The discovery: or, the squire turn'd ferret: An excellent new ballad. To the tune of High boys! up go we; Chevy Chase; or what you please.

Table of contents

- [titlepage]

- [frontispiece]

THE DISCOVERY: OR, The SQUIRE turn'd FERRET.

An Excellent New BALLAD.

To the TUNE of High Boys! up go we; Chevy Chase; Or what you please.

I.

MOST true it is, I dare to say,

E'er since the Days of Eve,

The weakest Woman sometimes may

The wisest Man deceive.

II.

For D_+nt circumspect, sedate,

A Machiavel by Trade,

Arriv'd Express, with News of Weight,

And thus, at Court, he said.

III.

At Godliman, hard by the Bull,

A Woman, long thought barren,

Bears Rabbits,—Gad! so plentiful,

You'd take her for a Warren.

IV.

These Eyes, quoth He, beheld them clear:

What, do ye doubt my View?

Behold this Narrative that's here;

Why, Zounds! and Blood! 'tis true.

V.

Some said that D_+gl_+s sent should be,

Some talk'd of W_+lk_+r's Merit,

But most held, in this Midwifery,

No Doctor like a FERRET.

VI.

But M_+l_+n_+x, who heard this told,

(Right wary He and wise)

Cry'd sagely, 'Tis not safe, I hold,

To trust to D_+nt's Eyes.

VII.

A Vow to God He then did make

He would himself go down,

St. A_+d_+re too, the Scale to take

Of that Phoenomenon.

VIII.

He order'd then his Coach and Four;

(The Coach was quickly got 'em)

Resolv'd this Secret to explore,

And search it to the Bottom.

IX.

At Godliman they now arrive,

For Haste they made exceeding;

As Courtiers should, whene'er they strive

To be inform'd of Breeding.

X.

The good Wife to the Surgeon sent,

And said to him, Good Neighbour,

'Tis pity that two Suqires so Gent—

should come and lose their Labour.

XI.

The Surgeon with a Rabbit came,

But first in Pieces cut it;

Then slyly thrust it up that same,

As far as Man could put it.

XII.

(Ye Guildford Inn-keepers take heed

You dress not such a Rabbit,

Ye Poult'rers eke, destroy the Breed,

'Tis so unsav'ry a-Bit.)

XIII.

But hold! says Molly, first let's try,

Now that her Legs are ope,

If ought within we may descry

By Help of Telescope.

XIV.

The Instrument himself did make,

He rais'd and level'd right,

But all about was so opake,

It could not aid his Sight.

XV.

On Tiptoe then the Squire he stood,

(But first He gave Her Money)

Then reach'd as high as e'er He cou'd,

And cry'd, I feel a CONY.

XVI.

Is it alive? St. A_+d_+re cry'd;

It is; I feel it stir.

Is it full grown? the Squire reply'd;

It is; see here's the FUR.

XVII.

And now two Legs St. A_+d_+re got,

And then came two Legs more;

Now fell the Head to Molly's Lot,

And so the Work was o'er.

XVIII.

The Woman, thus being brought to Bed,

Said, to reward your Pains,

St. A_+nd_+re shall dissect the Head,

And thou shalt have the Brains.

XIX.

He lap'd it in a Linnen Rag,

Then thank'd Her for Her Kindness;

And cram'd it in the Velvet Bag

That serves his R_+l H_+

XX.

That Bag—which Jenny, wanton Slut,

First brought to foul Disgrace;

Stealing the Papers thence she put

Veal-Cutlets in their Place.

XXI.

O! happy would it be, I ween,

Could they these Rabbits smother;

Molly had ne'er a Midwife been,

Nor she a shameful Mother.

XXII.

Why has the Proverb falsly said

Better two Heads than one;

Could Molly hide this Rabbit's Head,

He still might shew his own.

FINIS.

THE DISCOVERY: OR, The SQUIRE turn'd FERRET.

An Excellent New BALLAD.

To the TUNE of High Boys! up go we; Chevy Chase; Or what you please.

Heu me! per Urbem (nam pudet tanti mali)

Fabula quanta fui!

HOR.

WESTMINSTER: Printed by A. CAMPBELL, near New Palace-Yard; for T. WARNER, at the Black-Boy in Pater-noster-Row, and Sold by the Booksellers. 1727. [Price 6d.]

Cunicularii or The Wise men of Godliman in Consultation

They held their Talents most adrait

For any Mystical Exploit

- A The Danceing Master or Praeternatural Anatomist.

- B An Occult Philosopher searching into the Depth of things.

- C The Sooterkin Doctor astonish'd.

- D The Guilford Rabbet Man Midwife.

- E The Rabbet getter.

- F The Lady in the ftran.

- G The Nurse or Rabbet Dresser.

Information about this book

Title statement

The discovery: or, the squire turn'd ferret: An excellent new ballad. To the tune of High boys! up go we; Chevy Chase; or what you please.

Pope, Alexander, 1688-1744.

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University of Oxford Text Archive
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ID [ota]

http://ota.ox.ac.uk/id/3669

ID [isbn10]

1106006682

ID [isbn13]

9781106006684

ID [TCP]

K023021.000

ID [BIBNO]

CW3312480308

ID [ECLL]

0444500600

Availability

Distributed by the University of Oxford under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License

Source

— The discovery: or, the squire turn'd ferret: An excellent new ballad. To the tune of High boys! up go we; Chevy Chase; or what you please., Pope, Alexander, 1688-1744., Bath, William Pulteney, Earl of, 1684-1764.. 8p. ; 2⁰. Westminster :: printed by A. Campbell; for T. Warner, and sold by the booksellers,. 1727 [1726]. [Attributed to Alexander Pope, in collaboration with William Pulteney, by Spence on Pope's authority.] [Publication date from Twickenham edition.] [On the imposture of Mary Toft.] [Reproduction of original from the British Library.] [Foxon, D328] [English Short Title Catalog, ESTCT5529.] [Electronic data. Farmington Hills, Mich. : Thomson Gale, 2003. Page image (PNG). Digitized image of the microfilm version produced in Woodbridge, CT by Research Publications, 1982-2002 (later known as Primary Source Microfilm, an imprint of the Gale Group).]

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