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\title{Suturing the Split}
\date{November 25, 2016}
\author{Clémence x. Clémentine}
\subtitle{Coda on the Couple-Form}




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  {\usekomafont{title}{\huge Suturing the Split\par}}%
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  {\usekomafont{subtitle}{Coda on the Couple-Form\par}}%
  
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  {\usekomafont{author}{Clémence x. Clémentine\par}}%
  
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  {\usekomafont{date}{November 25, 2016\par}}%
  

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We wrote “Against the Couple-Form” in 2010.


After some revisions, it appeared in 2012.


This text railed against every existing form of romantic coupling.


Which we considered a barrier to the triumph of a feminist revolution.


Since then, a number of things have happened.


Amongst us, between us, in the world.


We’ve been startled. swept. unsettled.


We’ve had to rethink.


\forcelinebreak  A psychoanalytic turn in our thinking, circa 2013.


Not so much Freud or Lacan, but Klein.


The psychoanalysis of group experience that comes out of Klein’s object relations theory.


Wilfred Bion. Group relations.


We’ve been digesting.


Taken in new directions.


Thinking through projection and introjection:


Being unwilling to tolerate certain affects within ourselves so we ascribe them to others.


Being unwilling to tolerate our own affects, so we take on the feelings of others.


Which has led us to the trough of the feels.


\forcelinebreak  The denunciation of the couple, the boyfriend, the partner, the plus one


may be a form of projection.


A way of banishing those things we are afraid to see in ourselves,


making them properties of the couple


The disavowal of one’s own aggression, externalized as men.


\forcelinebreak  Feminists must be wary


Wary of projecting aggression onto men as a category


which then relieves women and non-cis-men of having to recognize


The forms of aggression that dwell within us


The forms of violence that we can and do unleash


We think it’s important for white women, cis-women, women with resources,


women living in the centres of empire, women of many different positions


To be able to recognize their own aggression.


Channeled both within and against this world.


Feminists must not idealize themselves.


\forcelinebreak  Learning to let ourselves feel ambivalence.


Learning to let ourselves acknowledge ambivalence.


Towards ourselves. towards our political projects. towards our comrades.


\forcelinebreak  In our experiments abstaining from the couple


We also encountered the difficulties of non-coupley kinship


The way that we fail each other and love each other and fail to love each other.


People, groups, are never one thing


Never a pure “fuck this” or “love this”


Letting the sadness seep up.


\forcelinebreak  You have to be enlivened by the disappointments


Or you will die before you are actually dead.


Even in communism or whatever we mean by that


we will have moments of deceleration, of uncertainty.


\forcelinebreak  We are learning to be supple with feelings


To engage them with the kind of thought and care that we use for the three volumes of \emph{Capital}


To be as rigorous with understanding what we are feeling as we are with parsing political economic categories.


\forcelinebreak  We’ve also come to notice the way in which denouncing the couple-form is a defense


A crutch, an alibi, a means of hiding


From the challenges, the dangers, the vulnerabilities of being close


Of saying what we are thinking and feeling


Being willing to ask for what we want


Relationally, sexually, interpersonally.


\forcelinebreak  We are still sick of couples and coupley people.


We think you are boring and pathetic


Every time you relinquish an opportunity to show up for your friends and comrades


In the street, at the party, at the police line.


For the rowdy and sexy and scary moments. All the juiciness of the social totality.


So that you can seclude yourself, couple down behind the locked doors of the world.


Infinite eye roll.


We have a venom cocktail ready for you.


\forcelinebreak  We know that that this seclusion emerges from the unease that this world generates in us


The fear of being defenseless, alone, without aid


Without the simple, calming sensation of burrowing into another’s body


And also the exhaustion, the strain of being misunderstood, invisible, without witness


That drives us towards the pseudo-insurance policy of coupledom


\forcelinebreak  And it’s not simply coupling


We have invented so many ways of hiding from the horrors of this world


And from the ways we inhabit them daily, hourly.


The couple is one form of hiding among many.


This is the tone and mode of (not) engaging with the social that disgusts us.


\forcelinebreak  We feel the pull to be in a couple because everyone else is


And this is the same pull that convinces us that


We have to pay rent because everyone else does


Or work for money because everyone else does


Of course, history can swerve abruptly


Such that we don’t know what landlords, bosses, or husbands are anymore.


We’re into this. We want this moment to cum.


\forcelinebreak  Certain modes of relating can crack us open.


I didn’t know I wanted to go up to the roof till you asked me.


I didn’t know I wanted to be fucked in public till you asked me.


I didn’t know I wanted to set a million dollars alight till you asked me.


What we have found within our interactions with lovers


The practice of paying attention to what quickens our breath


Of noticing what arouses us


Naming it, cultivating it, pursuing it


\forcelinebreak  We think this practice is ultimately connected to


what will allow us to stop going to work, to take what we need.


We are learning how to unleash our desires to the point that they rupture with capital


We want to use them as weathervanes that point only


Towards communism.


\forcelinebreak  And we think an emotional reflexivity, intelligence, and tenderness—what am I feeling? how can I describe it? how do my feelings affect how I interact with those around me?—


Will be necessary for trusting each other


Building the type of bonds that can pull us out of this world.


Bonds long enough to sustain the growing of carrots and the expropriation of armaments.


\forcelinebreak  We’ve received some inquiries about the role of sex in struggle against the couple.


We would like to clarify our position:


We want to be slapped in the face when we cum


To be penetrated in several orifices simultaneously


To be fucked also by the intoxicating prose of women


By the colors of the sun setting on this city.


We would like to spend years touching every other part of your body besides your genitals.


To spend years becoming intimate with our own physical dexterity


Readying ourselves for the love, the riots that arrive unannounced.


\forcelinebreak  Under our breath, you can hear us humming:


*without god


without law


without husband


free beautiful and crazy*


\forcelinebreak  <3,


\forcelinebreak  Clémence x. Clémentine \Slash{} infinite venom association




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The Anarchist Library



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Anti-Copyright



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Clémence x. Clémentine

Suturing the Split

Coda on the Couple-Form

November 25, 2016


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Retrieved on March 27 2017 from gutsmagazine.ca\Slash{}couple-form
   

   



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