A trip to the moon: Containing an account of the island of Noibla. Its inhabitants, religious and political customs, &c. By Sir Humphrey Lunatic, Bart.

Table of contents

- [titlepage]

- [notice]

- Terms and Phrases of the NOIBLAN Lan guage, which occur in the following Ac count of the Island.

- CHAP. I.

- CHAP. II.

- CHAP. III.

- CHAP. IV.

- CHAP. V.

- CHAP. VI.

- CHAP. VII.

- CHAP. VIII.

- CHAP. IX.

A TRIP to the MOON.

The END of the FIRST VOLUME.

A TRIP to the MOON. Containing an Account of the ISLAND of NOIBLA. Its INHABITANTS, RELIGIOUS and POLITICAL CUSTOMS, &c.

By Sir HUMPHREY LUNATIC, Bart.

I am but mad North North-West; when the Wind blows Southerly I know a Hawk from a Hernshaw.
SHAKESPEAR.

YORK: Printed by A. WARD for S. CROWDER, in Pater-noster-Row; W. BRISTOW, in St. Paul's Church-Yard; J. PRIDDEN and W. GRIFFIN, in Fleet-street; G. BURNET, in the Strand; G. WOODFALL, at Charing-Cross; and J. JOHNSON, opposite the Monument, London; C. ETHERINGTON, in York; and W. CHARNLEY, in Newcastle upon Tyne, 1764.

WHEN ALEXANDER was consulted concerning a Successor to his Crown and Dignities, he replied, Let them be given to the WORTHIEST; on such a Principle, if any one can find a more eligible Patron for the following Work, the AUTHOR is willing to give up his own Choice of

ASHLEY COWPER, Esq

Terms and Phrases of the NOIBLAN Language, which occur in the following Account of the Island.

- NALSINA, a Mediator.

- SALMINA, a Temple.

- AVOZENS, Priests.

- RANEVERS, Vergers.

- SNERRUNETS, Servitors of the Temple.

- ECARUOCNE, a Religious Ceremony.

- NOTLAM, the Spring of Purification.

- ARESAL, a City.

- NAMREDAL, Father of a City.

- SENIRATS, Wards of a City.

- RUVENAL, a Square.

- REQUECEX, the House of Justice.

- SOLARMAN, the common Cryer.

- NODNOL, the Capital of NOIBLA.

- SNOISSAPANS, public Schools.

- NOITOCS, Masters of them.

- ASSELANS, Ushers.

- RAYAMON, a Year.

- REAPAN, a Month.

- TOIRTA, a Week.

- SILCAR, a Mile.

- NEROMA, a desolate Province.

- ERISHNOVER, the Mountains of Blood.

- OMYRCHAL, the Valley of Weeping.

- SEITNUOCS, Districts or Shires.

- ELKNITAN, the Bell of Noon.

- SELBATAZA, Dinner.

- AZONIA, an Aromatic Liquid.

- ELENGAL, Virtue.

- ESTRALAM, a Theatre.

- ZAMELA, the Plain of Modesty.

- NOIGLEVER GENVELA, be grateful to GOD.

- MALTRA ENUTHE, the Tree of Health.

- MAGINLEE NALSINA ELVERAN YURNE SEZIVED WAL PHAZAZ, remember that the Mediator sees your Thoughts as well as your Actions.

- BINEDA, OH NAMREDAL, TWANTO SELBEN TWANTASTEZ, temper, Oh Father, Justice with the Dew of Mercy.

- RETHO ESOL NA LENGALI, a Foe to Virtue.

- RETHO ETTIBEM ELBAL, an artful Wife.

- RETHO SLINTAT ELBAL, a tatling Wife.

- DOSEN ALOPU, Birds of the Garden.

- RETHO ESOL NA ITSEDOM, a Foe to Modesty.

- ELBIROS, weekly Inspectors.

- EFFILAR, ATROITA, proper Names.

CHAP. I.

Containing a short Account of Sir HUMPHREY's Predecessors, from the first BARONET of his Family.

THOUGH the following Piece is not of a Biographical Nature, the Author thinks it necessary to give some short Account of himself and his Family, that thereby forming a Kind of Acquaintance with his Readers, they may pursue their Journey together thro' the LUNAR WORLD with more Cordiality and Pleasure.

It is well known by those who have Skill in Heraldry, that the LUNATICS have been a considerable Family, ever since ENGLAND WAS ENGLAND; they have occasionally been at the Helm of State; they have nodded upon Wooll-Packs in Lawn Sleeves; they have dispensed Law from under Voluminous Wigs; they have ravaged Nations with Armies, and plowed the Deep with Fleets; in short, they have filled every Station in Life, from Princes to Coblers; from Duchesses to Chambermaids: To make a complete Detail of Genealogical Particulars, would be a Work of insufferable Prolixity and Ostentation; wherefore the AUTHOR will only revert to his Great Grandfather, the first BARONET of his Part of the Family; and proceed from him in a direct Line, without Regard to several other distinguished collateral Branches.

WHIMSICAL LUNATIC, Esq afterwards Sir WHIMSICAL, distinguished himself much by his Zeal in Favour of Royalty, at that Critical Period when the REPUBLICAN Party made such severe Attacks upon the weak and unfortunate FIRST CHARLES; nor did he, like the mercenary slaves of Interest, attach himself, till Rebellion had so far gained the Ascendant, that Hope was fluttering on its last Wing; not PERSIAN like, a Worshipper of the rising, but a faithful follower of the setting Sun; pursuing his Beams even into the profound Darkness that ensued, with a Spirit truly heroic he join'd the general Wreck, which depriv'd the Monarch of his Life, and himself, among many others, of his Estate.

Thus reduced, for some Time he comforted himself with the Opinion of CATO; that it is a necessary Compliment in every good Citizen to join the Ruin of his Country: However, Want of Money, which generally gives Time for Reflection, and adds Force to it, soon led him to entertain a different Notion of the prevailing Party; through the Optics of Necessity fresh Notions of Freedom entered his ever active Brain; Nonresistance and Passive Obedience, his darling Principles, vanished like Mists before the Sun, and a new Kind of Patriotism so enflamed him, that he commenced one of those public-spirited Orators, since disgraced by the Title of Fanatic Preachers.

Being possessed of great Volubility, Force of Expression, and Luxuriance of Fancy, he soon became highly distinguished in his New Capacity; and as Converts are generally most zealous against the Cause they have forsaken, he was esteemed so valuable an Acquisition, that CROMWELL caused his Estate to be restored, and had him elected a Member of his first PARLIAMENT; in which Situation he made a very considerable Figure: No one in the Debates commanded more Attention and Respect. Hence he might have been eminently advanced in the State; but, like a true LUNATIC, being fond of Opposition, and disdaining to run with the Stream long, he began to find Fault with the Conduct of Public Affairs; openly declaring, that the Plan of PLATO'S REPUBLIC, with some Alterations and Amendments of his own, would be the only sure Foundation for National Happiness.

His Objections to almost every Measure proposed, rendered him remarkably obnoxious within Doors, but made him popular without; however, as in those days the VOX POPULI was not esteemed the VOX DEI, he reaped no other Advantage from his hardy and anxious Endeavours, but some faint Gales of whispered Applause; for public Acclamations in Favour of laborious Patriots, were not then so common or so safe as they have been since.

Plumed up and animated with the Approbation of many as discontented as himself, he gave full Scope to his Zeal, without apparently waking the Dragon Power from his Slumbers, as his Keepers shrewdly foresaw that to lie in Wait for hot-brained Politicians is the surest Method of circumventing them: And even so it happened with the illustrious Personage here spoken of, who grew so extremely violent upon the Motion for constituting CROMWELL LORD PROTECTOR, which he said was only a softer Name for TYRANT, that his Fury knew no Bounds, but hurried him to such Lengths of general and personal Reflection, that he was not only expelled the House as a seditious Member, but was also put under legal Prosecution, and amerced with so heavy a Fine for Defamation, that his Estate could stretch little farther than to save him from a Prison.

Thus, once again sunk into the unhospitable and chilling Shade of Fortune, he had no Comfort left but the Uprightness of his own Heart, and some distant Hopes that Matters might yet take a more favourable Turn; which however did not happen till some short Time before CROMWELL'S Decease; when, a rich Relation dying, he obtained a Legacy that redeemed his Estate, and enabled him to appear in public with Respect; for Respect usually follows the Circumstances, and not the Qualifications of a Man.

At this Period, as if his Life had not been already sufficiently disturbed, he took it into his Head to marry a second Wife, his own House-keeper; who being raised to the Degree of Mistress, possessed of Youth without Prudence, and Beauty without Understanding, made such large Strides to arbitrary Power, that all her Husband's REPUBLICAN Principles could not stem the Torrent of her Pride and Extravagance. This domestic Concern kept him from meddling any further in Politics, than addressing his Life and Fortune, among the other good People of ENGLAND, to RICHARD CROMWELL, some Years Poverty having made him approve of the Office of PROTECTOR. However, upon hearing of CHARLES'S Approach, his Heart took such a Yearning towards the lawful Prince, and indefeasible hereditary Right flowed back upon him in such a Tide of Loyalty, that he was one of the foremost to transfer Allegiance from RICHARD to CHARLES; in Acknowledgment of which forward Zeal that good-humour'd, liberal Monarch created him a BARONET; intimating, at the same Time, a Design, when Affairs were entirely settled, of extending his Royal Bounty in a Manner more worthy his great Deservings.

But, alas! how vain, transitory, and delusive are human Expectations? How speedily does the ever-gaping Grave swallow up the air-built Fabrics of Imagination? Some few Nights after his new Dignity had been conferred upon him, the BARONET, while his heart was expanding with Joy at his Country's Felicity, sacrificed so profusely at the Shrine of BACCHUS, and swallowed so many Bumpers for the PUBLIC GOOD, that, falling asleep among some as much intoxicated as himself, he was, as is supposed, stifled, being found dead in his Chair by a Waiter. Thus—oh fatal and irreparable Chance!—died that great Man, who expired, as he had lived, in the Cause of old ENGLAND, a real and uniform LUNATIC.

As Impartiality is the very Essence of History, it shall be most carefully preserved upon this Occasion; wherefore, tho' Nature may plead to draw a Veil over the Failings of Ancestors, yet our Author cannot help acknowledging that Sir WHIMSICAL'S Successor deviated considerably from the Dignity of his Name and Family; for notwithstanding he had so bright an Example before him, to light him on his Way like another ARCADIAN STAR, and came to his Estate in a bustling Time, yet did he meanly betake himself to the Retirement of a Country Life, making the Improvement of his Fortune, the comfortable Settlement of his Tenants, a plentiful House, and half a Dozen sociable Neighbours, his chief Pleasure: However, this phlegmatic Cloud, as I may call him, upon the Glory of the LUNATICS, complaisantly retired in seven or eight Years, and made Way for Sir HUMPHREY, Father of the Author.

Here Family-Splendor again began to break forth; the young BARONET first distinguished himself eminently upon the famous Bill of Exclusion so boldly framed against JAMES Duke of YORK, afterwards King. During the short Reign of that obstinate Prince, he alternately supported Royal Prerogative and popular Liberty; so, being of both Sides, reaped Advantage from neither. He was not in the Association for inviting the Prince of ORANGE, yet joined him soon after his Arrival; notwithstanding which he was always one of the foremost to cramp that Monarch in the Operations of Government. The War of Queen ANNE he vehemently declared against; and, when the War was ended, was as vehement against the Peace of UTRECHT; just after which he died, expiring with this Wish, that the Authors of such a Peace might never enjoy Peace. In short, he was deeply concerned in the political Occurrences of five-and-thirty Years, fully inheriting the glorious Spirit of Opposition, and exerting it with such Effect, that he was the main Cause of removing a Dozen Ministers of State, most of whom he thought honest till in Office; but became convinced at last, by repeated Experience, that if at any Time PLACE-HUNTERS do act upon just Principles and are uncorrupt, their Virtue can only be compared to that of those Women, who are chaste for want of Temptation or Opportunity.

Our AUTHOR was, at the Time of his Father's Decease, but twelve Years old; and, by his Will, put under the Guardianship of a Person, who had strict Charge to inspire him with the Love of some occult Science which might render him famous: Accordingly, his Genius being consulted, Astronomy was fixed upon, in which he made an astonishing Progress; but as he is still alive, and an Actor on this great Stage of Life, we shall leave his Character and Portrait to a future Day, that we may not incur the Charge of Flattery or Malice, by pointing out Beauties or Defects.

Be it sufficient then to remark, that the present Sir HUMPHREY, tho' intimately acquainted with all Political Concerns, tho' a faithful Representative of his Constituents, yet has taken a different Method to the immortalizing his Name, and embalming it for Posterity; viewing terrestrial Concerns, where scarce any Thing but Self-Love, and its Train of sordid Consequences, prevails, but as secondary Points of Care to a wise Man. He has studiously traversed the whole Planetary System; and tho' some worldly Grubs may look on him as a mere Stargazer, the following Account of his TRIP TO THE MOON will show that he deserves as exalted a Place in the Rolls of FAME, as any LUNATIC that ever made a Figure in Life; having this Advantage over his Predecessors of conspicuous Memory, that his Fame is, in the humblest View, founded upon innocent, not destructive Principles; upon universal, wondrous Philosophical Harmony; not violent, destructive Political Dissension.

In this Sense he has consented to submit himself and the following Journal to public Opinion; persuaded that however peculiar the Things he is to relate may appear, daily Experience proves they are not less true for being strange; and he even flatters himself that they may not be less entertaining because derived from a Country and People seldom mentioned in our World; for it is a Country much to be admired, and a People, in many Points, highly deserving Imitation.

CHAP. II.

Sir HUMPHREY's Translation to the MOON; his Reception in the Island of NOIBLA; Ceremony at the NOTLAM; and his Entry into the City of NODNOL.

HAving always attentively busied myself in the Contemplation of those innumerable and wonderful Bodies, which catching Light from the Sun, when he descends below our Hemisphere, adorn the Firmament with golden Specks, for such they seem to unassisted mortal Eyes; and being always extremely curious to examine whatever related to those Bodies, I form'd great Expectations from a Piece which once fell into my Hands, called BERGERAC'S VOYAGE to the MOON; the Title indeed gave me particular Pleasure, as I hoped to find somewhat very extraordinary in the Contents; yet was I vastly deceived, for tho' there are strong Marks of Genius in that Production, upon the whole I could discover nothing very interesting; however the Thought of a Journey to the LUNAR WORLD struck very deep, and all my Calculations, all my Wishes, were ever after assiduously employed on the effecting such a Jaunt; till at last, without any apparent Merit of mine, it happened in the following Manner.

The latter End of last MAY, taking a nightly Walk of Contemplation, I ascended a green Hill of considerable Height, whose Top was shaded with Trees, from whence, in awful Silence, broke only by lulling Notes from the plaintive Nightingale, I beheld, below me, a spacious Vale, intersected by the slow and stately Stream of a well-known River, skirted by a venerable Grove, whose Branches, as SHAKESPEAR has it, were silvered by the MOONSHINE'S watry Beams; that Planet having then filled its Orb with most unusual Lustre, wrapped up in pleasing Melancholy, Slumber insensibly fell upon me, and from thence I dropp'd into a profound Sleep.

How long this soft Semblance of Death remained upon me I cannot say; but imagine, Reader, if thou canst, my Surprize, and let me add some Terror also, when, upon waking, I found myself seated in a Kind of Triumphal Car, surrounded by a great Number of human Figures, not one of which I had the least Idea of; yet all shewing many Marks of Respect, and murmuring out an extraordinary Kind of Joy. My Astonishment being too visible for Disguise, a Person of venerable Aspect addressed me as follows, most profound Attention being given by the surrounding Crowd, who seemed to have much more Pleasure in the Practice of good Manners, than many of our polite Assemblies:

SON of EARTH, said he, fear not, thou art in the Regions of Safety: Tenderness and Hospitality ever smile here: Envy never shewed her snaky Locks, nor Slander her envenom'd Tongue, nor Cruelty her blood-stain'd Sword, in these Realms of soft Repose; rejoice therefore that thou art so highly favoured as to have an Opportunity of gratifying that Curiosity which has so long possessed thee; it was laudably ambitious, and stirred up to raise thee above the common Race of Men. Receive from me, in Behalf of all present, and of a much greater Number whom we represent, a zealous and unaffected Welcome; may every Thing thou meet'st, during thy Stay amongst us, contribute to thy Information and Pleasure; it shall be our Care to consult and to •romote both: May our Endeavours be •uccessful to thy Approbation.

Here, turning round, and repeating to •…e Multitude a few Words which I did •ot understand, they again made Obei •…nce. Having by this Time collected •onfidence, I replied,

VENERABLE SAGE, whom yet I know •ot either in Person or Dignity, how shall • fitly acknowledge this most hospitable •alutation? How pay the due Respect to •…ch unmerited Kindness? Yet let it not •…and as a Doubt of that Cordiality you •…ofess, to ask where I am, and by what Means I came hither, both being utterly •nknown to me. You, Sir, by your Lan •uage and Appearance, are ENGLISH; yet •any I see around you so different from •hat I have ever seen before, that I am most persuaded to believe some super •…tural Means have removed me from my native Land; besides, however conspicuous BRITAIN may be in the Rolls of Fame, the Character you give of this untainted Region far surpasses her proudest Boast; wherefore, good Sir, you cannot be displeased if I inquire where, and among whom I am at present placed.

Thy Desire, my Son, returns he, is natural, and that thou may'st not be kep• longer in Suspence, know that what tho• hast so long earnestly wished, is at lengt• come to pass; thou art now within the Limits of th• LUNAR WORLD; the imperceptible Method of thy Conveyanc• I cannot explain to thy Comprehension; let it suffice to say that some Rays of Attraction, sent down from the Mount o• Observation, a Spot which from Eart• appears to be the Nose of the MAN i• the MOON, drew thee from the Plac• where thou lay'st asleep; which powerfu• Operation was not a little facilitated by •ome sympathetic Pamphlets thou hadst •n thy Pockets, Pieces originally planned •n a certain Province of this LUNAR WORLD, and thence inspired into the •…oon-struck Authors of them. Upon this •nformation examining my Pockets, I •ound three of WHITEFIELD'S Sermons, •alf a Dozen NORTH-BRITONS, and as •any Schemes for paying off the Na •ional Debt, by JACOB HENRIQUES.

At this Point of Time my HOST, as I •ay call my sage Welcomer, directed a •ind of Procession, which tho' not grand, •or very regular, appeared to be calcula •ed as a high Compliment to me; my •…ar of State was drawn by six Animals, •wo of a Sort, with a Youth of about fif •een leading each; they were ELEPHANTS, HORSES, and LIONS, all remarkable in •heir Kinds; the ELEPHANTS were of •hose which so remarkably contributed to Victory in a Battle between the ROMANS and PYRRHUS; the Horses were BUCEPHALUS, and that on which CURTIUS leap'd into the gaping Gulph for the Good of his Country; and as to the LIONS, one of those that let DANIEL pass unmolested, was paired with him that gratefully remembered the Slave who freed his Foot from a tormenting Thorn. These, as well as many extraordinary Creatures of the Human Species, had been translated to the MOON, and are there held in great Regard.

I was shaded by a thin silken Canopy, held over me with great Exactness by six EAGLES of the SUN, their Plumes shining like his Beams, whose Wings kept Pace with the Car, and fanned the Breezes very agreeably around me. A Band of Music preceded the Car, not much unlike that Kind of rude Harmony with which we are told the Antients saluted the MOON in an Eclipse, supposing her to be at that Time in Labour.

As we approached a Gate, which I perceived led into the City, we stopped before a beautiful Arbor, formed by a Circle of most pleasing correspondent Trees; within this Arbor stood a small neat Building, which inclosed a Well called the NOTLAM, or SPRING of PURIFICATION: I was led towards it, being told that I was to undergo a Ceremony necessary to every Sublunary Being before his Admission into the City.

On each Side the Well stood six beautiful Virgins in flowing Robes of Azure, each holding in her Hand something like a Censer of transparent Chrystal: On my Entrance one of them, with the most courteous Solemnity, slowly approached me, and, according to my Conductor's Interpretation, spoke thus:

May'st thou, earth-born Mortal, by drinking of this holy Spring, become as cold to Passion, and as pure to Virtue, as its deep and lucid Stream. Having ended, and presented me the Water, she retired; when a second came forward, and sprinkling my Hands, said, May these be the Instruments of Industry, and not of Violence. A third, my Breast being bared, sprinkled it, with these Words: May Content ever dwell here, and social Hoppiness be the reigning Principle. A fourth bedewed my Head, saying, As Heaven's kindly Rain raises and cherishes the vegetable World, so may these consecrated Drops here bring forth the Fruits of Wisdom and Virtue.

So much of the Ceremony being over, the TWELVE VIRGINS circling round me, dancing all the Time with very odd Gestures, and singing a Hymn of Exultation, gave me so plentiful an Ablution, that I began to be weary. Having finished these Rites, they all prostrated them •elves before me, and then retired to their •laces on each Side the WELL.

Sensible of the Pains they had taken, •nd forgetting where I was, I intended to •ave made a pecuniary Acknowledge •ent; but my HOST perceiving the De •ign, Hold, SON of EARTH, says he, the Works of Religion and Hospitality are •ot sold here; nor have we any Coin but •ocial Intercourse and mutual Regard; •id I not tell thee we had no Envy or Dis •ord among us, and after that could'st •hou imagine any Regard would be paid •o such Dross as Gold? Did we want to •…troduce Flames among our Fields, •earth among our Cattle, Dissensions •mong our Families, Bloodshed into our •ities, Diseases into our Bodies, and pe •…ilential Passions into our Minds, that •…flammatory Trash would soon effect our •…ational and vicious Purposes. Yet, hold, one pleasing and useful Purpose the Sight of it may serve; lend me what thou hast, that, displaying it to public View, and briefly explaining its pernicious Effects, I may render it, if possible, still more contemptible and hateful to my Brethren of this World.

Here I gave him my Purse, from whence taking some Pieces of Gold, he held them in each Hand, and addressed the Multitude in the following Manner, as he afterwards explained it to me:

Behold, my Friends and Brothers of the ISLAND of NOIBLA, the most favoured Spot of all this LUNAR WORLD, behold, ye Sons of natural and untainted Liberty, the Fiend who, having got Footing on the Terrestrial Globe, rules every Government, and every Individual, of all Sexes, Ages, and Degrees; for the Sake of Bits like these, dug, by half-fed Slaves, out of the Bowels of the Earth, to pamper Pride and Luxury; thousands and ten Thousands march into the bloody Field of War, hung round with the most destructive Weapons of Cruelty, to mutilate and butcher their Fellow-Creatures; for these their Clergy pray; their Lawyers wrangle; their Physicians kill: For these Fathers and their Sons, Mothers and their Daughters, Brethren and Sisters, run into the most uncharitable Dissensions: Gilded with these, Vice claims Respect, while thread bare Virtue stands shiv'ring and helpless at the unhospitable Doors of Luxury and Pride.

For these Parents match their Children without the least Regard to mutual Affection; hence splendid Misery glares in so many Places, while calm Content flies their mercenary Dwellings.—Would you persuade; here lies the most powerful Eloquence:—Would you prove the Steadiness of a professing Patriot; here is the Touch-stone of intrinsic Worth:—Would you smooth the Wrinkles of Age, or proportion and harmonize Deformity; here is the necromantic Beautifier that can work such Miracles; and that too amongst Animals which boast themselves of Rationality, and yet are so wrapp'd up in Infatuation, that, while they most cautiously avoid whatever might be hurtful to the Body, devour, with insatiable and voratious Appetites, this more dangerous Poison of the Mind.—Oh Reason, where is thy Power? Mount, mount for Shame thy Throne, nor longer abdicate thy Judgment-Seat, lest usurping Passions create universal and incurable Confusion.

How, how should we rejoice, my Brethren, that, free from the fatal Influence of this Bane to social Happiness, no Blood stains our Fields; no Fears shake our Peace; that Religion is Gratitude, not Interest; that Inclination, moderated by Prudence, joins every Couple here; that Sons, when arrived to Discretion, enjoy equal Advantages with their Fathers, whom therefore they never wish to bury; that such Failings as we have amongst us cannot either be hid or rendered less shameful by such Tinsel Covering; that here no Tongue will move, no Virgin yield her Honour for mercenary Bribes! Is not this, my Friends, a copious Field for Exultation? A beautiful and solid Basis for just Self-esteem and Congratulation? Let Avarice glote upon its shining Heaps; let Glory nod under her bloodstained Plumage; let Ambition swell with fading Honours, while we, oh NOIBLANS! wish no greater Happiness than an uninterrupted Possession of our virtuous Mediocrity; which we do, and ever must, esteem an inexhaustible Source of real and invariable Felicity.

This Oration, pronounced with great Sensibility of Expression, harmonious Cadence of Voice, and much Grace of Action, gained universal Applause from the Crowd: Nor could it fail, for tho' delivered to them in a Language which I did not understand, yet the Manner of it struck my Attention deeply. Being ended, we again moved on, and in a few Minutes entered the City Gate.

CHAP. III.

Is conducted to the REQUECEX. The NOIBLAN Laws; their Chief Magistrate, the Manner of his Election, and his executive Power described; their Marriages; the Management and Education of their Youth, &c.

HAVING entered the City, we were met by a considerable Number of Persons who joined our Procession, which moved onwards to a spacious Square, •herein stood a very large Building of or •…icular Form, into which I was conducted. My HOST was the only one who entered •…e GREAT Hall with me; when, desiring •…e to recline myself on a Couch while he •…ok Place on another, he proceeded •…us: I doubt not, SON of EARTH, but •…any Circumstances you will meet with 〈◊〉 this ARESAL, or CITY of NODNOL, the •APITAL of NOIBLA, will appear pecu •…rly strange, perhaps inconsistent; but I •…ll endeavour to explain and reconcile •…e most material as they occur.

This Building we are now in is call'd •…e REQUECEX, or HOUSE of JUSTICE, •…ere Law is dispensed, and all Matters 〈◊〉 Debate, which may arise in this City, 〈◊〉 the District under its Jurisdiction, are •…cided; but, that you may better under •…nd this Part of the political Constitu •…n, I must sketch out a general View of •…e whole.

Know then that this Island of NOIBL• is divided into one hundred SEITNUOC• or Districts, each under a City, and ea•… City under the Guidance of one Mag•¦strate, called the NAMREDAL, who sits o•… day every TOIRTA, or Week, for adju•…¦ing such Complaints as may come befo•… him. His Direction is the Body of Law•… drawn up in a plain concise Stile, wit•… out the Intricacy and Incumbrance 〈◊〉 multiplied Clauses, which serve only 〈◊〉 explain away the Sense, and diminish t•… Force of the original Design. If at a•… Time he should be in Doubt, he 〈◊〉 Power to summon a Council of Citize•… not exceeding twenty in Number, to •…¦sist him with their Opinions, and, from Decree founded on such Precaution, the•… is no Appeal; but in Case the NAMRED•… gives Judgment of himself, to the D•… satisfaction of any Party, that Party m•… claim a fresh Trial, and then Arbitrat•… are fixed on in the following Manne•…

The Appellant chuses ten Citizens, and the Judge as many; these vote six, three on each Side, to determine the Cause; if they reverse the former Decree, and impute it to a mere Error in Judgement, the NAMREDAL is displaced as incapable; but, if they impute it to Partiality, he is then deprived of all his Rights as a CITIZEN, and banished to the dreary Mountains of NEROMA. This Check upon Magisterial Authority does not •bridge the Power, tho' it prevents Op •ression; for the Magistrate is not obliged •o give his Opinion singly, but may shel •er himself under the Advice of a Coun •il, if he is in Doubt.

Once every RAYAMON, or Year, all the NAMREDALS of the ISLAND meet in this REQUECEX, and consider the general •tate of the Inhabitants; whatever De •ects appear are regulated by them; after •hich six CITIZENS from each District enter into a minute Inquiry of every NAMREDAL'S Administration during his Year, and as they determine give him an honorary Certificate, or render him incapable of that Dignity ever after; which indeed is the only Office of Pre-eminence thro' the ISLAND, all other CITIZENS being upon an equal Footing. Nor is the Post of NAMREDAL in any Shape lucrative, Honour and Respect being the only Reward of his Labour;—he hears without Pension, and before him each Individual pleads his own Cause without Passion or Malice; his Judgments are pu• in Force, if any Opposition should b• made, which seldom happens, by any Ci¦tizen he fixes on, who thinks himself ho¦noured, not lessened, by giving Efficacy to Law. Hence you see his Court is no• scandalized by such blood-sucking Vul¦tures as those in your World, who, un¦der the Appellation of Officers of Justice• commit the most violent Depredation• and unheard-of Cruelties upon those unhappy Delinquents, who are committed to their merciless Talons.

Just when my sage Instructor had gone thus far, I was alarmed with the tolling of a very large Bell, which he told me was the ELKNITAN, or BELL of NOON; and then desired me to look into the Square on every Side, where I perceived a considerable Number of young Persons setting out a Kind of Tables. Expressing a Curiosity to know what could be the Meaning of this Preparation, he told me that the City of NODNOL was divided into twelve SENIRATS, or Wards, in each of which was a RUVENAL, or Square, wherein all the Inhabitants took their SELBATAZA, or Noon-tide Meal together, without Precedence or Distinction: This, continues he, creates a general Intercourse, as they alternately go from one SENIRAT to the other; and as each Person contributes proportionably to the general Stock, constitutional Equality and a Sufficiency are thus daily renewed and supported.

By this Time, again looking into the RUVENAL, I saw a prodigious Number of Persons, Men on one Side and Women on the other, set down to a pleasing Variety of Fruits and Herbage, disposed with much Taste and Neatness; behind stood Boys and Girls all cloathed in Green, (a Colour which the Youth wear till they are married) with small Vessels of Liquid, and some other Materials, which I could not distinguish; these he told me were the Children of those who sat at the Tables, who, from the Age of twelve to twenty, act as public Servitors, not only to create Respect for their Parents, but for all those of superior Years.

Here I inquired, if all present were married, what became of those who were single; to which he answered, That Persons in a State of Celibacy were not allowed the Honour of sitting in the RUVENAL, but remained in their own Habitations, as do also those married Couples who are not blessed with any Children.

You observe, says he, no superfluous Luxury in that Repast; no Food for Sickness; every third Day Flesh-Meat is allowed, but in a small, limited Quantity; nor are there any high Sauces to flatter palled Appetites; all plain nutritious Aliment; hence, among NOIBLANS, no Fevers send the Blood boiling thro' their Veins; no Palsies shake their Nerves; no Rheumatisms cramp their Bones; but, free from Disorder, by the gradual and inevitable Decays of Age alone, they drop into the Grave spontaneously, as it were, like mellow Fruit, without Fear and without Pain. Nor is this Regularity, this healthful Simplicity, all; stated Times of going to Bed and rising, which are signified by Toll of Bell thro' the ISLAND, largely contribute to these salutary Effects.

How different this from the Practice in your World, where Nature's Profusions are exhausted to pamper Luxury under the fallacious Title of Taste; where every Season, every Climate, every Stream, and every Ocean, is ransacked for the endless Cravings of restless Mortals; where one Half rest by Day, the other by Night; where Multitudes scarce ever see that glorious Luminary the Sun, but destroy their Time and Constitutions by the Light of artificial Glimmerings, fit only to delude Moths and Birds of Night.

Exercise and Labour also contribute much to preserve and invigorate the NOIBLANS; no Person is exempt from either• and the Master of every Family is oblige• to give in a weekly Account how the several Members of it have been employed; if not to the greatest public Advantage, he is censured as having failed in his Duty, and an additional Task is allotted for the ensuing Week; nor can a fallacious Account be rendered, as all Transactions here are so open, that the least Misrepresentation must be detected, than which nothing can be more shameful.

To all this, continues he, I doubt not you would say that there is pretty Speculation, something well imagined in such a Plan of Policy; but then how can it be reduced to Practice, without more forcible, nay, more terrifying Restrictions than any yet mentioned?

The Reply to this plausible Objection, which I have stated in order to your further Satisfaction and Information, is obvious, concise, clear, and conclusive; our Method of treating Children here is so different from that in your World, that the Passions, tho' the same in Nature, are so corrected as to become Sparks to animate Virtue, not Flames to destroy it.

To effect this most desirable Purpose, every Child, a few Days after its Birth, is taken from the Mother, and given to the Care of some other Woman, who may, by corrective, constitutional Qualifications, alter the Child's natural Defects; if he is born of a Mother cold and phlegmatic in her Disposition, he is put to one of a sanguine Habit; and thus the Contrast is observed in other Cases, so that a due Temparament is formed from the earliest.

The next Point of Care is not to indulge any perverse Humours, but, from the Moment an Infant is capable of Distinction, to check, by Means proportioned to its Feelings, every irregular, superfluous Craving; hence that Untowardness of Temper so common amongst Youth, is timely suppressed; hence are they relieved from the innumerable Cares, the endless self-created Wants, which misapplied Indulgence gives Birth to.—How grosly then are they mistaken, who call it Cruelty to curb tender Years? when nothing is more certain than that one Desire granted creates another, till the unhappy Favourite grows thoroughly miserable either by having no more to ask, or by wishing for somewhat beyond his Reach. From this Error in Parents or Guardians, arises the disagreeable Necessity of corporal Punishment, which is so oddly administered by some, that thro' Passion, not Judgment, they correct, and thro' foolish Tenderness, not prudential Regard, the very next Moment they caress and sooth the Child into a Forgetfulness of its own Fault and their Corrrection. The Absurdity of such Conduct needs no Comment; be it enough then to remark, that, to those who are used to obey a Word, a Word will serve; and how easy, how natural must it be for them whose Appetites are kept within Bounds, even without the Assistance of Reason, to temper their Passions when they have not only that safe Guide, but Experience also to assist them?

At stated Times Youth are sent to the SNOISSAPANS, or PUBLIC SCHOOLS; which, like all other Employments, are filled up without Reward, except in Exemption from other Offices and Avocations, which is a Privilege every Profession also enjoys, so that each Person knows the Sphere he is to move in, and is solely answerable for his Conduct in it.

At these SNOISSAPANS the NOICTOCS, or Masters, instruct their Pupils in the Principles of Morality, the Tenets of Religion, social Duties, and the Laws of the ISLAND: By the three first Branches each Individual learns how to conduct himself in a private and social, and, by the last, in a political Capacity; from this Method he becomes his own Divine, his own Lawyer, his own Magistrate. Having no Commerce with any other Country, or amongst ourselves, the Arts of Trade, and consequently Fraud, are unknown with us; as to what are called in your World polite Accomplishments, they are looked upon to be useless, or rather pernicious Superfluities, since they not only engross much Time, but also afford great Occasion to Vanity.

Our Females are also sent to public Seminaries, and early taught to know and practise those Branches of Employment which suit their tender Sex; they are carefully informed of the several Duties which will be expected from them when they enter the Marriage State; they are instructed to despise Spirit without Conduct, Wit without Prudence, and Beauty without Virtue; they are also taught to believe that Complaisance, Affection, and Industry, are essential to her that would obtain the amiable and exalted Character of a GOOD WIFE; they are taught, for the PUBLIC GOOD, to resign their Children to the Care of others without Reluctance, and to treat those which are committed to their Charge with all fit Attention and Tenderness; for every Woman here, when her Condition answers and Occasion requires, is, by the Law, a Nurse to the Public; by which Institution there is a Kind of relative Fondness diffused thro' Society; for, as it often happens, one Woman may nurse for a Dozen or more Families, which unites her intimately to them; at the same Time that those, who do the same endearing Office for her, are joined in the Knot of Friendship: Thus a Kind of con •ective Chain unites all the Inhabitants of NOIBLA.

Here I thanked my very kind Instruc •or for explaining to me, in so concise and •lear a Manner, Points of such Novelty •nd good Sense; at the same Time requesting that, since we had gone thus far, •e would inform me how their Marriages were negotiated, which Desire he obligingly complied with.

No Male, says he, is married till he is •ull twenty-one Years of Age, nor Female till she is nineteen; from those Pe •iods till the former reaches thirty-six, •nd the latter thirty, they unite them •elves as proves agreeable; but, if they •xceed the stated Time in Celibacy, they •re banished as unworthy and unprofit •ble Members of Society, the Men to •he Mountains of NEROMA, and the Women to the Country of OMYRCHAL, or the VALLEY of WEEPING.

When a Man looks upon a Female, who must be at least five and not more than ten Years under his Age, he is, when the first Opportunity offers, to make his Regard known with plain unadorned Sincerity; he is not, by any Degree of Flattery ever so distant or delicate, to warp her Judgment, nor, by any Presents, to bribe her Inclination: If she is free from the Sollicitation of any other, she may give him all modest Encouragement; or, on the contrary, if she happens to be engaged in any previous Treaty, she is, without Reserve, to let him know it, in which Case he must immediately desist; but if she should endeavour to keep him in Suspence, and extend her Conversation to others at the same Time, when it comes to be known all the Parties she has encouraged have an equal Right to demand her; nor can she be married to any one, unless all the rest renounce their Claim.

This makes Females cautious how they commence Coquettes, and frees disinterested Love from the painful Anxieties of Suspence. On the other Side, if a Man addresses a Female, and afterwards declines to marry her, he is banished; and any Couple who chance to be convicted of cohabiting before Marriage, are not only rendered incapable of ever marrying, but are also publickly stigmatized, which prevents ill-designing Men from making, or weak Women from believing, any Promises tending to the Disgrace of one, and the Ruin of the other.

If a Couple are agreeable to each other, and none of the above-mentioned Impediments keep them asunder, the Man first, in Point of Respect, mentions it to his own Parents, and then to the Woman's; both Sides, as mutual consent is all that is required, meet and give their Approbation; at which Time they reciprocally question each other concerning the Dispositions of their Children, conjuring that no Failing of Body or Mind, which they have any Knowledge of, may be concealed. The Declaration being made before the young Couple, they are severally asked if any Objection arises from what they have heard; if not, the Bride's Father appoints the Day of Solemnization, upon the Morning of which the Parties repair to the NOTLAM, where they are questioned by the Virgins, whether they come there actuated by a pure and undefiled Love, not thro' the impulse of irregular Passions: If a sincere Desire of invariable Constancy, if a Design to promote each other's Happiness, and a Resolution jointly to cultivate the PUBLIC GOOD, be their real Motives for coming thither; which Questions being answered by them in the Affirmative, they are placed on their Knees, are each sprinkled thrice, and vow by the Waters of that HOLY SPRING, to keep the cordial Affection they have professed inviolate; then the BRIDE presents a transparent Stone, cut in Form of a Heart, to one of the VIRGINS, that she may deliver it to the Bridegroom, who returns a counter Part, and then, laying his Hand upon the BRIDE'S Head, says,—In Judgement let me rule;—she, pressing her Hand upon his Left Breast, replies,—And in Love let me prevail.—Here a VIRGIN, again sprinkling them, says,—May Fertility make you honourable, and pious Children make you glad Parents.

So ends the Ceremony; they are then conducted back to the Bridegroom's Father's, where a neat moderate Entertainment is provided; after which they retire to a lonely but most pleasant rural Spot, called ZAMELA, or the PLAIN of MODESTY, about ten SILCARS, or Miles, from the City, and there live two REAPANS, or Months, in Privacy; it being deemed inconsistent, with just Reserve, for a Female to appear publickly in less Time after so serious and important a Change of Condition.

As Interest and the Influence of Parents have no Concern in these Marriages, it is no Matter of Surprize to find them happy; besides, as it would be impossible, from the Method of living all over NOIBLA, to conceal any Coldness or Disagreement, either of which renders the Parties highly contemptible to Society, if Love, by any extraordinary Chance, should fail, the Fear of Reproach keeps up at least an apparent Cordiality and Decency, which prevents the bad Influence of their Example, and restrains them from such ir¦rational and unnatural Extremities of •omestic Warfare, as you have seen among •any Couples in your World.

Struck with the Ease, Simplicity, and •ropriety of these Customs, I could not •elp breaking out into a Kind of extatic •pprobation; happy, thrice happy NOI •ANS, said I, on whom Happiness sheds •er kindest Influence, how must I feel, in •…comparative View, for my Brothers of •…e Terrestrial Globe, whose Inclinations, •evices, and Pursuits, are almost at con •…ual Variance with Content; who live 〈◊〉 if they were merely framed to torment •…emselves, or could find their own Re •…se only in disturbing Society; born •…th perplexing Appetites, nursed into •…rannical Passions, and ripening by con •…med Years in Disquiet; while Reason, •…thron'd and enslav'd, becomes a base •…ocurer to the debauch'd Imagination, •…d servilely ministers where it should •…mmand.

Here the great Bell again tolling interrupted my Reflection, and a Train of Remarks we should possibly have made on this Subject.

CHAP. IV.

The NAMREDAL's Manner of dining; hi• Account of himself, and many othe• remarkable Personages translated fro• Earth; with their several Destinations i• the LUNAR WORLD.

THE NAMREDAL, for such I foun• my kind Instructor to be, here re¦marked that I should shortly see the high¦est Mark of Distinction that is ever pai• in NOIBLA; for, says he, the Chief Ma¦gistrate, to support Dignity and gain In¦fluence, dines alone in this Hall, and 〈◊〉 attended by a certain Number of Ci•…¦zens, who pay the Compliment in su•… Rotation, that each appears in that Sta •ion once a Year.

Here, being informed that Dinner was •pproaching, we retir'd into a neighbour •ng Chamber till the Provision was dis •osed according to Custom; which done, •e return'd, and found a large Table sup •lied with very elegant Simplicity; a Number of respectable Persons appeared 〈◊〉 Waiting on each Side, who all, tho' •ersonally and intimately acquainted with •he Chief Magistrate, paid as distant and •umble a Respect, as if they had been no •ore than hired Servants. Not being •sed to a Circumstance of this Kind, I •as in some Degree of Confusion at the •xtraordinary Honour offered me of sit •…ng at the Table; which the NAMREDAL •erceiving, he gently rebuked my Diffi •ence, and placed me near himself. Im •ediately after this a venerable Person, •…oathed in a long flame-colour'd Garment, whom I found to be an AVOZE•… or Priest, with very awful and emphati• Deliberation, spoke these Words:

Fountain of Life, great and incomprehe•¦sible Dispenser of all Things essential to Hap¦piness here and hereafter, give to these V•…¦ands such salutary Effects, that they may ch•¦rish and invigorate, not corrupt and impai•… the humble Receivers, who gladly praise t•… Name, and confidently rest every Hope 〈◊〉 thee.

Perceiving some Dishes prepared in o•… Manner, and justly imagining they we•… designed for me, I help'd myself witho•… Reserve, while the NAMREDAL confin•… himself to a Sort of Pulse and Vegetable•… mingled somewhat in the Manner of o•… Sallads, and moistened with an aroma•… Liquid, called AZONIA. During t•… Time of Dinner not a Word was uttere•… it being held indecent by the NOIBLA•… to converse at Meal-Times, till Thanks are rendered, and they have rinsed their Mouths thrice with Water from the NOTLAM.

Having given a Sign that our Appetites were satisfied, the Table was uncovered with the greatest Regularity and Expedition imaginable; when a Desert of various Fruits appeared, several of which I tasted, and found them to the Palate as much superior in Richness and Flavour, as to the Sight they appeared more tempting than any which grow in our sublunary Sphere. At the same Time there was placed before us two Chrystal Vessels, in Form of wreathed Snakes, containing a Fluid of the purest Green I ever saw, and fermenting with yellow Sparkles, which appeared at first so like the shining of a Serpent's scaly Skin, that I was rather startled; but seeing the NAMREDAL put his own Mouth to his, placing his Hand to his Breast, and bowing respectfully round, I did the same; at which all in Waiting set their Left Knees on the Ground, and, leaning their Foreheads on their folded Hands, remained so till the NAMREDAL had finished his Draught; when instantly a numerous Band of Music gave Voice to their Instruments, and play'd about five Minutes, during which the AVOZEN presented us with Water; and, having purified ourselves, he with his Right Hand on the NAMREDAL'S Head, and his Left upon mine, spoke to the following Effect:

Most venerable Father of NODNOL, Delegate of our universal Parent, and thou highly-favoured Terrestrial, be thankful for past Blessings, and piously industrious to deserve future; nor hold such Indulgences in less Estimation and Gratitude, because they are daily conferred, than if they were admi¦nister'd with a more sparing Hand; still re¦member that, without the constant Support and Direction of an unseen Almighty Arm, those nor we; this Island, the lower Globe, nor that great Mass of Fire which cherishes the whole with animating Heat; nor the rest of the celestial Orbs; nor that immense Firmament thro' which they roll, could exist; but, rushing into Anarchy and elemental War, must crumble into nothing.—Remember also that the external Purification of Limbs is no farther useful than as an emblematical Remembrance of that Purification which your Hearts hourly require.

This Ceremony being concluded, the AVOZEN and all the attending Citizens retired. Being once more by ourselves, the NAMREDAL resumed Conversation as follows:

Brother of the nether Globe, it is now Time I should let you know some Particulars, which have at least Novelty to recommend commend them to your Attention: Know then that I was once an Inhabitant of Earth, of that Part of it too which you come from, and I doubt not but my Name is familiar to you, few Persons having made a greater Noise in the Field of Speculation than Bishop WILKINS: Roused by the Name, I begged Leave, if not inconsistent with his present Dignity, to embrace him as a near Relation of the LUNATIC Family; which Request he most kindly admitted, and declared himself doubly happy in finding not only a Countryman in me but a Kinsman also.

Tho' to all Appearance I died, continued he, and was laid in Earth with the usual Solemnity, yet the strict, unwearied Attention I had paid to the LUNAR WORLD, obtained me a Translation to this happy Spot, where I have continued ever since in Ease and Respect, without a Wish to gratify, a Fear to perplex, or any visible Decay. How long I may be permitted to remain, is just as doubtful as my Existence in the other World was, because it is self-evident that all Beings are in a continual State of Rotation, till a general Consummation of the vast and impenetrable Scheme of Creation dissolves all perishable Matter, and unites the whole in one wide Field of incorruptible Felicity.

Here my Curiosity led me to inquire if there were any more earthly Inhabitants, or if he alone was thus highly favoured: To which he replied, that there were great Numbers scatter'd thro' the MOON, and that NOIBLA had a considerable Share. Most Men, says he, remarkable for either GOOD or EVIL, are translated to some Part of the LUNAR REGIONS, as Natives of this World also are, in Return, occasionally transferred to yours.

I shall mention a few of those at present in NODNOL, beginning with ALEXANDER and DARIUS; who, barring some occasional Debates upon their former Quarrels, now live in a State of the most perfect Friendship. CAESAR and POMPEY also live together here upon much the same Terms; CATO too appears amongst us, but retains so much of selfish Pride and Stoicism, that he has very little Communion with others; like them, however, he is obliged to comply with the Laws of Equality prescribed here, where there is no Distinction, and only indulges his Pride in private.

Those Personages, you will allow, who sought after unreasonable Pre-eminence over their Fellow-Creatures in a State of former Existence, are justly excluded from Naturalization and the Dignity of Magistracy in NOIBLA. BRUTUS, but for his Ingratitude to his warmest Friend and reputed Father, would have been here, and well received; however, as that is deemed the deepest Stain upon the human heart, he was excluded from this mild Region, and doom'd to the poor and turbulent Country of ERISHNOVER, or MOUNTAINS of BLOOD, where his gentle, humane, philosophic Disposition renders him contemptible to others, and painful to himself.

We have PETER the GREAT of MUSCOVY, and the TWELFTH CHARLES of SWEDEN; HENRY the EIGHTH, Queen ELIZABETH, OLIVER CROMWELL, and CHARLES the SECOND of ENGLAND: LEWIS the FOURTEENTH of FRANCE, Cardinal WOLSEY, CECIL Lord BURLEIGH, and many others which it would be too tedious to mention.

Taking Occasion to remark that, among the Personages named, there was a great Variety of Characters, and desiring to know with what Propriety they could be sent to the same Spot, the NAMREDAL satisfied me as follows:

The several Persons spoken of, says he, retain a considerable Share of those Passions which prevailed in them on Earth; and, according as they were meritorious or culpable, are punished or rewarded here; not by corporal or external Recompences, but by the Pleasures and Pains of the Mind, which they experience in a most sensible Degree; a Perfection which I take to be in great Measure derived, on the one Hand, from a comparative View of that unchanging Serenity they see constantly around them, yet cannot themselves enjoy; or, on the other Hand, from a conscious Rectitude, which makes them Partakers in that Tranquillity.

That you may the better understand me, and more clearly conceive how generally and impartially Justice is administer'd thro' the Universe, I will sketch out the several Characters.

ALEXANDER the GREAT, and CHARLES the TWELFTH, his mad Admirer, were, as History has informed you, rapacious and unbounded in their Ambition; an enthusiastic Devotion to the Phantom or Shade of Glory, for the Substance can never be gained by lawless Principles, had extinguished every Spark of general Humanity in the Breasts of these Royal Plunderers; like Pestilence and Famine they waked but to destroy; like Earthquakes they shook and swallowed up whole Nations; pale Desolation, with the red Right Arm of War, bore their Standards; insatiate Death nodded in grim Smiles upon their Helmets; and the devouring Grave yawned wide in all their Councils; in vain the Groans of Widows, the Cries of Orphans, and the Wreck of Kingdoms, struck their Eyes and Ears; fortified, the one by his Ambition, the other by his Cruelty, against all humane and tender Sentiments, they ran the Race of Destruction, till at last they themselves fell Sacrifices to the Violence and Inconsistency of their Natures; at which Period they were translated hither, with what Fitness you shall judge.

As a Thirst of unlimited Power was the ruling Principle of their Lives; as Turbulence and the Distresses of Multitudes were their chief Enjoyments, they have been sentenced to this Region of Peace; wherein, retaining their former rapacious Inclinations, they are tormented with a constant Desire of Rule and Precedency, which they can by no Means obtain; and labour under hourly Disappointments of those Plans they are constantly framing to kindle Discord and create Confusion: Besides which, ALEXANDER'S Pride has the Mortification of being obliged, once each Week, to attend upon DARIUS as a menial Servitor; however, on Account of his generous and delicate Behaviour to the Females of that Monarch's Family, this Part of his painful Situation is rendered as easy as possible, while the hot-brained CHARLES is doomed to a daily unremitted Attendance upon the Czar PETER; which magnanimous Monarch, in return of his unwearied Attention and patriot Care to the Improvement of so great and uncultivated an Empire as he reigned over, not only enjoys every Privilege of a naturalborn NOIBLAN, but, since his Arrival here, has also been three Times chosen NAMREDAL of this City by general Suffrage, and has as often been rewarded, for his worthy Exercise of that Office, with the most unlimited Approbation.

CAESAR, as a generous, humane Conqueror, of an open, confident, and unsuspicious Nature, who being above Treachery himself saw it not in others, is held in considerable Esteem; but as he was the chief Cause of reducing his Country first under dictatorial and afterwards under imperial Power, he is not allowed to rank as a CITIZEN; yet his first Steps proceeding rather from the Principle of Self-defence than of Ambition, he is as much indulged as possible; while his Antagonist POMPEY, whose selfish, stubborn Pride was the Cause of subverting that LIBERTY he pretended to support, is placed in a much inferior Station, entirely dependent upon CAESAR'S Interposition for any Advantage he may desire: As to CATO, he passes his Time in a Kind of contemptible Solitude, branded with the indelible Stigma of having fled like a Coward from his Country when she most needed his Help, by an unjustifiable and ignominious Suicide; a Step so mean and culpable, that, were it not for the Counterbalance of many private Virtues he possessed, his Doom would have been much more severe. I had almost forgot to tell you that MARC ANTONY is here, as fond of Gaiety as ever; but labours under the Inconvenience of being obliged to wear a Moppet hung round his Neck, as a Mark of his Folly in losing the World for a worthless Woman.

HENRY the EIGHTH has brought with him hither all his Spirit of RELIGIOUS REFORMATION; it still remains so active and impetuous, that he never lets our AVOZENS alone; who hear him indeed, but as often laugh at the vain Efforts of Innovation, to the no small Mortification of his Pride: He is also equally amorous, without being able to gain the Esteem of any one Female, or any Reply to his Addresses, except the Recapitulation of his Behaviour to those Wives whom he treated with so much Cruelty on Earth: Besides which, that he may be the better known and more despised, he is once a Month carried thro' the City, at certain Parts whereof the following Notification is set forth:

Behold, ye NOIBLANS, a MONSTER, who, while in Power, the Father of a generous, brave, and free People, sacrificed every Consideration, all nobler Principles, to Lust and Pride, making even Religion a Party in his abominable Schemes, whom neither hallowed Shrines, nor the tender and melting Tye of Beauty, could restrain from Depredations and Cruelties.

His Daughter ELIZABETH, for many great and eminent Qualities, is allowed Precedence of all Females in NODNOL and would have been once chosen to the Magistracy; but the Caprice of having sacrificed a Favourite to ill-grounded Resentment or Jealousy, and the Cruelty of having even agreed to the Execution of so amiable a Princess as her Sister of SCOTLAND, were universally allowed to be such Blemishes in Character as rendered her unfit for the Dignity she sollicited. This Disappointment so rankles in her Breast, that she is often heard to sigh deeply, and to exclaim, Oh ESSEX! Oh MARY! not content with having fix'd a dead and painful Load upon my Heart while in the lower World, do you pursue and haunt me here to imbitter the Happiness, disturb the Peace, and prevent the Honour I might enjoy? Must your Blood stain and cloud my Character? Must your Groans silence the Voice of Fame? Thus does she often bewail herself: So deep, so lasting, and so powerful are the Stings of Conscience; which, far outstretching the Wounds of human Weapons, prolong their Pains to immortality.

OLIVER CROMWELL, who next appears in View, ever since his Arrival had been endeavouring to obtain the Naturalization and Government of the City; full of the same Hypocrisy which led him to the PROTECTORSHIP of ENGLAND; Master of the same insinuating Arts of Popularity, he had endeavour'd to recommend himself as an implicit, strict, and zealous Admirer of the Laws, both Religious and Political. Under this agreeable Semblance many began to look on him with a favourable Eye, especially as he had in a most plausible Manner painted himself as the Assertor of LIBERTY; and to the Charge of having been a Regicide, offered the following Vindication:

"I stand before you, Oh NOIBLANS, to claim the Privileges of a CITIZEN; one only Objection you seem to make, the Fate of an unhappy Monarch, which has been chiefly attributed to me; but let me assert, and that with the strictest Truth, that CHARLES, thro' Obstinacy and the Advice of evil Counsellors, fell a Sacrifice to the ungovernable Rage of a Nation highly and justly incensed; not, as Heaven is my Witness, thro' any ambitious Views or sinister Influence of mine. Make the Case your own, Oh NOIBLANS; suppose this ISLAND of the same political Constitution as ENGLAND; that you had seen every Right infringed; that you had traced Royal Prerogative advancing with gigantic Strides, and crushing LIBERTY on every Side; would you not have felt? Would you not have spoke? And, finding Remonstances fail, would you not have roused Force to vindicate yourselves? Does Reason or Law exempt any Man from Examination, or secure him in Oppression, because Chance makes him Heir to Regal Dignity? Would you, like passive and defenceless Lambs, tamely wait till the ravening Wolf leap'd the Fold and revelled in your dearest Blood? Your happy Frame of Government knows not such Convulsions, and may it never know them; yet Imagination may awake your Feelings and inform your Judgment. If Self-defence be the first great Law of Nature, is it not full as justifiable in a Nation as in an Individual? And if so, must there not be some Conductors, who, like Sinews in the human Body, may brace and give Strength to the Body Politic? In this Capacity it pleased Providence to place me; and, for many Years, much against my natural Disposition, I toiled thro' Fatigues and Blood, not only encountering the Hazards of War, but also the greater and more sure working Danger of numberless Snares laid for my Life, both by declared and secret Enemies; who, not having Ability or Fortune to serve their Country so effectually, wished to remove me as the chief Obstacle in the Way of their Pride.

"Thro' all this I struggled with unabating Constancy: Was it for me singly to stand against Justice and popular Rage, nay, against my own Conscience too, in Favour of CHARLES? I know it has been said that his Exile or Imprisonment would have been more eligible than his Death; yet to me either Alternative seems cruel or wretched: Admitting he was a GOOD MAN, but a BAD KING, which his most sanguine Friends have allowed; was it not more humane, and more consistent with his Dignity, to remove him from the Turbulence of this Life by momentary Pain, than to keep him in a lingering State of Captivity, or force him into foreign Climates, a poor and miserable Dependent? But why, it may be said, if a GOOD MAN, should he be removed at all? Nothing can be more obvious than that public and private Virtues are widely different; the narrow Sphere of one can never be extended to the wide Expansion of the other. Intention may be good, Execution bad; and as, in the natural Body, Reason directs us to part with the dearest Limb, however valuable and essential, if it threatens Corruption to the whole; so, in the political one, any Member, whose Life must inevitably be the Source of Contentions should be cut off: This being an indispensible Necessity, why should those who effect the Separation be more blamed than a Surgeon is for an Amputation? In this Light only my Adherence to the common Cause is to be considered; and surely my Administration, which was crowned not only with Respect, but Terror abroad, and national Happiness at home, must sufficiently prove that I acted upon such Principles, and such only; but arduous and precarious is every public Undertaking, however disinterested, however perilous, Envy lies in wait with her invenomed Tooth, and Slander with her poison-dropping Tongue; however •ere, where neither the one nor the other •as any Existence, I presume this plain, •nadorned, and unstudied Apology for •he sole Objection that is urged against •…e, will be sufficient to set your Suffra •…es at Liberty; which, if I did not mean •…o deserve, I never would sollicit."

Already prepared as they were, •…s Harangue considerably prejudiced the CITIZENS in his Favour, when CHARLES •he SECOND produced a Paper, which CROMWELL could not deny to be his Hand-Writing, containing a Scheme for •ringing the ISLAND of NOIBLA under •onarchical Government. This raised so •uch Indignation against him, that he •as immediately appointed to the servile •ffice of SOLARMAN, or COMMON CRY •R, which he fills up with infinite Dis •ust.

The SECOND CHARLES, who, in his terrestrial State, was remarkable for nothing but Libertinism, and a Disregard of Religion, is, in Return, chained, as I may say, to the painful Office of RANEVER in one of our TEMPLES, a Place somewhat similar to that of a VERGER; by which he is obliged to attend Devotion at least four Times each Day, and is also totally debarred from the Converse of Women, for whom he has as great a Passion as formerly when he was King.

There is not a Personage in NOIBLA that is in a more painful or ridiculous Situation than LEWIS the FOURTEENTH of FRANCE; Ostentation having been his Idol, he is reduced to a more obscure and penurious Appearance than any other in NOIBLA, under which he labours to maintain all his former Dignity; but having no Sycophants near to blazon his Praise, he writes miserable Sonnets upon himself; goes about building Things he calls triumphal Arches, and Memorials of Vic •ories; while CAESAR, in PARTICULAR, •aughs at his Folly, and ALEXANDER fol •owing, kicks down the frail Baby-houses of his Pride as fast as he raises them; but his heaviest Grievance is, that among the numberless Relations he makes of his own and the French Greatness, not one meets with Credit; it being well known that while a King, Truth and Faith were two Points he never regarded, when Pride and Ambition came into the opposite Scale.

WOLSEY, that puffed-up Mushroom of Fortune, in Return of his most exorbitant Insolence, is here reduced to the Office of keeping the RUVENAL; that is, sweeping it every Day, and tolling the ELKNITAN before the Citizens dine.

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BURLEIGH, as a faithful Minister, who consulted and held an exact Equilibrium between the Dignity of his Royal Mistress and the Liberty of his Countrymen, i• naturalized, and generally makes one o• the Council that are chosen to assist th• NAMREDAL, upon dubious or intricat• Occasions.

Thus I have sketched out some of th• many remarkable Personages which a•… in this Capital; and I am persuaded thei• several Destinations will be thought just•

Here I expressed great Pleasure an• Gratitude to the NAMREDAL upon thi• Relation, and begged Leave to ask hi• concerning some Persons who occured t• my Recollection; he kindly desiring m• to give full Scope to my Curiosity, I pro¦ceeded, and he replied, as will be foun• in the following Chapter.

CHAP. V.

Containing Strictures upon the Freedom of AUTHORS and the PRESS; a prevailing Sect in Religion considered; the Stations of several of the Literati transferred from EARTH to the MOON considered.

YOU ask me, says the NAMREDAL, if none of the Tribe of AUTHORS have gained Admittance here?—Yes.—Many. For Genius is highly admired, Laudatur et Alget is not the Case in NOIBLA; their Possessions are equal to any CITIZEN'S; wherefore, not having Poverty to chill, nor Perplexity to trammel it, Fancy takes a full, unbounded Scope; and as all write for Praise, none for Hire, the Quality, and not the Quantity of Things written is regarded; this prevents the Subject from being soon thread-bare, and relieves the AUTHOR from the disagreeable Necessity of being, like a Post-Horse, obliged to drudge to a particular Spot, wearied or not.

Every Writer being at full Liberty to chuse his Subject, and not at all depending upon the Sale of his Book, is free from any Obligation of flattering popular Passions; he thinks according to his Judgment, and honestly writes as he thinks; he need not, for the Support of Nature, scatter infectious Sentiments among the People, to the great Prejudice of Morality, as was remarkably the Case upon Earth when I was there. Answer me, Have you not still the Vermin amongst you who produce, and worse Vermin who love to feast upon, such poisonous Materials?

Yes, venerable Sir, says I, we certainly have, tho', to the Praise of ENGLAND be it spoken, VIRTUE was never more seldom put to the Blush than at present. Our AUTHORS, for the most Part, want Fancy, but their Sentiments are chaste; nor do I think this Merit owing to their Integrity, so much as to the Public Opinion, which happily rejects and severely condemns licentious Productions, I mean in the Works of mere Entertainment: Indeed, as to RELIGION and POLITICS, tho' we have less to complain of, and more to admire in both than any other Nation, yet they are in general treated with great Freedom, and sometimes with much Scurrility, under the specious Veil of LIBERTY; a Word more admired, more used, and more abused in BRITAIN, than in any Part of the Globe besides: However, as those Convulsions which sometimes take Place in the general Constitution of Nature, such as Tempests, Earthquakes, &c. strengthen and preserve the whole, tho' they create Fear and spread Destruction in particular Spots; so watchful and turbulent Spirits are essential to a Free State, to intimidate and detect bad Statesmen, who may be crawling, with the slow and subtle Steps of Snake-like Policy, to unwarrantable Lengths. But it may be said those loudtongued Guardians of Freedom are for the most Part designing Men, of venal Dispositions; no Matter what their Views may be, if they set forth seasonable Truths;—as to the Inconvenience real Patriots may labour under from groundless and malicious Censure; it is an unavoidable Tax upon Office, yet of trifling Importance; like the Babbling of an unstaunch Hound, it may cause the Pack to open, but it cannot lead them far upon a false Scent; and however strong the Web of Deceit may be wrought, Facts are too stubborn to be confined by it. Hence the LIBERTY of the PRESS, however it may be abused, (and no human Institution is perfect) ought to be most carefully preserved, as an unreserved Monitor to KING, STATESMEN, and PEOPLE: Hence it is that BRITISH MONARCHS, if they will but read, have an Advantage above all others in regard of popular Grievances; and hence is it also that STATESMEN may be corrected in their Blunders, or chastised for their Villany. Conscious Honesty, founded on a Rock, •…an weather the fiercest Gales of Fac •…on; and I believe it is an irrefragable Truth, that of all the Revolutions which •ave taken Place among civilized Go •ernments, there is scarce one to be pro •uced, however wantonly it might be •arried on, but what was originally found •… on Right. If an Administration, thro' •bstinacy or ill Designs, will not hear and •…dress the Grievances of a People, 'tis •…t at all surprizing that the many-head •… Monster, once enraged and broken •…se, should subvert all Order, tread up •… all Law, and mark its ruinous Steps •…th Blood.

Most Nations, Free ones especially should be dealt with like a spirited Horse whom a judicious Rider will keep steady by maintaining an exact Balance in hi• Seat, shewing neither Fear nor Cruelty• occasionally giving and checking th• Rein, while he prudently and resolute•… corrects with the Spur, or kindly bla•… dishes with his Hand.

Your Observations, my dear Country¦man, says the NAMREDAL, are perfect just, and may the great Barrier of Fre•¦dom you have mentioned guard BRITA•… to the End of Time; may no Pretext•… insulted Dignity, no Artifice of Pow•… ever circumscribe its Liberties.—H•… do I rejoice to hear that Modesty fin•… public Protection; this is indeed a g•…¦rious and essential Limitation; 〈◊〉 what am I to think of those Atta•… sometimes gross ones you say, which 〈◊〉 made up•… Religion? Do they not •…¦pear of a most irrational, pernicious, and criminal Nature? Does not the Breath of Infidelity go forth like a two-edged Sword to destroy? Does it not, like pesti •ential Air, blast the rich Harvest of fu •ure Hopes? Does it not intoxicate with •himerical Reasonings and sophistical Distinctions, which, like an Ignis fatuus in •he Night, shoot forth delusive Beams to mislead the unwary Follower?

Such Effects, sage NAMREDAL, says I, may undoubtedly be feared; and the more, as some Persons of eminent Abili •ies have assiduously laboured in these Works of Perversion; yet still I comfort myself with Hope that the grand, uniform, and beautiful Fabric of RELIGION, framed by an Almighty Founder, can never be endangered by the Blasts of Envy: Indeed its external harms may be somewhat obscured, its Purity defiled by occasional Filth, with which its Enemies bespatter it; but, self-existent, it stands above the vain Efforts of Libertinism, and, like the ERMIN, soon frees itself from all the Stains of Pollution.

If its Ministers were but half so assiduous to support it as its Enemies are to pull it down, its Dignity would easily be maintained: Neither Virtue, Courage• Wisdom, nor any Qualification, is known without Trial; almost any one may steer a Ship in a Calm, but Shoals, Rocks, and tempestuous Seas prove the able Marine• wherefore the Opposers of RELIGION• seem a Kind of providential Instrument• to aid and improve its Strength. Fro• open Attacks it is in very little Danger• but there are unnatural Bosom-Foes, who, having got a Place in the TEMPLE, by the Flames of Enthusiasm endeavou• to destroy it; or, thro' the Incongruity of Zeal, heap disproportionate Additions upon the Edifice, till it becomes deformed to the Sight, and so very tottering, that the slightest Breath of rational Inquiry shakes it from the Foundation.

Here is the Danger to be feared and lamented; yet so very gentle and passive are our PASTORS in general, that they suffer Sheep-clothed Wolves to enter their Folds and devour their Flocks: Nay, the Madness or Knavery has reached some of themselves; several who should be its Guardians have joined this destructive Crew, and that not only with Impunity from their Superiors, but with the Character of Saints from the People. I myself knew a Clergyman in that Part of ENGLAND call'd YORKSHIRE, who, while he used the common uniform Method of instructing his own Congregation, was no more thought of than any neighbouring Gownsman; but being once characterized as the Favourer of an enthusiastic, and I fear hypocritical, Sect, and pursuing their itinerant Method of preaching from Place to Place, his Influence so far increased, that he could draw People a Dozen or Twenty Miles to hear his inspired Doctrine.—Amazing Infatuation of the giddy Multitude! that a Man must lose his Senses or his Honesty to please them; that Madness or Hypocrisy should prevail more than truly orthodox Principles, or clear and solid Reason!

Aye, replies the NAMREDAL! Is it even so? You have then indeed rightly pointed out the real Danger, and I am particularly concerned at your Charge of Indolence against so many of the Holy Brotherhood; undoubtedly if they would set seriously to work; if in their Preaching they would speak as much from the Heart, with as much Feeling as those Innovators seem to do; having sound Docrine, fit Morals, impartial Reason, and establish'd Authority, they must soon root out, by Conviction, such noxious Weeds as produce nothing but false Zeal, unintelligible Speculation, and rambling Exclamations, which extort, from Weakness and Ignorance, Astonishment, Tears, and Groans; while moral and social Virtues are swallowed up in a Chaos of ill-regulated Faith and unessential Melancholy; the first of which audaciously prompts them to believe themselves Saints, and the latter, in a great Measure, renders them unfit for the reasonable and necessary Pursuit of their worldly Concerns.

Is it not wonderful, continues he, that in the most important as well as the most trifling Concerns of Life, Persons in the nether Globe are led by Ostentation? That notwithstanding multiplied Instances of pretending PATRIOTS making a snug Retreat under the Shelter of Places, Pensions, or Titles, and being as it were miraculously struck dumb, any Man, by the self-same Steps, shall become a popular Favourite, and be looked on as the Shield of LIBERTY, to ward off the Encroachments of Power? Is it not equally astonishing that in RELIGION also, tho' they are warned of false Teachers, every vociferous Fanatic or sanctified Hypocrite can mislead the Multitude? Who like him best who has the greatest Volubility of Tongue, whose Speech is the loudest and most impetuous, and finds most Fault with established Principles or Customs? But what surpasses all Imagination, is, how the most illiterate Upstarts can gain this Influence; Wretches who impudently boast of Ignorance as an Apostolic Recommendation.—Oh Hypocrisy!—Oh Novelty! How powerful are thy Charms! Before them Reason flies an Exile; or, turning Suicide, effects her own Destruction.

Here, imagining that we had gone far enough upon this Subject, which, minutely considered, would have led us into inextricable Prolixity, and that, after our utmost Endeavours, we could contribute little more than our Wishes to prevent or to amend, I returned to my Inquiry concerning AUTHORS, and the NAMREDAL proceeded to give me the following Account; confining himself, for Brevity's Sake, as he observed, to the most remarkable of the antient Classics, and the most distinguished ENGLISH Writers:

HOMER, says he, presides over EPIC POETRY in NODNOL, assisted by VIRGIL and MILTON, who each contested Superiority with him; but, upon a fair Debate, were obliged to yield, he having made it plainly appear that his Plan and most of his Thoughts were original; that he had Recourse only to his own Genius and Judgment, while his Competitors had the advantageous Example of his Labours; that tho' the MANTUAN was more correct and uniform, yet he excelled in Imagery and Characters; also that the BRITON'S boasted ANGELS and DEVILS were but an Improvement upon his GODS and GODDESSES, drawn from a more copious, striking, and elevated System of Religion. Upon this approved Superiority he was, by universal Suffrage, allowed Precedence; of which however, in Compliment to the great Abilities of his two Brothers, he makes very little Use. Since his Arrival he has produced a Work of infinite Merit, call'd the ALEXANDRIAD, as a grateful Compliment to that Prince for the great Esteem he shewed, while on Earth, for his Works and Memory.

HORACE, whom we have here also, and is reckoned a spirited social Companion, is appointed to write an ODE to each new NAMREDAL; wherein he must not, as is usual in your BIRTH-DAY ODES, idolize the Magistrate, but point out and celebrate those Virtues which may render him worthy of his Dignity.

JUVENAL, who possesses his former Cacoethes scribendi, with a Pen dipp'd in Gall, since we have no Vices amongst us, cannot indulge his Spleen with brandishing the Iron Rod of Satire; but, as a Punishment for having used it unmercifully in the other World, he is obliged to write Panegyrics upon CAESAR, who despises them; and is doomed to see Pleasantry smile around, while he, unheeded, snarles and mumbles Discontent between his Teeth.

BACON, LOCKE, and NEWTON are vested with the Superintendance of all Philosophical Transactions, having succeeded as more general, and therefore more capable, to SOCRATES, PLATO, and SENECA. The STAGYRITE pleaded hard for Admittance, and his Abilities were complimented with eminent Approbation; but the irrational Action of drowning himself counterbalanced all Merit, and reduced him to the Necessity of being ASSELAN, or Usher, to NEWTON.—SHAFTESBURY also, with an Air of much Pertness and Importance, offered himself a Candidate; but was totally rejected for self-sufficient Peculiarity, and a restless Spirit of introducing his own chimerical Notions, to the Prejudice of established and well-grounded Opinions.

TACITUS and CLARENDON preside over History. My Brother Bishop BURNET would gladly have been their Coadjutor; but being convicted of gross Misrepresentations and shameful Falsities in the History of his own Times, he was peremptorily refused, and obliged to •ompound for the Place of Amanuensis 〈◊〉 CLARENDON; in which Capacity TA •ITUS is served by QUINTUS CURTIUS, •ho having been used to write nothing •ut Romance and Flattery, feels infinite •ain at being obliged to transcribe use •ul Maxims and Facts faithfully related, •ithout the Liberty to add one Flourish •f his own exuberant Imagination.

Over the DRAMA SHAKESPEAR sits Su •reme, and is dignified with the Title of •NGAM ARUTAN, or Delineator of Na •ure. Here, as in his former State of •xistence, he furnishes our ESTRALAM, 〈◊〉 THEATRE, with the most celebrated •ieces exhibited amongst us; while RY •ER, and some other carping Critics, who •arled at Beauties they could not com •rehend, are obliged to clean his Shoes •…ternately, as a Mark of their Subjec •…on.

DRYDEN, LEE, and OTWAY contribu•… also to the public Amusement, as well 〈◊〉 several naturalized NOIBLANS. Tho•… admitted to the Class of POETS are dig•…¦fied by a Laurel Crown; but DRYDE•… as a Mark of his unsteady Principle•… both in Religion and Politics, is oblig•… to wear a Weathercock also on his Hea•… LEE appears with a chained Mania•… Emblem of his Frenzy; and OTWA• is distinguished by a Roll, pointing ou• his Fate on Tower-Hill, and standing 〈◊〉 a Memorial of the Prodigality whic• brought him to that wretched End.

Not having heard any Mention of BE• JOHNSON or POPE, I asked the NAM¦REDAL if they were in NODNOL; th•… former, says he, is not, but the latte• is. Two Points, notwithstanding th•… Claim of a powerful Genius, which wa• admitted, excluded BEN: First, his abo¦minable Principles bordering upon A¦theism; and next, his Ingratitude to SHAKESPEAR, either of which was sufficient to shut him out; so that he is banished to ERISHNOVER; where, the very Name of Genius being hated, he drags on a tedious and despicable Existence. As to POPE, on Account of his Abilities, his filial Affection, and the particular Regard HOMER expressed for him, he might have been very happy; but, being charged by poor DENNIS with most unmerciful Cruelty to him, and a shameful Envy of his Contemporaries, both which Accusations were fully proved, he was sentenced to wear a Laurel Wreath, mingled with Sprigs of Nightshade, by which it is not a little blasted; and, moreover, he is almost continually tormented with the Jests and Railery of COLLEY CIBBER, BEAU NASH, and JOHN RICH, late Ma •ager of Covent-Garden THEATRE, the •hree MERRY ANDREWS of NODNOL.

ADDISON, who was rather admitted as a GOOD MAN than a GREAT POET, on Account of his Integrity, his Zeal for Morality and Religion while he was on Earth, has been naturalized a CITIZEN, and enjoys the Post of Secretary to the NAMREDAL, and thro' his Intercession, tho' not without much Difficulty, SWIFT has been admitted his Assistant; but, on Account of many Objections, he enjoys not any NOIBLAN Privileges, it being proved upon him that, while in the Ministerial Function, he paid more Attention to Politics than Divinity; that Ambition, not Piety, was his ruling Principle; that he ever took more Delight to censure than commend; that he anatomized Characters with as little Remorse as Surgeons do Bodies; and that he was guilty of unheard-of Cruelty in regard of VANESSA• However, as I have remark'd, ADDISON'•… Interest, enforced with the Argumen•… that he had done many extensive an•… well-appropriated Charities, gained him Admission; yet his Situation is but indifferent, for his Pride ill brooks so subordinate a State, and his perverse Nature is mortified at the Tranquillity he sees around him; so that he never enjoys any Satisfaction, unless he meets some of his Countrymen wearing Badges of their Vice or Folly; and then, DIOGENES-like, he gratifies his malicious Temper with cynical Sneers and biting Sarcasms.

Inquiring whether there were any here of other learned or honourable Professions, the NAMREDAL told me, Very few; and the Reason, says he, may be given without many Words: None of the Clergy can be admitted, unless it evidently appears that the first great Motive for taking Orders was, not the lucrative View of a large Income, for the Indulgence of an indolent luxurious Life, but a serious Resolution to propagate Religion and Piety; to form the Minds, correct the Passions, and cultivate the Virtues of their Hearers; to be indefatigable in visiting and comforting the Sick; and, as far as Circumstances would admit, to be liberal to the Poor; to be (that their Example might enforce their Doctrine) tender Fathers, affectionate Husbands, kind Pastors, sociable Friends, peaceful Neighbours, and loyal Subjects; moderate in their Enjoyments, humble in their Deportment, and chaste in their Conversation.

Under these Restrictions I have known very few above the Degree of Curates reach this Place; and, to confess the Truth, Lawn Sleeves would have excluded me, but that several of my Deficiencies were over-looked, on Account of my uncommon Attachment to the LUNAR WORLD. As to Lawyers, they are generally excluded; for none are allowed Entrance, unless they can prove that, to the best of their Knowledge, they have always been upon the Side of Justice, and never considered the Fee before their Client. PHYSICIANS, as such, are rejected; but extraordinary Qualifications gain them Admittance; and all Military Persons, as turbulent, dangerous Animals, incompatible with a Region of Peace, are excluded without Exception.

Here a confused Noise of several Persons calling out in the Square interrupted our Conversation, the Meaning of which will appear in the ensuing Chapter.

CHAP. VI.

The Manner of summoning the NOIBLANS to the TEMPLE; Ceremonies preparative to entering the TEMPLE; and the Charge given before Admission.—Some Account of the NOIBLAN RELIGION; Observations upon Earthly Places of Worship; the NAMREDAL's Plan for new modelling the Ecclesiastics in ENGLAND.

THOSE Persons, you hear, says the NAMREDAL, are SNERRUNETS to the SALMINA, Servitors to the TEMPLE; they are now summoning the People to the VESPERS, and the Words they Use are NOIGLEVER GENVELA, be grateful to God. Every one obeys this Call, and you will immediately have an Opportunity of seeing the NOIBLAN Method of Worship. Come, go with me, the Citizens are in waiting to conduct us.

As the Ceremonies must be new and somewhat unintelligible to you, your best Method will be to follow the Motions of others, do what you see done, and in your own Heart, after your own Manner and Ideas, pay Adoration to the Supreme Director of all Things; his Praise and Glory is the ultimate End of all that deserves the Name of Religion. Sincerity of Intention is the first and principal Recommendation to Divine Acceptance, which it will certainly obtain: It is not the Splendor nor the worldly Value of an Offering, but the Affection and Duty of him who presents it, that can please an Omnipotent Receiver.

Passing thro' a considerable Number of attending CITIZENS, we went forward to the TEMPLE; in our Way I could not but admire the extremely neat Regularity of the Streets, and the uniform Compactness of the Houses, which will be spoken of more at large hereafter. Coming near the Place of Worship, I perceived it to be a most spacious sexagonal Building, rising into a magnificent Dome; it stood upon a green Eminence of considerable Height, over the Sides of which flowed several sportive Rills of Water, so transparent, that its Sparkles out-shone the Lustre of our highest-polish'd Diamonds.

The TEMPLE was constructed of a Stone resembling EMERALD, united with Cement of a Gold Colour; the Dome appeared to be of Chrystal, supported by a vast Number of Pillars of the AMETHIST Hue, with Capitals and Basis of the purest White; the Order of Architecture appeared very different from any I had ever seen, and exhibited to View somewhat elegantly singular, preserving a Chastness of Grandeur not to be found in the grosser Materials of terrestrial Magnificence.

Having entered the AREA of the TEMPLE, the NAMREDAL, and all who attended him, went to several Basons of transparent, Saffron-coloured Stone, dipped their Heads into Water, washed their Hands, and dried both with Cloths offered them by Servants of the Church: I did so likewise; when straight we entered a most beautiful and spacious ISLE, where we were no sooner placed, than instantaneously such a thick impenetrable Darkness wrapped us round, that I could by no Means see those Persons who stood close by: At the same Time, from above, below, and every Side, the most dismal Sounds, undulating thro' the Building, struck my astonished Ears, and, I may add, intimidated me not a little. On one Side Torment screamed hideously, and on another Despair vented her lamentable Groans. This lasted between five and ten Minutes; when, as quick as Thought, the inner Part of the TEMPLE opening, such a Flood of Light burst upon us, from many Thousands of Chrystal Lamps, that my Eyes could hardly bear so powerful a Contrast: The doleful Howlings were changed into Melody that might almost be called Celestial. This odd and striking Ceremony I found to mean, that as all created Beings are imperfect in some Degree by Nature, and more by Practice, Justice would condemn them to the Seat of Mourning, but infinite Mercy, satisfied with temporary Punishments for temporary Crimes, opens the Gates of Bliss and takes them in.—This ECARUOCNE, or Ceremony of Remembrance, is performed once a Week, to impress a deeper Sense of Duty and Devotion; to deter the Worshippers from Vice, as they wish not to continue in the Gloom of Misery; and to urge them to Virtue, as they hope for a speedy Admission into the Sun-shine of Joy.

Three AVOZENS, habited in graceful and awful Robes, now approached from the inner TEMPLE, at which all the Congregation bowed to the Earth; the elder of the three, supported by the other two, spoke, as I was informed afterwards, in the following Manner:

Children of God, I charge ye in his holy and tremendous Name, (and remember that before him you cannot dissemble) if any corrupt Thoughts at present taint your Breasts; if there be any one among you who is not in the most unlimited and perfect Peace with all his Fellow-Citizens; if there be any Parents who are not tender of their Children; any Children who fail in Respect and Duty to their Parents; if there be here a tyrannical Husband, or abandoned Wife, begone; presume not to defile this holy Place with your unhallowed Steps; but hide your Heads in Darkness, veil your Eyes with Tears, clothe your Hearts with Mourning, and gird your Loins with Penitence, till you become pure in his Sight, whose Eye beareth not a Stain. This, in the Name of our Almighty Sire, I command; but if you be free from these criminal Pollutions, by the same Authority I admit you to present yourselves before him in this sacred Place, with joyful Humiliation, an Offering fit for Heaven.

Having thus spoke he retired, and the Congregation followed, again prostrating themselves upon entering the inner TEMPLE. How pleasing would it be, thought I, to see such a Number of Persons upon Earth daring to approach their CREATOR, upon the same Principles, and under the same Restrictions? How could our FASHION-MONGERS, who go to criticise upon Dress, bear such a Test? How could the Sons and Daughters of Gallantry, who go to Church to worship one another, endure such a Trial?—O uncourtly NOIBLANS, who banish Compliments, ogling Smiles, and all Politeness out of RELIGION.

DIVINE SERVICE now began, and continued with striking Solemnity near an Hour, the Congregation sometimes prostrated, at others kneeling, and then standing.—Sitting is not allowed, it being observed, that if the NAMREDAL has so much Respect paid him, as that none presume to sit in his Presence, it must be deemed a most unbecoming Instance of Impiety to take that Freedom before HIM who is UNIVERSAL LORD and FATHER of ALL.

The SENIOR AVOZEN having concluded with a very pathetic Benediction, we departed. The SNERRUNETS, as we passed thro' the Isle of the TEMPLE, calling out,—Maginleb Nalsina, yurne yelveren, phazaz wal Sezived:—Remember the Mediator is in your Houses, and sees all your Thoughts as well as Actions.

From VESPERS we went to the NAMREDAL'S House, and, being seated in a Kind of Saloon, I entered into an Inquiry concerning the Principles of the NOIBLAN RELIGION.

The chief Points of it, says he, are, That they believe a single undivided DIVINITY, indescribable, incomprehensible, to whose Appearance they adapt no Form, to whose Attributes they prescribe no Bounds: They never consider him as an angry, vindictive BEING; for That, according to their Notions, would be to suppose him subject to Passions, and consequently imperfect: They say he bestows from BENEVOLENCE, pardons from MERCY, and corrects from the same amiable Principles: That as by infinite WISDOM he knows all created Beings to be fallible, he will try them according to their Capacities and Opportunities: That he will not punish the Failings of real Weakness, nor reward untempted Rectitude. To design well, and to resist Temptation constitutes VIRTUE, as to act under Self-conviction, and to indulge pernicious Passions is of the Essence of VICE.

In this ISLAND it appears a most strange and partial Notion to fix one Place of Abode, one Degree of Punishment, and that eternal, for all Sinners. They believe in and worship a NALSINA, or MEDIATOR, whom they suppose to be formed and appointed by GOD for the Sake of erring Creatures; that he is coeval with the Universe, for which, however, they do not fix an Aera, taking such a Disquisition to be both unprofitable and presumptuous: That he has the Perfections of a DEITY, except that he is liable to the Passions of Grief and Joy; the one caused by obstinate Sinners, the other by contrite ones. The Reason they assign for the Existence and Belief of such a Mediator is, that the pure undefiled Essence of DIVINITY being incompatible with the corrupt Breath of Sin, this Medium has been formed, that the NALSINA may more particularly superintend the Actions of Mortals, receive their Petitions, and supplicate for them to the Throne of Grace.

Once each Day at least every Person is obliged to attend public Worship, and no schismatical Notions are allowed to be propagated; tho' every Man is at Libery to judge for himself, if he decently complies with established Customs; nor do they think that any Variation from thei• System, if grounded upon pious Principles, will injure future Happiness. Al• those, moreover, translated from Earth• who are not naturalized, are indulged in pursuing the Modes they practised in their former Existence, if it be agreeable to themselves.

I observed, continued he, that the Grandeur of our TEMPLE struck you; nor is it surprizing in a Place where every other Building, except the HOUSE of JUSTICE, bears a simple, unadorned, humble Equality; but the NOIBLANS think it serves to create a greater and more awful Respect to the DIVINITY to whom it is dedicated; it is to influence themselves, not to gratify their GOD; for they are persuaded that Works of Piety are as fragrant, and of as much Estimation from the lowly Cottage as the most towering Edifice.—How different is this Principle and Practice of the NOIBLANS from what I remember to have observ'd in England, where most of the Noblemen's Stables are Buildings superior to many of the Churches?

This last Remark I could not help acknowledging to be as much adapted to the present as to any preceding Times, and expressed my Concern that it should be so, when, among innumerable other public Extravagancies, between Eight and Ten Thousand Pounds yearly, besides Matches, are given and subscribed for Horses to run one another to Death, and to impoverish the Breed of those useful Creatures, who, for Sake of Speed, are reduced to meer Baubles: That so just a Complaint should have Place, when, at a random Guess, Two Hundred Thousand Pounds annually are lavish'd in over-grown Salaries, or Stipends, to Churchmen who never officiate; while several of those, who toil and labour incessantly in the Pastoral Office, as well as many of the Places of Worship, are pitiable Objects of Poverty.

True, says he, it is a Point of most just and rational Concern; as to those Bounties which only promote the Spirit of Gaming, or, in plainer Terms, the Spirit of picking one another's Pockets, they are, instead of Praise, highly deserving of Censure; yet even they, considering some Advantages to Trade accruing from the Money that circulates at public Meetings, are not so heavy nor unjustifiable a Tax upon Society as the other Evil that was complained of.

What the Reason, what the Motive may be for making and continuing so many exorbitant Church Livings, no Man can tell, unless they be designed to make the MINISTERS of RELIGION mercenary Tools of Government. Why should any Man, by any Evasion whatever, be enabled to hold Pluralities? Why is not one Living deemed sufficient for one Teacher? Why not one PARISH, if small, served by one MINISTER, at One hundred and fifty Pounds a Year? Or, if large, by two, each having so much? Why might no• BISHOPS (for such Fathers or Inspecto• I think necessary) officiate for One tho•¦sand, and their immediate Assistant• DEANS, at Five hundred? Why shou•… those, who ought to be intirely devote• to Spiritual Matters, sit among Tempor• Lords, and, busying themselves about 〈◊〉 present State, entering into the Caba• and Factions of Policy, lose Thoughts 〈◊〉 a future? Why should so many Prebe•¦daries and Dignitaries, who are othe•… wise well provided for, crush Velvet C•¦shions in the Stalls of Cathedral Churche•… and annually sweep away such monstro•… Sums? Why should a Man, the high•… he goes in Church Preferment, be th• less assiduous?

Surely these Points well deserve to b• considered, and loudly call for Reform•¦tion.—'Tis true the Labourer is worthy 〈◊〉 his Hire, but not of Superfluity; and ce•¦tainly that Man in common Life would be deemed very weak, who gave extraordinary Wages to a Parcel of idle Fellows, merely to stand as Lookers-on; while he half-starved the industrious Part, that carefully and laboriously fulfilled their Duty. Besides, continues he, there is, in the Election of a BISHOP, something so farcical, that, were it not a Jest upon Religion, it must excite Laughter: To enter upon Choice, when the Choice is •bsolutely fixed before-hand, makes it •ne of HOPSON'S Kind; and what we may •eem yet more ridiculous, is the Nega •ive three Times pronounced to a Digni •y which the humble Creature, by himself •nd his Friends, has possibly, for many Years together, been labouring to gain.

The NAMREDAL'S Sentiments most •erfectly coinciding with mine, I told him 〈◊〉 would be a great Service to Religion, •nd a distinguished Honour to the Policy of Government, if such Complaints could be redressed, and these Affairs settled upon a permanent and equitable Footing.

I think, replies he, after long and serious Consideration, that they might; and I shall briefly sketch out the Scheme by which so desirable a Purpose might be brought about. You will, no Doubt• find me fallible in some Points; but I hope not in many, nor material ones.

Observe then, first, That I would have the KING act merely as Defender of the Church; by his Magisterial Authority to protect it from naturalized Foes, and by the Force of his Arms to shield it from foreign Attacks; by no Means to inter¦fere in the Choice of Pastors, as his nu¦merous Avocations to other Matters can¦not afford him Time to examine into th• Characters and Abilities of those he is t• appoint; for which Reason he is unde• the Necessity of taking Recommendations from the Tribe of Courtiers, who at all Events push on their own Relations and Dependents. This would possibly be deemed a Circumscription of Royal Prerogative; but nothing sure that tends to promote Religion and Virtue can take from real Dignity; it must rather give additional Lustre, and verify a Maxim which says, That Limitation often strengthens Power.

I would recommend a total Annihila •ion of all Right to Presentations, either 〈◊〉 BISHOPS, CHAPTERS, COLLEGES, or private Persons: This might be called 〈◊〉 Attack upon private Property;—but 〈◊〉 ask, What Property? Do some Hun •reds or Thousands a Year enable a Man •o chuse out a proper Guide for his Fel •ow-Creatures? Few People, I believe, would chuse a blind Friend to fix on the Person of a Wife, or the Situation of a House: Why then in the much more material Concern of being wedded to Futurity, or in the Choice of an eternal Dwelling, should Men, blind with Ignorance or Avarice, which is too often the Case, claim any Right to chuse? If they sell their Election to a Living, it is a mean and scandalous Insult upon RELIGION, and therefore ought to be abolished; if they have no lucrative View, they may easily give up the Privilege to more competent Judges.

To prevent Murmurings, as Men are apt to think what they have once enjoyed is their indisputable Right, the present Sons of the CHURCH, I mean such as have a sufficient Provision, should enjoy their several Stipends for Life; but as they fell off, the proportionate Division I have mentioned should take Place, with all convenient Speed, among their Successors.

The CLERGY of each DIOCESE, in Convocation assembled, should, upon a Vacancy, chuse from among themselves the BISHOP or DEAN of the said DIOCESE, being first sworn that no previous Application from any Person, no partial Regard of Consanguinity or Friendship, but the unbiassed Opinion of real Deservings, swayed their Choice. Indeed, as the BISHOP and DEAN would have no Power of increasing their Incomes, there would be but little Chance of Partiality.

As to all other MINISTERS; upon the Death of an Incumbent Application should be made to the COLLEGES for a STUDENT in DIVINITY to fill up the Place; who, being recommended by them to the BISHOP, should be examined by him, the DEAN, and six other CLERGYMEN, and, if approved by them, ordained and instituted. This Method of granting no Orders till a Vacancy happened, would prevent such Shoals from seeking Shelter and Subsistence in the Gown, where too often they find Indigence.

The above Scheme, which you may ripen in your Thoughts, diminish, enlarge, or reject as you see fit, would be productive of several great and desirable Advantages, if carried into Execution: First, it would cut off all Adulation, Cringing, and mean Dependence from the Ministerial Function; Men of Morals and Learning would be the sole Judges of Persons fit for their Brotherhood, not the ignorant mercenary Fools of Fortune. If the Robes of Divinity then ever entered the Chambers of Great Men, it would be with a proper independent Respect; they would then, as MINISTERS, be only Servants of their Heavenly Master, having nothing to wish or fear of this World's Circumstances, their Thoughts might and would be more devoted to a future; their Tongues might then, with honest and unprejudicial Openness, tell essential Truths, however uncourtly. In short, being in a Manner self-existent, in Comparison of their present Condition, Obedience to National Laws excepted, and being totally debarred of all political Reflections and Remarks in their Preaching, they would become a much more respectable Part of the Constitution, and more properly fulfil the sacred Title of Ministers of God's Word. As they are now situated, 'tis very much to be fear'd that too many are rather Retailers of the Words, and Flatterers of the Vanities of Men.

Another great Advantage from the Equality proposed, would be the saving a great Sum annually from the present CHURCH REVENUES; which, being applied to the building or rebuilding of CHURCHES, would furnish what might be called decent Places of Worship in every Spot, and would also contribute much to ease the Poor's Rates. No slight Consideration, where such weighty and multitudinous Taxes prevail as in ENGLAND; Taxes which, tho' framed by a National Council, are, generally speaking, more unequally levied there than in any other known State.

CHAP. VII.

Meets two Females; questioned by them concerning the ENGLISH LADIES; Remarks upon FASHION; DRAMATIC WRITERS; the present ones, and THEATRES considered.

I Know not to what Length of Conversation our Zeal, in regard of Churches and Churchmen, would have carried us, had not a blooming Youth of about Fifteen acquainted us that Supper was ready; when the NAMREDAL said, Now you shall see our private Method of Living, which is the same in all Houses, my Office of Magistrate only confines me to the Fatigue of Ceremony at Dinner, at other Times I am in the Family-Way.

Here I was conducted into another Apartment, where was set a small Table and a very moderate Repast of Fruits and Vegetables; soon after us two Females, of very pleasing and respectable Forms, came in, quite plain, but extremely neat in Dress: The NAMREDAL presenting me to the first, said, This is the Great ELIZABETH of ENGLAND; I would have paid Obeisance on my Knee, but she remarked, with most delicate Affability, that her present State of Existence happily claimed no such Respect; said she was highly pleased at seeing a Countryman, and that after Supper she had many Questions to ask. Being introduced to the other Female, I found she was the NAMREDAL'S Wife.—Take Notice that Persons translated from Earth are not, like the NOIBLANS, limited to a particular Age for Marriage; but, if naturalized, may chuse when and whom, as may be most agreeable.

Conscious of being unacquainted with the Customs of Salutation, I paused for some Time in a State of diffident Confusion; which my kind Instructor perceiving—Blush not, says he, at being ignorant of what, before now, you could not possibly be acquainted with; RIDICULE is a bitter Weed that rarely shoots up in NOIBLA; we do not, like the Malevolent in your World, wound Modesty with cruel unseasonable Sneers and Laughter; on the contrary, we give with Pleasure all possible Information to those who may inadvertently do wrong.

How ignorantly inhuman is it to dart the Stings of RIDICULE at a Person for taking Steps too long or too short; turning Toes in instead of out; drooping the Head instead of holding it erect; or dangling the Arms instead of disposing them according to Art! Why should a volatile FRENCHMAN laugh at the more temperate BRITON for Gravity, or the BRITON vent his Spleen at a SPANIARD for Formality, and at a DUTCHMAN for his wide Breeches? Indeed if any one of those Articles made a Man better or worse, they would deserve Remark; but as every Nation has its Virtues, and I believe the same may also be said of every Individual, some few Oddities, or what seem so, should be overlooked, or corrected with Tenderness.

But, continues he, I am going too far; know that our Method of Salutation between the different Sexes is, the Man holds his Hand over the Female's Head, without touching, and says, May Virtue and Constancy ever flourish:—To which she replies, her Right Hand pointing to her Left Breast, With Love and Obedience.—This is the whole of Ceremony, and only used once each Day, let them meet ever so often.

Here we sat down to Supper, the NAMREDAL having invoked a Blessing. During the whole we sat silent as at Dinner, and, having finished, performed the same Ablution. We were attended by two Boys and two Girls, Children of the NAMREDAL; who, after Thanks returned, removed every Thing with a pleasing Dexterity; when my kind Host broke Silence in the following Manner:

As we are all acquainted with ENGLISH, says he, we will converse in that Language; I know that, were it not for Custom, whose arbitrary Power renders every Thing more bearable, the Ceremony of Silence at Meal-Times would be deemed as great a Hardship by the Females of NOIBLA, as it must be to the Females of the nether World; even now, Ladies, I know your Tongues are itching for Liberty, so e'en let them loose.

Upon my Word, Sir NAMREDAL, replies ELIZABETH, you shall be called to Account if you are so tart upon our Sex; don't you know that Talking is our Privilege here as well as on Earth; nay, let me tell you, if once roused up, we can think and act too; but you Lordly Creatures, called Men, would make Cyphers of us; that was the Reason I always stood by myself, and made some of my Brother MONARCHS know that the Policy and Resolution of a Woman is as much to be feared as those of Men; come, Sir, says she, this is no Magistrate in his own House, so, for all his Gravity, we'll be as prattling as we please.

With all my Heart, replies the NAMREDAL, my Gravity can't have more agreeable Relaxation, and, to prove it, I'll make one among you; so let us hear what you'll propose for our Entertainment.

Here, addressing herself to me, she said, I was so much fatigued with Politics while on Earth, that I shan't trouble you with many Questions that Way; yet I should be glad to know whether LIBERTY still flourishes as it did while I held the Reins of Government: To this replying in the Affirmative, and that an equal if not a superior Share of Military Fame attended the BRITISH Arms, she seemed particularly pleased; and then asked me about her Countrywomen, what Virtues and Foibles at present prevailed amongst them.

This Interrogatory occasioned some Hesitation; Madam, says I, to speak the Truth will rather appear Severity, and I would not willingly enter into a Misrepresentation by false Softening and misapplied Tenderness; I shall sketch out a Picture as like the Originals as my Observation and Fancy will admit, in which Light I hope you will candidly receive it.

Certainly, says she; it is not the Cus •om to disguise Truth here in regard to •ither Sex; it is told, contrary to the old ENGLISH Proverb, at all Times and in •ll Places, therefore you cannot oblige •s more than to adhere strictly to it; for •owever we might wish our Sisters thro' •he Universe to do as they ought, yet to •elate the Vices or Follies of any Part, •annot possibly give Offence.

Thus encouraged, I proceeded: The •ADIES of ENGLAND, Madam, as you •ust remember, taken in a general View •f natural Qualifications, Persons, Fea •…res, and Understandings, are excelled by none; and I believe, did they no• take extraordinary Pains to raise up A•¦pearances against Reputation, they migh• justly claim an exalted Share of Virtue•… but a strange, unaccountable Frenzy• called FASHION, so intoxicates the•… Brain, that almost every Consideratio•… is sacrificed to the ridiculous Worship 〈◊〉 that Idol; which has given such unlimi•¦ed Sway, that if a Husband, Father, 〈◊〉 Guardian, pretends to find Fault and ad¦vise, he is immediately silenced by th•… powerful Word; the extraordinary E•¦fects of which you will more fully com¦prehend, by sketching the Outlines of 〈◊〉 fine Lady's Life.

It has been justly observed, that a we•… regulated Reserve and Modesty are th•… chief Points of Beauty in a Female Ch•¦racter; but this Opinion FASHION h•… totally overthrown, and stigmatiz'd the•… with the Terms of unbred Sheepishnes•… while a shameless Front, staring Eyes, wandering Limbs, and nonsensical Vociferation, usurp the Titles of Elegance, Ease, and Wit; these admirable Qualifications are seen to a considerable Degree, even in single Females, but arise to so eminent a Pitch of Perfection in married ones, that it would almost occasion an Observer to believe they only considered Matrimony as a Licence to free them from every rational Restriction, as a Passport to carry them thro' the Paths of Li •entiousness; to such, all Men are alike •ut their Husbands, they indeed find Coldness and Reserve enough: But these •re general Remarks, I must come more within the Bounds of a particular Cha •acter, which cannot be better struck out •han by giving you the daily Disposition •f Time.

In this Point, I know not well where, •r how to begin, as a fashionable Lady has no Morning: Let it suffice to say she gets up at Noon, or after it; receives and reads Cards of Compliment during Breakfast; takes her Chair or Chariot, and tires both the Men and Horses in galloping from Street to Street, to pay what they call MORNING Visits; then returns and dines in the Evening, drinks Tea at Night, and plays Cards, Supper-Time excepted, till the next Day is advanced. This, with some very inconsiderable Variations, is the continual Round of Taste and Elegance.

I perceiv'd a Face of Astonishment possess ELIZABETH at this Description, while the NAMREDAL'S Lady questioned me, whether the Husbands pursued the same Course of Living: I told her many of them did; but took Care not to disgrace themselves, or Wives, by appearing at the same Places. MATRIMONY with them is somewhat like a Country-Dance, where, tho' you have a set Partner, you as often dance up to those of your Neighbours, and so change about.

Aye! says she, And pray what domestic Happiness can such Couples enjoy? What Cordiality, what mutual Satisfaction? How can they possibly fulfill the Duty, or feel the tender Sensations of Parents? None of those Points, Madam, I replied, are of the least Concern among Persons of polite Taste; such mean Considerations are referred to the vulgar, rusticated Part of Mankind, never admitted amongst the more polished Assemblies: Besides, they are so infatuated with foreign Frippery, that scarce any Thing which is not origi •ally devised among our inveterate and •onstant Foes will go down. Meat, Clothes, and Manners, are so adulterated, •hat I dare say this Lady, who once •…ayed the British Sceptre with such illu •…rious Merit, were she to return, would scarce be able to discover any one Circumstance that could bring her Countrywomen to Remembrance.

No truly, returns ELIZABETH, not by the Account you give of them; there was such a Thing as FASHION in my Reign, and it frequently varied, which, for Sake of Trade and Manufactures, should undoubtedly be encouraged in some Measure; but I do not recollect that ever it went to such a pernicious Length: It contributed to a reasonable Pleasure, but not an idolatrous Pride: Night and Day took their regular Turns among all Ranks of People, nor did any Degree of Quality exempt a Woman from due Attention to domestic Concerns. This did not prevent Hours of Relaxation and commendable Amusement; but, giving an Edge to Appetite, rendered them more pleasing, at the same Time that Regularity gave Spirit to the Features, Vivacity to the Dispositions, and Health to the Constitutions of my Countrywomen. Certainly, your fashionable Ladies, as you stile them, have very little of the healthful Bloom in their Countenances, and, while subject to the Vicissitudes of GAMING, they must frequently distort their Features into very frightful Forms. I should think to present them with Mirrors, during a Run of very bad Luck, would deter them from such contemptible and pernicious Practices, unless indeed the Spirit of plundering themselves and others happens to be more prevalent than the Consideration of their Beauty.

Well observed, says the NAMREDAL, I have listened to the Remarks on every Side, and think them just; but, surely, continues he, the Men must be of a widely different Cast, else the Nation could never be in such Repute, nor crowned with such Military Fame as you have described. I answered, that, in general, they providentially were so, for the Defence and Support of LIBERTY; but that many of the Nobility in particular, and other Nurselings of Fortune, aspiring at the Character of FINE GENTLEMEN, act upon Principles diametrically opposite.

Aye there, replies he, lies the Partiality and disgraceful Inconvenience of Hereditary Honours; by which the most contemptible Wretch, if he be born a Lord, continues so, and claims Precedence of many Thousands better than himself; tho', usurping the Post of a JOCKEY, with pitiful Ambition, he scampers over the Turf, or, in the Semblance of a GAMESTER, rattles the Dice, still his Nobility of Blood consecrates, as it were, such Baseness, and gives the Wretch an unmerited and dangerous Importance.—Now, Shame upon it,—Did REASON ever authorize such Principles? No, certainly, rather Vice in the Garb of Reason, knowing her own Deformity, has run for Shelther under the Glare of Political Honours, which may render her true Shape less perceptible, and consequently less frightful. If Rank were to be the Result of approved Merit only, it would much more justly and universally claim Respect. In the present Disposition of Things, tho' it serves to awe the Vulgar, in the View of sensible Men, it does but reflect Scandal upon the unworthy Possessors.

Several other Questions were asked alternately by the NAMREDAL, his Wife, and ELIZABETH; but as my Answers were necessarily Descriptions of what the Readers must be sufficiently acquainted with, as being intimately known to almost every Individual, I shall come to the last Point of Inquiry, which was concerning the present State of DRAMATIC Writing and our THEATRES.

Here I confessed that we have not at present, nor have had for some Years, one AUTHOR for the STAGE, that, in any Shape, deserves the Name of POET; the TRAGEDIES are such cold, elaborate, unalarming Pieces of Declamation, that no Action can give them Life, no Attention pursue them thro' five dull Acts: Indeed they boast of strict critical Unities, and say that the Flowers of Poetry are designedly rejected, as improper for Dialogue; yet, were it not for such Pieces as abound in those Flowers, and frequently break thro' the Trammels of CRITICISM, from which the THEATRES draw their chief Support, our modern Scribes would not have an Opportunity to crawl thro' nine dull Nights in their Passage to Oblivion: Nay, I will do them the Justice to say, I believe that their strict Attachment to Criticism proceeds from its being better suited to their barren Imaginations, which want Force and Activity to get beyond its insipid Limits. In regard of their COMIC Pieces, as the Duke of BUCKINGHAM said, it was no easy Matter to pen a Whisper, we find it now a masterly Point to pen a Blank; besides, it is made almost a constant Rule for one of the Interlocutors to begin speaking before the other has done, which I always considered as a Piece of ill Manners. In short, there is such Snipsnap, such Pauses, and Hesitation, that if Conversation in private was to take Example from what is exhibited on the STAGE, it would be reduced to a most unmeaning, indelicate Stammering; a Labouring, like the Mountain, to bring forth a Mouse.

What, says ELIZABETH, such a Depravity in a Country where SHAKESPEAR, DRYDEN, OTWAY, and CONGREVE have left such bright Examples! I am asham'd of my native Soil, and wish it had deserved a better Character; but pray, Sir, have the Theatres declined equally?

To this I replied, That, to the best of my Knowledge, they had never been more encouraged, nor ever were worse supported, than at present; the Incomes of Performers are immoderate, the Merit very confined. As to the former; why might not One hundred a-year, besides the Advantage of a Benefit, genteelly reward any Degree of Merit? By such a Regulation, such Savings might be made as would enable Managers to take more reasonable Prices for so rational and essential an Entertainment as the Drama affords: In this I would by no Means lessen the Consequence or Credit of the Stage, for which no Person can have a greater Regard; but, by bringing it into less exceptionable Bounds, to guard it from the Envy and too just Complaints which are now levelled against it.

In regard of Performance; I have always thought that the general Course of Nature only can be a fit Standard of Example; every Character in private Life will be an unerring Original to copy for the Stage; only as Water-Colour Painting, which is seen at a Distance, and by artificial Light, requires stronger Strokes than the Oil-soften'd Tints; so Action upon the Stage should enforce and render its Original more striking.—But how extremely different is the present Practice; instead of Nature, ONE eminent Performer, who has certainly astonishing Abilities for his Profession, is set up to View, and a servile, unequal Imitation of him glides thro' the various Degrees. In the Play of Richard scarce a Man but affects some Peculiarity of the crooked Monarch; in Lear the whole Court is struck with a Kind of complaisant Debillity; or when this same Idol of Imitation, with masterly Transition, descends into the meaner Scenes of low COMEDY, his Grimaces, by a Kind of electrical Concussion, warp the Features of Characters widely different; so that almost in every Thing you may see his Starts, his Pauses, his Action, his Attitude, and his Variations of Countenance.—But ah! how changed! how misapplied! I have often thought this paltry ignorant Compliment to superior Merit, like a whole Town's takin Fancy to the Cloaths of a Connoisseur in TASTE; who, without regarding their own Size, taller or shorter, bigger or less, should make theirs exactly of the same Dimensions. In such a Case the Original may be pleasing and pretty, while the Copies must be utterly ridiculous.

Truly, says the NAMREDAL, at this Rate your Performances must lose much of the Energy that animates just and original Action, for no Qualification relative to human Nature can be more contemptible or cruel than MIMICRY, as it either proceeds from a total Barrenness of Idea, or an innate Malevolence, which catching at, and aggravating Defects, provides Food for the insatiate Appetite of RIDICULE.—I am amazed, continues he, that so much good Sense, as must be possessed by an English Audience, can digest such gross Food, or be contented with the Skeletons of Merit.

Nay, Sir, I replied, if good Sense was to prevail, the Case must soon take a different Turn; but there is a delusive Monster called PREJUDICE, which, leading Judgment by the Nose, decides: Scarce one Auditor thinks for himself, but catches from his Neighbour, and retales to a third; nor is this confined to Performance, it reaches Authors also; which may, in some Measure, account for that Decline of Genius I have mentioned: Scarce any Piece can arrive at a Perusal, unless recommended by some RIGHT HONOURABLE Personage; who, tho' he can hardly read, is, from his Title, by the Courtesy of England, a profound Judge of Wit, Sentiment, and Stile. A Sort of Necessity to indulge this usurped Prerogative exculpates the MANAGERS from the Charge of not regarding Merit. Whenever a Penny is to be got, Nobility and Interest must put forth their monopolizing Claws, and draw it all to the Dens of their hungry Dependents, who are thus laid a Tax upon the Public, and become Idolaters of those illustrious Patrons that purchase the Immortality of DEDICATION-FAME, at the Expence of others; they cannot keep those more valuable Appendages of Quality, MISTRESSES and RUNNING-HORSES, so cheap.

At this Rate, cries ELIZABETH, I shall lose all Patience, and begin to despise my Country; I got out of it in Time, and am happily come to a Region where impartial Judgment is allowed its just Influence; no Piece here is valued for the Name of its AUTHOR, but only for its intrinsic Merit: Even SHAKESPEAR, tho' he has never failed yet, is as critically examined as one who had never wrote before; indeed there is a precautionary Method which renders this Impartiality unavoidable; for every new Dramatic Performance is, without any Intimation of the AUTHOR'S Name, submitted to twelve CENSORS, who consider it, and give the Sanction of their Approbation, or condemn it as unfit. According to the Degrees of Merit they are performed; and then, when ready for Exhibition, the AUTHOR confesses himself: Such a Court of Critical Inquiry would enlarge the Field of Genius in BRITAIN. When you return you may propose it if you chuse; in the mean Time, if you will accompany the NAMREDAL, this Lady and me, to our ESTRALAM, you will have an Opportunity of seeing the Rules and Action of our NOIBLAN DRAMA.

Well, says the NAMREDAL, since the Ladies have proposed you so agreeable an Entertainment, I request your Company in the Morning to the REQUECEX, 'tis the Day for administering Justice, and I dare say there will be some Trials worth your hearing: I had scarce Time to reply when the great Bell tolling interrupted our Conversation; the Ladies, wishing me a calm Repose, immediately withdrew; and the NAMREDAL telling me that was the public Signal for retiring to Rest, conducted me in Person to a small agreeable Apartment, where Neatness supplied the Place of Elegance; there, after the most kind and hospitable Expressions, he left me to compose my Thoughts by Slumber, or to give them full Scope in the wide Field of Reflection upon what has been hitherto related.

When alone a vast Variety of Ideas crowded upon each other in my Imagination; first, my unaccountable Conveyance to the LUNAR WORLD, surprizing and inconceivable in its Nature; next, that peculiar and kind Reception I had met in it; the Novelty of those Ceremonies I had gone thro'; the happy Situation, the tranquil Equality of the People I had, as it were, dropp'd among; with many other Circumstances which do not now occur: Moreover, I felt some Degree of Uneasiness, that I knew not how I was to return, nor when, nor if at all; but Sleep, like a kind Friend, came to my Assistance, and, by its oblivious Influence closing up the Eye of Memory, relieved me from those Anxieties which my new and extraordinary Situation had occasioned.

CHAP. VIII.

Account of the GARDEN BIRDS; breakfasts with the NAMREDAL's Lady; their Remarks upon BEAUTY, LOVE, and MARRIAGE; goes to the REQUECEX; some remarkable Trials.

NOtwithstanding the Hurry of Imagination which disturbed me when I retir'd to Bed, I enjoyed all Night the Refreshment of composed Sleep: Being waked by the tolling of the Bell, which I understood to be the general Signal for rising, I got up; as there was no Window but at the Top of the Room where I lay, and that in Form of a Cupola, I ascended to it, and looking out perceived the Sun to be an Hour high, or thereabouts, beaming upon the most compact and beautiful Range of small Gardens that I ever saw, wherein an infinite Number of Flowers, Herbs, Shrubs, and Trees were delightfully variegated; several Birds, about the Size of our common Hens, were hovering round; their Plumage appeared charming beyond Description; their Heads were covered with a shining Down of Golden Hue; their Wings exhibited the brightest Scarlet; their Necks vied with the Azure of the Firmament, and their Bodies shamed the purest Snow: These I afterwards understood to be called Dosen Alopu, Garden Birds, and that they are highly reverenced in NOIBLA for two Reasons; because, first, they destroy all the Vermin and Insects that are pernicious to the Fruits of the Earth; and next, because they are a Kind of natural Physicians; for when any NOIBLAN is indisposed, as sometimes is the Case slightly, he goes into his Garden, lies down on his Back, when the first of these Birds that sees him will light directly upon his Breast, put its Bill to his Mouth, give him three or four Flaps with its Wings, then rise and hover round him till he stands up, when it leads him to whatever Herb may be salutary for his Ailment, and this taken never fails to give immediate Relief.

About half an Hour might have passed away in Observation before I heard any Body come, when the NAMREDAL'S Son approached with some Water in a Chrystal Vessel; which presenting with a fine Cloth, he told me that his Mother attended my coming to Breakfast; this occasioned me to hasten; and, having washed, I followed the Lad, who conducted me whither she was.

She received me with most delicate Affability, and kindly enquired whether the Novelty of my Situation had not interfer'd with my Rest: I replied, That tho' an unavoidable Surprize possessed me, yet every Circumstance I saw or heard was so exceedingly agreeable, that my Nature had never been more pleasingly or more rationally gratified than since my Arrival in NODNOL. This Declaration seemed to give her sensible Satisfaction, and she proposed Breakfast in the most hospitable Manner; observing, at the same Time, that they had none of the Materials in NOIBLA which she understood we used for Morning Meals in the lower World, yet hoped Novelty would not render them less agreeable.

Nay, Madam, said I, my Taste is rather plain and unpolished, any Thing will do for me; but, were I one of the nicest Sort, Novelty would be a strong Recommendation. Oh, how would Persons of Quality and Fashion in ENGLAND envy me a Breakfast in the MOON? How would they pay, were there a Communication for Rarities from hence? Our EAST-INDIA Trade would soon decline, as this would be more impracticable and full as useless; for tho' we have every Thing in our Island that Nature can reasonably require, but Content; yet are we so industrious to cultivate Trouble and Expence, that immense Oceans are ploughed, and the most furious Tempests encounter'd, to bring home an Herb, which (being fashionable) some Wretches, who can hardly purchase Bread, must have at any Rate.

Here, laughing at what she justly call'd such artificial Necessity, she poured out a Kind of Azure-colour'd Liquor. She told me it was extracted from the Maltra Enuthe, or Tree of Health; and that the small Cakes eaten with it were made of the Bark, dried, powdered, and wrought into a Consistence like our Biscuits. On Trial I found the Liquid delicious to the Palate, and highly balsamic to the Stomach, which would have induced me to drink a good deal more than fell to my Share, for as I found afterwards the Quantity is limited; you take as little as you please, but not as much as Appetite calls for. The Cakes relished but indifferently; however, upon the whole, I could not complain.

Before Breakfast I asked for the NAMREDAL, but was informed that, being to enter upon the Distribution of JUSTICE, he would not be seen till he was going to the REQUECEX; that he eat nothing till the Trials were over, nor ever suffered himself to be disturbed during the Time of preparatory Devotion. It will be near an Hour, Sir, says his Wife, before he appears; if a weak Woman's Prattle can make that Space less tedious, I will rather expose my own Deficiencies than suffer you to want Amusement. I respectfully thanked her for such unmerited Condescension, wherein she so much under-rated her own Merits; adding, that nothing could be more agreeable than her Conversation, were I not intimidated by a Fear of discovering a Deficiency on my Side.

Mighty well, replies she, I have often heard that you Men of the LOWER WORLD are vastly given to Flattery, which you always bestow most plentifully upon Females, and sometimes upon one another; but, pray, is it not in both Cases of a mean and pernicious Nature? It can only serve to make Vanity flourish, and predominate over such empty Idols as are fond of this Incense, while you who offer it, however it may answer particular Purposes, must naturally have a poor Opinion of that Feeling you labour so industriously to create. We have luckily no such Artifice, no such Parent of Folly among us; all Approbation is limited to Minds, not Persons; to Conduct, not Beauty; because one is the Merit or Fault of Nature, the other merely our own: But pray, Sir, that I may be the better informed of the State of LOVE in your Country, let me know whether all are obliged to reinforce their Passion with this intoxicating Ingredient, or is it possible to succeed without its Aid.

Madam, says I, to confess the honest Truth, such Footing has insinuative Address gained among all Sorts of People, that Delusion is much more prevalent than Honesty; all cry out against Flattery, yet all take it down with great Pleasure; but then it must be varied in its Shape according to the Patient it has to work on; and tho' the Effect of it upon Women is certainly most extensive and powerful, yet Men of all Denominations are liable to its Influence.

As to LOVE, it has been well affirm'd by many eminent Authors, that it is the noblest Feeling of the human Heart; noble when properly fix'd, and supported by a delicate Sincerity; dangerous when, at War with Reason, it captivates all our Intellects, and leads even our Senses to their own Delusion. I would endeavour to describe the fairest Side, and shew disinterested Affection in its purest Colours; but 'tis in vain to attempt a Description of that which so rarely exists amongst us; to find it in any Rank of People is almost a Miracle; Marriages indeed are negotiated, because Nature and Custom prompt the different Sexes to such Connections; but then they are transacted like any other Branch of Trade, and Money appears the chief Match-Maker; besides, as if we had not been sufficiently sordid in our Way of thinking, the LEGISLATURE took Care to frame a legal Bar against mutual Inclinations; a Law which serves no one End but to enlarge Church Revenues by exorbitant Fees.

A very extraordinary Piece of Policy indeed, replies she; thank Heaven we have no such LEGISLATORS here. I thought you told ELIZABETH last Night you had the same LIBERTY as in her Time; now I don't recollect to have heard my Husband, who was long after her, mention any such Law as you have just spoken of.

No, Madam, says I, 'tis of very late Date, and, as it did not affect me directly, I had forgot it. And pray, returns she, how came it ever to be thought of? I replied that I never heard nor could imagine how such an Abortion was conceived; some People conjectured it to be the Fruits of a few Great Men's Apprepensions that their Daughters, to the Disgrace of Blood, might prefer hale, sensible, vulgar Fellows to emaciated, wornout Fools of Quality; so, in a Rage, they determined to make as many young People thro' the Kingdom unhappy as they could; and in numberless Instances I believe it has had the desired Effect, by occasioning otherwise well-disposed Couples to take imprudent Steps, rather than encounter parental Tyranny, (which shews itself too frequently) and the superfluous Forms required by Law.

Here she expressed great Surprize that a Nation, famed for Wisdom and a Love of Freedom, should suffer one of the tenderest Rights of Nature to be infringed, or incumbered with unreasonable partial Restrictions; then continued to question me about a Kind of Animals she had heard of, call'd PRUDES and COQUETTES; when I told her we had Plenty of them; the former being a Creature which declines all reasonable Freedoms for a forced Reserve, after sheltering the worst Principles under an aukward Semblance of strict Modesty; the latter, a Kind of wanton Butterfly, which flutters and expands its gaudy Wings as much as possible in the Sunshine of FASHION; fond of being admired, and never more happy than when it can make its Admirers miserable.

And are Men, says she, such arrant Dupes as to be imposed upon by mere Semblances? Or is it the extraordinary Beauty of your Women which gains them such an unlimited Influence over Reason?

I told her that it was beyond my Power to account for it; that Beauty was frequently to be met with, and certainly had much Power; but that, among the polite World, one scarce knew what was Beauty, as the Fashions of Shapes and Features were so often altered; sometimes oval Faces are the Standard, then round ones; sometimes broad Waists, sometimes narrow; so that what is Beauty at one Time is Deformity at another; and Nature, who is not confined within the narrow Bounds of Rule, suffers frequent and undeserved Censure from the ignorant Caprice of prevailing Opinion.

Here she burst out into a loud Laugh, and repeated the Words FASHIONABLE BEAUTY several Times, till the NAMREDAL'S Appearance terminated our Conversation.—He told me that, if I had a Mind to accept of his Invitation to the REQUECEX, he was just going thither, and would be glad of my Company; I paid my Compliments to his Lady, and went with him directly.

We were conducted by four-and-twenty Citizens, some of whom carried, as among us, the Insignia of Authority immediately before the Magistrate; the chief of which was three Figures in one Piece, most admirably cut from a brilliant Stone or Composition; the chief Figure was JUSTICE; on her Right Hand appeared WISDOM supporting her, and on the Left MERCY, (to whom she kindly extends her Hand) kneeling in a supplicative Posture. The Characters were set forth with much the same Emblems as we see on Earth.

Having reached the Court, the NAMREDAL placed me on the Left Hand of his own Seat, which I found to be a Mark of Distinction in NOIBLA. Two Citizens immediately approached, raised a Canopy over the Magistrate, and then closed him in, except on the Side where I sat, with somewhat like a Silk Curtain; I wondered what the Meaning of this could be, but was soon relieved from Suspence; for he told me that, as the Eye was a Parent of Prejudice in almost every Point of View, and the best Understanding or soundest Judgment might be warped by it, the Custom of NOIBLA was to veil the Magistrate from Sight of those who came to plead before him, till his Arbitration was determined; it has also, says he, the good Effect of keeping Attention from being disturbed by surrounding Objects.

Just as he had ended this Observation, a Citizen, with much emphatic Deliberation, repeated thrice the following Words:—Bineda, Oh NAMREDAL, Twanto Selben Twantastez.—Temper, Oh Father, Justice with the Dew of Mercy. This was the whole Ceremony used in opening the Court; which being performed, two Females came up, and one preferred her Complaint in the following Manner:

FATHER of NODNOL, I come before you to seek Reparation for an Injury done me by a Woman here present; an Injury of the nicest Nature, and unprovoked by me in any Shape, as it has been my constant Endeavour to live in Harmony with my Fellow-Citizens; yet has she, for what Cause I know not, given out such prejudicial Reports, that the warm Cordiality which has subsisted between my Husband and me ever since we were married, is like to abate much; at least if it does not, I shall be more obliged to his Love and Gentleness of Disposition, than to her Tenderness in talking; wherefore I humbly beseech Assistance from your Authority to restrain her.

Is it not astonishing, says the NAMREDAL, that where Law is so very precise and plain, where also it is so generally known, that any can be found hardy enough to transgress it? Is there any Property we stand possessed of so valuable as Character? Any Happiness equal to Peace of Mind, or any Weapons so dangerous as busy Tongues? How much Censure do they deserve who with Slander taint the one, or embitter the other? It is a Cruelty of the most affecting Kind, unprofitable, and ignominious; you then who are charged with such uncharitable, such licentious Behaviour, and to one of your own tender Sex, who are as easily blasted as Flowers in the Field, say how can you acquit yourself of the Complainant's Accusation; or on what Consideration can you plead a Mitigation of that Punishment, which, according to Law, falls upon the Guilty?

Most venerable Sir, replies the Defendant, in whom dwells impartial Justice, to the Charge against me I plead Innocence, which I hope to manifest in few Words; TRUTH can never be Slander; our Laws, we all know, point out the Duties of our several Stations: This Woman, my Neighbour, who knows and is well able to perform all that can be required of her, by an unusual Influence gained over her pliant Husband, has for some Time past prevailed on him, together with his own Charge, to undertake several Concerns which properly fall under her's; by which Means gaining more vacant Time than any other Woman can command, she has made it her Business to run from House to House, promoting Idleness by unprofitable Conversation, and making industrious Women uneasy by sneering at their commendable Application: Roused to Resentment by such Behaviour, I own I have said that her Husband shows himself weak to be so lavish of Indulgence, and that she proves herself highly unworthy of it by such Misapplication. This is the Extent of my Crime, if such it be, and to your Clemency I submit.

This Case, says the NAMREDAL, considered both from the Accusation and Defence, pronounces each Party equally guilty; you the ACCUSER, for shamefully withdrawing from the Duties of a good Wife under the Shelter of a Husband's Fondness; and you, the ACCUSED, for being so very forward to publish your Judgment upon an Affair which in no Shape came under your Cognizance. By what Authority are you the INSPECTOR of your Neighbours? You should be the Friends, the Advisers, and not the Censors of each other; rather studious to conceal than forward to expose Failings of this Nature; but, since you are come here fraught with the Spirit of Contention, hear your several Sentences.

You who have been so ready to alarm Justice by the Clamours of Complaint, knowing yourself to be guilty of at least as great a Crime, shall for three TOIRTAS lose your Seat in the RUVENAL, and attend your Husband there publickly as a Servitor during that Time, having the Words Retho ettibem Elbal,—An artful Wife,—labelled on your Breast in large Letters; and you, who have been so alert to proclaim a Neighbour's Failings, shall be enjoined strict Silence for the same Space, being stigmatized with the Words Retho slintat Elbal,—A tatling Wife.—Hence therefore, and from the Shame you have both incurred, learn that social Agreement is preferable to Contention; that to correct our own Failings, to mind our own Business, and not to interfere with other People's Concerns, is the surest Road to Quiet and Prosperity.

The Females being removed there appeared two Brothers, named EFFILAR and AITROTA; the former addressing himself, said—AWFUL SIR, we are Brothers and Twins, not more intimately united by our Births than our Inclinations; yet as the Death of our Mother, as soon almost as we were born, has left the Eldership doubtful, and as, without fixing this, we cannot make any legal Settlement of our Affairs, we humbly present ourselves before your Wisdom, and supplicate Advice how we may surmount the Difficulty; which is still rendered more disagreeable as we both love the same Female, but cannot prevail with her to declare in Favour of either till the Point in Debate is settled.

Before I proceed to determine, says the NAMREDAL, inform me, with the most undisguised Truth, whether you seek my Judgment from any View of Precedence arising from Eldership, and whether to decide in Favour of one will create any Uneasiness in the other? Or whether, united by the tender and natural Tie of brotherly Love, you seek it simply from the Motives you have mentioned?—They replied, solely from the Motives they had mentioned.

Well then, continus he, you shall have my Opinion; but some Space of Consideration will be requisite in so new a Case. In the mean Time, I must let you know that there is a poor Man, who, by Accident, is rendered incapable of contributing his Share to the common Stock, wherefore he is in Danger of being removed from his Seat in the RUVENAL, the thought of which wounds him deeply; he has sollicited Help from several, but found none; if you, or either of you, can spare Time to assist him, it will be an Act of great Benevolence.

To this EFFILAR replied, VENERABLE FATHER, I could wish that I had the Power of assisting him, but my Hours are so limited and so fully employed, that the kind Wishes of Pity are all I can afford him.

Alas, replies AITROTA, when Affliction wounds, Wishes are but a poor and painful Palliative, my Hours are limited and engaged also; yet, if to spare one Half of what is allotted for my particular Use can relieve him, I will most gladly, Oh Father, let him have it.

Aye, says the NAMREDAL, then you have fully convinced me who is the elder; 'tis not a few Hours or a few Years that should place one Man before another; he who excells in Humanity, Benevolence, and social Duties, deserves the most worthy Precedence; That, AITROTA, do thou enjoy, and exert thyself in Pity to thy Brother; to enlarge his Heart, to soften his Feelings, and to create in him an Emulation of thy Goodness.—Here the Twins embraced, and he whom the NAMREDAL had set aside, seemed as well pleased as if the Decision had been on his Part; only a conscious Blush glow'd on his Cheek at the just and gentle Rebuke of the Magistrate.

As they were on the Point of departing, the NAMREDAL said, Hold, I remember you told me that one Female had engaged the Affection of both, but that the Doubt of Eldership prevented her from accepting either: This appears to me a Proof that she is unworthy, and that she seeks to gratify Pride more than Love; therefore let me advise you to bring her before me, and I'll negotiate, if possible, to your mutual Satisfaction; but take Heed not to mention the Determination I have made. This Proposal was joyfully accepted, and EFFILAR went immediately to bring the Damsel; with whom in a few Moments he return'd, when the NAMREDAL spoke thus to her:

Virtuous Maid, here are two Brothers, both, I understand, Suitors of yours; they have agreed, before me, to abide by your free and unbiassed Choice; say then, whether you will become the Wife of EFFILAR, now in Court confirmed the Elder, or throw yourself into the Arms of AITROTA, the Younger? (in saying of which he reversed them) the Girl, without any Hesitation, fixed upon EFFILAR; when the Magistrate, having made her repeat the Choice three or four Times, and declare that Love only swayed her, he informed her of the Deceit, and that in Reality she had chosen the youngest; upon which her Colour went thro' a Variety of Changes, and she appeared in the most painful Confusion; which the NAMREDAL perceiving, for now the Curtain was drawn from before him, he cried out, with unusual Severity,—Thou Shame to the NOIBLAN Race; thou poor unhappy Slave of Pride, unworthy and ignorant of that pure aethereal Flame which disinterested Love beams into the Heart; how couldst thou be so blind to thy own Happiness, and cruel to that of another, as to have thy choice directed by so false a Meteor as Vanity? Fly, begone, worthless as thou art, from the Comforts and Pleasures of Society, that thou may'st not again have the Opportunity to impose a worthless Heart, through Recommendation of a lovely Form; I banish thee for five RAYAMONS to OMYRCHAL, at the End of which Time thou may'st return, but never to enter the honourable State of Marriage; bring forth, says he, the Garment and Veil of Mourning, in which that adventitious Merit, on which she prides herself so much, may be immediately obscured.

At this dreadful Sentence the self-betray'd Female fainted away; the Brothers could not avoid assisting her, nor even shedding Tears; yet, in such Cases, Sentence once passed is irrevocable, and however they might lament her Fate, all allowed it to be just.

Mercy deliver us, thought I, what a deal of Banishment we should have in ENGLAND if such a Law was to take Place; whole Swarms of the pretty, sprightly, fluttering Animals called COQUETTES would be swept away, to the no small Diminution and Prejudice of the Beau Monde: Harmless Beaus would then be deprived of Subjects for Eloquence; Winks, Nods, Leers, Becks, Smiles, and Ogles, the powerful Artillery of artificial Love, would be rendered useless, and the whole Oeconomy of Intrigue totally annihilated.

This Reverie would, in all Probability, have extended itself to a considerable Length, but that I was roused by a confused Noise arising from the Approach of two Disputants, one of whom I recollected to be my old Friend BEAU NASH; the other, in Appearance, I knew nothing of. The BEAU, who still retained his Badge of Office, the white Beaver, spoke to the NAMREDAL, as we shall find in the next Chapter.

CHAP. IX.

Continuation of Trials in the REQUECEX.

MAY it please you, Sir, I was esteemed upon Earth a very considerable Personage; 'tis true I am in the MOON at present; but no Matter for that, I was MASTER of the CEREMONIES at a Place called BATH: Indeed they used to stile me KING of it; and, tho' I am no CITIZEN here, I ruled all the CITIZENS there; nay, scolded Ladies, cut Jokes upon Lords, directed Balls, bespoke Plays, and did—in short I did what I pleased: The Corporation idolized, the Long-Rooms reverenced, the Coffee-Houses adored me: I had my STATUE set up in the PUMP-ROOM, not a good Likeness; but no Matter for that,—I was always a great Enemy to Quarrels, and therefore never suffer'd a Sword to be drawn in my Territories; so not knowing there would be any Occasion for such Implements in another World, I came hither quite unprovided; which this grim old ROMAN being acquainted with, took the Advantage of superior Strength, and Yesterday pulled me by the Nose all round the SALMINA RUVENAL, spurring me on every six or eight Yards with a severe Kick, which I think very Ungentlemanlike Treatment, and I hope you will think so too, that he may be corrected for it.

The familiar Nothingness of this Speech occasioned a general Smile thro' the Audience, and I observed that even the NAMREDAL had some Difficulty to command his Muscles; however, Reason and the Dignity of his Office checking other Feelings, he took Occasion to remark, that neither of the Parties being naturalized, nor any Law provided in NOIBLA against such violent Proceedings, the Justice to be adapted in this Case must lie entirely upon his Judgment, which he would administer with all possible Impartiality: For this Purpose he desired the Defendant to offer his Negative, or Palliation.

The Accused, who was no less than the great CATO, delivered himself to the following Effect: SAGE SON OF JUSTICE AND LAW, to be Competitor or Disputant with such a Thing as now stands before me, is Punishment equal to the highest Crime; yet unworthy, and far beneath my Notice as he is, I shall enter into an Account of my Conduct, which has discovered no Fault but that of too much Mildness.

This self-blown Bubble has, in tracing himself, sufficiently shewn his Emptiness and Insignificance; nor will it avail much to set the paltry Portrait in more glaring Colours than that he spent a Life of Fourscore Years in a motley Mixture of Vice, Idleness, Foppery, and ridiculous Authority; the Jest of sensible Men, the Companion of Sharpers, and Terror of dancing Girls; laughed at in Youth, and despised in Age.

How different from this the Race I run? My early Years employed in the Cultivation of my Mind; those of ripen'd Manhood worn, as I may say, in stemming the Torrent of Faction;—there view a skipping Child of Folly—here behold a disinterested Son of LIBERTY;—and shall—Oh Heavens—this Insect, not two Degrees above mere Instinct, because we are met in a Region where just Distinctions cease, dare to mate himself with CATO unchastised? No, let it not be said. Roused by his biting Taunts, I own I did treat him in the Manner he has set forth; nor can I think unjustly; yet if Fortune, which has pursued me even hither with her Frowns, continues to torment me, I cannot avoid her Malice, and therefore must endure it.

This Reply being concluded, in which may be discovered as much of Stoical Pride as the other shewed of Foppish Self-sufficiency, the NAMREDAL discussed their Case in the following Manner:

It is amazing that, in this Region of Tranquillity, neither Example nor the Fear of Disgrace, which is the most poignant Sting of all Punishment, can reduce Sublunars from that turbulent Spirit so prevalent amongst them.—You, NASH, continues he, who boast of having been so many Years Conductor of public Manners, ought to know better than to break untimely Jests upon a Man so much more eminent than you ever could pretend to be; notwithstanding those who think themselves Wits on Earth may indulge a supposed Privilege of casting their Darts indiscriminately round, we never can suffer it here, unless in Form of legal Punishment, since it is repugnant both to Reason and Humanity; I shall therefore enjoin you to observe an absolute Silence for one RAYAMON, never hereafter, on any Pretence, to utter a Falsity, and to be clothed all the while of your Silence in a coarse Garment, the direct Contrast to that you seem so fond of.—Here the BEAU groaned deeply, and begg'd for his white Hat, but even that was denied him, which seemed to have still a more sensible Effect; while CATO confessed a Kind of cynical Joy at so ridiculous a Distress; but, as the Enjoyments of ill Nature ever should be, it was of very short Continuance; for when he thought himself justified in his Antagonist's Sentence, the NAMREDAL opened his Eyes, and mortified his Pride thus:

Think not, CATO, that the Conviction of him exculpates you; though you did receive some slight Offence, yet I know not any rational System that unites the several Characters of Complainant, Judge, and Executioner: Besides, there is in your Defence somewhat as blameable as in the former Part of your Conduct. Your Accuser sets forth his own Character justly, without throwing any Sarcasms upon yours; he betrayed Pride, but then it is of the inoffensive Kind.—On the contrary, you have endeavoured to mount yourself on his poor Ruins; you have carefully diminished him, and ostentatiously magnified yourself; tho' a Man of your Reflection must know that the greatest Merit vanishes before Self-praise, like Chaff before the Wind: Besides, you have enviously suppressed one most amiable Part of his Character, an industrious, unlimited Disposition to Charity, which must have reached your Ears as well as other Points relating to him.—You boast of Philosophy; how comes it that, so armed, you could not restrain yourself from Blows, and suffer his Insignificance to pass unheeded? But the Passion of ungovernable Pride which intoxicated you on Earth, still visibly prevails, tho' you have so often felt its bad Effects; in this Case I cannot avoid passing upon you the following Sentence: That, after NASH has performed his Pennance, you shall be obliged to keep him Company for two RAYAMONS; when, by my Authrity, he may talk as much, as loud, as fast, and vent as keen a Ridicule as he pleases, being at Liberty once each TOIRTA to claim the Assistance of his Associates CIBBER and RICH.

These Names made the Stoic shudder; but knowing the Matter was unavoidable, he collected what Resolution he could to carry off Appearances, and flounced out of COURT with a Look of ineffable Contempt, while CAESAR and POMPEY, who had been listening from a Corner to the whole Transaction, indulged their Mirth very freely on this Occasion.

The next Complaint was a Charge of Ingratitude preferred by one Man against another, in which the Plaintiff set forth, That he had, upon several Occasions, assisted the Defendant; that he had been industrious to oblige him, notwithstanding which, continues he, forgetting the Feelings every honest Man should have for Favours received, he has taken the first Opportunity of shewing himself my Enemy.

What, says the NAMREDAL, is it possible? Can there in NOIBLA be such a Wretch? INGRATITUDE, the very Mention of a Temper so disgraceful to the reasonable Nature, provokes our Indignation. Shall Beasts of the Field cast off their Wildness, and enter into a grateful kind Intimacy with their Keeper? Shall the winged Inhabitants of Air come tamely to the Hand that feeds them; and shall Man steel his Heart against all Impressions of Kindness, and all Sentiments of GRATITUDE? Oh Shame! Shame! Shame! Say thou who art complained against, how thou canst wipe off so deep a Stain; a Stain which, were it possible thou couldst have a thousand other Virtues, would sully and depreciate them all.

Sage and merciful ADMINISTRATOR of JUSTICE, says the Defendant, to describe the Anxiety I feel in being even supposed capable of such a Crime, requires more forcible Expression than I am possessed of; it pains me too that, in my Defence, I must cast some Censure upon a Man who, I acknowledge, has often done me Service; but his own precipitate Temper forces the disagreeable Task upon me, and Self-defence requires me to perform it; which, however, I shall do in as gentle and concise a Manner as possible.

I have confessed myself indebted for Favours received; but how far the Obligation was diminished by my Benefactor's public boasting of his Kindness to me, at several different Times and Places, I submit, Oh NAMREDAL, to your impartial Determination: Notwithstanding this, my Feelings were not lessen'd, nor would I have neglected any proper Testimonies of Thankfulness. This Complaint of his arises from my having reported some Misconduct I observed in his Family while I acted as one of the ELBIROS, weekly Inspectors; a Necessity irksome in itself, yet at that Time unavoidable by me.

Most certainly, replies the NAMREDAL; are Acts of Friendship to take the Place of Bribes? Must Truth and Justice be sacrificed to them? Shall the delegated Trust of public Offices be betray'd to private Partialities? Besides, continues he, applying to the Plaintiff, thy mean Proclamation of thy Bounty not only diminishes, but even annihilates all Obligation; hadst thou exerted it merely to serve thy Friend, the silent delicate Pleasure of doing it would have sufficed thee; but Ostentation was the Principle, and being destitute of Virtue, it is fit thou shou'dst be destitute of Reward for these Reasons; and more particularly for impeaching the Character of thy Fellow-Citizen, I consider thee as a Criminal, and shall sentence thee to act as his Servant three REAPANS, and once each TOIRTA to make a public Acknowledgement of thy Guilt in the RUVENAL, solliciting his Forgiveness.

Here the Defendant earnestly implored a Remission of the Sentence, remarking that it would be as painful to him as to the condemn'd Person; and that he was certain this public Repulse would correct that Impatience of Disposition which led him into Error.—Well, says the NAMREDAL, I yield to thy humane and generous Sollicitation, which, for malicious Prosecution, returns the gentle Balm of Mercy: Depart full of that Satisfaction a generous Heart must fee• from alleviating or averting Distress; and thou, unworthy Object of this Goodness, endeavour, by a zealous Reformation, to deserve so valuable a Friend.

The next Subject of Judicial Consideration, which came before the NAMREDAL, was an Accusation against a young Man for uttering some Expressions inconsistent with Modesty before a Company of Females: As he acknowledged the Circumstances at large, and rested his Cause on the Clemency of the Court, nothing more passed but the following Remarks made, and Sentence passed by the Magistrate.

Hast thou not been taught—Oh inconsiderate Youth—that MODESTY should be held ever sacred? That it is the Shield of Virtue, and, if once penetrated by the Stings of Vice, scarce admits Repair? Like Snow it discovers the smallest Speck that chances to light upon it, and as that watry Consistence melts away before the Sun, so MODESTY vanishes before the Heat of inordinate Passions, or even Words expressive of those Passions.—Wouldst thou preserve Purity in Feeding, and yet defile thy Mouth with impure Language? Hast thou no more Regard for Society than to vent such pernicious Poison? Will it please thee to breathe Infection that may blast the Roses of Beauty? Art thou endowed with Reason to make it an Instrument of Good or Evil? If of Good, how canst thou employ it to wound the tender and delicate Ear of VIRTUE? If of Evil, like those venomous and nauseous Animals, which are equally dangerous and loathsome, thou shouldst be shunn'd and excluded from Society.

Thus much I have spoke, if Shame be not dead in thee, to rouse it. What remains for me is to pass the Sentence established by Law for such Offences; which is, that barefooted, with thy Head uncovered, and the Words, Retho esol na itsedom,—A Foe to Modesty,—on thy Breast; thou art to be publickly led thro' NODNOL six Days successively, and afterwards in the same Manner thro' every ARESAL in the whole Island of NOIBLA; during which Space thou art disfranchised from all thy Rights and Privileges as a Citizen.

After this a grave Man and a young Female made their Appearance, and the Man spoke to this Effect: I am, VENERABLE NAMREDAL, Father of this young Woman now brought before you, and in that Relation have always exerted my tenderest Care, as well from natural Affection as from the Principle of parental Duty; I have not only studiously cultivated her Mind, which I have found most apt and teachable, but I have also, upon all Occasions, allowed her every prudent Indulgence; like a delicate and beauteous Flower she has flourished under my Care, yet it grieves me to add that, for some Time past, she has conducted herself in a Manner very contradictory to my Opinion, which I take to arise from an Intimacy she has contracted with a Female lately arrived from the nether World. By our Institutions all Women are dressed in the same Kind of Materials, therefore she cannot have Variety of Garments, yet has she an infinite Number of what she calls FASHIONS; sometimes long Sleeves, sometimes short; sometimes Wings as if she was going to fly, then bare as an unfeather'd Pinion; sometimes a Tail sweeping the Ground, then so much curtail'd that half her Legs may be seen; besides which, tho' I have often pointed out agreeable Partners for Marriage, she puts me off with saying she cannot give up her Liberty yet; that such a one is not handsome enough; that another is not witty; a third has no Spirits, and many other such-like trifling Evasions; notwithstanding which she is never easy but when flaunting with Men: This I have often remonstrated against, but to no Purpose; and of late she has had the Confidence to tell me that Men in Years were no Judges of what was fit for young Women; wherefore, Oh FATHER of NODNOL, I have brought her hither for your Wisdom and Authority to influence.

Aye, replies the NAMREDAL, have we Disobedience and a Contempt of parental Power creeping in amongst us? If so, adieu to Order, Peace, Virtue, and social Happiness.—Pray, young Madam, how have you ventured to depart so far from the Obligations of Nature and the strict Laws of this Island? If you have any Apology, any Plea, make it, and I shall attend.

The poor Girl, covered with extreme Confusion, had scarce Power to utter the following broken Sentences; that she loved her Father very well, and had a great Pleasure in obeying him, but that the COUNTESS of—, (her Title is omitted in Respect of some living) lately arrived from ENGLAND, told her, Fathers were such chuff Fellows, who would not willingly allow their Children any Pleasures; that no Girl of Spirit should mind them; that if she married it would cut of all Admirers; that by keeping Company with different Men she would have a better Choice; and that making Cloaths in various FASHIONS would set her off to more Advantage.

A very hopeful Account, truly, says the Magistrate, and for all this sensible, kind Instruction you are indebted to the COUNTESS. Upon my Word it would be great Pity, and reflect upon us much Disgrace, if so public-spirited a Lady, who would reform our Manners, teach us Elegance for Simplicity, and Spirit for Prudence, should go unrewarded; wherefore, Oh ye Citizens, you who this Day give Force to Law, take Notice that I sentence the said COUNTESS, without Hope of Redemption, to the VALLEY of WEEPING; there let her expatiate on Taste; there let her display fashionable Knowledge; there set up the vain Idols of her frantic Brain.

As for you, young Daughter, continued the NAMREDAL, who have been led astray thro' Inexperience, I shall endeavour to inform you better, by remarking upon each Particular of what you have said; this the Duty of the Magisterial Office requires, and my Duty is enforced by those tender and sympathetic Feelings which urge us to guard or rescue natural Innocence from artificial Guilt.

First, then, as to the Love of your Father; I grant it may be affectionate, but it cannot be truly filial or perfect without an unlimited Obedience to his Authority, and an implicit Compliance with his Precepts; which, you may be satisfied, are both exerted to promote your Welfare and Happiness. I know that he and you view Things in a very different Light, as Age and Youth ever do; the Vivacity of the latter, like an impatient Courser, struggles for the full and dangerous Stretch of natural Liberty, while the former is making. Use of the prudential Check-Rein of Restraint.—Consider, Age sees Actions and Circumstances in their true Shape, and discerns what Consequences they lead on to; while Youth, looking through Passion-tainted Optics, views them colour'd according to their Fancy and their Wish; hence therefore the Opinions and Advice of experienced Elders, of Parents especially, should be allowed all due Influence.

Your Choice in Marriage is, by the Laws of the Island, undoubtedly free, and Reason sanctifies those Laws, therefore in this Point you have no Compulsion to fear; but Freedom is not infringed by the cordial Advice of those who have your Prosperity at Heart. As to the idle Notion of losing Liberty and Admirers by taking a Husband, nothing can be more absurd; true Liberty does not consist in a licentious Indulgence of Follies and Prostitution of Time, but in an uncontrouled, voluntary, prudent Pursuit of Virtue and domestic Happiness, to which the very Name of Admirers is a Bane, I mean Admirers of external Charms only; for of those who admire the unfading Beauties of the Mind, who can gain more than she who distinguishes herself by the eminent and most amiable Title of A good Wife? She has numberless Opportunities of commanding Praise, which the single State affords not; in that Character are comprized such invincible Charms as brave the Attacks of Sorrow, Pain, Sickness, and even Death itself; the Matrimonial Union collects into a Train of uniform, solid, and lasting Enjoyment, that Happiness which in Celibacy is diffused variable and imperfect.

By associating with a Variety of Gallants you think Power and Choice enlarged; it may be so, but then it becomes dangerous, since nothing can be more prejudicial to the Character of a young Woman, nothing more repugnant to Prudence; and tho' it be not an absolute Violation of Virtue, yet is it a great Blemish in her Reputation, for even Appearances of what is wrong should be avoided; in the Eye of Reason the Prostitution of the Mind, which certainly leads to it, is little less offensive than the Prostitution of the Person.

As to the Variation of Fashion, which is in itself childish, it may possibly add somewhat to Attraction of Features; nor would there be any great Matter of Offence in it, but for the Time it must necessarily engross, and the unprofitable Emulation it must create of outvying each other in Trifles, when all our Contest should be to gain an honourable Distinction in the Race of public and private Virtues.—Dressing to draw Admirers is one of the poorest Baits of Folly; Neatness is agreeable to Reason and Nature, and equally essential to Maid and Wife; more is at best but idle Superfluity.

Lock up these Remarks, fair Daughter, in your Heart; think not that, being grave, they are severe; entertain a grateful Remembrance of your Father's kind Attention to your Welfare; give Heed to his Advice, Obedience to his Commands, and on such Conditions I will not only free you from Punishment, but even from Censure.

Having thus concluded, the Father reverently made Obeisance to him, and the Girl returned silent Thanks in Tears of penitent Joy. So terminated the Business of the Day; when the NAMREDAL, descending from his Judgment-Seat, conducted me, thro' the attending Citizens, to the Dining-Hall; when seated, he ask¦ed me how I liked their Court of Judicature, which occasioned me to break out into a rapturous Exclamation: Happy! supremely happy NOIBLANS! among whom Justice appears in her own unadorned, modest, native Dignity, not array'd in the Fool's Coat of Tricks and Equivocation: Where the Magistrate is indeed a Parent of the People; where unincumber'd Reason takes its free Course without passing through the Windings and inextricable Confusion of Sophistry; where Innocence and Guilt are contrasted with judicious Impartiality; where Riches, Rank, or Power, never appear to influence; but where the calm determined Voice of Equity, speaking with the Organs of Truth, not only impresses Conviction, but even commands Approbation from those who receive Censure or Punishment.

I am much pleased, replies the NAMREDAL, that you consider this Part of the NOIBLAN Institution in the same Light as I do; other Peculiarities which you have met with since your Arrival in these Regions, I know cannot so well suit the active Spirit of a SUBLUNAR Being.—There is a general and amiable Tranquillity here, but then it is founded upon Principles which entirely restrain progressive Knowledge; all here think themselves sufficiently wise, sufficiently happy; they seek to know no more than they are already acquainted with, nor to possess any Thing better than what their Fathers have enjoyed: This will appear to you a mental Lethargy, and undoubtedly it is such; but many Advantages accrue from such a Mode of thinking, which are in themselves so evident that I need not point them out, especially as you will next Week have an Opportunity of hearing somewhat more at large upon this Topic, when all the NAMREDALS of the Island come to their annual Conference at NODNOL.

The MOUNT of OBSERVATION, the VALLEY of WEEPING, the ESTRALAM, NEROMA, with other Subjects worthy of Observation, will afford you Matter of very agreeable and not unuseful Speculation.

Here the BELL of NOON gave Warning for Dinner, and interrupted a Conversation which would probably have extended itself to a considerable Length. Here also, kind Readers, after conversing and travelling so far together, I hope on friendly Terms, you will think it fit that, for a while at least, we should part: If you are inclined to accompany me any farther in this extraordinary Progress, I shall attend your Call, and in the mean Time I bid you heartily farewell.

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Title statement

A trip to the moon: Containing an account of the island of Noibla. Its inhabitants, religious and political customs, &c. By Sir Humphrey Lunatic, Bart.

Gentleman, Francis, 1728-1784.

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ID [ota]

http://ota.ox.ac.uk/id/5093

ID [isbn10]

1106020928

ID [isbn13]

9781106020925

ID [TCP]

K099545.000

ID [BIBNO]

CW3310497943

ID [ECLL]

0187200300

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— A trip to the moon: Containing an account of the island of Noibla. Its inhabitants, religious and political customs, &c. By Sir Humphrey Lunatic, Bart., Gentleman, Francis, 1728-1784.. vi,205,[1]p. ; 8⁰. York :: printed by A. Ward, for S. Crowder; W. Bristow; J. Pridden and W. Griffin; G. Burnet; G. Woodfall; and J. Johnson, London; C. Etherington, in York; and W. Charnley, in Newcastle upon Tyne,. 1764.. [Sir Humphrey Lunatic = Francis Gentleman.] ['Noibla' reads in reverse: 'Albion'.] [Reproduction of original from the British Library.] [English Short Title Catalog, ESTCT124808.] [Electronic data. Farmington Hills, Mich. : Thomson Gale, 2003. Page image (PNG). Digitized image of the microfilm version produced in Woodbridge, CT by Research Publications, 1982-2002 (later known as Primary Source Microfilm, an imprint of the Gale Group).]

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