervert, but you will turn out to be just an animal.

I will tell you a story from the Upanishads....

A rishi is sitting with his wife and son. A man passes by there and he falls in love with the wife. He asks her to accompany him to his residence. The wife goes away with the man. There is no criticism or objection from the rishi, but the son becomes angry and he says to his father, "This is just animalistic. This is just like animals do. This cannot be allowed. When I will make a moral code, I will not allow this. This is just like animals do." The father says, "This is not just like animals do. But on the contrary, your rage, your anger, is just like animals do. It is a projection of moral violence, just like an animal.

In fact no animal will allow what just happened, he will fight. No animal will hold on to a possession forever."

This attitude, the father's attitude, is really a higher one. It cannot be understood. He says your attitude is just like an animal's. Animals fight for their mates. They have a territorial possessive sense. And if you trespass it, they will fight. But the father says, "I am human.

If someone sees your mother and falls in love, no one is at fault. And if your mother is ready, who am I? I have also fallen in love with her the same way. It makes no difference. Just like this I have fallen in love with her. She agreed to be married, she agreed to be my wife, but not my possession. Someone else has fallen. I know human weakness because I know myself, I have also fallen myself. So nothing wrong is happening. And I am not an animal, so I cannot fight for this. I know he is a human being just like me. And your mother is beautiful. I have also fallen in love with her."

But this is a very high morality, and this can only be cultivated before sex maturity, if you have trained -- otherwise not. After sex maturity you will not be able to channel the energy; it is very difficult. But if channels are ready before, then the energy just flows in them as naturally as it flows in sex. And this man, this father, this rishi, must have known kundalini otherwise he could not have been as he was. It is impossible. This rishi had kundalini development -- energy going upward -- otherwise this attitude would never come.

Downward energy is always toward violence. Upward energy is always toward love, understanding, compassion.

So this method is an indirect method. It works through so many doors. If your kundalini can be used, the method will use it. It will take its route, it is flexible. The method is absolutely flexible. If your kundalini is ready and cannot use it, if it is dangerous, it will not use it. Then there are other channels, other routes. It can use other routes.

Those other routes are not named, because no ancient teaching used them. But there are other routes. Mahavira never talked about kundalini, never. Buddha never talked about kundalini, never. Christ never knew about it, Lao Tse never heard about it. They had been through other routes.

The way Buddha went could not have been through kundalini. His sex had become absolutely a boredom to him, he was not in the least interested in sex. And that was bound to happen, because his father arranged for him so many beautiful girls of his kingdom. Every girl who was beautiful was in his palace. He just became disgusted. It was bound to happen; everyone would become disgusted like that. He became so disgusted with sex that he could not conceive that the same energy could be converted.

He never tried for it. And even if someone had said to him that sex energy can become divine energy, he would not have listened to him, because he had known sex so much, and there was nothing divine about it to him. It was just carnal. Buddha used another route. He did not talk about kundalini at all, but he talked about centers, chakras. He worked for chakras.

If you work for kundalini, then there is a gradual process. Kundalini is a continuity, it has a continuity just like a thermometer. It rises just like a thermometer, slowly, slowly. The passage is a continuous one. Buddha never used that passage, but he talked about chakras working in sudden jumps. From one chakra one jumps to another. There is no continuity, one just jumps. Because of this jumping process, Buddha conceived of the whole world in a very new way. He said that there is no continuity in the world, only jumps.

Nothing is continuous. The flower is not continuous with the bud; the flower is a jump.

Youth is not a continuity of childhood; it is a jump. And so Buddhist philosophers nowadays are very happy, because today science also says that there is no continuity.

Everything jumps, there is just a jump. We see continuity only because we cannot see the gaps between.

You see this light continuously; it is not continuous. Electrons are jumping, but the gaps are so small that your eyes cannot know them. It is not continuous; it is jumping. But the jumps are so speedily taken that when one electric particle is dead and the other has come, the gap in between is not noticed. There is just a sudden jump. You light the flame in the evening, and in the morning when you put it out, you will think that you are putting out the same flame. The flame has jumped thousands and thousands of times. It has gone, evaporated, and the new one has come. But it looks so continuous.

Heraclitus said that you can never step twice in the same river. Because the river is flowing, you can never step in it twice. Buddha will say you cannot step even once because the river is flowing. As soon as you have touched the surface, it is gone. Before you have gone deeper, it is gone again. Even one step, and so many rivers have gone.

And it is always a jumping process.

This jumping concept came to Buddha because he never passed through kundalini. He passed through a jump, one chakra to another. So he talks about seven chakras, that also is possible. I can come to your house jumping, so I touch only some points. The gaps are there, there is no continuity.

Mahavira never talks about chakras or jumps, he talks of explosions. You are this, and then you are that. There are not even many stations to jump. This is another route --

explosion, you just explode. One moment before you are this, and one moment after you are that. There is neither a continuity nor a jump, there is an explosion. There is no midpoint to be crossed.

In Zen, there are two sects: one sect is known as the sudden school of Zen; the other is the gradual school of Zen. But even gradual Zen does not talk about kundalini. It has used another route. So there is no talk about kundalini in Zen, not even in the gradual school; another route was used.

The body has so many routes. It is a great world in itself. You can work through breathing, and through breathing you can take the jump. You can work through sex, and through sex you can take the jump. You can work through awareness -- that is, directly through consciousness -- and you can take the jump. This working directly on consciousness has been one of the deepest routes, but even one single route can be used in so many ways. You must understand the complexity of this.

For example, one road can be used in so many ways. One can use it with a car, another with a cart, and another by just walking. The route is the same, but the method is absolutely different. What is common between walking and sitting in a car? Nothing is common. In the car you are just sitting and not doing at all. You are not doing anything.

So someone can say, "I passed this route just sitting," and he is not saying anything false.

But one who has only walked and who has never known how one can pass the route only sitting will deny this route. He too is right.

Even a single route can be used in different ways, for example, awareness. Gurdjieff uses it, but he will call it remembering, and the method is different. The route is the same.

Consciousness is to be used, but as remembering, not as awareness. And what is the difference? Remembering means you are on this street, just remember you are. Stand for a moment, remember you are. Look around completely remembering that you are. Never forget for a single moment that you are.

But we forget, we never remember. If I see you, I forget myself and I see you. The awareness becomes one arrowed, the other arrow is not there. Gurdjieff says to make it double arrowed. You are listening to a discourse. To listen to what the speaker says is the first arrow, and if you are aware of yourself -- of the listener -- then that is the second arrow. Do not forget yourself when you are listening, remember that you are listening.

Someone is speaking, and you are listening; be beyond both and remember. Make yourself double arrowed. The route is the same, but the method is different.

Krishnamurti will say, "Do not remember this way, it will become a tense effort. Just be aware of the totality. Do not choose that you are here and he is there. Do not choose. Just let there be an all-inclusive awareness. Do not focus it -- unfocused awareness." I am speaking; you are sitting; the horn is there; the car is passing... Things are -- and awareness is unfocused. Do not make it arrowed, make it unfocused. The route is the same, but the method is quite different.

Tantra used the same method, the same route, in a different way. It was unimaginable.

They used intoxicants -- bhang, charas, ganja, wine. And the method was this: take the intoxicant, and be aware. Do not lose awareness. Go on taking the intoxicant, and be aware that you are aware. Do not lose consciousness. There are methods in which no intoxicant will be of any effect, so snake poison was used. The snake is made to bite on the tongue. And when the snake bites on the tongue and you are still aware, only then have you taken the jump -- otherwise not. The route is the same, but the method is quite different.

In this Tantra practice, if no intoxicants work and you go on remaining conscious, you behave consciously, then something has crystallized within you. Something has gone beyond body chemistry. Otherwise the chemistry will affect you. Now you are beyond chemistry. The chemistry is somewhere working in the body, but you are aloof, it cannot touch you.

So there are so many routes, and each route can be used with so many methods. My method is not directly concerned with any route. It is just like a vehicle which can fly, swim and go on the road. Whatever is the need of your personality, the need will change the method, the route. You may call it a multi-method. It is indirect, it cannot be direct. I give you the method; your body, your being, will give the route. And the awakened energy can use any route: Tantric, Buddhist, Jain, Gurdjieff's, Sufi... it can use any route.

And when I say this, it is not just a hypothesis. When I say this I have worked so.

People have come to me who have worked on different routes. When they use this method, it begins to help them in their route. If someone is working on kundalini and comes to me, then works with this method, it helps him on his own route. He says, "This method is wonderful; the previous kundalini method was not working so intensely and so intently." And this is not a kundalini method at all. But this is flexible. The method will find out the route. You are to do it, and all else will be done by the method itself.

And for the coming world, and also for today's world, only such flexible methods can be used because there are so many types of people now. In the old world, that was not the case. In a particular region, a particular type existed. If there were Hindus, there were only Hindus, there were no Moslems. In fact, they never heard about one another. They never knew about each other's practices, so they were never confused. They were of a single type. If they were Tibetan Buddhists, they were Tibetan Buddhists; they never heard about anything else. Everyone's conditioning was the same, everyone was brought up in the same milieu. So one method was needed that worked.

Now that is all difficult. Minds are confused; in fact, there is no single type. Everyone is a multi-type. There are so many influences, contradictory influences. All religions say, "Do not study others. Do not go to other teachers." That is not simply dogmatism. It looks like it is dogmatic, it was basically just to protect their type. This led to unnecessary confusion. Otherwise, no method would be used fully -- neither that nor this. This was done so that one should not be confused, but now that is impossible.

But now everyone is confused, and there is no help. Now there can be no single type, and a type cannot be protected. So we need new methods which belong to no type and can be used by every type. So this method is flexible. I am not particularly concerned with kundalini, not particularly concerned with anything, but deeply concerned with all.

You use this method, and the method will find the route -- the route which can be worked out in you. I leave this to the method. The method finds it, and it finds it more exactly than you can find it. But this finding is unconscious. It just puts you in a situation, just like there is fire in the house. You are in a situation. If you can run, run. If you can jump, jump. The situation is there, and the situation will push you toward whatever is possible for you.

And the unconscious mind always chooses the route of least resistance. That is necessarily the mathematics, the inner economy of mind. You never unconsciously choose any long route, you always choose the shortest. Only with the conscious mind do you begin to choose routes which lead nowhere or are so much longer that you are dead before you reach. But the unconscious always chooses the shortest route. So this method will create the situation, and your unconscious will take the route which is potentially its type.

I Am the Gate

Chapter #6

Chapter title: The secrets of spiritual explosion

8 June 1971 pm in Bombay, India

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GATE06

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Question 1

BELOVED MASTER,

YOU HAVE SAID THAT WHENEVER THE ULTIMATE SPIRITUAL EXPLOSION

HAPPENS TO A PERSON, THERE THEN STARTS AROUND HIM A PROCESS OF

SPIRITUAL EXPLOSION WHICH EFFECTS OTHER SEEKERS LIKE A CHAIN

REACTION. SO PLEASE TELL US WHETHER A CHAIN REACTION OF

SPIRITUAL EXPLOSION HAS STARTED AROUND YOU? ARE THERE PERSONS

WHO HAVE UNDERGONE A HIGHER SPIRITUAL EXPLOSION? ARE THERE

PERSONS NEAR YOU PHYSICALLY WHO ARE GOING TO EXPLODE IN THE

VERY NEAR FUTURE?

First, one has to understand what is meant by spiritual explosion. Many things are implied. One, the explosion is something for which you cannot do anything directly.

Your efforts are meaningless, it is not something that you can manage. Explosion happens to you. You cannot do anything positive to make explosion happen, because if the explosion is done by you, it will not be an explosion at all. You will remain, and you will continue. Even after the explosion you will be there. If you have attained it, then you will not explode in it. So positively no effort is possible toward explosion; this is the first thing, the first basic implication in explosion.

Explosion means a discontinuity with the past. The old has gone completely, and the new has come. There is no continuity between the two. This new is not connected with the old. There is no causal link, it is not caused by the old. If it is caused by the old, then there is no explosion. Then there is continuity, the old has continued in a new form. Then you may have gained something, you may have added something to yourself. But you are the same, the central being remains the same. Only on the periphery has something been added and accumulated. Your ego becomes more strengthened, stronger than before; you will be richer. So there is no explosion in continuity.

Explosion means the old has died completely and the new has come into being. There is no causal link between the two. There is a gap -- an unbridgeable gap, an abyss. Then you can call it explosion. This is very difficult to understand. In our lives everything is easy to understand, everything is causal. Our whole logical thinking is based on causality; everything is connected, everything is related and is in continuity with something else.

Nothing is new, everything is just a modification of the old -- so it can be understood.

This is because the mind is the continuity. The mind is filled with accumulated knowledge, with memory. The mind can always understand the old, but the new is incomprehensible to it. The new cannot be understood by the mind. And if your mind tries to understand the new, it will transform it into terms of the past. It will give shape to it, meaning to it, and will categorize it. If things are connected with the old, then the mind is at ease because it can understand.

Explosion is something which cannot be understood by the mind. Really, in explosion, the mind explodes and is thrown out completely. So the second thing to be understood is this: you will not be able to understand explosion. All that you understand will not be explosion. You will change something into something old which is known. You may think that what I am talking about is like any other explosion, but spiritual explosion is not similar to any other phenomenon.

If a bomb explodes, everything is destroyed. The old order is gone, and there is chaos.

But this chaos is caused by the old; it is a continuity. Nothing new has come into being.

This whole chaos, this whole disorder, is just a continuity with the old order. It is the old in a disordered way. No material explosion can even be symbolic or used metaphorically for spiritual explosion. The word comes from a material happening and has a connotation which is quite misleading. Spiritual explosion does not mean that the old is disordered, that the old has become chaotic. Spiritual explosion means something new is created, something new has come into being.

Material explosion is destructive. Spiritual explosion is creative. But if we try to understand it by analogy, then we will not be able to know it. Something new, something quite new, comes into being. You cannot give it meaning because you are the old. You cannot create it. You have just to be vacant. You can only help it negatively by your absence, by your not being. If you are absent, then the explosion will take place. Your cooperation is needed only in a negative way. But to do something positively is easy, to do something negatively is very arduous.

To cooperate is easy, not to cooperate is easy; but to cooperate negatively is very difficult. To cooperate negatively means not to create hindrances. And we all go on creating hindrances for the new to come into being. We always emphasize the old, we always stick with the old, are identified with the old. The old is really the "we", the "I".

When I say the "I", it is the total past. So how can "I" help the new? How can "I" help the future, "I" being the past? Whenever you say "I", it is the whole past in a single word. All that is dead now, all that must be buried now, stands behind this "I". So this "I" becomes the hindrance, the only obstacle, the only obstruction, for the new to come in.

So you cannot do anything with the "I" positively, but negatively you can do something.

Understand that you are the old, and let this understanding go deep, penetrate you to your innermost depth. Become completely aware that you cannot help the new to come into being. Unless the new comes in, there is no spirituality. Unless the new explodes, you will not be reborn, you will not be in the dimension of the divine.

It is not that "I" am to be freed; rather, there will be freedom from the I, freedom from myself. It is not that I am to do something; rather, I must not do anything so that this phenomenon can happen. But we continue to do something or other. This comes out of

"me"; it prolongs, it continues "me." It projects "me" into the future, and there can be no explosion.

The dead past, which accumulates like dust, goes on accumulating on my mirror-like consciousness, and the mirror-like consciousness is lost and only the dust is there. We become identified with the dust. Can you imagine yourself without your past? If your total past is destroyed, where will you live? What will you do then? Who will you be? If everything from the past is taken away, by and by you will feel you are disintegrating and disappearing.

When there is no past, who are you? Where are you? With what then will you be identified? If there is no past, still you exist, but not the same way. Really, you will be diametrically opposite to that which you were. If the whole past is taken away, you will be just a consciousness. Then you cannot be an ego.

The ego is the accumulated events, the past. If it is taken away from you, then you will be just like a mirror, mirroring everything with a new identity. If you become aware that you are the hindrance, then you do not have to do anything. This very awareness will destroy the old identity. And when the old identity is completely destroyed, when there is a gap between your real being and your memories, when there is a space between your ego and you, then within that space the explosion comes in. Within that space is the explosion.

This explosion cannot be comprehended intellectually in any way whatsoever. The more you will try to understand it, the less you will understand it. So do not be tense about it, just be relaxed. And do not try to understand me, but rather feel inside yourself what I am saying. If I say you are the past, then do not just hear my words and think whether they are right or wrong. Just go in and feel whatever is being said. Think in terms of fact. They are facts.

Go inside, and see whether you are the past, whether what I am saying is really a fact.

Have you anything more than the past? Are you the dead past or is there something living in you which is not part and parcel of the past? What is that? You cannot confine it to yourself, because the "I" is the confinement. As the past is limited, you can confine it.

The past can be confined, it has happened, it is finite. But when you become aware of something in you which is not of the past, but is the here and now, then even if the whole past is destroyed, it will still be.

If there is something in you which will not be destroyed by the destruction of the past, but will continue to be, it is just a mirror-like consciousness -- pure consciousness. Then

"you" are not in it, but you are just a mirror which mirrors everything. Then you will feel the gap between your ego and you, you will feel the space. And if you can remain in this understanding and in this awareness, then it becomes a meditation. If you can just remain in this understanding and awareness, in this space between your real being -- your consciousness -- and your past, then the accumulated being, the ego, becomes just an outer layer.

It becomes just a boundary line, and in the center is pure consciousness. Remain in it. It will be very uneasy; it will be very inconvenient and arduous, because we have never remained so. We always run to the periphery, we always become identified with the periphery. We live on the periphery and never in the center. The periphery is the ego, because all events happen on the periphery, on the circumference.

The circumference is the point from which you are in touch with others. If I love you, the happening of love is on the periphery, because only my periphery can be in touch with and in contact with your periphery. Everything in this world happens on the periphery, on the boundary line. So we always remain on the boundary line. That is the field of activity, but the being is always in the center. So if you can remain in this gap, in this space, and if you can be yourself -- not on the periphery but in the center -- if you can become aware of the periphery as the dead past, as a surface, as a body, the "you" is lost. I am not talking about this physical body. Really, the ego is the body.

So if there is this space, not intellectually comprehended, not logically understood but existentially felt, it will become inconvenient. You will become uneasy, as if you are dying, because you have always remained on the periphery; that has been your life. So if you go back to the center, it will be just like dying, because at present the periphery has become the life. You do not know any other life. You will feel just like sinking, dying, as if suffocated, and the mind will say, "Go back to the periphery. The life is there."

But on the periphery there is no life -- only action. There is only doing, not being. That is why when you have not to do anything, that not doing becomes so difficult that you cannot remain with it, you begin to do something. You may read a newspaper, you may put on the radio, you may do anything. Or if there is nothing to do, then you may go to sleep. But remaining in non-doing is the most arduous thing. Not for a single moment are you in non-doing. And the being is only revealed to those who can remain in the non-doing, who remain in the center.

That is what is meant by negative cooperation -- your cooperation is needed in a negative way. You are not to do something; you are to remain in non-doing. And then the explosion takes place.

It just happens to you. And when it has happened, you will always be in the center. It does not mean that you will not be able to do anything. You will be able to do, but the quality of the action will be altogether different. Now a different kind of love will be possible from the center, a different kind of activity will be possible from the center. Now love will not be an act, but a state of mind. It will not be that sometimes you love and sometimes you do not love. Now it will become your very existence. You will be loving, and every action and every relationship will have a different quality, a different meaning, a different depth. Through this explosion you will be totally unidentified with the mind, with the ego, with the body, with the periphery -- totally unidentified.

Destruction of the identification is the explosion. You will not be continuous now, because any continuity is on the periphery. This is not something continuous with the periphery, it is a jump. If you go on running on the periphery, then it is a continuity. If you go round and round on the periphery you may run for a lifetime, but each step is bound with the previous one, and each step leads you to the next. It is a linked process.

But jumping from the periphery to the center is not continuous with the old. It is discontinuous -- not a further step and not caused by your previous step. It is completely new and uncaused.

This becomes difficult to understand, because in this world of happenings and events nothing is uncaused. But modern physics has come nearer to this point; modern physics has come to a parallel situation. The behavior of the electron is discontinuous. So the whole physical science, because of this behavior of electrons, has taken a new dimension.

Before this century, physics was the system most based on scientific method. Everything was caused, everything was a continuity, and everything was certain, because only with a causal link is there a certainty. When things can happen uncaused, then there is no certainty, then there are really no laws that can be applied.

The whole science is wavering today because they cannot decide the behavior of the electron. It behaves without causes. Sometimes it disappears from one point and then appears on another without any continuity in between. From point A, the electron disappears; on point B, it appears. And there is no continuity of existence between A and B. It has not been continuous, it has not traveled. This becomes mysterious, but I take it as an analogy.

There are two types of thinking: one is logical thinking and the other is analogical thinking. Logical thinking proceeds in sequence: "This is so, therefore, that will happen."

The cause is determined, so the effect will follow. The logical process is a definite, certain process. Given particular premises, particular results will follow automatically.

There is no freedom, in logical thinking, there is no freedom. Everything is caused by the past, so it is dominated by the past. If I will give you a particular amount of poison, you will die; you are not free. A particular amount of poison will cause death. Death must follow; it is a certainty, a continuity, a causal link.

Analogical thinking is quite different -- altogether different. Analogical thinking is in a way poetic. You jump from one thing to another simply through analogy, not through logical sequences. For example, I may love someone and may write a poem in which I say, "My beloved is just like the moon." There is no connection. There is no causal link between the face of my beloved and the moon. There is no relationship at all, only analogy. I have jumped from one point to another without traveling in between in any sequence. It is just like the behavior of the electron.

Poets have always been behaving like that, they jump from one point to another simply through analogy. There may be no obvious resemblance even, but if it appears to the poet that it somehow resembles, something has a resonance, that is enough. Something is re-echoed. Then there is a jump, an analogical jump.

The whole literature of mysticism is analogical. Mystics can only give you analogy, that is why there are so many parables. They were all analogical; Jesus was talking in analogy, Buddha also, and everyone. They are not giving any logical reasons and arguments. Really, Jesus has never argued any point. There is no argument, but just analogy.

If you are sympathetic, only then can you understand analogical thinking. If you are not sympathetic, then you cannot understand, because analogy depends not on reasoning but on your sympathetic attitudes and on whether you can continue the same process inside yourself.

So for analogy, I take the behavior of the electron; just like this is the spiritual explosion.

The old just drops on the periphery. There is no link between the periphery and the center, there is no travel. You do not travel from the periphery to the center. If you travel, then there will be a link from the periphery, then the first step toward the center will be taken on the periphery, and it must be connected with the previous one. Then there is a causal link.

You are on the periphery, and suddenly you find yourself at the center. There is no travel in between. That is explosion. We will take another analogy, because physics may not be known to you. For example, you sleep in Bombay and dream that you are in London. In the morning when the dream is over and the sleep is over, will you have to travel back from London to Bombay? Again, you dream that you are in London while sleeping in Bombay. Someone comes and wakes you up, and you were in London. Will you awaken in London or in Bombay? You will awaken in Bombay. But how did you come back?

Did you travel any distance? If you travel the distance, then you will not wake up, because the distance can only be traveled in dreams. If you travel the distance, if you take a plane, then the plane will be a part of the dream. If you simply wake up, then the dream will be discontinued in London; you will wake up in Bombay, and there will be no travel in between. So the waking is something new. It is not a continuity with the dream.

So the periphery is the dream -- the dream of the doing, the dream of the ego. That is why in India mystics have said, "This is illusion." They have said, "This is just a dream; the whole world is just a dream." And when Shankara and others have said that this whole world is a dream, this is an analogy and must not be misunderstood. It has been misunderstood. You can point out what nonsense they are telling. Is this world a dream?

It is so real! The Indian mystic philosopher Shankara also knew this. Really, this is real.

But he is talking in analogy.

"The world is a dream." When it is said, it is not meant that the world is actually a dream.

It only means that if you are awakened in it, the previous awareness will be discontinued.

You will not find any connection between dream and waking. You will not find any connection whatsoever, any relation whatsoever. You will be just bewildered how you were in London and how you came back.

But no one is bewildered really. When one is out of the dream, one is never bewildered.

Are you ever bewildered? You just say, "Oh! It was a dream," and the chapter is closed.

You never think about it. The same thing happens whenever the explosion is there. You know, "Oh! The dreaming entity has dissolved. It was a dream, and now I am in the center." You never ask, "How? How was I on the periphery, and how did I come back to the center again? Hod did I travel?"

People would ask Buddha: "How did you become enlightened?" The question is absurd.

It is just like asking someone how he came out of a dream. What is the method? What is the technique? How can you practice coming out of a dream? The dream is just broken, but the dream has its own ways of being broken. Sometimes a dream becomes a nightmare, it becomes unbearable. Then the very unbearableness of it, the anguish of it, causes it to be broken.

So if life on the periphery has become a nightmare, if living as we live has become hellish, then all of this will put you out of the dream. But when you are out of it, you will know it is not caused, it is not a continuity. That is why we call it an explosion.

Something new happens in it -- something totally new. It cannot be understood in terms of the old.

So what can you do even negatively? You can do at least three things negatively. One, be aware -- even if you can be aware for only a single moment. Be aware that you have become identified with a past which is not your being. The being is in the present, here and now, and you are identified with something which is not here and now. Be aware of this. Let this awareness come to you suddenly, anywhere. You are walking on the street --

stop for a moment, be suddenly aware. Anywhere, in any situation, stop for a moment and be suddenly aware where you are -- on the periphery or in the center? Are you identified with the memory or are you not identified with the memory? In the beginning this can come only for a moment, or not even a moment. There will be just a glimpse for part of a moment. You will feel it, and it will be gone. But that glimpse will deepen, and there will be a new movement from the periphery to the center -- a movement just like the electron -- a jump, a leap from one point to another. The situation will deepen.

Remain aware as much as you can, and use any and every situation. For example, the breath has gone out, and the breath has not come in. There is a gap -- a very minute, a very small gap between the two. Neither are you taking the breath nor is the breath going out. Become aware of that gap. Remain in it for a single moment; you will feel the center, and you will be far away from the periphery. You will be out of the dream.

You are going to sleep, be aware that sleep is coming in, is descending on you; you are sinking in it. Then there is a moment when you are neither awake nor asleep. The mind is changing its dimension. For a single moment there is neither sleep nor are you awake. Be aware of it and remain in the gap, and you will be thrown to the center. You will be off the periphery.

In the morning you are returning from a state of sleep. Feel the moment when you have not yet become awake, but sleep has gone. There is always a moment. Whenever the mind changes from one state to another, there is a gap. Everywhere there is a gap, because without the gap change is impossible; and in that gap you are never on the periphery. That gap is discontinuous with the periphery. You must understand exactly what I am saying. No gap is on the periphery; every gap is at the center.

The only continuity is on the periphery -- one event happening, another event happening.

And in between, in the gap, is always the center. You always go back to the center, and for another moment you always come back on the periphery. But this happening is so rapid, it is so timeless in a way, that ordinarily you cannot become aware of it. But if you become aware, attentive, watchful and careful, then by and by you will have glimpses.

You love someone, and the love has gone and the hatred has not yet set in. There is a moment. The love happens on the periphery, the hatred happens on the periphery, but the gap in between them always happens at the center. So when you love, you are on the periphery; when you hate, you are on the periphery. But when you change from love to hate or hate to love, you are not on the periphery. The gap is always at the center. You are thrown back. You cannot change on the periphery because on the periphery you are only doing. The being is at the center. You must come back to change, but this coming and going is so rapid, is so timelessly rapid, that ordinarily you cannot become alert about it.

Be alert in any change. You have been ill, now the illness has gone, and the health has not yet come in. Be aware -- you will be at the center. No change is possible on the periphery itself. That is why everyone needs sleep, because in sleep a great change happens. If you cannot sleep deeply you will not be able to live, because life needs certain changes every day. Every day, much is to be changed in the body, in the mind, in the emotions. There is much change every day. So nature has a way of making you unconscious, because consciously you will not remain in the center for long. You are thrown unconscious so that you are not on the periphery, you are not running to the periphery. You are asleep, you are unconscious. So you are at the center, and you have settled in the being.

But even when you are awake there are changes. As an analogy, you change a gear in your car. For a very short time you put the car in neutral. It is always through the neutral position that you change the gear. Neutral means no gear. If you shift from the first gear to the second, you cannot shift it directly. It must be put in neutral first, then it can be changed. The more expert you become, the less time it takes. Really, an expert driver becomes unaware that every time a gear is changed it passes through neutral. It is changed so swiftly that he need not be aware of it. Only one who is learning is aware, no one is aware otherwise. And neutral is always the difficulty in learning. Whenever you change from one action to another, you come back to the neutral state, to the center. So be aware.

Someone has insulted you, now you will change, you cannot remain the same. You will have to change on the periphery. The same face has become irrelevant, you will have to change the total face. Now be aware of what is happening inside. You will have to go to the center, again come back to the periphery, and then you can change your face. So when someone insults you, meditate inside. Go in. He has given a point of change.

Tantra has used intoxicants to make the seeker aware of the changing state of consciousness. They will go on giving you some intoxicant, and the teacher will say, "Be aware of the gap." Up to that moment you were aware, and now you are losing awareness. So be aware of the moment when you change from consciousness to unconsciousness. One is always changing, and if one becomes aware of these changing moments, one becomes aware of the center.

A Zen master will throw you out of the window and will cry from behind, "Be aware!"

You have been thrown, you are in between, you are just passing the window, and you are about to hit the ground. He cries, "Be aware!" You have fallen on the ground, your face must change. Now the situation is quite different. You have come to ask some metaphysical question, and he has done something completely con-metaphysical. He has thrown you out of the window; you were asking whether God is or not.

It is absolutely irrelevant to throw one through the window. But he says, "Be aware!" in the exact moment when you will be changing faces, changing a state. When you are just passing through the window, it is not only your body that is passing through a change, your state of consciousness will be passing through a change also. And a teacher knows exactly when it changes. That exact moment he will cry, "Be aware!" And if you can listen to him for that moment, you will be at the center -- thrown out of the periphery.

So whenever there is any changing situation, be careful to look inside. There is no traveling. There is only a jump from the periphery to the center and from the center to the periphery. And the behavior is just like the electron, or just like dreams. Deepen this awareness. This is all that you can do. This is negative because awareness is not a doing, awareness is not an act.

Whenever you are in a changing state, be aware, and there will be no action. Action will be withheld whenever you are aware. If you become aware, then there will be no breath even. If I put a dagger at your throat, even the breath stops. You become so aware that everything stops. You are thrown to the center. Awareness is not action. The addiction with action is only to escape awareness, and we all have become addicted -- one must do something. This addiction is helping the continuity.

Use any opportunity to be alert -- any opportunity. And there are thousands and thousands of opportunities every day. Be alert, and you will feel the jump from the periphery to the center. This being at the center can become easy for you. You are outside the house; it has become hot. Just come in. Whenever you feel like coming in, you can come in. Whenever you are feeling like going out, you can go out. There is no difficulty.

When this movement from the periphery to the center has become just like this, then you will have explosion.

I use the word `then'; I use the word `slowly'; I say `gradually'; I say `by and by'; these words are all irrelevant. But because I cannot do anything else, I have to use these words.

They are irrelevant as far as explosion is concerned. It is never gradual, it is never slowly, it is never by and by. It is sudden. But you will not be able to understand it. So for your understanding, or if you like, your misunderstanding, these words are used.

The whole pattern of language is made for the periphery. Nothing else can be done.

Language is created by those minds that are on the periphery. It is needed by those minds that are on the periphery. It is a necessity of the periphery and not of the center. The center is absolutely silent, no language is needed there. So we have to interpret the center in the language of the periphery, then this is bound to happen.

So do not misunderstand me when I say gradually. I never mean gradually. The explosion will never come by and by. So these words are only for your confidence, so that you may hope, so that it may become conceivable for you, so that something on the periphery may be understood. It is just like talking about the world of waking consciousness to a person who is in a dream.

One has to use dream language which is absurd. Any language is absurd. Any expression is absurd in a way, but nothing can be done. One feels completely helpless, and the helplessness is so great.

One knows something. For example, I know what is meant by explosion, I know what is meant by being at the center. But I cannot tell you. You ask me; I tell you something, and I know all the time that I cannot tell you. And I know what is meant by explosion, what is meant by being at the center. The moment I begin to speak, I begin to use the language of the periphery. The moment periphery language is used, everything becomes distorted. So understand these implications.

You ask about chain explosions. Whenever there is an explosion, many things begin to happen. Because the phenomenon is so great, whenever an individual goes through it, wherever he is, he cannot help but become infectious. He may not want it, but this begins to happen. His being at the center will push anyone near him to the center also. And because of this, so many times people will begin to feel repulsed by him.

For example, Gurdjieff was felt to be repulsive by many people. They just wanted to run away from him because by being near him they would be pushed unknowingly. Many women seekers ran away from Gurdjieff because they felt as if they were hit in the sex center, just by being near him. They felt he was doing something. He was not doing anything, but because out only working center is the sex center, the first hit is always felt there. If male seekers will come to Gurdjieff they will not feel it so much. But women seekers will feel it. This is because the physical body of a male has positive bio-electricity, and the physical body of a female has negative bio-electricity, so the opposite sexes attract each other. The enlightened male radiates a tremendous energy for female seekers. And both things will happen: women seekers will be attracted toward a person like Gurdjieff and at the same time be repulsed also. The inner hit will be felt in so many ways, and each one will feel it in his own way.

In the West, it was felt very deeply for so many reasons. One is that the preliminaries were lacking. In India the seeker must touch the feet of the guru. It seems unnecessary, it looks formal, but there are secrets. If you just bow down to a teacher, you just touch his feet, your sex center will not be hit by his presence, because the moment you surrender, his energy will be felt in the whole body. A surrendered body becomes a whole. You may not have felt it, but when I tell you, now you will feel it and know it.

So the Indian way of touching the feet is lying down completely on the earth. All the parts of the body should touch the earth. We call it sashtang. It means all the parts of the body touch the earth when you are just lying on the earth. Many scientific things begin to happen. Your body becomes one and the impact vibrates on the whole body and not just on one center. It does not penetrates a particular center, but the whole body. You are horizontal, and the impact goes through you from the head toward the legs. If you are vertical, standing, the same impact passes through you, but it cannot go through your whole body; it cannot pass through your legs. The only sensitive part in you is the sex center, so it passes through the sex center. If you are standing with a teacher who is in the center, his impact, his vibrations, will pass through your center. It may become repulsive or it may become attractive. In either case, there will be difficulties. If you are lying down, then the flow passes through you, touches you, flows in you from one end to the other end. And it has a soothing effect.

In this country, where they developed this inner science, it took centuries. And they know only by so many experiences, because man cannot be experimented upon like a pig. It took centuries to know these things -- through experiences and happenings only. They made it a basic condition that one should begin with trust, faith. If you are faithful then you become open. If you are doubting, then you are closed. If you are closed, then the same energy which would have helped you toward your explosion will go round and round. It cannot penetrate you, you are closed. It will not be possible to help you. If you are open and trusting, then it goes deep inside. Then the explosion becomes a chain explosion. And this can happen, this always happens. So a trusting attitude creates great chains of explosion.

Sometimes the chain explosion goes on continuously, even when the original teacher has died. For example, in the tradition of the Sikhs, the tenth guru is the last. Up to the tenth, gurus continued, one was followed by another. But with the tenth, the tradition was stopped and broken. What is the reason? Why did Govind Singh stop the chain? It was continuous from Nanak to Govind Singh. It was a living force, but with Govind Singh it was stopped. It could not be delivered and transferred, as no one was capable. No one was open to receive it completely, totally, and it cannot be given partially. Either you are totally open or not.

Partial trust is no trust. It is just deception. It is not that you believe ninety-nine percent, even ninety-nine point nine per cent will not do. And the one-tenth percent doubt will be enough to kill the whole thing, because the one-tenth percent doubt will make you closed.

If you trust openly, then there is a chain reaction; then you come completely into the touch. Then the touch is not just a touch, it becomes part and parcel of your being.

If you are open, it does not mean that you are taking anything from me. There is no "me"

as such. It is not that you are taking something from someone else, it is only that you yourself are reflected in your own self. We just look separate because of the ego. If you are open, then the chain can continue for centuries. For example, Buddha's chain still continues. Of course, it is not so broad today; it has become a very narrow stream, but it continues.

When Bodhidharma went to China from India it was not to teach someone or to give the message of Buddha to the Chinese and to others. It was only to search for a man who can be given the explosion, who is so open that before Bodhidharma died he could transfer everything. So he was sitting in China for nine years, continuously facing a wall. If you would have gone to him, he would not even have looked at you. His back was toward all the visitors. So many people asked, "What is this? Why are you sitting like this?"

Bodhidharma would say, "I have been facing persons for many years, but I have never found in their faces anything else than a wall. No one is receptive; everyone is just like a wall. So it makes no difference now. When you come to me not as a wall, then I will face you, then I will look at you."

For nine years continuously no one came who was capable, whom Bodhidharma could face. Then come Hui Neng. He came, stood behind, then cut off his hand and gave it to Bodhidharma and said, "Now make an about turn, otherwise I will cut my head."

Bodhidharma just faced Hui Neng and said, "Now the man has come. For you I have traveled the whole of the Himalayas." And there was a transmission without scriptures.

There was no scripture with Bodhidharma, so they say the transmission was given without scripture. He just looked in the eyes of Hui Neng and there was transmission, just like from one point to another with no travel in between.

So this too must be understood. The chain of explosion is again a jump. When something from my consciousness goes to your consciousness, it is a leap. It was here, and then it is there, and it was never in between. There is no process. If you are receptive, if you are open, the flame that is here will be found there instantaneously. There will be no time gap. The chain can continue forever, but it never does. It is very difficult because even with a living teacher it is difficult to be open.

The mind tries in every way to be closed because to be open is to die. For the mind it is death. So it will try. It will argue, it will find many reasons to be closed. It will find very absurd things. In other moments, later on, you cannot conceive that these things could have made you doubt, that these meaningless things made you skeptical. These things which have no meaning at all create barriers. And if you are not open, then the chain, the transmission, is not possible.

All your meditation, and all my stress and emphasis on meditation, is just to make you open. Any moment you will be open, and there will be transmission.

Minor explosions happen daily. They are only the glimpses of the center. But that glimpse is not enough. It can help, but do not be satisfied with it. Ordinarily we become satisfied with this. There is a glimpse, and one becomes satisfied. One makes it a treasure, then one goes on remembering it. When the glimpse is changed from the center to the periphery, then it becomes a memory. Then you nourish it, then you remember it, then you feel elated by it. Then you always wonder when it will happen again. Then it has become a part of the periphery, of the memory. It is useless.

Minor explosions can even be fatal if you nourish them as memory. Throw them, forget them. Do not ask for their repetition. Only then the major will be possible. Only then the total explosion will be possible.

So there are minor explosions, but I never pay any attention to them. And you should not pay any attention to them either, because then they only become a part of the memory.

They cannot destroy the memory; on the contrary, they can strengthen it. So a small experience, a petty experience, cannot do. Throw it. Unless the total is achieved, do not be contented.

Before the ultimate explosion, do not be satisfied. Remain discontented. Never remember anything that has happened. No experience should be accumulated and nourished. As it happens, throw it, forget it, go ahead. Unless there is a total explosion... nothing short of that will do, so do not pay any attention.

Things have happened, things are happening, but I never talk about minor explosions. If someone comes to me and says that there is this minor explosion, I will just try to throw it. It should not be remembered, it will be a barrier. Continue to the center, until you reach to the point from where there is no coming back. When that point comes it is never a part of memory. You remember only the things which are lost. That which is always with you, you need not remember.

Really, you become aware only when the experience is lost. If you say, "I love you very much," be aware that there is every possibility that the love is ending. It may have gone already. It is only an ego of the past. That is why you emphasize, "I love you very much."

"Very much" is an effort to fill the gap, and there is a gap. The love has gone. When love exists, you feel it and live it, silence is enough. When it is gone, you chatter about it. Now silence is not enough. On the contrary, in silence the dead love will be exposed. In silence, you cannot hide it. Now you begin to chatter about it. Ordinarily, we are not speaking to tell things. On the contrary, we are speaking to hide things. In silence, you cannot hide it with words.

Whenever you become aware of any minor explosion, do not nourish the memory, and do not long for its repetition. It has gone, it has become a part of the dead past. Throw it. Let the dead be buried, and go ahead. And when the real explosion, the major explosion, the ultimate explosion, happens, you will not remember it. You will not need to remember it, it will be with you. It will be your center. It will be your being, you cannot forget it.

There is no meaning to remembering or forgetting. And unless the major happens, the minor has no meaning.

And you also asked whether the people who are around me are going through explosion.

Yes, they are going toward it. If they are not going toward it, they cannot remain with me for long, they cannot continue. So whenever incapable ones come to me, either they will go by themselves or I will create situations in which they will go. With them nothing can be done. But those who remain with me, continue with me. I allow them to do so only if they are going toward the explosion, if their understanding is deepening, if they are becoming more alert and aware. Of course, the path is arduous and there are many pitfalls. One goes one step and then falls two steps back; it happens daily. The path is not straight; it is criss-cross. And it is not on a plane; it is just like on a hilly track. So many times you come to the same point, only on a slightly higher level.

I allow only those to be near me in whom I see possibilities, potentialities, otherwise I create situations in which they leave by themselves. It is very easy to create a situation for someone to leave. It is very difficult to create a situation for someone to stay.

Everyone is ready to leave, because to come to the center is really the only arduous adventure. And with me, they will be always in a struggle. With me, they cannot exist on the periphery. Their minds will try every method to be on the periphery, but they can only stay with me if they are proceeding toward the center.

When you are with me, you continue to be on the periphery, and I continue to be on the center. The whole process is the same as the inner struggle in each one of you. Your being remains at the center, and your ego remains on the periphery. There is struggle and tension. And when you come to me, you become the periphery, I become the center, and the same struggle begins. But being with me helps in many ways. If you can continue to be with me for some time, you will be able to remain with your being, with your center, more easily. This phenomenon is the same as it is within each individual; there is no difference.

When I talk to you, I talk to you as your center. When you are with me it is as if you are with your center. And when one day you will explode to the center, then you will know.

Before that you cannot know, before that you will have to just trust me.

When you come to your center, then you will know that you have not lived with me before, you have only lived in your center's reflection. But that comes only later on when you pass through it. But this will happen. Everyone is potentially capable. If he hinders himself, that is another thing. Otherwise, if you do not hinder yourself, if you are not an enemy to yourself, you are as capable as any buddha, and the thing will happen.

I Am the Gate

Chapter #7

Chapter title: The occult mysteries of initiation

10 June 1971 pm in Bombay, India

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Question 1

BELOVED MASTER,

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE INITIATED INTO THE SPIRITUAL LIFE? WHAT IS

THE DEEPER OCCULT AND ESOTERIC SIGNIFICANCE OF INITIATION? WHAT

SORT OF INITIATION ARE YOU GIVING TO THE NON-SANNYASINS AND TO

THE SANNYASINS? PLEASE TELL US ABOUT THEM IN DETAIL.

Man exists as if in sleep. Man is asleep. Whatsoever is known as waking is also a sleep.

Initiation means to be intimate contact with one who is awakened. Unless you are in intimate contact with one who is awakened, it is impossible to come out of your sleep, because the mind is capable even to dream that it is out of sleep. The mind can dream that now there is no more sleep, and in any dream you cannot know that it is a dream. You can only know that it was a dream when you are out of it.

You can never know a dream in the present. You always become aware of it when it has gone, when it has passed. No one can ever say, "This is a dream." No present tense can be used for a dream. You always say that this was a dream, because in a dream, the dream itself appears to be real. If a dream is not appearing as real, it will be broken. Only if there is an appearance of reality can dream be created.

When I say man is asleep, this is to be understood. We are dreaming continuously twenty-four hours a day. In the night we are closed to the outward world, dreaming inside. In the day our senses are opened toward the outside world, but the dream continues inside. Close your eyes for a moment, and you can be again in a dream. It is a continuity inside. You are aware of the outside world, but the awareness is not without the dreaming mind. It is over, and imposed on, the dreaming mind, but inside the dream continues. That is why we are not seeing what is real, even when we are so-called awake.

We impose our dreams on reality. We never see what is, we always see our projections.

If I look at you and there is a dream in me, you will become an object of projection. I will project my dream on you, and whatsoever I understand about you will be mixed with my dream, with my projection. When I love you, you appear to me one way. When I do not love you, you appear to me completely different. You are not the same. I have used you just as a screen and projected my dreaming mind on you. When I love you then the dream is different, so you appear different. When I do not love you, you are the same, the screen is the same, but the projection is different. Now I am using you as a screen for another dream of mine. Again the dream can change. Again I can love you, then you will again appear different to me. We are never seeing what is. We are always seeing our own dream projected on what is.

So the dreaming mind creates a world around it which is not real. That is what is meant by maya, illusion. By illusion it is not meant that the world is not, the noise outside on the street is not. It is but as it is. We can never know it unless the dreaming mind stops inside.

For someone the noise may be music, for someone else just disturbance. In some moment you may not be aware of the noise, in another you will become aware. In some moments you will tolerate it, in some moments it will become unbearable, intolerable. The noise is the same, the street is the same, the traffic is the same, but your dreaming mind changes.

With your dreaming mind the whole thing around you takes on new colors. When we say the world is illusion, maya, it does not mean that the world is not; it is. But as we see it, that seeing is illusion. It is nowhere to be found. So when someone is awakened it is not that this world just disappears, but the world that was known by him before his awakening disappears completely. An altogether new world, an objective world, comes in its place. All the colors that were given by you, all the shapes, all the meanings and interpretations that were given by you according to your dreaming mind, are no more.

As far as this world of maya, this world of illusion, this world of projection is concerned, we never live in one world. Each man lives in his own world. And there are as many worlds as there are dreaming persons. I am not the same to each one of you. Each one projects onto me something. I am one as far as I am concerned. But if I myself am dreaming, then even for me, I am different each moment. For each moment my interpretation will differ. If I am awakened then I am the same. Buddha says somewhere that the test of the enlightened one is that he is the same always, just like the sea water.

Anywhere, everywhere, it is salty.

If I am awakened, then for me I am the same -- not only in this life, but I have been the same in all lives that have gone. I have been the same for eternity. The real me has remained the same. It is unchangeable, only the projection changes. The screen remains the same, the film changes, the picture changes. But the screen is never seen. You see the picture on it projected. When there is no projection then you see the screen, otherwise the screen is never seen. And the screen remains the same. The picture changes, and you see a change in me. If I am awakened, I will be the same for me, but you will look at me in so many ways, because you will come to me with your dreaming mind which will project.

To someone I may look like a friend and to someone I may look like an enemy. He will project himself. We create a world around ourselves, and everyone lives in his own world. That is why there is a collision; worlds collide, your world and mine. So when two persons begin to live in one room, there are two worlds living there, and the collision is inevitable. There are not only two persons living in the room, the room has enough place for two persons -- but the room has not enough space for two worlds. Whenever there are two persons in a room, there are two worlds.

The whole conflict of human society, of human relationship, is between worlds, not between persons. If, really, I am a person without a world created by my dreams and you are also a person without a world created by your dreams, we can live in a room for eternity without any collision, because this room is enough for two persons. But for two worlds even the whole planet is not enough. There exist so many worlds, as every individual is a world. And he lives inside his world and is closed. This is a sleep. You have around yourself a filmy enclosure of projections, ideas, notions, conceptions, interpretations. You are a projector going on and on projecting things which are nowhere, only inside you, and the whole world becomes a screen. You can never be aware by yourself that you are in deep sleep.

There is a sufi saint Hijra... an angel appears in his dream. He says to him that he should save as much water as possible because tomorrow morning all the water of this world is going to be poisoned by the devil, and everyone who will drink this water will become mad. So the fakir saves as much water, the whole night, as possible. And really the phenomenon happens. Everyone become mad that next morning. No one knows the whole city has become mad. Only the fakir is not mad, but the whole city talks as if the fakir has gone mad. He knows it is everyone else who is mad, but no one believes him.

He goes on drinking his water and remains alone, but he cannot continue. The whole city is living in an altogether different world. No one listens to him, and now there is a rumor that he will be caught and sent to prison.

They have come one morning to get hold of him. Either he should be treated as ill or should go to prison. He cannot be allowed freedom. He has become absolutely mad.

Whatsoever he says is not understandable, he talks in a different language. The fakir is at a loss to understand. He tries to help them to remember their past, but they have forgotten everything. They do not know anything of the past, anything about before that maddening morning. They cannot understand, the fakir has become incomprehensible. They are around his house, they have caught hold of him.

And the fakir says, "Give me one moment more. I shall treat myself." He runs to the common well, drinks the water, and he becomes all right. Now the whole city is happy.

The fakir is okay now. Now he is not mad. Really, he has gone mad now! But now he is part and parcel of the common world. If everyone is asleep, you will never be aware even that you are asleep. If everyone is mad, and you are mad, you will never be aware of it.

By initiation is meant that you have surrendered to someone who is awakened. You say,

"I do not understand it. I cannot understand, and I am part of the world which is mad and asleep. I am dreaming all the time. My reasoning is phony, because whenever I act, I act from the irrational part of my mind. I always act unconsciously, then later on I rationalize it. I fall in love with someone, and then I begin to rationalize why I love -- where is the reason? The phenomenon happens this way. First I begin to like something, and then I find reasons why I like it. The liking comes first, then follows rationalization. And the liking is irrational."

This feeling can come even from a sleeping person, because a sleep is not always deep. It wavers, becoming very deep, then coming up and becoming very shallow. Sleep is never on one plane. There are fluctuations in sleep, even in ordinary sleep there are fluctuations. In the whole night you are not on the same plane. Sometimes you go very deep, so deep that you cannot remember anything about it later on. If you have slept very deeply, then in the morning you say, "I have not dreamed anything." You have dreamed, but the sleep was so deep that you cannot remember. Now there are implements which can show that you have dreamed. You deny because no memory is there. You were so deep, the distance was so much from your conscious memory, that the mind could not get anything from the dream. Sometimes sleep is very shallow, just on the border. Then you can remember your dream. Ordinarily we always remember only morning dreams, just before we are coming out of the sleep, because the sleep is very shallow and the gap is very little.

Ordinary sleep is a fluctuation between so many levels, so many planes. Sometimes you are just wavering between waking and sleep. You can hear something from the outside when you are wavering, when the fluctuations are just on the border. You have gone to sleep. You hear something, someone is talking about something, something is understood, something is lost, and you can hear. But then you are fast asleep, in a deep sleep. Then someone is talking and you cannot hear. There is no question of interpretation, there is no question of meaning, you cannot hear.

Just like in this ordinary sleep, the same happens in the metaphysical sleep I am talking about. Sometimes you are just on the border line, very near to the buddha. Then you can understand something of what the buddha is talking about, what he is saying. You can understand something, but, of course, it will never be exactly as it is said. But at least you have something, you have a glimpse of the truth.

So a person who is on his border of metaphysical sleep will like to be initiated. He can hear something, he can understand something, he sees something. Everything is as if it is in a mist, but still he feels something. So he can approach a person who is awakened and surrender himself. This much can be done by a sleepy person. This much can be done so that he can surrender. This surrendering means he understands that something quite different from his sleep is happening. Somewhere he feels it. He cannot know it correctly, but he feels it.

Whenever a buddha passes, those who are on the borderline of sleep feel that something has happened to this man. He behaves differently, he speaks differently, he lives differently, he walks differently. Something has happened to this man. Those who are on the borderline can feel it, but they are asleep. And this borderline is not permanent. Again they may go in a deep sleep, but even a word can pull them out. So before they fall down into deeper unconsciousness they can surrender to the awakened one.

This is initiation from the side of the initiated. He says, "I cannot do anything myself. I am helpless. And I know that if I do not surrender in this moment, I may go again into deep sleep. Then it will be impossible to surrender." So there are moments which cannot be lost. And one who loses those moments may not be able to get them again for centuries, for lifetimes, because it is not in one's hands to come to the borderline.

Sometimes it happens for so many reasons beyond your control. You cannot control your sleep. Sometimes it happens that a buddha is passing. You can surrender, but only if you are on the border.

There is a very meaningful story in Buddha's life....

When he himself became awakened, for seven days continuously he was silent. He did not feel like speaking. This is a very beautiful story. The gods became uneasy, because if Buddha remains silent what will become of those on the borderline? He cannot do anything for those who are in a deep sleep, even a Buddha cannot do anything for them.

And he cannot do anything for those who are already awakened, they do not need any help from him. But there are a few who are just on the edge, and just a small push will awaken them. His very presence may be enough to awaken them.

So the gods came to Buddha, prayed to him, and asked him to speak. Buddha said to them that there are persons who cannot be helped. They are so asleep, it is useless to speak with them. Those who can listen to me, they are already awake. So there is no need to talk with them either. So why do you ask me to talk? It is meaningless. Let me remain silent. And the gods said, "But there is still a category that is left. Those who are not so awake that they can understand that they are just on the border. They may not even listen to all you say, but even a word may pull them out. You must speak."

It is only after thousands and thousands of years that a person becomes a buddha. He must speak, he must not remain silent. The opportunity must not be lost. Buddha became convinced. Yes, there is a third category. That third category is the category of the initiates, the mid-category.

From the one who is being initiated it is surrender, and nothing else will do. Initiation means to be surrendered. The Buddhist term for initiation and the one who is being initiated is shrotapann, one who has come in the current. Then you will have your aims, your goal to reach somewhere.

So there are persons who come to the enlightened one, but they will begin to argue. They will want reasons, they will ask proof, they will like to be convinced. This way is struggle

-- they fight with the enlightened one. This does not harm the enlightened one, but this harms you because the moment is being lost. You were in the mid-category, that is why you have come. But now you are losing the moment; it may be that you will go again in deep sleep. Surrendering means one who begins to flow with the stream, who gives himself to the stream.

Now the stream flows; he follows it. He is just in a let-go, a total let-go. So for the initiated, initiation is a let-go, a complete trust, a complete surrender. It can never be partial. If you surrender partially, you are not surrendering; you are deceiving yourself.

There can be no partial surrender, because in a partial surrender you are withholding something. And that withholding may push you again into deep sleep. That non-surrendering part will prove fatal; any moment you may be again in deep sleep. Surrender is always total. That is why faith was required and will always be required in initiation.

Faith is required as a total condition, as a total requirement. And the moment you surrender totally, things begin to change. Now you cannot go back to your dreamland.

This surrendering shatters the whole projection. This surrender shatters the whole projecting mind, because this projecting mind is tethered to an ego. It cannot live without the ego. The ego is the main center of it. I call someone my friend. Why? I call someone my enemy. Why? The enemy is one who has hurt my ego, and the friend is one who has fed it, who has nourished it. That is why we say, "A friend in need is a friend indeed."

Why need? What is the need? The need comes when your ego is starving, then the friend is known. Our whole dreaming world, our dreaming mind, is based on the pedestal of ego. If you surrender, you have surrendered the very base. You have given up completely. Now you cannot continue wavering, because the dream is given up.

So from the side of the initiate, it is a total surrender. For the initiated one it is not very difficult to understand what initiation is. It is very simple. It is just a person who is asleep asking for help to be awakened, and he surrenders to someone who is awake. This is very simple. The thing is not very complex.

But for the one who initiates you, the thing is very complex, very difficult. Ordinarily we think that surrendering is very difficult. You are helpless, you cannot do anything. You may not surrender, but when you know more you will come to the point of surrendering.

One day it is bound to come because you cannot do anything else. You cannot continue with a non-surrendering attitude, because this will create miseries, agony and hell for you. You cannot continue. There is bound to come one moment when out of your frustration, out of your own nightmare, you will surrender. This is not the difficult part of the initiation. This is a very simple thing. But for the one who initiates you, it is a very complex affair; there are many things involved. Many things are ESOteric, not EXOteric.

It is good that we should understand from the exoteric, the outer things, and then proceed to the esoteric, the inner things.

The first thing corresponding to surrender is responsibility. The one who is asleep surrenders, the one who is awake takes the responsibility. When you go to a Buddha, to a Jesus or to a Mohammed, and surrender yourself, he takes the whole responsibility. What you are surrendering is that which is with you. You cannot surrender anything more --

you are nothing more than sleep and dream. You surrender this. Your sleep, your dreaming, your whole nonsense of the past... you surrender.

Surrendering is always of the past, responsibility is always for the future. You have no future, you are only a dreamy past. A long number of memories, of dreams, of many lives, is surrendered. That too you surrender very arduously. It is so difficult to surrender even this, just a dusty past. Nothing more is with you. You have been asleep and dreamy.

You have a record of so many dreams -- good or bad, beautiful or ugly, but dreams all the same. You surrender before being lost: that too with great hardship, that too is very difficult, a struggle; that too you try to withhold, to resist. Something must be saved.

What have you got? Nothing but a long series of dreams, a long sleep.

So from the initiated it is a surrendering of the past. From the one who initiates you, it is a responsibility for the future. He becomes responsible, and only he can be responsible.

You can never be responsible. How can one who is asleep be responsible? Responsibility is never a part of sleep. If you commit a murder in your sleep, if you are a somnambulist walking in your sleep and you commit a murder, no court will make you responsible, because there is no responsibility.

A person who is in deep sleep, how is he responsible? You never feel responsible for your dreams. You may commit anything in your dreams, but you never feel any responsibility. You may murder, but you say that it was just a dream. Responsibility comes with awakening. This is really a fundamental law of life. One who is asleep is not responsible even for himself, and one who is awakened is responsible even for others.

A person who is enlightened, who is awakened, feels he is even responsible for the whole mess that you have created. A buddha feels compassion. A buddha feels guilty for your crimes, for your sins; he feels involved, he feels responsible. He knows that you do not know; he is fully aware. For example, the third world war is going to come. The one who is awakened knows full well that it is coming. It is coming nearer daily. Soon it will be over us. You are asleep and deep in it. He is not in a sleep, he is not in a dream. He is fully conscious like radar; he knows the future that is coming. He feels guilty, he must do something. For example, you are in a plane, flying in the sky. You are asleep, dreamy, but the pilot is aware. If anything is going to happen, if the engine begins to make a noise, a very slight noise; if no one knows about it but something has gone wrong, only he will be responsible. No one else is responsible. He is fully awake, and the only one.

A buddha will feel responsible for all our crimes and sins. The whole story of Jesus is based on this responsibility. The whole of Christianity, the whole concept, begins from this responsibility. Jesus feels responsible for all the sins of man from Adam to us. Jesus feels responsible, so he takes the cross on his shoulders in order that our sins may be pardoned, forgiven. He is in no way responsible. If Adam has done something and the whole human mind has done something, why should he be responsible? Dogmatic Christians have discussed this for centuries. Jesus has not committed any sins; still, I say he feels responsible because he is awakened. By the very phenomenon of awakening he has become responsible for all that the sleepy ones have done. His burden is added, his cross is heavy. His crucifixion is symbolic; it is for us that he dies so that we may live.

That is why the crucifixion of Jesus has become a historic event.

He is a person who has felt responsible for the whole human race, and dies for it so that man may be transformed. But even with his death we are not transformed. His message was heard in our dream, and we interpret it in our own ways. Then his life becomes a part of our dreaming world. We create churches and dogmas, we create sects. Then there are Catholic and Protestant sects and so many others. The whole nonsense returns in so many new ways, and the world remains the same.

We begin to worship him. That is, we begin to dream about him, that he is the son of God. We are not initiated, we are not transformed. Rather, on the contrary, we transform his reality into our dream. We create a church for him, we create an idol of him, we worship him -- and continue our sleep. Really, we use him as a tranquilizer. It becomes a Sunday affair. For one hour in the week we go to him, and then we continue on our own track. He helps us to sleep well; our conscience becomes easy, we feel religious. We go to the church to pray, worship, and are back home the same. We become more easy. Now there is no burden to be religious, to be transformed. We are religious already, because we have been to church where we have worshipped and prayed. We are religious already, and the whole thing goes on the same way.

Corresponding to surrender is responsibility. Responsibility means answerability. It means Jesus feels answerable for you. He feels that if there is any God, he will be responsible. He will be asked and he will have to answer why this or that has happened to humanity. Responsibility means this. He feels it as a natural happening with him. And if you come to him and surrender to him, then he becomes particularly responsible for you.

Krishna could say to Arjuna, "Leave everything. Come to me, surrender at my feet."

Jesus could say, "I am the truth. I am the door, I am the gate. Come to me, pass through me. I will be the witness on the last day of your judgment. I will answer for you." This is all analogical. Every day is the day of judgment, and every moment is the moment of judgment. There is not going to be any last day. This is just what could be understood by the people to whom Jesus was speaking. "I will be responsible for you, and I will answer for you when the divine asks, and I will be there as a witness. You surrender to me; I will be your witness," Jesus said.

This is a great responsibility. No one who is asleep can take it, because even to carry your own responsibility becomes difficult in sleep. You cannot carry others' responsibility.

You can carry others' responsibility only when your responsibility is no more, when you are unburdened completely -- really, when you are no more! This declaration of being no more is being made in so many ways.

When Jesus said, "I am the son of the father who is in heaven," what he meant really is that he is not a son of the person who is known as his father, he is not the son of Mary who is known as his mother. Why? Sometimes it seems very cruel. One day he was standing in a crowd and someone said, "Your mother, Mary, has come. She is calling you outside this crowd, she is waiting for you." And Jesus said, "I have no mother! Who is my mother? Who is my father? No one is my mother, no one is my father." It appears cruel. The mother is standing outside the crowd. She is waiting, and Jesus says to tell her,

"No one is my mother, no one is my father." Why? He is just denying the pattern of your dreaming. "This is my father, mother, wife, brother..." This is the pattern of the dreaming mind, the dreaming world, the world of projection. Jesus just denies it. And the moment you deny the mother, you have denied the whole world, because with her everything begins -- the whole world. That is the beginning, the root of coming into this dreamy world, the root of relationship, the root of sansara.

If you deny your mother, you have denied everything. It appears cruel to those who are fast asleep, but it is just a fact. The emphasis that "I am the son of the one who is in heaven," is just to say, "I am not an individual. I am not Jesus, the son of Mary. I am part and parcel of the divine force, the cosmic force."

One who feels like that, like part of the cosmic, can initiate you. Otherwise, no one can initiate you. No particular individual can initiate anyone. And it happens so many times, it is happening every day -- those who are themselves asleep will initiate those who are also asleep; the blind leading the blind. Both fall into the ditch. No one who is asleep can initiate anyone. But the ego wants to initiate; this egoistic attitude has proved very dangerous.

The whole initiation, the whole mystery of it, the whole beauty of it, became ugly because of those who were not entitled to initiate. Only one who has no ego inside, who has no sleep inside, who has no dream inside, can initiate. Otherwise, initiation is the greatest sin, because then you are deceiving not only others but yourself also -- because initiation is a great responsibility, the ultimate responsibility. Now you are becoming responsible for another. To become responsible for someone is not just a play, this is taking the impossible in your hands. You are becoming responsible for someone else who is at folly.

So this responsibility can be taken only when there is total surrender; otherwise it cannot be taken. One who is withholding himself, his responsibility cannot be taken, because he will continue himself; he will not listen to you. He will interpret you in his own ways.

There is a Sufi story....

A rich man died. He was not only rich, he was wise also, which happens very rarely. His son was only ten or twelve years of age, so he made a will in which he wrote to the eldest of the village, the panchayat. He proclaimed in that will, "From my property, whatsoever you like most, you take, then you give it to my child."

The will was as clear as the sunrise. The five elders divided the whole property. All that was of any worth, they divided among themselves. Nothing was left except a bit which was useless. No one was ready to take that, so it was given to the child. But the old dying man had given a letter to the boy also, which he was to open when he came of age. So when he was of age he opened the letter in which his father had written, "The elders, may, of course, interpret the will in their own way. When you are of age, give it this interpretation. This is my interpretation, this is what I mean to say: Take all that you like most, and then, all that you like most, give it to my child. "

The son produced the letter before the elders. They never conceived of any such meaning, so they had divided everything amongst themselves. They returned the whole thing, because now the meaning was clear, and the boy was ready. And the father had also written: "It is good that they should interpret in their own way until the time for you to take it comes, because if I give it to you directly, before you are of age, it will be destroyed by these elders. Let them protect it as their own property until you are ready to take it over." And they had protected it as if it were their own.

So whenever there is a partial surrender, you will interpret any message, any commandment, any order to you, in the way which appeals to you most. In your sleep, you will make it meaningful through your sleepy mind. So unless one surrenders totally, the responsibility cannot be taken. And when one surrenders totally, the total responsibility comes to the teacher, to the awakened one. Then it is total.

In the old days, initiation was not easy; it was the most difficult thing. The very phenomenon was such that it had to be difficult. One had to wait for years to be initiated.

Even for a whole life one may wait, because unless one is ready he will not be initiated.

This waiting stage was really a testing ground. Are you patient? Can you wait? Only in waiting is your maturity revealed. A child cannot wait even for a single moment. If he wants a toy, he wants it just now; he cannot wait. So the more impatient the mind, the less mature. So before initiation in the old days, one had to wait for so many years. This waiting was a testing ground, and this waiting was also a discipline.

For example, Sufis will only initiate when you have waited for a particular period. You wait without questioning just for the moment when the teacher himself will answer. One had to do many things. For example, a Sufi may be a shoemaker. If you are to be initiated, you will have to help him for years in shoemaking. And not even this can be questioned. What will happen by the shoemaking? How are you going to be a self-realized one? How are you going to be the divine? This shoemaking, what is the relevance? Even if this relevance is asked about, you will be thrown out, because that is not your business.

It is the teacher's business to know what is relevant. How can you know? You do not know the divine, so you cannot know how shoemaking is related to the divine; you cannot know. For five years one is just waiting and helping the teacher in shoemaking.

He will never talk of prayer or meditation. He will never talk of anything except shoemaking. You have waited for five years, but this is a meditation. It is no ordinary meditation, you will be cleansed through it.

This simple, unquestioned waiting, this relying, will make the ground ready for complete surrender. And sometimes it looks so easy from the outside. It is not so easy, it is very difficult. Your mind will resist, your mind will ask questions, your mind will raise problems. It will ask, "What am I doing? Am I doing something rightly or am I just wasting my time? Is this man really worth being with, with this shoemaking? Is it in any way related to the search?"

The mind will continue to ask. Inside you will be bubbling, and yet you cannot ask. You have to rely, you have to wait for the moment. If you can wait for even one year, the mind will become silent by itself. It cannot continue unless you feed it daily, unless you help it daily. Unless you become daily disturbed by it, it cannot continue. You have been just waiting, and the mind is just chattering, raising questions.

You have waited and waited and waited, then the question will become meaningless. The mind will just be exhausted. It will just lose interest, it will just go dead. And though you are waiting, a moment will come when there is no questioning. When there is no questioning, the teacher will answer.

Exactly the moment of no questioning within the disciple is the moment for the teacher to answer, because now you can hear. Your chattering has stopped; now you are silent, now you have become a passage. But ordinarily we feed the mind daily. We are disturbed. We will not even wait for an hour, to see whether it can continue for one hour. You will not even wait and see whether this mind can continue. It cannot continue, because with the mind nothing is permanent. It will go by itself.

A Tibetan teacher, Milarepa, had it as a rule that if some question came to him he would answer only after you waited for seven days. This is the price one has to pay for everything. If you asked this moment, he would throw you out: "Wait for seven days, stay with the question." And, really, you cannot stay with it for seven days. Seven days are too long.

Sometimes someone comes to me and asks me a question, and if I can dodge him and talk even for two minutes about something else, he forgets the question; he never comes again for his question. He can talk for one hour and will not raise that question again. It was just a whim, just a wave. It means nothing. So if you can wait for five years, you will not be the same.

Waiting will be a great difficulty. In the old days initiation was done after a long waiting.

Then surrender was easy, and responsibility too could be taken. Now the whole thing has become different, no one is ready to wait. The most acute disease of the modern mind is hurry. The new phenomenon of the modern mind is time consciousness, the basic change that has come in the mind is time consciousness. We have become so time conscious that not for a single moment can we wait. It is an impossibility.

That is why this whole age has become childish. There is no maturity anywhere, because maturity is always a by-product of waiting. And waiting is only possible with timeless consciousness, not with time consciousness. Because of this time consciousness, initiation has become impossible. You cannot be initiated. You run past Buddha and ask him, "Will you initiate me?" You meet Buddha on the street while you are running, and even this utterance of four or five words has not been from a standing position. You have been running.

Maturity has become impossible. But why this time consciousness which is a barrier --

the greatest barrier? Why was it not there before? Why is it now great?

Time consciousness deepens only when you become fearful of death. You may not be aware of it, but the more you become aware of death, the more you become time conscious. Not a single moment should be lost! Death is there. Every moment lost is lost forever, and death comes near; you are going to die. So use every moment! You cannot wait, because waiting only means waiting for death. Death is coming. No one can wait, no one knows what is going to happen tomorrow, the next moment. Death may come.

You become uneasy, you begin trembling, you begin to run. This whole running of the modern mind is because of the fear of death.

For the first time man is so fearful of death, because for the first time man has become absolutely unaware of the deathless. If you are aware of the deathless, then there is no hurry. You live in eternity, and there is always enough time, more than enough. Nothing is lost, because time is eternal. So if a moment is lost does not mean that less time will be left. The time remains the same because it is eternal. From a treasury which is immeasurable, you cannot lose anything. You may go on losing, it makes no difference; what remains is the same. You cannot take anything out of it. But we are short of time.

Time is short, and death is there.

We are only conscious of the body which is going to die. We are not conscious of the inner consciousness which is deathless. In ancient days there were people who were conscious of the deathless. Because of their consciousness, deathlessness, they created an atmosphere, a new sphere, in which there was no hurry. Things would move slowly if they moved at all. Then initiation was easy, then waiting was easy, then surrender was easy, then responsibilities were easy. They all have become difficult now. But still, there is no alternative, initiation is needed. The old initiation has become impossible, so a new initiation must replace it. The old must be replaced by a newer one. My whole effort is toward that.

If you are in a hurry, then I will give initiation in your running state of affairs, because otherwise there will be no initiation. So I cannot ask you to wait as a precondition. I must initiate you first and then prolong your waiting in so many ways. Through so many devices I will persuade you to wait, because without waiting there is no maturity. So when you will be ready there will be a second initiation, which would have been the first in the old days. It cannot now be the first.

Sometimes people are bewildered. Sometimes someone comes to me; he has not even heard me, he has not even known me, and I initiate him into sannyas. This is absurd, not understandable at all. But I know. And whatsoever I am doing, I am doing very considerately. This is just the beginning, this initiation, because only through this initiation will I be able to create devices for his waiting; otherwise he cannot wait. If I tell him, "Wait five years, and then I will give you initiation," he cannot wait. If I give it to him this very moment, then he can wait.

So let it be like this, it makes no difference. The same will be the process. Because you cannot wait, I change. I will allow you to wait afterwards, and then there will be a second initiation. This is the formal initiation, the second one will be informal. The second one will be like a happening. You will not ask me, I will not give you. It will happen. In the innermost being it will happen, and you will know it when it happens.

Now there is no other way possible for this world, for this moment. For this time conscious mind, there is no other way. First I will push you, then I will have to work on you. The working is also going to be quite different. It cannot be the same. For example, I will have to work much with your intellect, which was never before needed. It was always thought of as a barrier. I also know it is a barrier, I also am aware that nothing really can happen with the intellect. But I will have to work and labor with your intellect, because now if someone says that your intellect is not needed, this statement will be interpreted by your intellect. You will be just disconnected with the person, there will be no further intimacy. This will be a closing of the door. Today that cannot be said. Of course, it is a basic truth, but it cannot be uttered. It could be uttered in the old days.

Now I will have to do much with your intellect. And only when I have worked with your intellect so much, in a way it has never before been worked with, more than your capacity, only then will you be ready for the statement, "Throw the intellect" -- not before. If you become convinced -- and intellect becomes convinced very easily because it is a very superficial part -- that whatsoever is said is rational only, then I can begin with the irrational. There is the real beginning.

But to come to your heart I will have to go round and round through your intellectual by-passes. The labyrinth of intellect has to be traveled unnecessarily, but for this age that has become necessary. Now, even the irrational will have to be found by a rational effort.

This period of waiting will be a training for the intellect toward the beyond, and simultaneously I will force you and push you toward meditation. In the old days meditation was very secret, very esoteric. It would be given to you only when you were totally ready, because it is the most secret key of the most secret treasure. It could only be given when you were completely ready, otherwise it could not be given.

But if I wait for your readiness, it is not going to be given to you at all. So I will give you a key -- of course, a false one. You can toy with it, and with that you can wait. More than that key, the waiting will help. Even with a false key, you will be more at ease. But the key is made in such a way that if you go on using it, it will become an authentic one. The key is made in such a way that if you go on using it....

It cannot unlock the door this very moment. They key is false, it has corners which it should not have. But if you go on trying with it, those corners will fall down, will wither.

It will become a real key, and daily it will move more. I think you understand me. I am not going to replace it with another key. The same key will become authentic by much using. The unnecessary corners of it will have withered. But I cannot wait for you to be ready to be given a ready key which can open the door this very moment. The door is ready, the key is ready, but you are not ready.

So there are two ways. The old way is that you should wait. I will say, "Wait five years.

This is the key, that is the door, but wait for five years. Do not ask again where is the key, do not touch the door even in curiosity, do not go near the lock. Wait! Even if I see that you are looking at the lock, I will turn you out. Just wait. Never look to the lock, never have avarice. This is the key. I will give it to you when you are ready." This was the old way. People waited for years. Even for lives people have waited.

There is a story....

One disciple waited for three lives. The teacher was experimenting with him to see how much he could wait. He said, "I am going to know how much you can wait."

The disciple said, "Okay, I will also see how much you can wait." It is going to be a waiting for both; never think that it is going to be a waiting for you alone. If you are waiting, I am also waiting. And I am in more of a hurry than you because I may not be again." So the disciple said, "Let us see who can wait more."

It became difficult for the teacher. He had to come for three lives again, and the disciple waited. Each time he would come and sit, and each time the same story was repeated.

In the end the teacher lost patience, and he said, "Take this key. You have won; I am defeated."

The disciple said, "Why are you in such a hurry? I can wait still more."

He said, "You can wait, but I have to come to this earth unnecessarily for this waiting, and it looks as if you can continue forever. So take this key."

But the disciple said, "The key has come to me because such long waiting has itself become a key. I do not need it now."

The teacher said, "This was also one reason why I was in such a hurry -- because if you wait still more there will be no need for the key to be given! This very waiting will become a key."

This was the old way. Wait first, then the key will be given. Now that is not possible, so I have to change the whole thing. I give you the key, then you can play with it. You cannot wait unoccupied, but you can wait occupied. Now you have the key, you have the lock, the door, you have rumors about the treasury; you have everything. I go on rumoring about the treasury. You have the key. You can wait, you can play with the lock and key.

And by this very playing and waiting the false key will turn into an authentic one.

The responsibility of the teacher corresponds to your surrender. There are many other things the teacher does which are not in any correspondence with the disciple. Only in one thing is the teacher in correspondence with the disciple, that is the bridge. Surrender from the disciple, responsibility from the teacher -- that is the bridge. There are many things which are only with the teacher. Really, the disciple has not to do much. The teacher has to do much. And that is right also, that is how it should be. The disciple always thinks that he is doing much, but it is the teacher who has to do much.

So he can just indicate something. He has to work with you on many layers simultaneously. He has to work with your body, which you cannot understand, because you are completely unaware of your body, you do not know anything about your body.

You only know your body when you feel hungry, when you feel pain, disease; that is all.

That is the only contact with your body. You do not know what a great phenomenon your body is.

The teacher has to do much with your body, because unless your body transforms, the innermost cannot be tackled. And he has to do it in such a way that you should not become aware that he is doing something with your body, because if you become aware, the very consciousness will create disturbance in your body. And the teacher will not be able to do it, because this is a secret phenomenon of the body; it works when you are not conscious of it. If you become conscious, it will not work.

You can make an experiment. Tomorrow, be conscious when you are eating, and then be conscious that the stomach is working to change the food into living nourishment. Be conscious for twenty-four hours and you will feel sick, your stomach will be disturbed.

You will not be able to be nourished by the food, it will become poison. You will have to throw it away completely, the whole system will be disturbed. That is why you need sleep. In sleep, the body can function better. You are not conscious.

If someone is ill, the doctor will see first whether his sleep is good. Otherwise no medicine will do, no help can be given. He cannot be helped, because his body cannot work -- he is too conscious. Unnecessarily, we continue so many diseases because of this consciousness. Once your stomach is disturbed, you become conscious about it. Then the stomach is all right, but the consciousness continues; then this consciousness will disturb.

And this will become a vicious circle -- your consciousness is disturbed by your stomach, and your stomach is disturbed by your consciousness. Now you cannot be out of it. You will go on in it, and this will become a lifelong thing.

One day your sleep is disturbed. Another day you are all right, but now you have become conscious. Now you are thinking it may be that today also sleep is not going to come.

Today you have become conscious. Sleep will not come, you are too conscious. Now the next morning you will be even more conscious.

So with your body the teacher has to work many things which he cannot tell you about.

Even a touch will be doing something. Even a hand on your head will be doing something. In the old world, with ancient people, it was very easy. They were not so body conscious. With time consciousness there is a corresponding corollary of body consciousness. I say it is death consciousness. Really, the more you are death conscious, the more you will be body conscious.

Today everyone has become so body conscious that you cannot touch him without his becoming self-conscious. The moment he becomes self-conscious, the touch, the inner meaning of it, the inner working of is, has stopped. We have become so touchy, everyone is constantly aware that no one should touch. You are standing in a crowd: everyone is touching, but somewhere inside you are trying all the time not to be touched. Things have become difficult in this way, unnecessarily difficult.

In so many ways, I have to create devices in which your body can be changed. In my meditation method, I have added a cathartic part only to change your body center. No old meditation has this part added, because that part can be done only by the teacher. His touching, just a single touch on any center, could have so much catharsis. But now that is very difficult.

For example, the Zen teacher will have a staff in his hand. He will beat with his staff. No Westerner could understand what is the meaning of it -- not even these who are sympathetic. And then, a Zen teacher will not tell what is meant by it. It is not just a beating, it is hammering on a particular center. It is not a beating at all. But it has to be hidden. He is beating on your backbone, on a particular part. And if he says to you, "I am touching on this center to help your body to work in a particular way," you will become self-conscious. He will not say that. He will say, "I feel that you are sleepy, so I beat you." Whenever you will feel sleepy, he will come and beat you, and this beating is a hidden trick to camouflage the whole affair. You will think, "He is beating me." You will not become aware of the center he has hammered. Now that too cannot be used.

Asanas are used to change your inner current. Mudras were used, but they all have to be practised a long time. No one can practise so long now. And they have to be practised in a very isolated atmosphere, not in the marketplace, because when you practise particular asanas and mudras, the particular centers become so sensitive that you must remain isolated. Otherwise you will get many unnecessary disturbing influences inside -- because your centers are open.

So the teacher has much to do with your body in so many methods. It is always up to him to devise new methods, because old methods become useless. This is because the more you know, the more you become self-conscious. So new methods are to be used, and only the enlightened ones can use new methods. All those who are initiating and are not enlightened themselves, will have to rely on old methods, because they cannot devise the new. they do not even know what is meant by the old. They know only the outer gestures.

So they will continue to use hatha yoga, pranayam; they will continue. With every new enlightened person, this world gets new devices. Otherwise it cannot get new devices, and each new age needs new devices because the mind has changed.

So the teacher has to do much with your body; that is the beginning. And the difficult part of it is that you must no be aware of it. That is why it is meaningful to live with a teacher, to live in an ashram, to sleep with a teacher -- because then your body is more vulnerable for his work, without your knowing. Teachers have even used intoxicants to make you unconscious, to work with your body. Anesthetics are not only used by surgeons.

Teachers have also used them in their own way. When you are completely unaware, then they can work. And the work which cannot be done in a year ordinarily can be done in a moment, because then the exact point can be touched, turned, changed. The whole current can be made different.

Then things become even more difficult, because the energy that is to be used lies in the sex center. It becomes even more difficult. That too is a part of the whole complex. I am talking about time consciousness, death consciousness, sex consciousness, these are all parts. The more you become death conscious, the more you feel sexual -- because sex is the antidote. Sex is the beginning of life, and death is the end. If you are more conscious of death, you will become more conscious of sex. Only a society which is not conscious of death will be unconscious of sex. It does not mean that it will not be sexual, but it will be unconscious of it. It will be just a natural thing.

You can go to a primitive society and touch the breast of a woman and ask her what it is.

She will just reply in an automatic way; no reference to any morality, no reference to any body consciousness, no reference to sex. She will say that this is to give the milk to the child.

The energy lies in the sex center. And we have become so conscious of the sex center, we guard it so continuously and we have become so tense, it goes on being more and more difficult to help. I have created many new devices, and I have to talk about very different things from so many dimensions. For example, I have talked so much about moving from sex to superconsciousness only to relax you. If you can become relaxed at your sex center, if there is no tension, then the energy can be released upwards.

The first thing for the initiator is to help your body change. It has to be changed, because a new phenomenon is going to happen to your body. It has to be prepared for the new explosion which is going to come, which is going to descend, for the new energy which will soon be your guest. So you have to be made a host. The whole arrangement has to be changed.

This arrangement, as we exist ordinarily, will not do. This is a biological arrangement.

This structure of the body, this pattern of the body, is biological. It is used only as a sex vehicle. The whole process is just to continue it. Nothing more is expected from your body as far as nature is concerned, so it is arranged in that way. Now you want not only to continue the race, you want to change the whole biological process and to create a new dimension that is absolutely non-biological, spiritual. The whole structure of the body will have to be changed.

So the teacher has to work more with your body, then much with your emotions, and now even much with your intellect. This is the conscious, exoteric part. The teacher is going to do something to the outer parts in initiation. But there is the inner part, the esoteric. That is being worked on by telepathic messages, through your dreams, through visions, through secret communications. Your intellect can be pacified directly. It can be talked to and pacified directly, but not your emotions, here one has to work indirectly. One has to create milieus through which your emotions are changed, transformed.

But that too is outer. Your emotions, your intellect, your body, these are the outer self of your body. You reside within, your being is deeper inside. That being is also to be transformed. That is being done through telepathic, through esoteric, secret paths. Your dreams can be used, they are used. It happens ordinarily that you may not be aware of your dreams, but your teacher is. And he is more interested in your dreams than your waking state. Your so-called waking consciousness is false. It is not real, you are not expressed in it; you only act. Your dreams are more real.

Freud just used analysis of dreams because of some alchemical tradition which became known to him. Something from some esoteric circle leaked. He used it and created a whole science. Of course, he could not know your dreams directly; he had to make you confess, show your dream, remember your dream, talk about your dream. Then he could analyze it. But in initiation the teacher knows your dreams. He can go into your dreams, he can be a witness to your dreams. And then he knows more secret things about you then you yourself are aware.

Edgar Cayce could go into an auto-hypnotic coma in which you tell him something about your dream. There are your missing links. He could go into the dream in his unconscious state. He could see the whole picture of your dream. Then he would tell you that these are the missing links, this is your full dream. And you will be surprised that no one remembers his full dream in the morning -- it is impossible.

The moment the conscious mind takes charge it distorts the whole thing, because the message is from the unconscious. It is against the conscious, it distorts, it interprets. It causes something to be missing, something to be added, and the whole thing becomes just nonsense. You say this is just a dream -- meaningless. No dream is meaningless; dreams have a deeper meaning than your waking moments.

So the teacher has to work with your dreams. And unless he works with your dreams, he cannot work for your awakening, because the dream-creating source inside you is the whole thing. It has to be destroyed, it has to be uprooted from your consciousness. The complete mechanism of dreaming has to be broken, completely uprooted. When it is uprooted completely, first you will feel that you have lost dreaming, then you will feel that you have lost sleep. You will sleep, but something will remain aware. The body will be refreshed in the morning, but you will know that you have remained conscious. If dreaming is lost, sleep will be lost.

You may be surprised that the dreaming is a constant help to sleep. You cannot sleep without dreaming. Dreaming helps to continue your sleep. For example, you are feeling hungry in sleep, then the sleep will be broken. The body will break it, "Go and take something!" You are feeling thirsty; the body will say, "Go and drink something." But the dream structure will help completely; it will say, "Okay." The dream structure will create a dream. You are drinking water in the dream, then there is no need to break the sleep.

You have taken something which was needed. The dream has substituted, and now you can continue sleeping.

Your alarm clock is ringing, it is five o'clock and you have to rise. The dream structure will create a dream. You are in a temple, and a bell is ringing. The alarm ringing outside has been transferred and made a part of the dream. Now the bell is ringing in the temple, now there is no need to rise, you can continue sleeping.

The dream is a help for continuing sleep; otherwise you cannot sleep. The sleep will be broken so many times, because there are so many happenings outside that the body cannot tolerate. Even a single mosquito will disturb your sleep, but the dream can help there also. It may create a dream, and the music of the mosquito will become a music in the dream. Then you continue to sleep and dream.

So the whole structure of dreaming consciousness has to be uprooted, and the teacher has to work for it. And when he destroys the whole mechanism of dreaming, then only the inner doors are open and he can communicate directly. Now there is no need of language, no need of words. He can communicate directly. And when there is direct communication without words, only the truth can be revealed to you, otherwise not. So the most esoteric part is with your dreaming consciousness -- to change it.

Something may leak out, and there has been such a phenomenon so many times. There are even sciences based on a single leak, a single point that has come from the esoteric world. You can create a science on it. It is going to be faulty, always imperfect. Freud's analysis can never be perfect because he does not know the whole thing. He has come upon, he has stumbled somewhere, on a single point. He has worked it out completely, but the point itself is a part. The whole is not known.

When dreaming consciousness has been washed away, then the real esoteric work begins.

The teacher can take your hand in his hand and lead you anywhere -- to any reality, to any depth of this universe. But that cannot be talked about, that cannot be discussed.

Teachers have lead their pupils to heaven, hell, to every nook and corner of the universe, to every planet, to higher realms. But that can only happen when your dreaming consciousness is gone completely. You cannot project anything, you have just to become a screen. Then this world will be different for you because then you will be different.

This world will remain the same, but you will not be projecting anything.

And there still are many things for which, if you are interested, you will have to go in.

You cannot be informed about these things. They can be made known to you. I can help you, I can work with you, I can push you into an inner dimension. But I cannot inform you. Even all I am informing you of is more than ever allowed. But I can inform you about many things which were never allowed because I always drop some key points.

You cannot work them up.

Something is always missing -- not to me, but to you. It is always missing unless the phenomenon happens to you. Then everything will be complete, it will be linked. So I talk about many links. There are always some missing links which will be fulfilled only by your efforts. I talk about these unlinked links so that you may be persuaded to work hard. The more you work hard, the more missing links I will talk about. But the chief link will never be talked about. It can only be experienced. But I am ready to help you to experience it, and the nature of things is such that it can only be experienced.

Do your part, and remember that you are capable of doing your part. Whenever you are able to surrender, the teacher will come. The teacher is there. Teachers have always been in existence. The world has never lacked teachers, it has always lacked disciples. But no teacher can begin anything unless someone surrenders. So whenever you have a moment to surrender, do not lose it. Even if you do not find anyone to whom to surrender, then just surrender to existence. But whenever there is a moment to surrender, do not lose it, because then you are on the borderline where you are in between sleep and waking. Just surrender!

If you can find someone, that is good. If you cannot find anyone, just surrender to the universe. And the teacher will appear, he will come. He rushes whenever there is surrender. You become vacant, you become empty; spiritually, you become empty. Then the spiritual force rushes toward you and fills you. So always remember that whenever you feel like surrendering, do not lose the moment. It may not come again or it may come after centuries and lives have been unnecessarily wasted. Whenever the moment comes, just surrender.

But the mind has a trick. If you are angry, you will be angry that very moment. But if you feel like surrendering. you will think about it, you will plan about it, you will wait. And with the mind, it is always only in a moment when it is on the boundary. So just surrender to the divine, to anything, even to a tree, because the real thing is not to whom you surrender -- the real thing is surrendering. Surrender to a tree, and the tree will become a teacher to you. Many things will be revealed to you from the tree which no scripture can reveal to you.

Surrender to a stone, and the stone will become a god. And the stone will reveal things which no god can reveal to you. The real thing is surrendering. Whenever there is surrendering, one always appears who becomes responsible for you. This is what is meant by initiation.

I Am the Gate

Chapter #8

Chapter title: I am the gate

14 June 1971 pm in Bombay, India

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GATE08

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Question 1

BELOVED MASTER,

THEOSOPHISTS HAVE TALKED ABOUT DIFFERENT GROUPS OF MASTERS

EXISTING PHYSICALLY OR EVEN NON-PHYSICALLY. HOW MANY OF THESE

GROUPS EXIST TODAY? WHAT ARE THESE ESOTERIC GROUPS, AND HOW

DO THEY INFLUENCE SEEKERS AND THE WORLD'S ACTIVITY? PLEASE

TELL US ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH THESE ESOTERIC GROUPS OF

MASTERS.

Spiritual knowledge has many difficulties in order to exist. The first difficulty is that it cannot be expressed adequately. So even when someone comes to know, he is not able to express it exactly. What has been known cannot be transferred easily. Someone knows something, there are seekers who want to know, but the knowledge cannot be communicated. Just because you want to know it and just because someone is capable of telling you does not mean that communication is possible. The very nature of spiritual knowledge is such that the moment you try to express it, you feel that it cannot be expressed. So to express it and communicate it, esoteric groups are needed.

An esoteric group is a group specially trained to receive a particular system of knowledge. We may take an analogy: Einstein made reference many times to the fact that there existed not more than half a dozen people in the world with whom he could communicate. He was talking about mathematical knowledge, not about spiritual knowledge. But it was a fact, not even half a dozen persons really existed with whom Einstein could talk easily, because in mathematics Einstein reached such peaks that he could not communicate in ordinary mathematical symbols.

Even if Einstein tries to convey his knowledge, you will hear it but not understand it, because just hearing is not understanding. And when you do not understand it, there is every possibility you will misunderstand it, because from understanding to non-understanding there is an in between phenomenon of misunderstanding. No one is ready to accept that he has not understood. When there is no understanding, it does not mean non-understanding. In ninety-nine cases out of a hundred, it means misunderstanding, because no one is ready to say that he has not understood. Everyone will say that he understands it, and then misunderstanding follows.

Mathematics is not an esoteric knowledge and is not concerned with the inexpressible.

Mathematics has existed continuously for five thousand years. Thousands and thousands of minds are trained in mathematics. Every university all over the world teaches it, every primary school teaches it. With so much training, so much knowledge, so many departments in so many universities teaching it, Einstein still says, "Only six persons exist to whom I can communicate what I know." If you understand this, then you can understand the difficulty of communicating spiritual experiences.

An esoteric group also means a group which is specially trained for a particular teacher.

Because the phenomenon is rare, a buddha happens only after thousands of years. And if there is a happening like Buddha, how will he be able to communicate? Buddha will be there, the world will be there, but with no meaning. Buddha cannot communicate directly, so an esoteric group, an inner group, is trained. The training is completely so that this group can act as a mediator between Buddha and the world. A special group is specially trained to understand Buddha and then to interpret Buddha to the world, because between a buddha and the world there is such a gap that a buddha will not be understood at all.

It will be meaningful to refer here to Jesus. Jesus suffered because there was no esoteric group. Buddha did not suffer because here was an esoteric group. Jesus had to be crucified because the gap was such that the common people could not understand him.

They misunderstood him. It had to happen, because there was not a group between Jesus and the common masses. There was no mediator between the two, so Jesus suffered. In India, neither Buddha suffered nor Mahavira suffered; no one was crucified. They were as capable as Jesus, but Jesus had to be crucified because no esoteric group existed.

Misunderstanding was inevitable. Whatsoever Jesus would say was misunderstood.

Of course, Jesus had a following, but a following of the common people. All his chief disciples came from the common masses, without any esoteric training. Luke and Thomas were peasants from the common and uneducated part of the society. They loved Jesus, they felt him, but they also could not understand him, so there were so many instances in which they asked very childish questions. For example, some disciple asks Jesus, "In the kingdom of God, what will be our position? You will be by the side of the divine soul. Where will we stand? What will be the position?" They could not understand what he meant by the kingdom of God. They were common people.

This esoteric group cannot be created suddenly. Buddha happens suddenly, but this group cannot be created suddenly. So countries which have been spiritual for thousands of years have esoteric groups as a continuity, as a tradition. And whenever there is this kind of happening, the group begins to work.

Ashoka created a group which is still existing -- a group of nine persons. Whenever a person dies, another replaces him, so the group still continues. Whenever one dies, the eight remaining ones will choose one to replace him. He will be trained by the eight, so the training continues. Persons change, but the group remains, and still today the group is there, because a reincarnation of Buddha is awaited. He can come at any time. And when Buddha is there, you cannot suddenly create the group, because this group of esoteric adepts is created through a long training and discipline. This is not a sudden happening.

So many times groups have been started. Sometimes they continue and then wither away.

Sometimes they go on and then are no more, because so many difficulties are there.

Many difficulties are there! This group of Ashoka's nine esoteric ones still continues because there are many conditions which help it to. One is it never comes directly in contact with the masses itself. It has still other groups is between. It always remains unknown, hidden. You can never know its whereabouts. And any person who is initiated in the group, the very moment he is initiated he disappears from your world -- completely disappears. Then you can never know anything about him, the group can continue anonymously.

This group has many keys and many methods. Through those keys and methods, it goes on working in many ways. This is a group whose members are in the physical body, they are as alive as we are. Once someone has become a member of the group, he cannot be chosen again in another life. Then he will work as a link between the group and the masses. This creates another circle around the nine, a greater circle, because so many persons have been members of it. They know Buddha directly, they know the esoteric adepts directly. They are so experienced that they can remain in the masses and can continue the work with the group. But they will not be its members. When someone of this group is not born on this earth, when he is without a physical body, if he remains in a non-body existence, he still continues to work.

There are so many adepts who are not in this physical body who go on working.

Theosophists call them masters -- such as Master Koot Humi. These are fictitious names, but they refer to a particular personality, an individuality. They are fictitious names, but they refer to a particular unembodied soul which is helping.

This Master K.-H., one of the most ancient adepts of Ashoka's circle of nine, created the whole movement of theosophy. They were trying to create a situation in which Buddha's coming incarnation could be possible, because Buddha had said that after twenty-five centuries he would again be born and his name would be Maitreya. And an enlightened person like Gautam Buddha is capable of knowing about who is going to be enlightened twenty-five centuries later. So Buddha predicted, and for this happening Ashoka's circle of nine has been working for centuries. Now the time is near, so the theosophy movement was just a preparation.

It failed, the experiment failed. They experimented with three or four people to be made vehicles for Maitreya to descend, but the experiment failed. Something or other missed.

Sometimes the thing was just on the brim of success, and something happened.

Krishnamurti was ready, completely ready, to be made a vehicle. Everything was ready.

He came on the pulpit to surrender himself and to become so empty that Maitreya could come in. But at the last moment he denied surrender. No one around him could think that this was going to happen. Not even a hint was given that Krishnamurti, in the last step, would fail and come back. And that is why, after that phenomenon, after that happening of coming back, for his whole life, continuously for forty years, he has been emphasizing individuality, "Be an individual!"

This has a meaning. The whole preparation was to lose one's individuality, otherwise one cannot become a vehicle: "Be as if you are not! Surrender totally to forces beyond you."

He denied surrender just on the brink of jumping. Everything was ready. One step and Maitreya would have been in the world.

But the last step could not be taken. He came back. He said, "I am myself." That is why his whole philosophy became, "Do not surrender, do not follow, do not believe, do not be a disciple." The whole thing is just an outcome; it is just rationalization and consolation.

He has been working for forty years continuously out of that step that could not be taken.

Still he is not out of it. The repentance is there, the would is there. He could not surrender at the last moment. So theosophy failed with Krishnamurti and became a dead movement, because the movement existed only for the materialization of this happening. It became meaningless. The house had been built, but the master never came to reside in it. So after Krishnamurti's denial to be a vehicle for Maitreya, theosophy became meaningless. It still continues, just like a hangover, but nothing substantial exists now.

This whole movement was created by the nine adepts of Ashoka. They are still working.

In so many ways, they go on working. And there is a history behind our so-called history of which you will not even be able to conceive. History has a deeper base. The periphery which we know as history is not of real events. Behind out so-called history continues another, a deeper one, about which we know nothing.

For example, we all have heard about Hitler, his fascism, his whole movement, his desperate efforts to do something. But no one knows that there is something behind which is hidden. Hitler was just a vehicle for other forces. Now there are glimpses that he was not the real actor in the drama. He was just a means, he was used. Someone else was behind him, some other forces were working. For example, the choice of the swastika, the symbol of Adolf Hitler's party -- this is the oldest, the most ancient symbol of a particular school of adepts.

In India, one of the most ancient groups is that of the Jains. The swastika is their symbol, but not exactly as it was with Hitler. Hitler's swastika design was in reverse. The Jain's swastika is clockwise; Hitler's is anticlockwise. This anticlockwise swastika is a destructive symbol. They searched for three years continuously to choose a symbol, because a symbol is not just a symbol. If you can take a symbol from a deeper tradition, then the symbol becomes a link. So persons were sent to Tibet to discover one of the most ancient symbols of the Aryan race, because with that symbol much that is hidden can be contacted.

The swastika was chosen, but in reverse. And the person who found the symbol, Hessenhoff, convinced Adolf Hitler that the symbol should be in reverse order. He was one of the persons who was in contact with many esoteric groups, but he was confused.

He was searching for two things: firstly, for a symbol which was very ancient; secondly, for a symbol which could also be made new. Because of this, the swastika was chosen and was made in reverse order. It had never existed in this way before, but due to this, events took altogether a new shape.

And with this reverse symbol it was known all over the world to those who were in contact with any esoteric knowledge that Hitler was going to destroy himself. He was going to become mad; he would be in contact with suicidal forces.

The entire concept of Hitler's philosophy was given by some hidden schools. They used him just as Krishnamurti was going to be used by the theosophists and the hidden groups.

Hitler continued winning up to a certain extent, up to a certain moment. He was just winning: there was no defeat. The thing was phenomenal, he could just win anything, it looked as if he was undefeatable. But beyond a certain time, everything begins to go in reverse. Why did this happen?

Forces which were against Nazism defeated Hitler, but that is not the real history. That was just an outward phenomenon. Hitler was used by an esoteric group. This was one of the most desperate efforts, because this esoteric group was working for centuries but could not help humanity as they desired to help. This was a desperate effort to help humanity before humanity destroys itself on this earth. So they had tried through saints, through persons who were powerless, who were poor in spirit. They tried through Adolf Hitler to win the whole world before it is destroyed and to give a certain teaching to humanity.

But just like Krishnamurti became independent at the last moment, Hitler also became independent. He began to go down. This is the miracle of war history. It had never happened before. Hitler would not take the advice of any general. He would move or attack, but no advice would be taken from any general. And even against the advice of all his trained persons, he would act and move as he liked, and still he would win. There were absurd moves, nonsensical moves. No one who knows anything about war would have taken those moves. But Hitler would take them and he won for three years.

Everyone who was around him knew that he was just a vehicle of some greater force.

This was not explainable. And whenever he would order, he would not be in his conscious mind. This is a new fact which has become known now. Whenever he would order, he would just be ecstatic. His eyes would be closed, he would begin to tremble, he would perspire, and then his voice would change completely. Another voice would order.

But the day he began to fall, his own voice began to order. From that point, from that moment, he was never in ecstasy. Some contact which was working was lost.

Now those who study Adolf Hitler and his life all feel that the phenomenon was not merely political. The person himself was not just a political maniac, not just a mad politician, because whatsoever he did was absolutely nonpolitical -- his whole approach.

And those who had remained with him felt that he was a split personality. In his ordinary moments, he was so ordinary that you could not conceive of it. There was no magic; he was just ordinary. But when he was taken over, possessed, he was quite an altogether different personality.

Who was behind this? Some esoteric group was behind this, and that esoteric group was trying something. When Hitler became independent, he lost every power. In his last days, he was just ordinary. After this particular moment, when he lost contact, whatsoever he did went against him. Before this, whatsoever he did was always in his favor.

The same group I have been talking to you about, the nine of Ashoka, was behind it.

They were trying to capture the whole world. With man, it is always a possibility that if you begin to work with some force from behind, you yourself are not aware of it. If you succeed, then you are not aware that someone else is succeeding. You succeeded, your ego is strengthened. And there comes a moment when your ego is so strengthened that you will not listen to any force. This has happened so many times.

This esoteric group, as I said to you, functions primarily as a continuity whenever there is any need. In many ways, they can help. It was not just a coincidence that Japan became friendly to Germany. It was because of this group of nine people. This is the hidden fact.

The esoteric group that was working behind Hitler was a Buddhist group, so a Buddhist country, Japan, could be influenced to side with Hitler. And the whole East felt exhilarated when Hitler was winning. The whole East was with Hitler inwardly. The group that was working behind him was an Eastern group.

Nothing happens accidentally, everything has a causal link behind it. Whenever a teacher like Buddha happens, the primary work of an esoteric group is to help by becoming a mediator. Another work of these esoteric groups is to preserve the knowledge once it is obtained. Buddha obtained something supreme, but who will preserve it? Preserving in books is no preservation, because the knowledge is so living and books are so dead. Only words can be preserved, not knowledge. Knowledge can be preserved only by living persons, not by books, because books will have to be interpreted again, and who will interpret them? They will have to be decoded again, and who will decode them? And if someone is able to decode them, to interpret them rightly, then that person can give you the message without the books. And those who depend on books will not be able to interpret it rightly.

You cannot read any book which you have not known in some way. You only can read

"yourself" and nothing else. So if you are reading Buddha's Dhammapada, it is not Buddha's Dhammapada you are reading, it is your Dhammapada. Now you will be a creator. Now your depth will become the depth of Buddha's sayings. You cannot go beyond yourself; you cannot have any glimpse beyond yourself.

So whenever knowledge is attained -- subtle, foundational, ultimate -- it cannot be preserved in books. Only ordinary knowledge can be preserved in books, which cannot be misinterpreted, in which any ordinary school training can train you. If you know the language, you can know it, but supreme knowledge cannot be preserved in that way. It can be preserved only in living persons, hence, esoteric groups. Then it is being transferred from one living person to another. And the transfer is not just like mechanical transfer. It is not mechanical, it cannot be. It is just like an art.

I will tell you a story,... a very esoteric one....

There is a Buddhist story of a master thief. He was so efficient, such a master, that he could not be caught. And whenever he broke into a house, he would leave behind something which would show that the master thief had entered. His art became so famous that if he came to one house, then others would be jealous, because the master thief only goes to the house of someone who is worthy of his skills.

Even the emperor of the country wanted to meet him. Everything would be declared: whenever he was to rob someone, there would be a rumor. The person would be notified somehow that the master thief is coming soon: "You make any arrangements you would like to make, and then, on the particular day, the particular moment, there will be a robbery" -- and the thief would never be caught.

Then he became old and his son asked his father, "Now you are old, and I do not know even the ABC's of your art. So let me be trained."

The father said, "It is very difficult. It is not a science, it is not a technical know-how. I cannot tell you unless you are a born thief, then only is it possible. It is so artistic, it is a creative art. I have lived it. This has not been an evil to me, but my spirit. So we will see."

One night he asked his son to follow him. They went to a palace. He broke the wall. His is about sixty-five or seventy, but there is no trembling in his hands. And the son is young, strong but he perspires. The night is cold; he is trembling.

His father said, "Why are you trembling? Just be a witness. I am the thief; you be a witness. Why are you trembling?"

But the more he tries not to tremble, the more he trembles. And his father is working just as if he is in his own house.

Then they went in. He opened a lock and asked his son to go in. He went in, and the father locked the door behind him. The father then made such noises that the whole house was awakened. Then he ran away, and the son was locked in. The whole house was searching for the thief. You can understand what was happening to that boy.

The father went to his house. The night was cold. He just went to his bed and relaxed.

After two hours, the son came running. He pulled at his father's blanket and said, "You nearly killed me. Is this the way to train me?"

The father looked at him and said, "Okay, you are back. Good! Then do not tell me the story, it is irrelevant. Do not go into the details. You are back; that is good. The art has been transferred. Do not tell me how you came here. It is enough that you are back. The art has been transferred."

The son is uneasy about talking but says, "Let me tell you first that you nearly killed me.

How cruel you are to your only son!"

The father said, "Tell me what happened, not what you did. What happened after I locked the door?"

The son said, "I just became another person. Death was so near! I never before felt such energy as that which came to me. Everything was at stake -- life or death. I became so acutely aware. I was never so aware, I just became awareness, because each moment was precious. This way or that, everything was to be finished. Then some maid passed through my door with a candle in her hand -- and you asked rightly, `WHAT happened?'

because I cannot say that I did it. Somehow I made noises as if some cat was inside. So she unlocked and opened the door, and with her candle looked in. I cannot say I did anything. It happened.

"I just blew out her candle, pushed her and ran. I just began to run with such a force that I cannot say I was running. The running happened -- I was not. I was completely not.

There was just a force moving. They followed me, and I passed a deep well. It happened.

I cannot say that I did it, but I took a stone and threw it in the well. They all surrounded the well, they thought that the thief had fallen in. So I am here now."

But the father was fast asleep. He had not even heard the story. In the morning, he said,

"Details are irrelevant. Art cannot be told, only shown with living examples, with constant communion."

The supreme knowledge can be transferred and preserved. And sometimes these esoteric groups have preserved knowledge for centuries for a particular person who was being awaited, so that this knowledge could be transferred to him.

For example, Mahavira had fifty thousand monks. All could not be enlightened in his time, so many remained somewhere on the path. Mahavira was not to be again in this world, so those who are somewhere on this path must be supplied further knowledge.

Who will supply it? Mahavira will not be here.

Scriptures cannot be relied upon because they are absurd. Some persons will have to interpret them, but they cannot interpret beyond their understanding, so this is meaningless. There must be a group which preserves keys that can be handed to persons in a particular state of mind; otherwise they will be lost or they will have to struggle unnecessarily, meaninglessly, or they will have to change teachers.

Whenever someone changes a teacher, he has to begin anew, because nothing of the old system can be used in the new. Nothing of this path can be used on that path -- every path has its own organic unity. So that which is meaningful in Mohammed's path is not meaningful in Mahavira's path, that which is meaningful in Buddha's path is not meaningful in Jesus' path. So if someone comes from the Buddhist path to Jesus' path, he will have to begin anew. All the efforts to past lives will be thrown. That is not good; that is a sheer waste.

So when the teacher is not, these esoteric groups preserve knowledge, and that knowledge begins to work as a teacher. But that knowledge can only be preserved by living persons. Of these nine persons of Ashoka's circle, each one is adept in a particular key. Individually, they do not have all the keys. Each one is a specialist in a particular key. And the group was formerly of nine persons because Buddha had talked about nine doors, nine keys, nine kinds of knowledge.

So each person is an adept only in one key. He knows only about one door. Those who want to enter from that door, they can be helped by him. Buddha can know about nine.

But these nine cannot each know about all nine, to know one key of one door is enough.

You need not enter from nine doors. One door will do; you will be in.

These nine adepts have one key each. Each one knows everything about one door, one meditative path. And whenever a meed is there, that one will help. The help may be direct, the help may be indirect, but he will help you. Whenever a new buddha is coming or a new enlightened one is coming, this group will prepare the ground. They will prepare people to listen to him, understand him. If there is no such ground, then every teacher will be crucified -- crucified because there will be no group to help make the people understand him.

There are other works also with esoteric groups. Sometimes it happens that humanity forgets that which it had previously known. Somewhere, THE BOOK OF THE DEAD, the Egyptian book, says, "Ignorance is nothing but forgetfulness." Something which was known has been forgotten. Nothing is new, just something has been forgotten. When you come to know it again, it appears new. Many keys are lost, many times -- sometimes because there are no esoteric groups to preserve them.

Sometimes the group is there, but nobody is ready to be initiated in the knowledge. Then the esoteric group cannot do anything other than preserve. Sometimes preservation also becomes impossible, because this is not so easy. If one person dies out of a group of nine, it is not easy to replace him, because the replacement is not by any election. It is not democratic. Knowledge cannot depend on democracy, only ignorance can.

Knowledge is always autocratic -- always. You cannot decide by election who will be the head of the atomic commission. And when you decide that way, then you decide for your suicide.

Knowledge is always autocratic. It is never from below, it is always from above. See this distinction clearly. And anything that comes from below is bound to be ignorance. So politics is ignorance par excellence. It comes from below. The one who is the lowest chooses the one who is the highest. And what is meant by the highest? The lowest decides the highest, so the highest must be lower than the lowest. So in a democracy, leaders are nothing but followers of their followers, and knowledge cannot depend on this. Knowledge is always given from above and is, therefore, autocratic.

Esoteric groups maintain keys, preserve knowledge. But the moment someone becomes capable of being given a particular system of knowledge, a particular secret, then that key is delivered. Until someone is ready, the group has to wait; it has to wait for centuries even. And it is very difficult to replace one person from them. It cannot be decided by the others. The eight have to find a person who is capable, and even a capable person has to be trained before he enters the group. Sometimes the group works on a person for many lives, and then the person becomes capable of replacing a member. And if no one is found, that key is lost, and that key cannot be found again by this esoteric group. It can be found again only when a person like Buddha happens. The esoteric group can only preserve, communicate. It cannot discover, discovery is not within their capacity.

So many keys are lost. Many groups have worked, and many are still working. The Rosicrucians have been a parallel group in the West. It has worked for centuries. Really, it is not a Christian group, it is more ancient than the Christians. Rosicrucians are of the esoteric group of the Rosy Cross. The cross is not just the Christian symbol, but older than Christ.

Christ himself was initiated by an esoteric group known as Essenes. All the Christians holy days -- for example, Easter or December 25 -- are older than Christ. Christianity only absorbed the old tradition. Jesus himself belonged to an esoteric group that conveyed to him many things which he tried to convey to the masses.

For Jesus also they also tried to prepare a ground, but it could not be made ready. It could not function well. But we all know that John the Baptist came before Jesus. At the River Jordan, he continued for thirty to forty years just with one teaching: that "I am the forerunner. The real one is still to come. I have come just to prepare the ground, and when he comes, I will disappear."

He baptized people in the Jordan River, remaining on the bank for forty years. He was just baptizing everyone, and initiating everyone for the real one who was to follow.

Everyone was asking, "Who is to come?" The whole country was provoked about "the one who is to come." The name was not known even to John the Baptist. He had to wait also. He belonged to the Essenes. Christ had been one of the important initiated members of the Essenes group in his past life. Then Jesus came to be baptized by John the Baptist, and the day Jesus was baptized, John the Baptist disappeared forever. He baptized Jesus in the Jordan River and shortly after was never seen again.

This happening became news for the country, that the new real one had come, because for forty years continuously he was saying, "When the real one comes I will baptize him as the last one, and then I will just disappear." John the Baptist disappeared. Baptism is pre-Christian. Before Christ baptism was there, then Christianity began.

John the Baptist belonged to one esoteric group -- the Essenes. There are so many groups, but always the difficulty comes that someone is no longer there, and no one can replace him. Then there is a missing link. In every teaching that missing link appears, and when a missing link appears you cannot be helped by the group because those gaps cannot be filled. There are gaps in Christianity now, many gaps. There are gaps in every teaching. If one part is lost, then it cannot be replaced unless a person like Jesus happens again. That is not predictable, that cannot be arranged, that cannot be planned. But a group of initiated seekers can be planned and created, who can be used whenever there is someone who is capable of using them.

These esoteric groups are not concerned with this earth alone. Now even scientists agree that at least fifty thousand planets other that this earth must have life. More is possible, but less is not possible. In such a great universe, by the ordinary laws of probability, at least fifty thousand planets must have life. The esoteric group has another task to do, to link the knowledge of one planet to that of another. That is a little more difficult, because we have not known everything. We may be missing something which was known. We may be knowing something partially. On another planet, there may be a greater knowledge; on another planet, there may now be another Buddha. The esoteric group works as an inner link between different systems of knowledge that exist anywhere in the universe. So missing links can be supplied from other planets also. Really, it always happens so.

Whenever something is missing and we cannot call upon a person on this earth to appear and discover it, then the knowledge can be supplied from another planet, if it exists somewhere, and it always exists somewhere. The esoteric group can be in contact with everything that exists in the whole universe. This work is as valuable as someone from a university going to a primitive village. The primitive village does not know anything, the university man knows. This man can train the primitive to receive the knowledge. Then he can deliver it, and he can always be in contact with his source of knowledge. This is just an analogy.

Many times this planet has been visited by other planetary beings. They have left so many landmarks. Sometimes they have left many keys of knowledge on this planet with some group. Those groups have been at work. Esoteric groups are interplanetary, but there is something missing, so it cannot be understood by description.

Each age has to devise its own methods, no old method can be helpful to you. You have changed, your mind has changed. The key fit the old lock but the lock has changed.

Esoteric groups can only be the preservers of keys, not of locks, because locks are with you. You understand it? Locks are with you -- not with Buddha, not with Jesus. They have keys. They devise keys, keys that open many locks. These keys can be preserved by esoteric groups, but in the meantime the locks are changing.

You are not the same lock which Buddha opened. The same key exactly as it is will not do. If the same key can do as it is, then any ignorant person can use it. Then no wisdom is needed, anybody can use it. I can just give you the key, and you go and open the lock; you need no wisdom. This much is enough: that this is the key and that is the lock. But as the locks are changing constantly, the keys must be given to a group who is wise -- to devise new keys that are always in tune with the locks.

The locks will go on changing. They will never be the same. So not only are dead keys to be preserved, but also the science for changing these keys whenever there is any change in the lock. That is preserved in esoteric groups. You cannot preserve it in books because the locks are not known. They will change, they will go on changing. No book can write about all these possibilities of locks, about all the combinations of locks. They will go on changing. The condition changes, education changes, culture changes, everything changes, so the locks become different. Howsoever the key is preserved, it will always be faulty in a way. It will not suit the lock. So the key must be handed over to a living group of wise ones who can always change the key also. That is the difference between esoteric knowledge and exoteric tradition.

Exoteric tradition always carried the key without any reference to the lock. It continues to talk about the old key; it never notices that no lock is being opened by it. But the exoteric tradition consists of ordinary people such as members of the Christian church. The church carries the key. They know that this is the key which opened many doors in Jesus' time.

Their knowledge is right; their information is correct; of course this key has opened many locks. They carry the key, they worship the key, but now it opens no lock. They cannot devise other keys, they have no time to devise keys; they have only one key. They go on worshipping it, and if it cannot open a lock, then the lock is responsible. Then the lock must be faulty, then something is wrong with the lock, not with the key.

The exoteric tradition is always condemning the lock and worshipping the key. The esoteric group never condemns the lock, it always changes the key. The Vatican carries the key. They have the key, and they go on worshipping it. But Christianity also has inner esoteric groups. And this always happens -- that the esoteric group will be in conflict with the exoteric, because the exoteric will insist that this key must do. This key is not for you, you are for this key. You must behave in such a way that this key can open the lock. The key cannot be changed; you must change. But if someone says, "We can change the key,"

he becomes an infidel, he becomes a heretic. Then he must be killed because of the nonsense he is speaking: "He changed the key -- the key that Jesus gave us, Buddha gave us, Mahavira gave us. This key cannot be changed!"

So always, whenever there is a teacher, a real authentic teacher who discovers something, there are two currents from him: one becomes exoteric -- the visible church with the pope, the shankaracharya, the orthodox. They always insist on the same key. They never think that a key means nothing if it cannot open any lock. But then it is not a key at all: a key only means that which opens.

If it is not opening any lock, then it is just fallacious to call it a key. It is just a linguistic fallacy. It is not a key at all, it only becomes a key when a lock opens. When you are putting something in your pocket, it is not a key, it is only a possible key. When it opens the lock, it becomes the actual key. If it does not open any lock it even loses the possibility.

The visible churches are always obsessed with the key, because the key was given by an authentic teacher. But every authentic teacher also creates an inner circle. That inner circle has the key and the knowledge of how to change it in certain circumstances. This inner circle will always be in conflict with the outer, because the outer will think that you are inferior and are changing the key the master gave us: "Who are you? How can you change it?" For example, in Islam some Sufis had esoteric knowledge, but the Mohammedans killed them. Mansoor was killed because he was talking about many changes in the key.

The esoteric group is always interested in the lock, not obsessed with the key. The exoteric group is obsessed with the key, but not interested in the lock at all. If it opens, it is good; if it does not open, you are responsible. The key is never responsible.

The Mohammedans have many Sufi orders, inner circles, inner groups. Mohammedans thought that they had worked in a very rebellious way, so many Sufis were killed. Then, ultimately, they had to disappear, so now there are Sufis, but you cannot know them.

Someone may be just a sweeper; you will never even be able to detect that this man may be a Sufi. Unless someone introduces you, you will never be aware. He may be coming to your house daily, still you will never be aware that this is someone who has some key.

He may just be a shoemaker. He will continue shoemaking, and you may be thinking that those who are sitting there are just being trained in the art of shoemaking. There are some customers, but, in fact, there may be some disciples among them who are not just being trained in shoemaking. This shoemaking business is just a facade. Inside, something else is going on.

Sufis had to disappear completely because the outer tradition would not tolerate them.

They would just be killed, "because if these inner ones continue, then there is no future for the outward tradition; it becomes absolutely meaningless."

Only he is a teacher who has discovered himself, who has devised a key himself, who has known the source of knowledge himself, who has encountered the reality himself. Then always there are two schools. Sometimes some teachers never allowed any exoteric groups. In Buddha's time, there were seven other teachers of the same rank as Buddha.

You may not even have heard their names. Only one name is known -- Mahavira. The other six are completely unknown. They also had keys -- knowledge, as much as Buddha and Mahavira -- but they never allowed any exoteric group to be formed around them.

Only the inner circle continued in some way, somewhere.

One man was Prabuddha Katyayan, another was Purna Kashyap, another Ajit Keshkambal, who were of the same level, of the same rank, of the same inner realization as Buddha and Mahavira. Their names are known only because Buddha has mentioned them, that is all. No scripture is found, no following, no temple, no church, but still they continue in a very hidden and subtle way. And no one can say they have not helped many; they have helped. They are not known to many, but they have helped as many as any buddha.

Buddha's name is known; the whole world knows about him. But the more we know about him, the less we can use him. He also has inner circles running. Only these are meaningful. But they always came in conflict with the outer religious order. And the outer order is always a force, because the masses are with it. There is always a conflict.

Buddha created a very chosen circle. He created his circle with a person by the name of Mahakashyapa. This name is only mentioned once. Sariputra and Modgalayan were his chief disciples of the exoteric order; their names are known all over the world, they have shrines. But the real authentic key was given to Mahakashyapa -- not to Sariputra, not to Modgalayan. But his name is mentioned only once, only once in the whole Buddhist scripture.

I will narrate the incident....

Buddha came one day with a flower in his hand. He was going to give a sermon. But no sermon was given, he just sat silently looking at the flower. Everyone wondered what he was doing. It continued for ten minutes, twenty, thirty minutes... Then everyone became uneasy. No one was able to say what he was doing. They all had gathered -- at least ten thousand people -- to hear him speak. And he was just sitting, only looking at the flower.

Mahakashyapa laughed. Buddha looked and said, "Mahakashyapa, come to me." He gave the flower to Mahakashyapa and said, "All that could be said I have said to all, and all that could not be said I have given to Mahakashyap." Never before or after is Mahakashyapa mentioned -- neither who he was nor where he was born.

Why is the whole scripture so silent about him? -- such an important person to whom Buddha says, "I gave to Mahakashyapa all that cannot be said." Of course, the essential this is "that which cannot be said." Only the nonessential can be said, only the superficial can be said, only the utilitarian can be said. The most significant transfer of knowledge is possible in silence only. But never again is his name mentioned, and then for centuries no one knew what happened to Mahakashyapa. But then after eleven hundred years, a person declared in China, "I am in direct contact, in the direct chain of Mahakashyapa."

After eleven hundred years, someone declared in China, "I belong to Mahakashyapa. I am his disciple." He was Bodhidharma. No Indian scripture mentions Bodhidharma. He was born in India, lived three fourths of his life in India. No one knows about him --

where he was or what he was doing. Suddenly, he appears in China and says, "I belong to Mahakashyap, the man to whom Buddha gave the flower. And I have the flower with me, still fresh."

Of course, he is talking about something which can never be other than fresh. Someone asks, "Where is that flower?" Bodhidharma says, "He is standing before you -- I am that flower. This flower Buddha transferred to Mahakashyapa, and I have come to seek the right person, because now I am going to die. This is my last birth, so I have traveled from India to China with certain information that someone is here to whom the flower can be delivered. So I have come seeking him. But the same source of information has informed me that I must not go to him, he must come to me. So I will just wait."

What does he mean by this "source of information"? Esoteric groups go on informing the persons who need to be informed. Bodhidharma said, "But the same source has informed me that I must not seek him," because sometimes a direct seeking becomes interference.

If I come to your house, it will be one thing, if you come to me, it is quite a different affair. If I come to your house, you will be closed to me; if you come to me, you will be open. You have come.

Bodhidharma said, "The same source of information has said to me that I must wait, and the same source has given me a particular indication how it should be known who the person is to whom the flower is transferable." So he sat for nine years without facing anyone, just facing the wall. Many people would come to him. Even the emperor of China, Wu, came to meet him, but he did not turn his face. He was just facing the wall.

Wu's courtier tried to persuade him that the emperor was coming and it is very unworthy, very unmannerly, to sit before the emperor facing the wall. Bodhidharma said, "I am not going to the emperor, the emperor is coming to me. He can choose to come to the unmannerly Bodhidharma or not. He is free. I am not coming to him."

The emperor heard that Bodhidharma had said, "I am not going to him. He is coming to me, so he must choose. If he wants to come, he must come to me as I am." Wu came. He had to come; it became obsessive. He could not check if the man was worth visiting; he came. Bodhidharma was sitting facing the wall. Wu asked him, "Why are you facing the wall? Why do you not look at me? Why do you not look at others?"

Bodhidharma said, "For my whole life I was facing you and all others, but in their eyes I never say anything other than a dead wall, so I decided that it is better to face the wall.

One is at ease, as one knows that there is a wall. When facing someone and feeling the wall there, it becomes more difficult. I can talk with you more easily because you are behind and I am not looking at you."

For nine years continuously he was facing the wall just like this. The person came for whom he had certain information. The person, Hui Neng, came. He cut off his hand, gave it to Bodhidharma and said, "Make a complete about-turn; otherwise I will cut my head."

And Bodhidharma took a complete turn, faced Hui Neng and said, "I deliver you the flower. I was waiting. A certain source of knowledge gave me the signs -- `the person will come, will cut his hand, will put it in front of you, and if you delay a second he will cut his head.' Do not be in a hurry. I am ready to give you the things for which I have traveled from India to China."

That secret cult has flowered now into the exoteric cult of Zen. Zen Buddhism is just an exoteric cult around this esoteric Bodhidharma tradition. Now, whatsoever Suzuki is talking or others are talking around the world, is from the exoteric knowledge, not from the esoteric. Now that has become hidden again; it has again disappeared. But the current is there, it continues so that is why there are esoteric circles; they exist for so many reasons.

You ask me how am I connected with any esoteric group. If you can be in contact with one, you can be in contact with all. It is just a matter of tuning. If your radio can work with one station, there is no difficulty in its working with another. If the mechanism is working rightly, you can catch any station around the world. If you can be in contact with one esoteric group, you can be in contact with all. You may not like to be in contact, you may like it, but once you know the tuning you can be in contact. And many times you come across a secret school, but you lose the opportunity, you lose the track.

Whatsoever I am saying is in many ways esoteric. That is why many times I become very confusing to you. Any exoteric teaching is never confusing, it is clearcut. It is just like two plus two equals four, it is always a simple thing. But the esoteric, the inner, the secret, is difficult to understand, because your understanding becomes disturbed with any new knowledge which has to be absorbed.

Any knowledge that you know, you can absorb easily. It can become a part of you; you can easily digest it. Anything which is new to you is hard to digest. And no esoteric knowledge can be delivered in mathematical terms. It has to be delivered mystically, it has to be delivered poetically. Then it becomes living. It means many things simultaneously.

I have been in contact with many esoteric groups. I have known many persons who are still alive who belong to some group. I have known many keys which were delivered by authentic teachers. But no key of the old tradition is enough, so I am devising new keys.

Because I am devising new keys, I am not directly concerned with any esoteric group, as each esoteric group is interested in and is entrusted with a particular key to preserve. I am not interested in a particular key. I am interested in devising new methods, new techniques, new keys, because all the old keys have become in many ways irrelevant.

One thing has to be understood, that all these keys were developed in a world which was local, always local. For the first time, we are in a world which is absolutely non-local, universal. Really, for the first time we are in a world. Before, we were always confined to a particular part of the world. All those keys were developed for particular local conditions and cultures. Now, for the first time, the world is, in a way, a mixed-up mess.

There is no particular culture, there is no particular conditioning. Everything is mixed up.

And soon this is going to be more and more the case. Soon there will be a world citizen with no local background at all -- with a universal background.

Before this century ends, we will need -- we are already in need of -- keys which are universal. For example, Jesus' key was for a particular Jewish group. This is really an irony of history, that Jesus invented a key, devised a key, for the Jewish mind, and now Jews are against him. And those who follow him are against the Jews. But the key was particularly devised for a Jewish-conditioned mind. As far as I am concerned, Christ can be used more easily with a Jew than with a Christian, because the Christian is just a later outgrowth; Jesus never knew any Christian. He himself was not a Christian, he was a Jew. But this is the irony of our history.

Buddha devised a key for a particular mind. Now only in India does that particular mind exist, but his key is nowhere in India. It exists in China, Japan, Ceylon, Burma and Tibet, but not in India. And he devised a key for a particular Hindu mind. He was Hindu born and as a Hindu he died. He never knew any Buddhism. So the key was developed for a Hindu mind. And then, around the key, there develops a sect which goes against Hinduism. Then the key becomes irrelevant. It is not of any use for anyone, except for a particular Hindu mind. But this is the irony of history. It always happens so.

So I am struggling and devising keys that are, in a way, universal -- not for a particular localized culture, but for the human mind as such. And soon we will need them, these local keys will not do. Neither will any amalgam do, nor will all these keys put together do. That makes even more nonsense. You are unlocking one lock with so many keys: something from the Koran, something from the Bible, something from Buddha, something from Mahavira. And there are many people with very good wishes, doing much wrong. They talk about the unity of all religions. That is talking about the unity of all keys for opening one lock -- the unity of all keys! One is enough, and too many keys will not enable you to open a lock. One might have opened it, now too many will not.

These are all local keys developed in a world which was divided. There was no universal mind. There never has been as far as our so-called knowledge of history is concerned.

Sometimes this phenomenon of a universal mind has happened, but that is beyond our civilization, that is beyond our memory. Sometimes this phenomenon of a universal mind has happened previously also, but that has been completely forgotten.

For example, I will tell you one or two things. In England, they change the date at midnight. That makes no sense, really. It it absurd, no one will awaken out of his sleep just to change the date. It is illogical, impractical. The date should be changed in the morning -- that is common sense. You always change your calendar in the morning. But why has it been done this way? There is a secret.

In India, when it is 5:30 in the morning, it is midnight in England. There was a time, before this civilization, when the Hindu concept ruled over the whole world. Just like when the British Empire was all over the world, Greenwich time was the real time; everyone would refer to it. Now, with the fall of the British Empire, Greenwich time is nearly forgotten. After ten or fifteen thousand years no one will know about it.

There was a world before Mahabharat -- a prehistoric Indian war -- when the Hindu mind ruled over the whole world. Whenever it was morning in India, that was the time to change the date. It was midnight in England, so they also changed the calendar date then.

That continued.

You will be surprised that in England, the parliament made a special act three hundred years ago to begin the year with January 1. Before three hundred years ago, the year was ending with March 25. But what does it mean to end the year with March 25? There is no meaning in it. But that was the day in which the Indian year ended. On March 25 the Indian year ends, and that was so all over the world. They had to make a special act to change it.

The word `December' means the tenth month, but it is the twelfth. December comes from dush -- ten in Sanskrit. But why is it the twelfth month? It is the tenth in the Indian year.

The old tradition had continued; their calendar was derived from India.

The last week of December is known all over the world as Xmas. X is Roman for ten, and mas in Sanskrit means month. Xmas means the tenth month, it means December. But why? December should not be the tenth month. But it has been tenth in the Indian calendar, before Mahabharat happened, about five thousand years ago.

In Mahabharat, which also means a prehistorical Indian scripture, we have a story that Arjuna was married to a Mexican girl. The Sanskrit word maxika became Mexico. And in Mexico, the civilization that existed has so many Hindu symbols that you cannot help but say that it was a Hindu civilization. The whole of the Mexican civilization was Hindu --

Hindu temples, Hindu gods. Even the deity Ganesh was found there, but now it is almost as if it never was.

We have come again to a universal world in which Arjuna can marry a Mexican girl.

Soon again there will be no localized cultures. For this unfocused culture we have to devise new, more liquid keys -- less solid and more liquid, which can be used with so many locks.

I have known so many esoteric groups -- in this life and before. I have been in contact with many esoteric groups, but I cannot tell you their whereabouts. I cannot tell you their names, because that is not permitted, and it is of no use really. But I can tell you that they still exist, they still try to help.

Some groups are still very alive -- for example, Ashoka's group. If Ashoka has done something more meaningful than any emperor has done anywhere in the world, it was creating this esoteric group of nine. Akbar tried to imitate Ashoka in many ways. He made a group of nine, but it was meaningless. They were just courtiers -- Nava Ratna, the Nine Jewels of Akbar. But they were just imitation jewels -- exoteric. Someone was a poet, someone was a warrior, and that makes no sense. But Akbar knew from somewhere that Ashoka had a group of nine wise persons, so he made a group of nine jewels. He did not know everything about Ashoka's group.

The Ashoka group has persisted for two thousand years. It is still alive with the key, still working. The whole theosophical movement was initiated by this group. That is why in theosophy Buddha became the suprememost person. And the whole theosophy, in a way, was Buddhist or Hindu. That is why in Western countries it was thought that it was an Eastern effort to convert the West -- that it was just Hinduism working in a new garb.

This is true in a sense, because the initiator group was a Buddhist group.

You can also be in contact with some esoteric group. There are techniques and methods.

But then you will have to do much work upon yourself. As you are, you can never be in contact. You will just pass by an esoteric circle, but you will not even be able to detect it.

You will have to change yourself, tune yourself, for new dimensions, for new vibrations to be felt; you will have to be sensitive.

Then you will not ask me, "Have you been in contact with an esoteric group?" You will know just by sitting near me, you will know just by looking into my eyes. You will feel just by hearing my words, or even by hearing my silence. You will understand. But that will come only if you change yourself, attune yourself, for the new reality -- if you open yourself for new dimensions.

Esoteric groups are and always have been there. Only you are closed -- closed in thought, closed in thinking, closed within yourself -- no opening, no window, no door. The sky is there -- just open the window, and you will know the sky and the stars. Howsoever far off they may be, just by opening your window, which is so near, you come in contact with far-off stars. In a way, it is illogical. By opening such a near window, how can you come in contact with far-off stars? If I tell you, "Open this window behind you and then you will come in contact with the whole universe," you will say, "It is absurd. Just by opening this window which is so near, how can I be in contact with what is so far?" But it is so.

Open a window in your mind, make a meditative window, and you will be in contact with so many far-off lights, with so many happenings which are always around.

Just around the corner, just around you, everything is happening. But you are blind or asleep or just unaware. I am here; you cannot conceive of what is happening here. You cannot conceive of it!

I was a student in a university. The vice-chancellor spoke at some birthday celebration. I was just a student in the first year. The vice-chancellor said, "I wish I had been alive in the days of Gautama the Buddha, I would have gone to his feet."

I interfered and I said, "Please reconsider this. Please think it over once again, then speak.

Really, would you have gone to Buddha's feet? Have you gone in this life to any beggar?

Buddha was a beggar. Have you gone to anyone who is a teacher -- a teacher of the invisible world? As far as I know, you have never gone to any, so please reconsider whether, had you been alive in Buddha's day, you would have gone to his feet, whether you would have recognized him. Have you recognized anyone in this life?"

He was bewildered, he was taken back, he became silent. He said, "I take my words back because I never thought it over. I just said it. Really, I have never been to anyone, so it seems logical that I would not have gone to Buddha. And even if I would have passed by, I would not have looked at him. And even if I would have looked at him, I would not have recognized him, because it is not so that whosoever came in contact with Buddha recognized him. It is not so!"

Buddha passes from a village... and no one recognized him. His own father does not recognize him, with his own wife even there is no recognition.

I am here; you cannot recognize what is inside. Only the outside is known. You only become acquainted with the outside. That is how it should be. You are not in contact with your own innerness, so how can you be in contact with mine? That is an impossibility. It becomes easy if you are in contact with your own innerness. Then you can be in contact with my innerness, or innerness as such. Otherwise, you will just go on asking me, and I will continue answering you. Then everything just misses the point.

But I answer you not in order that you should get the answer from my answer. No, I never hope against hope, I never hope that my answer can become your answer. I know very well that my answer is of no use to you. But then why do I go on answering your questions?

I go on answering not in order that my answer will become your answer, but because if you can listen to me silently, totally, in that silent listening you will come directly upon your own innerness. Suddenly it can explode to you, suddenly you can be in another world that is completely different from any in which you have been living. And if that happens, then you have come into a new existence.

That new existence is your own. It is an esoteric, inner secret. That inner existence has all these things.

I Am the Gate

Chapter #9

Chapter title: Even In a Single Moment

2 June 1971 in Bombay, India

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Question 1

PART OF A DISCOURSE GIVEN BY OSHO ON JUNE 2, 1971 IN BOMBAY, INDIA, AND BASED ON AN INTERVIEW BY MA ANANDA PRATIMA.

Awakening is possible even in a single moment. In that single moment, one can explode into the divine. That is possible, but generally it never happens. One has to struggle for continuous lives, because the task is arduous and one cannot awaken himself. It is very much like this: if one is asleep in the morning, there is every possibility that one can dream he is awake, though he will not be awake.

A group of persons decide collectively to make some effort. Then it is more possible that sleep can be broken. So awakening is really a group work. It can happen individually, and each individual is capable of doing it alone, but it never happens so. The actual working is different, because we never work to our utmost capacity. We never work beyond a ten percent part of the mind. Ninety percent remains just potential; it is never used.

There is no difference in your dreaming whether you are asleep or awake, dreaming goes on inside. This awakening, this awareness which we all have, is only superficial. Deep inside there is a dream, and that continues.

So one can have two things: either individual work is possible or group work is needed.

The whole order of sannyas was created as group work. Awakening becomes more possible if there are ten thousand people working in a group, so even if one is awakened, he can create a chain of awakenings.

Buddha created a group order, Mahavira created a group order. Their orders were really an outward phenomenon; they were sannyasins, an order of sannyasins. Inwardly they were doing a group work, and that group work continues for lives.

For example, there are still persons alive of the Buddhist group of sannyasins. And they have an inner understanding and an inner oath -- a promise to the group -- that whenever someone is awakened, he will do his utmost to awaken the others, particularly those belonging to the group. Why those belonging to the group? Because every school has a particular technique.

If you have worked with a particular technique in your previous lives, you can work easily in this life. So, there are many persons who belong to me since their other births, their other lives. And that group of persons is more capable in many ways. It has worked something, it has done something, up to a point; it is not just a beginning for them.

Otherwise, with every new person, you have to do more unnecessary and unessential work.

For example, intellectual work is needed for beginners. Those who have worked in their past lives with a particular technique, they will not need any intellectual work now. You tell them the technique, and they will begin to do it.

There will be no intellectual work, they will not ask superficial questions. That curiosity will not be there, and that curiosity takes much time and much energy. So one can work with beginners if one has so many lives ahead. But if one has no life ahead, he cannot work on beginners. He has to confine his work to the old ones who are somehow on the bank. They do not need any intellectual philosophy; they have no superficial inquiries.

They will just go deep, directly.

The old requirement, the requirement that one should have faith, is really a trick. It is just to distinguish between the old ones and the new ones. With the new ones, faith is impossible; only doubt is possible. Only with the old ones is faith possible, and doubt is impossible.

So faith is just a technique, a trick, to choose between them and to know on whom more work can be done in less time. It is not that those who can have faith are in any way different than those who have doubts. It is only that those who have faith have worked somewhere, so intellectual curiosity is not there; it has been fulfilled. They have passed; they are not just entering the school, they have passed the entrance.

So to ask for faith is to ask, "Have you worked in your past lives?" If you have worked, only then can you have faith; otherwise you cannot. And in today's world doubt seems much more prominent, easier. Faith is very difficult. The reason is not that the human mind has been changed, the reason is only this: that the old traditions are running narrow.

Really, since Nanak there have been no new traditions. Now all the religions are old.

They have been going on, the river is narrowing every day. With every new day, the tradition has fewer persons with it. Since Buddha there are now twenty-five centuries --

the tradition is so old that almost all who were connected with the living master are liberated! And all those persons who have remained are really very third rate. They have had twenty-five centuries of continuous work.

All the traditions and their continuity are, in a way, so old now. That is why faith is less.

There were so many living traditions and so many persons who have worked in their past lives. Faith was the root for each one, doubt was very difficult.

If you ask me, I am doing many things. One is working for those who have been in any way connected with me -- and there are many. Another is to create a new continuity which we will be living in the coming days, because no old thinking is of use now.

And I would not like to change someone from his own continuity, because if we cannot liberate a man in a long tradition of twenty-five centuries, it is useless to change him now. It is better to let him go deep in his own tradition. It is better not to change him, but make his own tradition a living one. He can go deep in it. He will be another continuity with the old.

But previously, I was working for the new ones, so my emphasis was on doubt. I will always be concerned with doubt, because only through doubt can you attract the new one, never through faith. Faith attracts the old one. He has been doing something in his past lives. My emphasis has been on doubt only because I should work for a new tradition which will be living.

Now my emphasis will be on faith, and there is no contradiction. This is only changing the entrance and nothing else. When I was emphasizing doubt, no one came. Now I will emphasize faith. So I will work for those with whom I was connected in past lives.

So there will be no difficulty, because we never go deep in anything. We cannot go deep.

There are levels. When I say doubt, when I say faith, this is inconsistent. Only the labeling may be different, only different words will come now. Whatsoever I was doing will continue. Now my emphasis will be for those who have worked for something. That is why this order of sannyas -- because with doubt it cannot be created.

Whenever there is doubt, one can be alone and can never work in a group. With a technique of doubt you can never work in a group, never. Doubts make you an island.

But when you become a continent, then you are joined with others. Then there is no separation, and you can work in the group.

As far as man is concerned he is so weak that we cannot rely upon him individually. He cannot do anything, he can only deceive himself. So, if we are going to work on individuals we have to create mechanical helps. For example, you are asleep, and no one is there to awaken you. You will have to use an alarm clock, that is the mechanical device to help you. But no mechanical device will be very helpful for long because you will become used to it, and soon you will not be disturbed in your sleep by your alarm clock.

Rather, sleep can be even more sound -- and the working of the mind is such that you will change the alarm into a symbol in a dream, and it will be interpreted in a different way.

Then it will not become a discontinuity in sleep. You will create a dream in such a way that the alarm becomes just a part of it, so that it is not against your sleep but a part of your dream.

I have tried with many persons individually. I have given mechanical devices also, but they have become accustomed to them and then a new fallacy arises. That is the greatest fallacy in spirituality: one can dream he is awake. That is the most fatal disease, the most dangerous: we can continue our sleep and we can dream we are awake. Then there is no need for devices, and you are in your dreams alone.

So my emphasis from now on will be on group work. So even if one is awakened just for a single moment, he can create shocks for others. He can shake you. And this order of sannyas will be just a group with inner faith.

When you feel, even for a single second, awareness coming to you, help others. And they will help you when the need is there.

Table of Contents

Chapter title: I am the gate