Passages selected by distinguished personages: on the great literary trial of Vortigern and Rowena; a comi-tragedy. ... [pt.3]

Table of contents

- [halftitle]

- [titlepage]

- IRELAND, versus SHAKESPEARE!!!

- CONTENTS.

- [trials]

- PASSAGES. SELECTED AS SUFFRAGES ON THE FIFTIETH DAY's TRIAL.

- CCIV.—LORD K—N—D.

- CCV.—MISS O—LE.

- CCVI.—ALD—N P—CK—T.

- CCVII.—LADY D—RH—ST.

- FIFTY-FIRST DAY's TRIAL.

- CCVIII.—H. R. H. the DUKE of Y—K.

- CCIX.—MRS. P—LH—M.

- CCX.—ALD—N N—WN—M.

- CCXI.—LADY JANE P—G—T.

- FIFTY-SECOND DAY's TRIAL.

- CCXII.—ARCHB—P OF C—NT—Y.

- CCXIII.—MISS G—NN—G.

- CCXIV.—MR. C—NC—N.

- CCXV.—HON. MISS ED—N.

- FIFTY-THIRD DAY's TRIAL.

- CCXVI.—DUKE OF H—M—LT—N.

- CCXVII.—MISS TH—RL—W.

- CCXVIII.—CAPT. V—NC—V—R.

- CCXIX.—PRINCESS S—PH—A.

- FIFTY-THIRD DAY's TRIAL.

- CCXX.—ADMIRAL SIR JOHN J—RV—S.

- CCXXI.—LADY BELL. P—LW—TH.

- CCXXII.—REV. DR. P—RR.

- CCXXIII.—MISS S—WB—GE.

- FIFTY-FOURTH DAY's TRIAL.

- CCXXIV.—RT. HON. WM. P—TT.

- CCXXV.—MRS. H—LE.

- CCXXVI.—COL. F—LL—T—N.

- CCXXVII.—LADY M—ND—P.

- FIFTY-FIFTH DAY's TRIAL.

- CCXXVIII.—EARL OF S—FF—K.

- CCXXIX.—MADEMOISELLE F—N—NI.

- CCXXX.—MR. D—NT.

- CCXXXI.—LADY C. G. N—RES.

- FIFTY-SIXTH DAY's TRIAL.

- CCXXXII.—EARL OF OXF—D.

- CCXXXIII.—COUNTESS OF D—BY.

- CCXXXIV.—MR. D—Y.

- CCXXXV.—Hon. Mrs. STR—F—D.

- FIFTY-EIGHTH DAY's TRIAL.

- CCXXXVI.—Mr. Sec. R—SE.

- No. CCXXXVII.—Lady B—ME.

- No. CCXXXVIII.—Sir THOMAS T—T—N.

- CCXXXIX.—Miss OG—LVIE.

- FIFTY-NINETH DAY's TRIAL.

- No. CCXL.—Earl SP—R.

- No. CCXLI.—Lady C—LL.

- No. CCXLII.—Mr. B—RW—L.

- No. CCXLIII.—Lady D—CRE.

- FORTIETH DAY's TRIAL.

- CCXLIV.—Lord GR—NV—LE.

- CCXLV.—Lady H—L—D.

- CCXLVI.—Capt. M—R—CE.

- CCXLVII.—Lady H—W—RD de W—LD—N.

- FORTY-FIRST DAY's TRIAL.

- CCXLVIII.—Prince WILLIAM of G—.

- CCXLIX.—Mrs. BR—D—D.

- CCL.—Mr. H—ST—GS.

- CCLI.—Mrs. ST—T.

- FORTY-SECOND DAY's TRIAL.

- CCLII. Rear-Admiral Sir HORATIO N—LS—N, K. B.

- CCLIII. Mrs. C—MPB—L, ci-devant Miss W—LL—S.

- CCLIV.—Mr. FR—NC—S.

- CCLV.—Hon. Miss BL—GH.

- FORTY-THIRD DAY's TRIAL.

- CCLVI.—SIR LIONEL D—L.

- CCLVII.—MISS ANG—SH.

- CCLVIII.—SIR CHARLES F— R—DCL—FE.

- CCLIX.—COUNTESS OF SH—FTSB—Y.

- FORTY-FOURTH DAY's TRIAL.

- CCLX.—SIR J. ANSTR—R.

- CCLXI.—MRS. BR—DY—L.

- CCLXII.—ADMIRAL LORD H—D.

- CCLXIII.—MARCHIONESS OF B—K—G—M.

- FORTY-FIFTH DAY's TRIAL.

- CCLXIV.—ADMIRAL LORD D—NC—N.

- CCLXV.—COUNTESS DOWAGER OF M—NSF—D.

- CCLXVI.—SIR CH. B—NB—Y.

- CCLXVII.—DUCHESS OF L—DS.

- SIXTY-SIXTH DAY's TRIAL.

- CCLXVIII.—ALDERMAN AND—RS—N, LORD M—Y—R.

- CCLXIX.—HON. MISS D—NC—N.

- CCLXX.—SIR H— H—GHT—N.

- CCLXXI.—HON. MISS K—NG.

- SIXTY-SEVENTH DAY's TRIAL.

- CCLXXII.—LORD H—WKES—RY.

- CCLXXIII.—LADY ANN N—TH.

- CCLXXIV.—MR. BRYAN ED—DS.

- CCLXXV.—MARCHIONESS OF H—RTF—D.

- SIXTY-EIGHTH DAY's TRIAL.

- CCLXXVI.—LORD VISCOUNT H—REF—D.

- CCLXXVII.—LADY ALMERIA C—RP—R.

- CCLXXVIII.—MR. M—CN—M—A, [of Streatham.]

- CCLXXIX.—LADY ST. AS—PH.

- SIXTY-NINTH DAY's TRIAL.

- CCLXXX.—LORD C—WD—R.

- CCLXXXI.—LADY — T—YL—R.

- CCLXXXII—DR. L—WR—CE.

- CCLXXXIII.—MRS. SCR—PE.

- SEVENTIETH DAY's TRIAL.

- CCLXXXIV.—BISHOP OF D—M.

- CCLXXXV.—COUNTESS OF C—RK.

- CCLXXXVI.—EARL OF C—RD—N.

- CCLXXXVII.—LADY C—H—R.

- SEVENTY-FIRST DAY's TRIAL.

- CCLXXXVIII.—VICE-ADMIRAL C—LP—YS.

- CCLXXXIX.—COUNTESS OF H—RC—T.

- CCXC.—SIR FRANCIS B—D—TT.

- CCXCI.—COUNTESS OF B—KL—Y.

- SEVENTY-SECOND DAY's TRIAL.

- CCXCII.—BISHOP OF W—CH—R.

- CCXCIII.—LADY E. E. FITZG—LD.

- CCXCIV.—LORD M—NTO.

- CCXCV.—LADY CON—GH—M.

- SEVENTY-THIRD DAY's TRIAL.

- CCXCVI.—Rev. DR. [Anti-Sejanus] SC—T.

- CCXCVII.—LADY L—GHB—GH.

- CCXCVIII.—LADY EDWARD FITZG—LD.

- CCXCIX.—MR. HENRY AD—NGT—N.

END OF VOL. III.

VORTIGERN AND ROWENA; A COMI-TRAGEDY.

PASSAGES SELECTED BY DISTINGUISHED PERSONAGES, ON THE GREAT LITERARY TRIAL OF VORTIGERN AND ROWENA; A Comi-Tragedy.

"WHETHER IT BE—OR BE NOT FROM THE IMMORTAL PEN OF SHAKSPEARE?"

VOLUME III.

FOURTH EDITION.

—"Open me a huge Wardrobe aboundinge in motlie habittes, and marke howe fantasticallie poore mortals will arraie themselves!"
VORT. and ROW

LONDON: PRINTED BY H. BROWN, FOR J. RIDGWAY, YORK-STREET, ST. JAMES'S-SQUARE.

IRELAND, versus SHAKESPEARE!!!

By the COURT.

IT having in our sapiency been discovered, through the course of the present important CAUSE, that more evidence may sometimes be given, where much has already been received—

It is ordered, for the furtherance of strict poetical justice in said Cause, that no solemn ADJUDICATION be made therein, until final default of testimony extractive, be made appear by due proclamation, through our trusty, and well beloved, FILAZER, the EDITOR of those Diurnal Records, ycleped the MORNING HERALD!

(Signed) POLONIUS
Die Martis 11o, 1798.

CONTENTS.

- A

- Ad—ngt—n, Mr. Henry 96

- And—rs—n, Lord M-y-r 65

- Ang—sh, Miss 54

- Anstr—r, Sir J. 57

- As—ph, Lady St. 76

- B

- B—me, Lady 34

- B—nb—y, Sir Ch. 63

- B—d—tt, Sir Francis 87

- B—kl—y, Countess of 88

- B—rw—l, Mr. 39

- Bl—gh, Hon. Miss 52

- Br—dy—l, Mrs. 58

- Br—d—d, Mrs. 46

- B—k—g—m, March. of 60

- C

- C—nt—y, Archb—p of 9

- C—ll, Lady 38

- C-mpb-l, Mrs. ci-devant Miss W—ll—s 50

- C—rp—r, Lady Almeria 74

- C—wd—r, Lord 77

- C—rk, Countess of 82

- C—rd—n, Earl of 83

- C—h—r, Lady 84

- C—lp—ys, Vice-Adm. 85

- Con—gh—m, Lady 92

- D

- D—rh—st, Lady 4

- D—nt, Mr. 27

- D—by, Countess of 30

- D—y, Mr. 31

- D—cre, Lady 40

- D—l, Sir Lionel 53

- D—nc—n, Adm. Lord 61

- D—nc—n, Hon. Miss 66

- D—m, Bishop of 81

- E

- Ed—n, Hon. Miss 12

- Ed—ds, Mr. Bryan 71

- F

- F—n—ni, Mad. 26

- Fitzg—ld, Lady E. E. 90

- Fitzg—ld, Lady Edward 95

- F—ll—t—n, Col. 23

- G

- G—nn—g, Miss 10

- Gr—nv—le, Lord 41

- G—, Prince William 45

- H

- H—m—lt—n, Duke of 13

- H—le, Mrs. 22

- H—l—d, Lady 42

- H-w-rd de W-ld-n, Lady 44

- H—st—gs, Mr. 47

- H—d, Adm. Lord 59

- H—ght—n, Sir H— 67

- H—wkes—ry, Lord 69

- H—rtf—d, March. of 72

- H—ref—d, Lord Visc. 73

- H—rc—t, Countess of 86

- J

- J—rv—s, Adm. Sir John 17

- K

- K—n—d, Lord 1

- K—ng, Hon. Miss 68

- L

- L—ds, Duchess of 64

- L—wr—ce, Dr. 79

- L—ghb—gh, Lady 94

- M

- M—nd—p, Lady 24

- M—r—ce, Capt. 43

- M-nsf-d, Css. Dow. of 62

- M—cn—m—a, Mr. [of Streatham] 75

- M—nto, Lord 91

- N

- N—wn—m, Ald—n 7

- N—res, Lady C. G. 28

- N—lf—n, Rear-Adm. 49

- N—th, Lady Ann 70

- O

- O—le, Miss 2

- Oxf—d, Earl of 29

- Og—lvie, Miss 36

- P

- P—ck—t, Ald—n 3

- P—lh—m, Mrs. 6

- P—g—t, Lady Jane 8

- P—lw—th, Lady Bell 18

- P—rr, Rev. Dr. 19

- P—tt, Rt. Hon. Wm. 21

- R

- R—se, Mr. Sec. 33

- R—del—fe, Sir Ch. F. 55

- S

- S—ph—a, Princess 16

- S—vb—ge, Miss 20

- S—ff—k, Earl of 25

- Str—f—d, Hon. Mrs. 32

- Scr—pe, Mrs. 80

- Sc—t, Rev. Dr. [Anti-Sejanus] 93

- Sp—r, Earl 37

- St—t, Mrs. 48

- Sh—ftsb—y, Countess of 56

- T

- Th—rl—w, Miss 14

- T—t—n, Sir Thomas 35

- T—yl—r, Lady — 78

- V

- V—nc—v—r, Capt. 15

- W

- W—ch—r, Bishop of 89

- Y

- Y—k, Duke of 5

PASSAGES. SELECTED AS SUFFRAGES ON THE FIFTIETH DAY's TRIAL.

CCIV.—LORD K—N—D.

—"I telle thee, Urvin, he is a Lorde, and that a keene one!—Why, man, he was once more poore, than nowe he's proude, untill jogging up on foote from t'other side the Tweede, he did contrive to repose his Scottishe crownette on the riche toilette of a Monielender's daughter!—thence tooke his honoures a more statelie pollishe, being sette in golde!—Nowe he hathe nightlie divinations of Jeweish aggrandizements, and will dreame you of nought but lotteries, and loanes;—nay, and a wiser man had not prevented it, he would have turned his eldest born into a Blew-coate Boy, to have a hand hereditarie in everie wheele of fortune!"

PAGE 6.—GENUINE.

CCV.—MISS O—LE.

—"Heaven befriende us, sister Blanche! and, in its nexte shower of sweete husbandes, send us a comelie couple!—Marry, but we can accommodate our lordlie masters more ways than one, or else be-shame our breeding up!—If they allowe us not to combe their conjugal heades, we can, at least, carrie their palfries, and ride them saddle-less to water; so that, when we are found useless as Groomes o' the chamber, we may be convertible into those of the stable!—Nay, and the worst do befall us, we can lay aside our tomboye trickes, and comport ourselves like reasonable women, sans further ogle-ing!"

PAGE 25.—GENUINE.

CCVI.—ALD—N P—CK—T.

—"When they did expunge those emptie heades from off the frontlet of our Citie's gate, mine own was sette thereon, and did most wittinglie devise, how to dismantle our Temple's barre to publique inter-cursion. To builde a goode right civique fame, one must be constrained to pull you down the stouter workes of auntient men!—and the minde, my masters, must be kept in concussion also, or the braine of an ordinarie citizen would curdle over, like greene ducke's-weede upon a gardenne ponde!"

PAGE 1.—GENUINE.

CCVII.—LADY D—RH—ST.

—"When first the sightless youthe by me was viewed,

"I sigh'd, and hoped, in any lowlie shape,

"That I might guide his slowe be-darken'd way!

"Vain worldlie objects thus shut out—save one—

"This, on his minde's keene eye did always hang

"Like a night-gendered miste, which dothe eclipse

"All Nature's fairer prospects wide around!

"My harte did proudlie gain its earlie wish!—

"With me, the solace nowe of all his wrongs,

"Love's cruse of oyle [*] shall never run to waste,

"Although it be no longer pitcher'd [*] up:

"For I will shunne the modishe steppes of those

"Who first themselves doe blinde their giddie Lordes,

"Then leade them darkling to a direr fate!"

PAGE 12.—GENUINE.

FIFTY-FIRST DAY's TRIAL.

CCVIII.—H. R. H. the DUKE of Y—K.

—"Yes, that's the Prince,

"Whose pulse of youthe intemperatelie ranne

"In earlier daies!—How goodlie now the change,

"To viewe him classed with chieftains of renowne—

"Hear a pure blessinge dwell on everie tongue

"Through vet'ran rankes,—and see his palace gates,

"With proude delighte, spring open to receive

"The milde dispenser of domestique peace!—

"So peeres the radiance of a summer's sunne,

"When spring's lighte cloudes have fleeted far awaie!"

PAGE 100.—GENUINE.

CCIX.—MRS. P—LH—M.

—"Pooh, Nardina!—we women o' the chamber may as soone thinke of travelling to heaven on our backes, as into his Highness' favour by virtue of simple obedience.—Methinks one might ensure it by a proscription of all within the wane of his short-lived pleasure!—but then we must promulgate freelie, and without respect of persons:—nay, the prouder she be whom his fancie hath discarded, the nobler game for us full crie to followe!"

PAGE 73.—Not GENUINE.

CCX.—ALD—N N—WN—M.

"Sirs! 'tis wond'rous harde, that I, a Citizen and Vintner, should find my popularitie under parre, for discompting a princelie reputation at a marvellous small premium, which not a mortal amongst you would underwrite even at cent. per cent.!—I opened not this accompt current on the score of compound interest; for I was flattered that my comelinesse of person would well befitte the purlieus of a Courte;—on this I indiscreetlie drewe a bill at sight upon his Highness' favour, which being not dulie honoured, came back againe protested!"

PAGE 43.—Not GENUINE.

CCXI.—LADY JANE P—G—T.

"In features she is fashioned like her sexe,

"With luring eye, and roseate smile equipt,

"To catch you sillie gazers on their way:

"But for the airy magique of a shape,

"She dothe as far, in Nature's modelling,

"Her modern sisterhoode out-peere,—as did

"The love-formed statue all the antient worlde,

"Which Arte's proude rivalrie could never reach!"

PAGE 66.—GENUINE.

FIFTY-SECOND DAY's TRIAL.

CCXII.—ARCHB—P OF C—NT—Y.

"This morn our Lorde's prime Abbotte I behelde,

"In riche pontificalibus arraied!

"If, as in worldlie stature he dothe growe

"Erect in grace right spiritual—he'll prove

"The stoutest buttraffe of our Mother Church!—

"Let's heede not those who impiouslie saie

"That troopes of holie emptie-stomach'd seeres

"Now trencherlesse do leave the Abbie gate,

"For whom, in pious daies, alas, gone by,

"The buttrie-doores did hospitablie ope!—

"Nor those, who tell us that celestial soundes

"Of sackbutte, psalmodie, and dulcimer,

"Are drowned now in shrill Italia's straines!—

"And yet his Excellence may well assume

"To point men out a nearer road to blisse,

"By making them newe heavens here on earthe!"

PAGE 100.—Not GENUINE.

CCXIII.—MISS G—NN—G.

—"Marvina, Sir, blesse her poore harte, hathe been no better entreated by those from whome she sprung, than by the villainous worlde she dothe inhabitte!—the former made her a sillie baite for their own ambition, and the latter derided the abasement of its miscarriage:—then became she drie nurse to a withered Duchesse, who, in recompense for her fidelitie, left her even without a deathe-bed blessinge!—and now is she constrained to live by her own wittes, of which, she thanks Heaven, neither fortune, nor friendes can so baselie beguile her!"

PAGE 46.—GENUINE.

CCXIV.—MR. C—NC—N.

—"Arrah! but this foreign warfare abroad is a poore kind of trade for us Jontlemen at home, who thrive best by the sweete artes of peace and good plentie!—By my own prettie conscience, and I am destined to be scratched by a rantipole Ladie of qualitie to boote!—Och! but I had rather meete three flying devils in the bogge of Kilkennie, than one mad daughter of old King Faro upon drie lande!—•aithe, and I think it was prettie well, to be bothered out of one's light golde for a scrap of waste paper, without being tongue-tied to one's good behaviour by a piece of qualitie binding into the bargaine!"

PAGE 14.—Not GENUINE.

CCXV.—HON. MISS ED—N.

—"In virgin wildnesse thus each flow'rette bloom'd

"'Mid earthlie paradise, ere its faire face

"By sinne's illicit intercourse was blurred.

"Keepe then the worlde's insidious artes aloofe,

"That man, with serpent-tongue, may not beguile

"Primaeval innocence like this!"—

PAGE 81.—GENUINE.

FIFTY-THIRD DAY's TRIAL.

CCXVI.—DUKE OF H—M—LT—N.

—"You may marvelle how it came to passe, but, certes, Sir, he did once possess a wife, formed from the purest modelle of the antique worlde!—Soon, however, she was constrained to divorce herselfe from bedde and boarde, to shunne that multiplying, which her harte did loathe!—Then betooke he to the chuck-ribbe of another man, a stage-going rantipole, who, decked in all her Grace's jewelrie, did the counterfeite of a Duchesse so lasciviouslie enacte, that this leathernpated Lord transportinglie did sweare she was his onlie Bona-roba!"

PAGE 33.—Not GENUINE.

CCXVII.—MISS TH—RL—W.

"You are my Sire, great Lorde! so nature speakes,

"Although my humble destinie denies

"That in the worlde's faire face, or her's that bore me,

"I should this blessinge modestlie declare.—

"Some portion of that pride, howe'er, I'll boaste,

"Which doth right bluntlie appertaine to you;

"So that I ne'er, to gratifie my harte,

"Can saie the thing I mean not,—to deceive you."

PAGE 89.—GENUINE.

CCXVIII.—CAPT. V—NC—V—R.

—"Rememberest thou not, Alberto, that, in the southern latitudes, we did a flatte odde fishe descrie, with finnes for circumnavigation formed, who tossed the brinie element around him with the breathe of a fantastique nostrille, as if it were created for his owne single pastime?—but, cast on shore, he crawled not unlike to other quadrupeddes, who ever and anon must licke the duste!"

PAGE 4.—GENUINE.

CCXIX.—PRINCESS S—PH—A.

"Well, sister Gertrude, you, thus elder borne,

"With this worlde's happiness may trifle on,

"And of your royalle hartes make duckes and drakes,

"As it doth please ye!—But, for my poore parte,

"When I doe turne a wommane's mind to wedde,

"None shall at distance trafficke thus with mine.

"They wooe by proxie in so false a key,

"That when you come to viewe each other's face,

"You shrink aghast from features thus disguised,

"And falslie pictured on a courtlie minde!

"In soothe, I ne'er will yield this little hande

"But in the joyful presence of mine eye,

"And then my tongue may gladlie say—Amen!"

PAGE 18.—GENUINE.

FIFTY-THIRD DAY's TRIAL.

CCXX.—ADMIRAL SIR JOHN J—RV—S.

"Upon the fretteful bosom of the deepe

"A course of longe inquietude he steered,

"Untille that hopeful morne, which peering shewed

"Castillian streamers hemme the horizon rounde!

"The windes now leagueing on the Britton's side,

"Bore his rough barques amid the haughtie foe,

"Then lefte him on their reeking deckes to carve

"His owne, and countrie's glorie! Howe he played

"The gallant seaman's parte, those best can telle

"Who sawe the foe's proude banners floute the skie,

"Then furled lowlie at the conqueror's feete!"

PAGE 74.—GENUIN•…

CCXXI.—LADY BELL. P—LW—TH.

"Pshaw, man! a soule with ever so plaine a coveringe may grace its benevolencies right noblie. Shew me the face, however coarslie modelled, that can put you faire deedes out of countenance! So learned is this same Oresterna, that she hathe sette the wittes o' the whole Vattican to their laste stake to keepe discourse with her alive i' the dead languages! Her religion also you do question wrongfullie; for it is purelie Christian, in despight of her Mahomedan whiskers, a due portion of which she dothe licke in with her dailie foode, as dried cattle do oaten strawe in a farmeyarde!"

PAGE 104.—Not GENUINE.

CCXXII.—REV. DR. P—RR.

—"On my reverence, goode Sirs, I am an Orthographer most villainouslie entreated!—The varlettes tooke me at a non plus, just emerging from the suddes of our village tonsor, with my temples fresh shorne of their natural strengthe! Moreover, I had no pipe to smoke their waggeries withal?—I should have tried their poetique fictionne by the genuine rules of syntaxe, and then their false concords had been most apparent! In lack of this, like a dull water fowle have they ensnared me! Nay, 'tis well in Christian charitie I went no further; for the knaves did entreat my affidavit of their deedes, expecting, as a Prieste, that I should sweare through a churche-door, to save themselves from d—mn—tion!"

PAGE 100.—Not GENUINE.

CCXXIII.—MISS S—WB—GE.

"To publique virtue who so little known,

"But beares some patriotte impresse on his minde

"Of blooming Erva's sire?—Beholding her,

"Quick we retrace those lineaments of worthe

"Which so enwrapp'd mankind, but brighter still

"Displaie their radiance now mid virginne charmes!"

PAGE 34.—GENUINE.

FIFTY-FOURTH DAY's TRIAL.

CCXXIV.—RT. HON. WM. P—TT.

"What illes betide the manne, who seekes to rest

"His hope, upon the fraile, and footlesse toppe

"Of vaine Ambition's ladder!—His ascent

"A ray of guileful fortune circleth rounde,

"To lure the slaveish gaze of base idolaters!

"So gapeing crowdes are drawn at first to viewe

"The mimique vaulter soaring high in aire,

"'Till the spent actor can no longer poise

"His giddie frame by pride inflated: then

"The sated ingrates, turning from the scene,

"With tauntes, and jeeres, doe loudlie greete his fall!"

PAGE 100.—GENUINE.

CCXXV.—MRS. H—LE.

—"Thankes to my manlie starres, it did belike me better, from my youthe, to tell convivial tales arounde the festive board, than go and count o'er girlish dimples in my glasse.—Sirs, I was trained with gallantes of the passing age, who could saie a choice thing with a goode grace,—marry, and doe one, when occasion served, right merrilie to boote!—But mark me sonnes of Jollitie; if I follow not the dinner clothe of diaper so soone as doe the squeamish of my sexe, I tarrie more for the flavour of your witte, than your wine!"

PAGE 45.—GENUINE.

CCXXVI.—COL. F—LL—T—N.

—"Yclep me what you please, you shall finde me a marvel-monger, but not fabulous!—I belie no man's judgement, unlesse prompted thereto by the recognition of mine owne superior senses!—By my maiden buckler did I sweare, and that right trulie, that, as Statesmen, we are all journieing beside our faire wittes, and all this, I feare, for foule purposes!—Yet, Sirs! is there a doore open to our political salvation, turning upon the honourable hinge of one manne's single valour!—of him, who by arte magique, did transforme the penne of a Lay Clerke into the truncheon of a Champagne Marshalle,—who hath fought with brother-statesmen on all sides, as well as subjects, in the senate, and in the fielde!—who heroicallie traversed all regionnes, both hotte and colde!—who hath denied, in the teeth of Welch philosophers, that the moone was made of cheese that is greene; and was the first of mankind to discover, that the Dragon of Wantlie had no sting in his taile!"

PAGE 14.—Not GENUINE.

CCXXVII.—LADY M—ND—P.

"A paire of honest eyes may fondlie looke

"On this olde frame-worke to a noble minde,

"'Till admiration's selfe doth lacke a pause!

"She's not the fretted boaste of high-arched domes,

"But the dispensing visitant of peace,

"Who seekes the lowlie roofe in search of woes

"She was ordained luxuriouslie to share!"

PAGE 54.—GENUINE.

FIFTY-FIFTH DAY's TRIAL.

CCXXVIII.—EARL OF S—FF—K.

—"By virtue of the ermined crownette on my browe, I did demande an audience of the regalle eare within the privie closette. I went not, like a bungling burglarer, to this worke of state, by crooked steppes, or darke; marry, I sought the presence i' the open fronte of daie!—The tale was rounde, and to the purporte; and my tongue did descant on the sweete sobrietie of Peace so potentlie, that answer had his Highnesse none to give, to what my witte, and wisdome thus propounded!"

PAGE 18.—GENUINE.

CCXXIX.—MADEMOISELLE F—N—NI.

—"Come, come, my prettie prattlinge Cozz, we'll bicker no more about the virtue of our progenitors, like greene gosslings on an open common!—The worlde is bountiful enough to me to acknowledge my descent either from a wise Witte, or a weake Lorde, to both of whom has baselie been imputed the sinne of my begetting! Thus the oddes are two to one, at least, but I had a father amongst them! though, like the cuckooe, she that hatched me, made any bird she pleased to father,—nay, and feather well her nestelinge into the bargaine!"

PAGE 107.—GENUINE.

CCXXX.—MR. D—NT.

—"Because I did accommodate the Kinge's Prime Ruler with the loane of a taxe on quadrupeddes canine, the curres on t'other side the Senate, have forced a run of witte upon me, in lack of other currencie, and now barke at me for the deede sans ceasing!—Nay, some of them hamper me with dailie baskettes of dead turnspittes, while others do hang their puppies on the knocker of my banke, denoting thereby, that I am little more than a discounter of dogge-skins!"

PAGE 77.—Not GENUINE.

CCXXXI.—LADY C. G. N—RES.

"Heare, Madame, now, an outcast daughter speake!—

"If 'tis the failinge of puissante bloode

"To curdle in our veines, and back repelle

"The genial flowings of the human harte,

"Why not an humbler current be instilled

"To cheque th' ensanguined maladie of pride?—

"I feare me I'd a mother but per-chaunce,

"And not by any of those tender lawes

"With which so closelie Nature doth unite

"Her smiling progenie!—To me you've talked

"So vainlie of the honours of our house,

"That now by modestie, each peasant hutte

"Approves itself the sweeter habitation!—

"Oh, can you wonder, then, if, from false pompe,

"Fruitful to me of miserie alone,

"I sought life's quietude in simpler scenes,

"And found it in an humble husbande's armes?"

PAGE 89.—GENUINE.

FIFTY-SIXTH DAY's TRIAL.

CCXXXII.—EARL OF OXF—D.

"By this right hande of Mortimer, my Lordes,

"They did this proteste of mine harte purloine,

"Which the sublimer judgement of mine head,

"'Mid night's thicke lucubrations had compounded!

"'Tis not but I the feate might reatchieve

"In caballistique symbolles, fitting well

"My state perturbed: but again to view

"Of Cambrian whiskers such a prowling paire,

"Scenting it here instincktivelie around,

"To filch my treasure from our upper shelfe,

"As 'twere a fragment vile of mouldied cheese—

"The lordlie pride, and prudence of my house,

"Can never stomache to digestion!

PAGE 64.—GENUIN•…

CCXXXIII.—COUNTESS OF D—BY.

"Come! come! since you are now my wedded Lorde—you shall commande me as you please—I will refraine from laughter, though my poore sides do cracke themselves with the forbearance!—Then sans merriment, if these be their chiefe actresses, I marvel not that the service o'the State be managed so unprofitablie! The poore soules thinke, that if the bloode but riot noblie in their veines, they have no occasion for more witte, or plaine sense, than falls to the moderate share of a grey wild-goose! Howe such creatures played themselves into the statelie drama of the Courte, who could not earne clean strawe by their atchievings in a boarded barne, is past my finding out!—For my own poor parte, my Lorde, I will the Countesse so enacte, and weare mine ermined crownette with such thrift, that the insidious worlde shall find no spotte thereon, nor cause of faulte with him who kindlie placed it on a grateful browe!

PAGE 37.—GENUINE.

CCXXXIV.—MR. D—Y.

—"Enamoured of some or other of my rare qualities, his Highnesse dothe continue to loade me with his prime civilities!—Whether I am debitor for all this to my witte, or that portion of witte's master piece my pocket dothe containe, I wotte not!—But yester morn he did my countenance resemble to the Sunne, which had journied roseilie from the Easte to his full at noone day: and the self-same eve he bade me sitte familiarlie by his side, to talke of friendlie loanes, and such like courtesies.—Marry, there be those of my acquaintance, who, envious of these honours, would blight their future harvesting; but I heede them not, though one sarcasticallie says, that ‘'everie dogge hath his day!'’—and another, ‘'that I Thomas Day, shale soone bid my monies a goode night!"’

PAGE 14.—Not GENUINE.

CCXXXV.—Hon. Mrs. STR—F—D.

"Sad rendings do betide that widowed harte,

"Whose girlish panting after wedded blisse,

"Did in its extacie so earlie raise

"Twinne beauties to dispute her sov'rain sway!

"Now by the side of cold neglecte I sitte,

"And see by slowe, but torturing degrees

"The luscious homage of adoring eyes,

"By parricidal artes thus wrested from me!"

PAGE 100.—Not GENUINE.

FIFTY-EIGHTH DAY's TRIAL.

CCXXXVI.—Mr. Sec. R—SE.

"Upon my honour, Sirs, I am condemned most unjustlie!—As a serving man o'the State, I have drudged too harde for scantie pickings, to be thus hardilie entreated.—To no one breathinge owe I aught on the score of friendshippe, or goode-wille—yet doe they cause hue and crie against me, as though I were the worlde's defaulter!—Nay, since the regalle treasurie hath somewhat runne to waste, mennes eyes inquisitivelie do search, as if the losse were to be found beneathe my humble goodes, and chatels; when ‘"I can take my God to witnesse, (and he will come along with me) that I am as poore a creature as any in his Highnesse' realme!"’

PAGE 10.—GENUINE.

No. CCXXXVII.—Lady B—ME.

"Come, come, my higher titled sisters, now are you too elate: her Grace, our husbande-hunting Mother, has exercised her wittes in 'vantage for us all; and, though she caughte no unfledged Duke for me, she hathe at least a nestlinge Marquisse ta'en, with which my little harte's content!—She tells me, both his eyes are fashioned out of briliantes from the Easte, and that the reste of this my dea•er selfe, is formed of precious jewelrie throughout!—If it be so, looke lasses to't, or my gay sparke may your's yet outshine, and I, his bonnie BROOME, sweepe a proude traine before you!"

PAGE 16.—Not GENUINE.

No. CCXXXVIII.—Sir THOMAS T—T—N.

—"I stopped me onlie, in Minceing-lane, for a contraband glasse of Carraway Comfitte, at the luscious hande of TURGO's sleeping partner, and the Varlette hath demanded of me, payment through the nose for this little lippe-full of simple compoundes!—He did alledge, that I had leakage given to a tierce of precious Coniaque, most choicelie brought to proofe; when, in veritie, we no more than shooke an ullage casque upon the lees between us! Troth I did proteste, by the first-blown honours of my Knighthoode, the allegation was not true; yet this retailer of sinful provocatives, called him forth twelve worldlie minded sottes, who charged me on their oathes usurious, five thousand Ducattes for this fancied waste of perisheable wares!"

PAGE 77.—Not GENUINE.

CCXXXIX.—Miss OG—LVIE.

— — "Rowena did not so;

"For while the vaine, and giddie of her sexe

"Strove emulouslie to deform, and blurre

"The fairer excellencies of the minde,

"She all its native dignitie uphelde

"By 'complishments in reason's schoole acquired,

"Making their cloathelesse beautie shrink abashed

"From merit, so by modestie arrayed!"

PAGE 114.—GENUINE.

FIFTY-NINETH DAY's TRIAL.

No. CCXL.—Earl SP—R.

"Fie on your salte-water fates, who, from his cradle arristocratique, did bemounte this lande-nursed Lorde upon the proudest courser of the maine, and bade him rule the headestrong quadrupedde by guidance of his taile!—Awhile he rode o'er Bisquay's troubled seas, until his senses with his seate he lost, then, floundering, ploughed the deepe! the pitying Mermaides flewe to his reliefe, and combed his tearefull lockes; while Neptune's selfe deridinglie look'd on, and cracked his coral-mailed sides with laughter!"

PAGE 87.—GENUINE.

No. CCXLI.—Lady C—LL.

—"Stirre thee betimes goode Blanche! and endite me unnumbered cardes of complimente, invitinglie devised! so shall we out-telle the visitants to Noah's arque, where all Godde's animals of kindes distinguished did congregate in paires! Nay, we may boaste perchance, more tongues than did the builders of proud Babel's tower confounde! Sacque-possets let me have enow; and bid, that lemmon-waters flowe in plentie rounde our dates, on cupboardes daintilie be-dight! Thus shall the Dames of common men in envie learne, that they have neither meanes, nor manners to convoke like me assemblage of the greate!"

PAGE 10.—GENUINE.

No. CCXLII.—Mr. B—RW—L.

—"Laugh, and it so please you, my merrie masters; but true it is, that I was broiled for yeares beneath the radiance of a burning sunne, that my constitution might be warmed also, through a body so bepeppered by plannettarie influence?—Thus did I begette countless lacques of pagodas, that my fraile flesh might lacke nought to luste after in its mortal declension!—And now, quitting the hauntes of men, I have established a free warren for 'tother gender, where a single skutte i' the forest is not touched without privie leave of me, the sole Lorde-paramount! so that if any slie puppie among you be found running by the nose,—as licensed keeper of mine own game, I shall rate the lurcher from his queste, with simple losse of taile!"

PAGE 67.—GENUINE.

No. CCXLIII.—Lady D—CRE.

'No morne, or eve, when twilight calmlie rules,

"But Elda mantled in her sable stole,

"Walkes forthe to seeke deathe's consecrated shade.

"There on the monumental buste she leanes,

"And, 'mid her only luxurie in woe,

"Reades virtues appertaininge to her Lorde,

"Which the cold hande of sculpture could not trace,

"So left for purer recorde on her minde!"

PAGE 20.—GENUINE.

FORTIETH DAY's TRIAL.

CCXLIV.—Lord GR—NV—LE.

"Why doe the hungrie knaves begrudge me the common crumbes of comforte, which appertaine unto my table of estate? Those abroad, raile at me in the markettable style of Byllingsgate, because forsoothe I am daily purveyor of mine own coddes heade; while others on the opponent side of our own noble chamber, do invidiouslie hint, that with our illustrious house, it is all fishe (particularly plaice) that comes into our nette!"—In veritie we somewhat trafficke in that commoditie; for while our brother of Buckingham dothe retaile his finnie race by the [*] inch superficial, I, in wholesale, buy me lumping pennieworths by the pounde avoirdupoise!

PAGE 12.—GENUINE.

CCXLV.—Lady H—L—D.

"At her first enlaunchement, she was as trim a barque as ever floated on Love's billow! but her head-strong pilotte, clapping his helm too hard a weather, when she was light of ballast, the vessel was upsette, and soon drifted, sans reckoning or compasse, to a neighbouring Coaste, where, liberated from British Vassalage, she did become a leakie droit of Batavian Hollande!"

PAGE 35.—Not GENUINE.

CCXLVI.—Capt. M—R—CE.

—"Caparisoned in a motley jacquet with qualitie binding, he became a Maurice dancer, surmounted with cappe and bells, which he jingled to the tune of other mens follie! Thus pranced he into goodlie dinners in jig-time; and, for his night's repast, that picked he up merrilie, by chaunting to unhallowed mindes the vespers of lascivious intoxication!"

PAGE 16.—Not GENUINE.

CCXLVII.—Lady H—W—RD de W—LD—N.

—"Within the sepulchre of her deade Lorde,

"Deeplie she hathe entombed her harte's best love,

"Keeping alone the blissful hope alive

"Of soone replighting it in realmes above!

"Meanwhile, the cold abodes of povertie

"She seekes, and there with pious hande deals out

"Her meede of Christian Charitie to all around!"

PAGE 4.—GENUINE.

FORTY-FIRST DAY's TRIAL.

CCXLVIII.—Prince WILLIAM of G—.

—"Since your half-witted knaves do bemeasure man's reasonable faculties by the narrowe circumference of his waiste-band, I see not how a Princelie soldier now a daies is to passe muster!—For my own parte, I can wooe sighingly with most gallantes, and couch my lance, though full caparisoned, i' the tented fielde.—Let the Knight Errant who can atchieve more heroicallie, enter the listes, and he please, before me!"

PAGE 76.—Not GENUINE.

CCXLIX.—Mrs. BR—D—D.

—"Come, come, Bud! let not you and I disturb our sillie pates about such trifles!—Where is the benefitte of golde, unless, like the genial aire of heaven, it hathe most free circulation? or of mansions huge with their appurtenances, if not with occupation free?—True, as you say, by courtesie right conjugale, you are my Lorde and Master;—but you did always tell your friendes that you were their obedient servant: therefore have I, on our special nights of festival, ta'en care that you should not befalsifie your worde!—You do forget, that I, just out of dadeing-strings, in softest dalliance did allow great girles to be bemodelled after the likenesse of your own harte's delighte, and which are now so multiplied, that the sound of grand-damme echoes through my ears, before, in nature's course, I've ceased to be a mother!—Nay, dearest chuck, you owe me many kindnesses for this—indeed you do!"

PAGE 1.—Not GENUINE.

CCL.—Mr. H—ST—GS.

"The man of spleene, high-gifted as he rose,

"Who, through my wounded honour sought my life,

"Has paid the debt of nature thus before me!

"If e'er I turn towards his cold remains,

"'Twill be to breathe forgivenesse o'er a shrine

"Which Science hath so purelie consecrated!"

PAGE 18.—GENUINE.

CCLI.—Mrs. ST—T.

—"Last eve, in Abbotte's lane,

"Where spectred suicides have groaned their laste,

"An haggarde sorc'resse crosst me on the way,

"And wildlie ask'd me, if I had not borne

"A faire, and daintie daughter?—Sans reply—

"Flie hence!" quothe she,—"a mother be agen,

"Nor longer leave upon the whirlpoole's brinke

"A child that follow'd thine own steppes astray;"—

"Then bade me viewe a raven high in aire,

"Which bore my destinie on sable wing!—

"I, smiling, tosst some monie in her lappe

"As fortune carelesslie had done by me,

"And left the wretche, unsatisfied, behind!"

PAGE 100.—GENUINE.

FORTY-SECOND DAY's TRIAL.

CCLII. Rear-Admiral Sir HORATIO N—LS—N, K. B.

"Pshawe, Tubert! why, I tell thee that this man of warre, like the fire-basqueing Salamander, cannot live but within the rake of your red-hotte shotte, and other mortal conflagrationes! nay, in admiration of their leader's appetite, his mariners doe grumble, unless they have one warm meale a daie of this diette, which would give our ordinarie stomaches the harteburn!"

PAGE 77.—GENUINE.

CCLIII. Mrs. C—MPB—L, ci-devant Miss W—LL—S.

—"I doe marvelle, now the honied moone hath done to shine, if the same starre of lowlie modestie will swaie Alberta's course, as it was wont! That she did be-catch herself this golden plumed sparke, by the arte magique of counterfeit resemblinges, no one can in veritie denie;—so shall it soon be seene, whether she hath the witte to holde him now in undisguise, or, in her self-defence, must enacte it with this same fancie bird, to the very end o' the chapter!"

PAGE 38.—Not GENUINE.

CCLIV.—Mr. FR—NC—S.

—"If a manne's politie, which hath stoode the burning shame of various climes, is to be trammelled up by the vulgar ligatures of your jurisprudence common, at home,—then are our liberties fittinge for little more than bandes to tie up dried provender for state cattle!—Sir, I had fairlie entrapped me some scores of Glocestershire wights, and intended to have fed the hungrie knaves with the pareings of their single cheese; but that fierle mountaineer o' the lawe, with a Welsh leeke in his bonnette, enloosed these pressers of curdes and whey, and then threw slander o'er my faire fame, as thick as their own Tewkesburie mustarde!"

PAGE 44.—Not GENUINE.

CCLV.—Hon. Miss BL—GH.

—"I doe begin to thinke me, sister Blanche,

"That womane's charmes, which Fortune hathe not graced,

"Like the lighte meteors of a summer's skie,

"Attracte the momentarie gaze of menne,

"Scarcelie awhile their short-lived colours last!—

"For meagre vanitie but thus skinne-deepe,

"Let us no longer trifle with our glasse,

"But turne it to the features of the minde,

"And see if any hidden beautie there

"Hathe claime to be reflected?"—

PAGE 114.—GENUINE.

FORTY-THIRD DAY's TRIAL.

CCLVI.—SIR LIONEL D—L.

—"His Highnesse, in his marvellous condescension, did entreat himselfe to dine with me, but on stipulation positive, that nothing feminine should grace our boarde:—assenting thereunto, I have unwiselie embroiled myself with certain of mine own householde; for my Ladie Wyfe, who delighteth in true courtesie, dothe so lamente this losse of the smile princelie, that she hathe forbidden me to feede a royalle fowle thus privilie again, on peril of being hen-pecked for the remnant of my daies!"

PAGE 13.—Not GENUINE.

CCLVII.—MISS ANG—SH.

—"I praie you, tell me the use of your dignified alliances, if we are not allowed to make our dailie boaste of them? Since it hath pleased that capricious jade, Fortune, to trundle a ducalle crownette over our lowlie thresholde, I have rantipolled it fashionablie with the best of them! and my tongue, which had ever a musical propensitie to repetitions, hathe caught the dulcet air of nobilitie so trulie, that it can chaunte you no other praises now but of her Grace, my dear be-Duchessed sister!"

PAGE 77.—GENUINE.

CCLVIII.—SIR CHARLES F— R—DCL—FE.

—"A plague on that commoditie of good-humour, which, coming in simple contacte with a goode digestion, hathe swolen up Barbolto to the full size of carnal enormitie!—Why, the waistband of his lower garment hath dilated so hugelie, that tailors cannot encompasse him with thrice stitched parchments! and so faste doth he picke up stones averdupoize, that hack-horses do shye at him more than a sacke of ground midlings!—Marry, and he thus goes on, but all God's carrying creatures, male and female, will dread the mightie pressure of his bestrideing!"

PAGE 100.—GENUINE.

CCLIX.—COUNTESS OF SH—FTSB—Y.

"If, in our teenes, a sillie, wayward harte

"Hathe prematurelie pledged its maiden vowe,

"Frailtie, the chartered shielde of our weak sexe,

"Must pennance it away!—Who can disclaime

"Due hommage by a noble suitor sworne,

"When with soft titled kisses seal'd? And yet,

"The vaine illusive dreame no sooner o'er,

"And Fortune paced her guileful footesteppes back,

"Than all her wedded votaries appeare

"Of Hope's faire fancie-woven vests unrobed,

"Like spiders foil'd in their dismantled Webbe!"

PAGE 1.—Not GENUINE.

FORTY-FOURTH DAY's TRIAL.

CCLX.—SIR J. ANSTR—R.

—"Had I not been a judge of capilliarie jurisprudence, they had compelled me on board shippe, without my wigge judicial, or even the state dower of my now Ladie wyfe right legallie guaranteed!—I doe marvelle, how our Magi o' the Easte are to be personified, unless in full pontificalibus!—‘'Marry, Sirs,'’ quothe I, ‘'but my fage temples shall be well secured from mortal inquisition, and the purlieu of my bodie incorporeal, amplified by circumvallations of ermined tabbie, or I depart not from his Liege's presence!'’—Thus have they at length equipped me—and now may they reasonablie looke for knottie pointes of serviceable hardihoode, of which the Medes, and Persians never dreamt of yore!"

PAGE 77.—GENUINE.

CCLXI.—MRS. BR—DY—L.

—"Thus mine harte's dear prodigalle

"From Syren harlottrie I have restored

"To recognition true of my poore charmes,

"Which he, like truant boy, did abdicate!

"Our gordian knotte now nuptiallie re-twined,

"Oh marvelle not, my girles, if it should chaunce

"Within the circling course of nine bright moones,

"Your lovelie sisterhoode may owe increase

"To Nature's new atchieveings!"

PAGE 20.—GENUINE.

CCLXII.—ADMIRAL LORD H—D.

—"Mark that rough Seaman passing by, whose yeares shed lustre on a gallant browe!—To scourge the enemie around the globe, was not enough for him, until, by conflagration of their fleetes, he did illume the faire, and smiling face of Victorie!—Say, Mervolt, do not honours thus so noblie earned, right well be-grace him?"

PAGE 18.—GENUINE.

CCLXIII.—MARCHIONESS OF B—K—G—M.

—"Oh she dothe holde

"Your minceing dames of qualitie so cheape,

"As scarce to deeme the best her quatre cousins!

"How oft, by matron modestie impelled,

"Laies she with winning grace, her crownette by,

"To add an humbler virtue to that store

"Which dothe her modest Temple best adorn!"

PAGE 99.—GENUINE.

FORTY-FIFTH DAY's TRIAL.

CCLXIV.—ADMIRAL LORD D—NC—N.

"If that be not a man of stature high

"In deedes of valour, as in mien—no more

"I'll trust this intellectual eye of mine

"To pick me out a hardie-moulded Britton!—

"Upon Batavia's danke, and sullen coaste,

"I sawe his weather-beaten pennants flie,

"Taunting their sluggish barques to battel!

"At length in ruethful moment gave they saile,

"And at their verie thresholde met their fate!—

"The dreadful worke of nations thus performed,

"Soon did the furie of his front subside;

"And when their Chieftain's banner graced his feete,

"A sigh of sympathie came sweetlie forthe,

"Presage of something nobler still, when all

"The bitterness of wrathe was done away!"

PAGE 100.—GENUINE.

CCLXV.—COUNTESS DOWAGER OF M—NSF—D.

"Pooh—pooh! Tubert,—she'll have her full swing, unless the rope of dalliance breake—or nought knowe I of woman's gambolles!—Marrie, man, why you can no more keep a Flandriken dame of qualitie from a second snap carnalle, than a pedlar's pad from another quarterne and penn'worth, when in manger sette before him! tie them up as tightlie as you please, and both shall slippe their halter, for the liquorish provender their appetite delightes in!"

PAGE 33.—Not GENUINE.

CCLXVI.—SIR CH. B—NB—Y.

—"Oh! he's the sportinge Sir, who, in the hey-daie of his youthfulle bloode, did race it o'er Tartarian plains with flyinge Arrabs, and left their whiskers distances behinde!—Nexte run he riotte through all the looser petticoates of Salamanca.—But now, forsoothe, he quests it soberlie on foote, to cull out dainties for his bedde and boarde! and, for the matter of that, they are not thrown away on him, who hath a dispensing hand, well fashioned to subdue the pressing wantes of others!"

PAGE 20.—GENUINE.

CCLXVII.—DUCHESS OF L—DS.

"If Nature, with a scantie-dealing hande,

"Hathe deckt few witcheries my features rounde,

"At least I owe her for that Syrenne voice

"With which she did possesse me:—'tis on this

"That Arte dothe plaie her modulating powers,

"And woman, by its magique mynstrelsie,

"Allure man's ear, and bend its raptur'd sense

"In sweete accordance to her will.

"Thus can she turn the mirror of the State,

"And by reflected greatness be ennobled!"

PAGE 3.—GENUINE.

SIXTY-SIXTH DAY's TRIAL.

CCLXVIII.—ALDERMAN AND—RS—N, LORD M—Y—R.

—"Stand you by, my brother Cittes, and, as in dutie bounde, give to this golden chaine of mine it's reverend precedence!—Know you not that I'm a Man of State, on this faire side the Templar's barre, since I did escort our Sov'rain safelie to, and fro! In soothe, his Liege hath hinted to me, through a whisper o' the Courte, that it is his royal wille, I shall in future bear a bloodie palm, to keep my nasal dignitie in countenance!—Marry, Sirs, thus shall I be empowered, by virtue of mine own bodie corporate, to give issue from these loines, which may, in better times, looke even Courtiers in the face without abashment!"

PAGE 22.—GENUINE.

CCLXIX.—HON. MISS D—NC—N.

—"Beshrewe me, Coz! but I am ignorant, for which of my tall properties I have so hugelie grown in man's esteeme!—I am most wonderfullie bevisitted of late by gaie gallants, who tender me their harte's best suite and service; yet talk they little more to me, than of my father's deedes in armes; so that I do feare me, after all, I owe these sudden conquests more to his mightie valoure, than to my own poor feminine atchievings!"

PAGE 12.—Not GENUINE.

CCLXX.—SIR H— H—GHT—N.

—"Oh, he is a most steady Sir! one with most fixed principles who will sitte you for whole moones in the playing roome at the Bathe, like a piece of its own furniture immoveable!—Though chosen to the Senate, he obtrudes amongst them neither his opinions, nor his person: nay, he is a man of so few words, that he never said Aye in his whole life, till they did lead him t'other day blindfolded to the altarre!"

PAGE 36.—Not GENUINE.

CCLXXI.—HON. MISS K—NG.

"How sweete you flow'rette peered to meet the sunne,

"Ere it was baselie pluckt by that fell hande

"Which to its tender beauties owed protection?—

"But blighted now! behold it choak'd with weedes,

"Appurtenances sad of rooted woe!—

"These courts she not as types of murder'd fame,

"For it doth seeme to be in frantick griefe,

"Because the just, avenging hand of Heaven

"Hath reached her merciless despoiler!"—

PAGE 14.—GENUINE.

SIXTY-SEVENTH DAY's TRIAL.

CCLXXII.—LORD H—WKES—RY.

—"I met me on the Kinge's highwaye, a Tom Thumbe of a Lordeling, who did boaste of mightier deedes than those of Jack the slaughterer of Giantes! He told me he had vaulted the daie before with the man of Rhodes, and beaten him by a furlong at a single jumpe! He had just stepped into his nine-leagued bootes, and swore by the maidenheade of his nobilitie, that he would be at the capital of the Gauls and back again, before he broke his faste!"

PAGE 37.—GENUINE.

CCLXXIII.—LADY ANN N—TH.

"After a lapse of twentie virginne yeares,

"He hath my maiden matronhoode agen

"Assailed with vowes of never-altered love!

"Though all this live-long while he did endure

"The fretful yoke of a connubial life,

"Abatement of his passion find I none;

"So to this fierrie sparke my hande I yielde,

"And plight obeisance to his lordlie will."

PAGE 12.—Not GENUINE.

CCLXXIV.—MR. BRYAN ED—DS.

—"If a man having been blessed with Godfathers and Godmothers, be despoiled of his Christian name by those who rule us, what chaunce have we, my neighbours, in such times, to maintain the remnant of our birthrightes? Why, Sirs, they have employed their serving knaves o' th' press, to y'clep me by a beastlie name, denoting that I would daunce, and play you sillie antickes, under the cudgel of my leader! Nay, the very Oracle of our Assembly, forgetful of his nomenclatura, called me forth but t'other daie as Mr. Bruin, and thus did he provoke a most unseemlie roar of merriment at my expenditure!"

PAGE 22.—GENUINE.

CCLXXV.—MARCHIONESS OF H—RTF—D.

"'Tis not in sculptur'd stature, coldlie chaste,

"That ARESTINA towers above her sexe:

"The worlde dothe give her fame for shapeful form

"Well moulded for pre-eminence; but marke

"How in the plastique movement of each limbe,

"On everie charm-combining feature round,

"The animating soul of virtue breathes

"A grace that's intellectual!"

PAGE 38.—GENUINE.

SIXTY-EIGHTH DAY's TRIAL.

CCLXXVI.—LORD VISCOUNT H—REF—D.

"Adown in Brecon's rude, but fertile vale,

"One morn a noblie-gifted Sir I spied,

"Teaching obeisance to the stubborn soile!

"A yoke of milke-white oxen did fore-pace

"His steppes, awhile the pollish-breasted ploughe

"Traced furrowed lines beneath his skillful hand.

"Strait asked I of this man, who, in these daies,

"Dared give primaeval dignitie to scenes

"Of rustique caste?—They told me he was one

"Of Brittain's Peers!—Then mark me well, quoth I,

"The earthe, ennobled thus, soon to its Lorde,

"In plenteous stores, right gratefullie shall give

"Its honourable produce back!"

PAGE 44.—GENUINE.

CCLXXVII.—LADY ALMERIA C—RP—R.

—"They tell me I have not done amiss in bartering a littel of my woman's beautie, for a better portion of worldlie wisdome.—I would not have been hand-maiden to any housholde thus long, without knowing my why? and my wherefore?—However, in pure friendshippe to her Highnesse, I will continue cheerfullie to undertake those familie-affayres, for which her own infirmities do unfitte her, and leave it to the Duke to reckon on my deserts accordinglie!"

PAGE 18.—Not GENUINE.

CCLXXVIII.—MR. M—CN—M—A, [of Streatham.]

—"The wagges o' the Courte would insinuate against me, that mine is the House of Calle for politique confederation: moreover, that I do retaile oute state projects at the tippling sign of the Irishe Piper! Truth it is, that I put good cheere before my guests; but if there be any treason among 'em, it must be found in their owne wittes, and not in M'Nab's old wine!—That some of their midnight deedes have savoured of darknesse, I cannot well denie; but that, indeed, was onlie after quaffing so incontinentlie, that they could not see!"

PAGE 7.—GENUINE.

CCLXXIX.—LADY ST. AS—PH.

"That is the second flowerette which her Lorde

"Connubiallie hath culled out.—The first,

"Though sweete in budde, did wither on his breast,

"Ere it had reached its bloome!—But now, in soothe,

"Hath he selected, from a Northern clime,

"With fairer hope that time will here mature

"His harte's amended choice!"—

PAGE 34.—GENUINE.

SIXTY-NINTH DAY's TRIAL.

CCLXXX.—LORD C—WD—R.

"I do appeale me to your Council's boarde,

"And aske redress of honour-wounding wronges.

"You did not make me Cawdor's titled Lorde,

"To see me truckle to a Cambrian Thane.

"Remember, Sire, in daies of peril past,

"I met upon our beach th'insulting Gauls,

"And for the oares they quitted, gave them chaines!

"For this, and such like services of state,

"I do expect supremacie of power,

"Within this scantie limit of our Isle;

"Or that the miserable moietie I hold

"Be taken back, in noveltie to grace

"Some lowlie Chiefe, on whose quiescent minde

"Divided rule may sit at ease!"—

PAGE 77.—Not GENUINE.

CCLXXXI.—LADY — T—YL—R.

"When I was sick at harte, I found, like Deathe,

"That Love did all distinctions levell!—Oh! then

"My equalizing soule, true to its source,

"Sigh'd not for ostentatious aid—but bade

"That her own Doctor Nature should call in.

"He coldlie did approach my restlesse couch,

"But found my feverous pulse beat quick and high;

"Still he insensiblie my case mistooke,

"Although my crimsoned visage spoke it clear,

"Until perforce I told him where it lay,

"And how to medicine its onlie cure!"

PAGE 48.—GENUINE.

CCLXXXII—DR. L—WR—CE.

—"I did betake me, t' other morn, to Father L—wr—ce, a Soothe-sayer, and grave Oracle o' the Arches, one who dothe retaile you civille lawe, and politiques most villainoussie compounded!—I found him in learned tribulation, having just escaped the COMMONS not Doctorial, where, being far from home, he did make it a dubitable question with his own pericranium, whether he had risen by his heade, or on his feete?—The wagges had laughed incontinentlie at his confusion, and told his Reverence to his bearde, that he had been assessing his five senses quintuplie, without levying from thence one graine of common understanding!"

PAGE 104.—GENUINE.

CCLXXXIII.—MRS. SCR—PE.

—"In soothe, good Nurse, 'tis hard

"That I, who sought a Husbande's fonder armes,

"Soon as I quitted your's, am now of both

"Bereft!—The gapeing eyes of other men

"Still speak me somewhat more than passing faire,

"Which my own mirror proudlie doth reflect:

"And yet my wedded harte, just in its teenes,

"Is now divorced, and its first plighted love

"Cast in its infancie away!"

PAGE 45.—Not GENUINE.

SEVENTIETH DAY's TRIAL.

CCLXXXIV.—BISHOP OF D—M.

"You aske me, Ladie, how my frame could feel

"The shock of magique wantonness so far?

"Your interrogatorie thus I solve—

"In my minde's scopefull eye I viewed the daunce,

"Where, on the optique nerve of mortal sense

"It spread lewd gesticulations wide!

"In blaunched lawne though man be purelie robed,

"Yet hathe the boundless will of Heaven ordained

"It should begirt rebellious fleshe and bloode!

"How then, I praie you, Madam, so endued,

"These maddening fantasies can Nature bear

"To flash across her poore, distempered braine,

"And keepe frail manhoode in subjection?"

PAGE 18.—Not GENUINE.

CCLXXXV.—COUNTESS OF C—RK.

—"No—no, my Lorde!

"My woman's wille must be your sov'rain lawe,

"Though at the altar's base my tongue did plight

"Obedience, 'twas but a weake, fleeting vow,

"Which after-thought was bound to remedie.

"Here then, imperiouslie, I do demand

"(In sure avoidance of domestique strife),

"Through all this life's concerns pertaining you,

"Due vassalage!—holding in fiefe of me

"Your crownette,—and your sworde!"

PAGE 77.—GENUINE.

CCLXXXVI.—EARL OF C—RD—N.

—"If my Ladie Wyfe be not overgone these eighteen moones with son and heire of mine owne begetting, then know I nought of the net proceeds of noble manhoode!—Why, Sir, but t'other night, in my repose—(but mark, 'tis entre nous),—the littel sightless rogue did fairlie kick his much delighted sire, in place I dare not nominate:—taking the hint, no sooner came the morn, than I did hie me forth, and, with his cradle, bought me up rich swaddling cloathes in plentie, to await the time of his forthcoming!"

PAGE 80.—GENUINE.

CCLXXXVII.—LADY C—H—R.

—"I was beguiled

"To cut those flowing tresses from my necke,

"Which men so much admired; and now they say,

"That I have banished from their wanton home

"The littel Loves, which used to ambush there!

"Surelie I am not thus of beautie shorne,

"(As man of yore was of his mortal strength!)

"Doomed to recline my faire dejected head,

"Like flowrette faire most prematurelie cropt!"

PAGE 37.—GENUINE.

SEVENTY-FIRST DAY's TRIAL.

CCLXXXVIII.—VICE-ADMIRAL C—LP—YS.

—"Give me a Tarre, who serves his countrie trulie, and without much imparlance; so that, when an enemie doth holde disputation with him, he answereth in repartee, and cuts off his chaine of argument by a quick exchange of chaine-shotte!—I knew a salt-water Chief of this stampe, who silenced the mutinie of his shippe by the same splice of eloquence, and for which his Sov'rain, in admiration of the deede, did command him to display the Red Flag at his own gallant main!"

PAGE 13.—GENUINE.

CCLXXXIX.—COUNTESS OF H—RC—T.

—"I pray thee, Spaldo, give not thy tongue propensitie to courtlie slander.—That Ladie is the prime-moveable feminine about the Queene's person, which may account for its haveing been handled, in time of yore, rather freelie.—It argueth marvellous greatness for one noblie bred, to be able in her spleene, to descant boldlie on Royal weaknesses; and when the fit of obsequience doth return, to bend, and licke the very duste beneath her Highnesse's sandals!—Marry, knave, to be in perfect tune with the times, one must have an alarum, that will ring you all the changes o' the State, from the treble key of sycophancie, down to the lower basse of courtlie discontent!—"

PAGE 88.—Not GENUINE.

CCXC.—SIR FRANCIS B—D—TT.

—"Should this whimsical Knight have sworne to urge perpetual strife with nature, he will keepe his worde!—Why, Sir, he can combatte with all the spiteful elements, one after t'other, in their bitterest wrath, and laugh at his own discomfiture: nay, he will now lick redde fierrie barrs of iron, till his tongue growe hissing hotte, and then mount upon tavern benches, and make you flameing declamations! Heaven, in its waste of bountie, did bestowe upon his heade a liberal covering of haire, but he hath displaced it even to the nodde of his necke, that none of it might stand i' the way of his political exaltation!"

PAGE 4.—GENUINE.

CCXCI.—COUNTESS OF B—KL—Y.

—"Is it not passing strange,

"That from the teeming braine of one demure,

"A progenie so great should issue forth

"To claim pre-eminence?—How 'twas contrived

"In l•stful privitie to gender thus,

"And procreate,—mankind do marvel much!

"But mark forsooth—the blush of shame gone out

"In the faire face of an astonished worlde,

"Her little dark•ings she doth now array,

"Rich in the trappings of their father's house,

"To try how such usurpings will befitte

"The dormant pri•e of Tudor's outcast race!"

PAGE 36.—GENUINE.

SEVENTY-SECOND DAY's TRIAL.

CCXCII.—BISHOP OF W—CH—R.

—"Nay, nay, goode brother Abbotte—by the masse; but we are all of the Church Militant,—and therefore bound by the cannon, to fighte, as well as praie! I am not for letting our common clothe go forth to wage our battles of defence, and not budge a single inch ourselves, although we piouslie commend the Lord of Hosies to war upon their side:—Do ye all as best belikes your reverend phantasies—but, for mine own part, I'll not be knocked o' the head, like a lewd goate kneelinglie—that's poz!!"

PAGE 33.—Not GENUINE.

CCXCIII.—LADY E. E. FITZG—LD.

"Come, Geraldine, 'tis meet we hie to Courte,

"And there our virgin fealtie displaye.

"What 'though a shoote hath wildlie took its course,

"And from the stem it has disgraced, been torn;—

"A pair of hartes they shall in us behold

"Chaste in their loyaltie, as in their love!"

PAGE 6.—GENUINE.

CCXCIV.—LORD M—NTO.

"About apostacie go tell the windes!—

"To the State's vantage, rightlie held supreme,

"All earthlie peccadilloes must give way.—

"Have I not crowne, and glittering sceptre gained,

"To chafe those temples which, in soothe I found

"Most heavilie en-diadem'd before?

"While on mine own obedient heade I placed

"Nought but a feathered cappe, with prettie belles,

"On which man's vanitie may one day ring

"Its own dumb peale of courtlie triumph!"

PAGE 7.—GENUINE.

CCXCV.—LADY CON—GH—M.

"A monied scrivener was her thriftie sire,

"Whose dame did lustilie repaie him back

"Full compounde interest of wedded love!

"Hence doth Alberta all her sexe o'ertoppe

"In statured height, as well as peerlesse charmes,

"Boasting no source from that puissante bloode,

"Which, with a scurvied arrogancie taintes

"Some of the proudest skinnes within our isle!"

PAGE 66.—GENUINE.

SEVENTY-THIRD DAY's TRIAL.

CCXCVI.—Rev. DR. [Anti-Sejanus] SC—T.

—"If your holie Soothsayers, are with their grey haires, to be revisitted by the politique sinnes of their youthe, then will annointed men be placed in purgatorie everlasting!—But t'other Sabbathe, when I was propounding passive obedience to the goode housewives of that piscatorie towne called Scarborough, came there a Capittaine of a militarie cohort, who did drawe from me my faire congregation by the sound of trumpette, blown at the very doore of the tabernacle!—I did appeale me to my countrie's lawes for this offence against the statutes divine; when the Jurors for our Sov'rain Lorde the King, in lack of reverence for the Churche, awarded me but a cracked teaster for so abominable a waste of reputation cleriqual!"

PAGE 77.—Not GENUINE.

CCXCVII.—LADY L—GHB—GH.

—"Remember, Sirs,

"'Tis not a wordie warfare you've to wage,

"Nor, by the varying flippancie of tongue

"To victorie must you aspire!—Behold,

"And on the spottlesse bannerette record

"Deedes worthie of faire Science, and her sonnes!

"It hathe been hallowed at the altar's base,

"And from my feeble handes, in pur•st faithe,

"Now doth it emulouslie passe to your's,

"That all which woman's loyaltie can hope

"By manlie fortitude may be atchiev'd!

PAGE 78.—GENUINE.

CCXCVIII.—LADY EDWARD FITZG—LD.

"Why must my wayward destinie be writ

"In hideous scrolls by goutes of kindred bloode!—

"Scarce had I worn the ensanguined horrors out

"Of a reputed Sire's too rutheful fate,

"Than the last threade of life was torn in twain,

"By fond affection given as a staye,

"On which one hope might perilouslie hang!"

PAGE 88.—GENUINE.

CCXCIX.—MR. HENRY AD—NGT—N.

—"Since I am reputed Wit-cracker to the Prime Ruler o' the realm, he must right honourablie let me pouch a little o' the State-kernel, else shall I make the beardes of his Courtiers wagge, to the miserable tune of mine own improvidence!"

PAGE 33.—GENUINE.

Notes

*
Mr. MALONE remarks, though on what authority is not declared, that these are punnistical allusions of the immortal Bard, to the VIRGIN NAME of the fair LADY, and the retail occupation of her SIRE, a worthy resident in those days of LOWER THAMES-STREET.
↵

*
Mr. MALONE remarks, though on what authority is not declared, that these are punnistical allusions of the immortal Bard, to the VIRGIN NAME of the fair LADY, and the retail occupation of her SIRE, a worthy resident in those days of LOWER THAMES-STREET.
↵

*
Alluding to one of this distinguished family selling the Carp of GOSFIELLD Park Ponds in Essex, by this scanty admeasurement, long subsequent to the days of good QUEEN BESS!
↵

Information about this book

Title statement

Passages selected by distinguished personages: on the great literary trial of Vortigern and Rowena; a comi-tragedy. ... [pt.3]

Dudley, H. Bate, Sir (Henry Bate), 1745-1824.

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ID [ota]

http://ota.ox.ac.uk/id/5231

ID [isbn10]

1106022300

ID [isbn13]

9781106022301

ID [TCP]

K109093.003

ID [BIBNO]

CW3312427853

ID [ECLL]

0433900403

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Source

— Passages selected by distinguished personages: on the great literary trial of Vortigern and Rowena; a comi-tragedy. ..., Dudley, H. Bate, Sir (Henry Bate), 1745-1824., Dudley, Mary Bate.. Fourth edition.. v.3-4 ; 8⁰. London :: printed by H. Brown, for J. Ridgway,. [1798?]. [Anonymous. By Sir Henry Bate Dudley and Mary Dudley, his wife.] [A satire on the leading public characters of the day in a series of passages professing to be quotations from William Ireland's play; it originally appeared from time to time in the 'Morning herald' and was written by Dudley and his wife (D.N.B.).] [Preface to vol. 3 dated: "Die Martis 11⁰, 1798.".] [Volume 4 without an edition statement.] [Reproduction of original from the British Library.] [English Short Title Catalog, ESTCT138277.] [Electronic data. Farmington Hills, Mich. : Thomson Gale, 2003. Page image (PNG). Digitized image of the microfilm version produced in Woodbridge, CT by Research Publications, 1982-2002 (later known as Primary Source Microfilm, an imprint of the Gale Group).]

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